Loneliness - Blog Posts
Feeling a little lost at the moment. I haven't been able to communicate for the longest time. I am very used to being by myself and not letting anyone in. But lately, I feel too lonely, like life is too monotonous without the hustle and bustle of people around. I want to connect with people, especially be able to talk to my existing friends itself. I know they won't be able to understand how I feel or relate to my problems and so I have kept it all to myself. In this way, I have become boring with absolutely nothing to say. I wonder how I should break out of this dullness in my life. Any tips on how to start?
Contacts
Contacts imply the willingness to show myself. Without contact to the people around me I would become even more lonely. Yes, I am actually dependent on it in difficult situations. As the mental pressure increases, help takes on a different meaning.
I've mastered the art of loosing myself!
I'm not sure if I know too much of the world or nothing at all. I'm crying along with the broken hearts yet I'm singing along with the birds. I always wonder who am I. Maybe I don't even want to know.
Everything was falling apart, Only loneliness was well lived.
My longing weeps for everything. My longing shoots back at me, to kill or to be killed.
-Mahmoud Darwish, Fewer Roses 1986
“Dying is an art,like everything else.
I do it exceptionally well.
I do it so it feels like hell.”
What is a candle turned wax?
It has one fixed shape,its life has been drained and it is useless.
Nevertheless I can’t help viewing it as an object which still has much to give.
Yes,it has completed it’s life’s task;
Thus,hasn’t it been freed from the burden of needing a purpose?
Shapeless,vacuous,mutilated,yet—
free
As I sit here,staring at a newly lit candle,I can’t help seeing my life being mirrored in the flame.
It is not burning,it’s living.
Somewhat pliable,though it still holds its shape.
Much like myself,really.
I can bend myself to my own will,yet I am subject to the still air that engulfs me.
Am I living my life,or is my life living me?
Devoid of purpose,I grasp at the slightest shift taking place in my life.
My life-long friend has come to check on me.
It has never once left me,only side-stepped so as to witness how I would fare with knowing him gone.
It will forever be bound to me,and I to him.
A life-long friendship bringing excruciating pain in my bones,in my flesh,a drought that cannot be recovered from.
I am yours,and you are mine.
I regret our meeting as much as I treasure it.
Am I offering you a worthy companionship?
Drifting apart and sitting on the sidelines may be a good change.
They always say we will value the most what we had but ended up losing,don’t they?
Let’s put a seal on our friendship,celebrating our reunion and promising for it to be the last in a long time.
"For in silence I find no rejection, I choose to love you in loneliness… For in loneliness no one owns you but me, I choose to adore you from a distance… For distance will shield me from pain, I choose to kiss you in the wind… For the wind is gentler than my lips, I choose to hold you in my dreams… For in my dreams, you have no end.”
-J. M. Rumi
Gif by me.
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5 Steps to Embracing Your Loneliness
Loneliness is something most people try to avoid. But being alone is an inevitable part of life. It happens to everyone at some time or another. It is important to be able to separate solitude from loneliness and to understand what is behind your feelings so you can embrace being alone.
1. Work Out the Root Cause of Your Fear of Loneliness Some scientists believe loneliness is a basic emotion on a par with fear and anger. For millions of years, survival relied on being part of a group; being alone was risky. But now, a fear of loneliness can keep us in toxic relationships, unfulfilling jobs, and bad marriages. Identify what’s behind your fear of loneliness, and you can start to work on it.
2. Learn to Understand your Loneliness Loneliness comes in many different guises. It can be temporary situational loneliness where you find yourself without company or help. Or you can be going through a life crisis that results in more extended social isolation. A relationship breakdown, losing your job, or being seriously ill can all make you feel completely cut off from love and support.
3. Appreciate Solitude Solitude is quite a different state from loneliness. Artists, philosophers, and writers over the centuries have sought out solitude to think deeply and widely and to create their best work. Solitude can be a comfort in an overcrowded life. When you are by yourself, you can expand into being your true self.
4. Confront your Deepest Fears Loneliness can be a product of the fundamental fear of separation that goes back to infancy. Separation means being vulnerable, having no one to rely on except yourself. This is the loneliness that realizes that in the end, there is nothing between you and the stars, no one to rescue you. That sort of existential fear can be scary. What are your deepest fears about being lonely? Identify them, acknowledge them, and take away some of their power over you.
5. Use Self-Actualizing Practices to Overcome Loneliness Techniques like yoga, tai chi, and meditation can help you reconnect with your deepest self. Sitting alone in meditation separates you from the negative thought spirals and feelings that can make you feel so miserable.
A loving-kindness meditation practice can help you replace feelings of separation with feelings of love and connection. Give it a try:
Sit quietly and focus on your breath.
Breathe in, think ‘May I be happy.’ Breathe out, think ‘May I be loved.’ Breathe in, think ‘May all my suffering be healed.’ Breathe out, think ‘May I be at peace.’
Eventually, repeat the mantra, thinking of people who may be lonely at this time, replacing ‘I’ with ‘you.’
Finish by sending positive thoughts to all beings and repeating ‘May all beings be happy. May all beings be loved. May the suffering of all beings be healed. May all beings be at peace.’
This simple practice helps you feel connected to all of life whenever you do it.
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Loneliness sometimes takes strange shapes I suppose, there is a kind that the fervently wants recorded in word or image every thought and deed, an underlying fear of being forgotten, afraid of never being truly known. Perhaps the feverish words scrawled in the middle of the night are just intended to be a reaffirmation of your existence, even though no one might read it.
