* the TLH Gang standing around Jesse's coffin *
Alastair: I am going to bury something that reminds me of the person that I used to be, that I don't want to be anymore.
* drags Charles to the coffin *
Thomas: Where do you want to be in five years, Alastair?
Alastair: *under his breath* Hopefully in your bed
Thomas: What was that?
Alastair: I sAid HoPEFULLY DEAD!
Charles: alastair is mine
Alastair: lol no
Alastair: Date me
Thomas: What?
Alastair: I said… mate with me
Thomas: Excuse me?
Alastair: I said-
Thomas: You hate me
Alastair: Yes, that
*At the end of Chain of Gold*
Tatiana: THIS DEMON’S SPAWN BURNED MY HOUSE TO THE GROUND!
Lucie: What is HAPPENING?
Thomas: James’ getting served
Christopher: But I haven’t even ordered yet
Inquisitor Bridgestock: ORDER
Christopher: Uh, yeah, a Cheeseburger please!
Belial: Hey! Wake up!
Matthew, sleepily: Huh?
Belial: I just murdered your whole entire family!
Matthew: But I live alone-
Belial: Huh- then who are those people in your house?
Matthew: There are people in mY HOUSE??
Belial: Well, not anymore, dumb bitch, you could’ve died, you’re welcome
Airport security: No liquids allowed
Matthew: oh, ok
Matthew: *starts gulping it down*
James: Uhh, Matthew, you don’t have to drink-
Matthew: *dedicated to finishing bottle*
Airport security: You know, usually people just leave the shampoo behind but what do I know…