Meandmymind - Blog Posts
Oh dear. You're not well at all. Those closed eyes… So sad. And obvious. At least to me, as I guess you know. It's a fine mask, sunny and serene. But I know. I see the cracks oozing out fear and desperation. Loss of senses. Just lost. Don't worry. It's me: I will fix you. Save you from all those haunting moments. That tears apart what's left of your mind. I can hear the scratching and crackling in your sore skull. Mirror-like, confined horrors twisting and turning, trying to break you. Shooting sizzling darts at your dissolving horizon. A disease eating moment by moment, until you're left with useless time, locking up yourself in fear of yourself… I'll fix you! You won't feel a thing. Make your mask your mind, just while… Slide out under any persistent moment; go for the sky I'm building, it's safe, trust me! … Right. See now. No, no, not with your eyes. Keep them shut, that's part of the deal. A fair one! Now you can dream. I gave you time! For a dream or two. Go on. Dream away. All the way. (Long version in danish at: https://mantelshistorier.wordpress.com ) #mantelmomento #danielmantel #mantelshistorier #udenfilter #choices #mind #badchoices #prose #fiction #realitybites #anofferyoucantrefuse #meandmymind #dreamaway #dontlistentothoseofferingyoutimeanddreamsinsteadofmomentsorthatsatleastmyexperience (Usual one-off hashtag...) (her: Inside .) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqUpSX_HXQ7/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1lmwbuthv2qqf
THOSE INSISTING STORIES. And so the stories forced their way back. Not readable, not even as individual or separated tales. Not narratives. Yet. For very good reasons: I've tried to keep them out of my head. Reality had pushed aside fiction. I had told myself, trying to be serious. Yeah right. As if… Only fooling myself. This gave me a new insight. Don't know if I dream in colours. But my stories start out in all of the rainbows. Plus some. Fills my head, not even really born, but in random patterns. That of course aren't random at all. Changing for every time they block my view to reality. Thus making me doubt what's real and what's fiction, but then I just shrug: Back to the usual mindset. The stories are as real as any kind of reality. Now I know how they appear before they are conscious. Before they know themselves. Guess I better help them. Guess that's my purpose. Being the midwife of my own imagination. Forming my fiction. #mantelmoment #mantelmomento #danielmantel #danielversionII #fiction #stories #backoninstagram #toomuchreality #brainwork #pattern #colours #fictionoverreality #isthisme #question #answer #meandmymind #icanlivewiththat #afteralotofoftoomuchrealityitsactuallyarelieftoseethestoriesbeginningtoforminsidemybrain (Usual one-off hashtag) (her: Fix My Brain) https://www.instagram.com/p/BpB5g3DHgRn/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=14gmgtp1zb9hm
I see myself from the back. From inside the restaurant. I'm alive and happy. That means I took the hard way in. Not the easy way out. For some time I wasn't sure. That time is now. Seeing a picture of myself in the near future, free and letting time be time, not allowing thoughts to interfere or take control, and giving my mind access to whatever words is worth writing, not by any assignment or deadline, and... There's really nothing else to say. I had a choice. The tempting easy way out; just caving in. Or the hard way in; a maze with almost impossible obstacles the way out. It's still ahead of me. But seeing myself from the back, tells me everything. No matter what I must do to be there. Again. Happy and free. Being me. Just me, only me. #mantelmomento #danielmantel #udenfilter #laurieandthestoryof (At least geographically...) #me #hardway #being #meandmystory #meandmymind #lisbon #wayin #portugal #home #aperiodintimewithsomeharddifficultiesofdifferentkindslowlyturningsotheeasywaybecomeslessattractiveandthewayinopensup (Usual one-off hashtag) (her: Lisbon, Portugal)
I see myself from the back. From inside the restaurant. I'm alive and happy. That means I took the hard way in. Not the easy way out. For some time I wasn't sure. That time is now. Seeing a picture of myself in the near future, free and letting time be time, not allowing thoughts to interfere or take control, and giving my mind access to whatever words is worth writing, not by any assignment or deadline, and... There's really nothing else to say. I had a choice. The tempting easy way out; just caving in. Or the hard way in; a maze with almost impossible obstacles the way out. It's still ahead of me. But seeing myself from the back, tells me everything. No matter what I must do to be there. Again. Happy and free. Being me. Just me, only me. #mantelmomento #danielmantel #udenfilter #laurieandthestoryof (At least geographically...) #me #hardway #being #meandmystory #meandmymind #lisbon #wayin #portugal #home #aperiodintimewithsomeharddifficultiesofdifferentkindslowlyturningsotheeasywaybecomeslessattractiveandthewayinopensup (Usual one-off hashtag) (her: Lisbon, Portugal)
I see myself from the back. From inside the restaurant. I'm alive and happy. That means I took the hard way in. Not the easy way out. For some time I wasn't sure. That time is now. Seeing a picture of myself in the near future, free and letting time be time, not allowing thoughts to interfere or take control, and giving my mind access to whatever words is worth writing, not by any assignment or deadline, and... There's really nothing else to say. I had a choice. The tempting easy way out; just caving in. Or the hard way in; a maze with almost impossible obstacles the way out. It's still ahead of me. But seeing myself from the back, tells me everything. No matter what I must do to be there. Again. Happy and free. Being me. Just me, only me. #mantelmomento #danielmantel #udenfilter #laurieandthestoryof (At least geographically...) #me #hardway #being #meandmystory #meandmymind #lisbon #wayin #portugal #home #aperiodintimewithsomeharddifficultiesofdifferentkindslowlyturningsotheeasywaybecomeslessattractiveandthewayinopensup (Usual one-off hashtag) (her: Lisbon, Portugal)
I see myself from the back. From inside the restaurant. I'm alive and happy. That means I took the hard way in. Not the easy way out. For some time I wasn't sure. That time is now. Seeing a picture of myself in the near future, free and letting time be time, not allowing thoughts to interfere or take control, and giving my mind access to whatever words is worth writing, not by any assignment or deadline, and... There's really nothing else to say. I had a choice. The tempting easy way out; just caving in. Or the hard way in; a maze with almost impossible obstacles the way out. It's still ahead of me. But seeing myself from the back, tells me everything. No matter what I must do to be there. Again. Happy and free. Being me. Just me, only me. #mantelmomento #danielmantel #udenfilter #laurieandthestoryof (At least geographically...) #me #hardway #being #meandmystory #meandmymind #lisbon #wayin #portugal #home #aperiodintimewithsomeharddifficultiesofdifferentkindslowlyturningsotheeasywaybecomeslessattractiveandthewayinopensup (Usual one-off hashtag) (her: Lisbon, Portugal)
I see myself from the back. From inside the restaurant. I'm alive and happy. That means I took the hard way in. Not the easy way out. For some time I wasn't sure. That time is now. Seeing a picture of myself in the near future, free and letting time be time, not allowing thoughts to interfere or take control, and giving my mind access to whatever words is worth writing, not by any assignment or deadline, and... There's really nothing else to say. I had a choice. The tempting easy way out; just caving in. Or the hard way in; a maze with almost impossible obstacles the way out. It's still ahead of me. But seeing myself from the back, tells me everything. No matter what I must do to be there. Again. Happy and free. Being me. Just me, only me. #mantelmomento #danielmantel #udenfilter #laurieandthestoryof (At least geographically...) #me #hardway #being #meandmystory #meandmymind #lisbon #wayin #portugal #home #aperiodintimewithsomeharddifficultiesofdifferentkindslowlyturningsotheeasywaybecomeslessattractiveandthewayinopensup (Usual one-off hashtag) (her: Lisbon, Portugal)
Oh no, not again. Annoying! It still takes him by surprise. And gets harder, almost making him wonder if it's worth it. Dragging his barefooted soul up. Again. But if he doesn't, his soul will freeze and might wander off, find a random pair of shoes, no matter how he'll then look and be looked upon. Not that he cares much, and less for each time. With a tired sigh he starts. Only three steps, but each one making the soles of his feet bleed. Why is it so important? To stand on top of something, pretending to be at the top of something. United body and soul; a fictional construction anyway. Just looking the part. And to be able to overlook whatever: He lost interest in that whatever many steps ago. But, and with boredom, he, his soul and bare feet, will get there. Out of breath, he'll squeeze into those shoes. And will again be firmly rooted. Unable to move, but an example of achievement. He's quite disgusted with himself. Careful! That could make him misjudge, stumble, slip... He really can't cope with just one additional step. But he'll get there. And the shoes might not be too uncomfortable: He'll fit the expected posture. Again. #mantelmomento #danielmantel #udenfilter (As always, somehow:) #laurieandthestoryof & #primeiroproximopasso #steps #shoes #reality #fiction #postures #soul #fuckedup #tired #pretending #iftheshoefits #stupidity #meandmymind #ladder #seeingthrough #sotiredofthewaysinthecirclesimovearoundinandtheeverongoingattempttobethenewestofthenewestorsomethingonthetopoftherankingthateveryonedeniesexistbutisafactsoobviousthatitsalmostfunny (Usual one-off hashtag...) (her: 22below)
One of those pictures you can't take... But still just amazed by what a difference yellow (portuguese) streetlight makes compared to (danish) white... Guess I'm still stunned by the "tranquilidade" and "calme" this beautiful town makes... Guess this photo isn't worth much on Instagram, but for me, personally, it means everything. Repeat: EVERYTHING! #castelodevide #flamingobar #wayoflife #portuguese #light #writingplace #portugal #meandmymind #novel #ready #homeiswheretheheartis #myworld #writing #novel #myworld #mindspace #laurieandthestoryof (Is more and more with me...) #lifestyles #whyifeelquitesurethatmybigtimenovelwillnotonlysurvivethenexttwoweeksbutalsowillfollowmebacktodenmarkidontknowbutthistimeiamreallysure (Usual one-off hashtag...) #udenfilter #mantelmomento #danielmantel (her: Flamingo Bar)