Teacher: I think it’s a reasonable assumption that none of you have ever been shot.
Peter: Umm...
Teacher: Apparently I was wrong. Peter, what the fuck?
Peter: Hehe. Funny story. *jumps out the window*
Ned: Pfft- He’s out of here
Teacher: Do you know how he got shot?
Ned: Uh... *nyooms out the door*
Peter talking to a tired Thor: So what’s Loki to you?
Thor: The reason I get up in the morning...
Peter: Really?! That’s cool
What Heimdall watched happen:
Loki: Hey...
Brother
Thor: *continues snoring*
Loki: Blergh *stabs him*
I never sleep cause of you
Ned: How come humans don’t lick to show affection?
MJ: Lesbians do
Peter coughing after choking on his saliva: W-what?!
MJ: You heard me
Ned dying of laughter and with an accent: It is what it is
Thor flirting: How’s the most wonderful person in the nine realms doing this fine morning?
Loki from the next room: I’m doing fucking great!
Jane who was with Thor: I was gonna turn that back on you but...
Heimdall watching everything: *sighs* Loki spends too much time watching TV shows from Midgard.
Peter our as Spider-Man talking to a criminal: Where can I find a wheelchair?
Criminal who’s rant was interrupted: What? Why?
Peter: Cause I can’t stand bullshit
Clint stuck in a chair: You may be asking “Clint, how did this happen? How did you do this to yourself?”
Natasha laughing to the side: Well kids, Clint has no clue either. He’s just fucking dumb.
Natasha pulling out a knife: Now let’s help this poor man.
Clint: *Indiscernible screaming*
Loki: Apparently spite isn’t a good answer to what motivates you.
Loki summoning daggers:
Where is it?!
Thor frantically trying to calm him down:
Loki, wait!! You should treat spiders how you wish to be treated!
Loki:
Killed without hesitation!
Thor:
Not again! Please stop dying!
Peter: Do you care if I take the skin off this Furby?
Peter: I want to make him a God. Once he is free of his sinful flesh, he can begin a path towards enlightenment. He will take care of Us.
Peter: I also want to softhack his circuits.
Tony: I literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that ever again.
Well, this might be overly simplified, but yes, we Stan!!!
Fuck that, okay let’s say this, I wish I had someone like that to guide and take care of me in a way that’s not super overwhelming. Iron man has insane power over Peter but the fondness is what makes their relationship amazing. And noooo, it’s not romantic or anything like that it’s the most parental type. Peter Parker started as a lonely teen like a lot of people, and an icon like Iron man, turning into this friendship/mentor/paternal figure is the best thing that happened. Anyways, booo, for Marvel killing off a god, now Spider-Man has to carry the the universe on his back. Also high hopes for Loki!!!! (P.s why does everyone I like die, in literally any material I consume)
Peter: Thanks for the new suit Mr Stark! You’re the best thing to ever happen to me!
Tony: I’m the best thing that ever happened to you?
Peter: Yep!
Tony: I’m not gonna lie kid I’m starting to feel a little sorry for you