Bruce: That's it, I'm cutting off the internet!
Stephanie: No, please don't! I have a family to feed!
Bruce: ….
Bruce: What?
Stephanie: I need to feed my Neopets!
Wally: How would you like your coffee?
Dick: As dark and as bitter as my soul.
Wally, shouting to someone behind the counter: I need one vanilla latte with extra cream and sugar!
Diana: Gods, give me patience.
Cassie standing in front of an explosion : I think you mean 'give me strength'.
Diana: If Gods gave me strength, you'd be dead.
Bruce: You're right.
Clark: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?
Diana: Why are you on the floor?
Bruce: I'm depressed.
Bruce: Also I was stabbed, can you get Clark, please.
Kid!Dick, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
Kid!Barbara,in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids
Bruce: what the fuck are you guys doing?
Kid!Barbara: playing systemic oppression
Hal: Must be hard not being able to laugh
Bruce: I do have a sense of humor you know
Hal: I’ve never heard you laugh before
Bruce: I’ve never heard you say anything funny
Kon: Hey Tim,
Tim: Yes?
Kon: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?
Tim:
Tim: Where’s Bart?
Riddler, talking to some random girl: And here's my number. Ha-ha!
Scarecrow: Do you just... walk around with your phone number pre-written on pieces of paper???
Riddler, smirking: Yep.
Scarecrow, rolling his eyes: Of course you do-
(Original: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QagRwKrumQ)
Edward: The rule is no Ex's talk though, it just triggers-
Jervis, with anguish: AAAALLLIIIICCCE!
Edward: Just promise the evening won't end with me in the middle stroking both your heads while you cry about Sherry and Alice.
Jonathan, deadpan: I make no promises.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtEZYEnHpN8)
Joker: I don't fucking like you.
Jonathan: What?
Joker: I said I don't fucking like you.
Jonathan: You don't like me???
Joker: No.
*Jonathan tries to keep himself from laughing. It doesn't work. Joker just gives him a death glare.*
Jonathan, laughing: I'm sorry-!
Joker: ...
Jonathan: What? *Puts on a sad face* *It doesn't last.* *He's laughing again.*
Jonathan, still laughing: Bitch, I don't give a fuck-!
Edward: -We should probably stop staring before this gets creepy.
Jonathan: Too late.
*Jervis and Edward look over and see Jonathan on the other end of the table*
Jonathan: You two are losers.
Jervis: Well Then, why do you sit with us?
Jonathan: Because I don't have any friends.
Clark, lamenting the fact that he couldn’t go near the priest without getting sick to lois and wondering if he’s actually been possessed this entire time: Lois I Gifgifddfduicgvhhoj *existential sobbing*
The priest who collects shiny green rocks and puts them in his pockets: ooh shiny green rock, score!