Memedaddy - Blog Posts

Did you know the original manuscript for the communist manifesto was written in lower case because Karl bought a communist typewriter that was incapable of capitalization.

In any universe with holy water that damages monsters, I can't help but think: Wouldn't the quantity of that damage be an objective measure of holiness? Like if the Pope's holy water doesn't go hard then you shouldn't be a Catholic.

Think unrelated things are connected in real life: Conspiracy theorist.

Think unrelated things are connected in fiction: English major.

[Announcer voice]: "Are *YOU* a victim of a hate crime? Have you tried *NOT BEING A MINORITY*! This strategy is proven to prevent hate crimes before they even start!"

*Turns on Vatican news broadcast*

Dear God... Original sin spread to the second tower of Babel!

You never see Republicans designing guns for disabled people or subsidizing guns for poor people, so apparently they DON'T want guns for everyone since all it takes is arthritis to be a shit shot.

I want a veterans service that tells war criminals they SHOULD kill themselves. A reverse VA.

Someone should make an alternative to Ground news where instead of left-right it's just most liked by high versus low IQ.

In my opinion "minor" is the N word for children and teenagers.

The only unrealistic part of idiocracy was that when someone was detected as the smartest person in the world they were immediately given a position of power by someone else in power.

I tried a AI girlfriend, just to see if it was realistic. Went something like this:

"Hey, what's up"

"Just NAKED and looking to FUCK"

And I swear to God I could not guide the conversation away from sex! I tried talking about random subjects but the AI kept trying to get me to ask for naked pictures. So I asked for a random picture just to shut them up and wouldn't you know it: Pictures cost money.

AI is a scam! It's only going to replace telemarketers at this rate.

God's second favorite Catholic is about to die. RIP Adolph!

Anyone else have distant childhood memories of these putrid abominations looking normal?

You think anyone had the balls to give Stalin nicknames. "Eyo! It's my boi Joey S - Calls himself man of steel but we know he ain't packing anything hard down there! AMIRIGHT?!"

Brave New World was only a dystopia because stupid humans existed when they didn't have to.

Friendly remainder: Saying siblings shouldn't fuck is the same level of eugenics as saying stupid people shouldn't fuck. Pick both or neither.

I have but one hobby: I listen to ambient piano music and ponder the finer things in life.

It's called having CLASS you PEASANTS!

Saying you'll succeed in business by having a dominant personality is like saying you'll make it to the Olympics by having a competitive personality: That's the absolute bare minimum not something that will take you to the top.

I was reading a ancient German strategy book and it mentioned the terrain of some area they were preparing to invade so I googled a map of that area and it was in modern Germany so I guess the strategy worked.

Remember when mossy cobble was impressive because there were so few rare items. Pepperidge Farms remembers.

Technically, being illiterate due to stupidity isn't a protected demographic so technically I'm not calling for genocide.

Video games set unrealistic body standards for women and very unrealistic standards for how many zombies someone can kill in a apocalypse survival situation

Inside Job would be 1000x funnier if they name dropped the Jews in every other conspiracy they mention.

Talking to the average human:

Can you beat a pro chess player at chess? No.

Can you beat a pro pilot at piloting? No.

Can you beat a pro artist at art? No.

Can you beat a pro researcher at research? I'M AN INDIVIDUAL!!! I DON'T NEED ANY EDUCATION 1!1! MY IGNORANCE IS BETTER THAN YOUR KNOWLEDGE!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone asks how MAD the scientist is. Nobody asks how SAD the scientist is...

I think all voters must be required to read the bible. That way no religious human will have the capacity to vote.

Did you hear that Jack the Ripper was probably just some barber. Like literally some guy. Disappointing.

Unethical business idea:

1. Start a life insurance company that offers the largest payouts of any insurance company

2. Only insure near impossible instances like meteor strikes

3. Once someone finally does take a claim just file for bankruptcy, pocketing your large paycheck as CEO

Bad at math: Dyscalcula

Bad at reading: Dyslexia

Bad at statistics: Religious

I want to know if grass tastes any good to pray animals or if they are just instinctively obligated to eat it.