Memories - Blog Posts
Allein im Bett, Dunkel
“Es ist dunkel hier
Ich lieg mit meinen Gedanken wieder allein im Bett um zwanzig nach vier
Ich hab angst dass ich dich nochmals verlier
Deshalb schreib ich meine Gedanken doch lieber auf papier
Und behalt sie dicht bei mir.
Betäub innere leere mit Bier
Es ist Für mich Sowas wie ein Besser-fühl elixier.
Nunja meine gedanken drehen sich fast nur um dich
Denn du bist für mich, immer noch Unglaublich.
Ich bin, wenn zwar auch ohne dich, ziemlich glücklich,
Irgendwie unerdenklich.
Ich weiss,
Alles hat seinen preis.
Auch ein verlust,
Denn dadurch wurde mir bewusst
Wie wichtig du mir eigentlich bist.
Nach langer Zeit
Und unendlichkeit von leid.
Mein Herz schreit
Und somit weiss ich, es ist noch nicht ganz geheilt
Nimms mir bitte nicht böse
Fäbulöse (kleineswortspielfürmichhihi).
Was ist wenn ich mich nicht löse?
Wenn ich es (noch) nicht kann
Es mir bisher einfach nicht gelang.
Vielleicht sieht man(n) es mir an, vielleicht auch nicht,
Deshalb schreib ich nochmals ein Gedicht.
Und denk dabei an dein Gesicht.
Denk an unsere gemeinsame Geschicht.
daran als ich dich das erste mal sah
Urplötzlich standen wir uns so nah
Doch das war,
ist nicht mehr.
Ich vermisse dich sehr
Ich vermisse mich
Uns
Mein grösster Wunsch.”
Merry Christmas to everyone related! ✨✨✨ Good memories are the best ornaments for this crazy year, hope you have plenty of them #merrychristmas #goodbyerobin #xmas #xmastree #star #festivemood #memories #anime #illustration #kawaii https://www.instagram.com/p/CJL9-Pmjd7q/?igshid=11ragek8ygith
Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart.
— Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore
All that I could not say
The dense fog
And your first sight
Almost a yard in my right
I stumbled against you
Just kneeling down
You gave me your hand
And my heart gone band.
Inside the class
I was just in for you
That was the day
When I found
Others say
I lost my way.
In every movie
I have assumed you
My partner
I made cards for you
Never dared to give you
You were always with me
When I was roaming around the school ground.
I have written those three magical words for you.
And one day I dare put my letter inside your bag.
And next day
I was called in principal office.
I couldn't figure out
What I have done
I saw your father with that paper
She asked did you write it
I accepted and
Got canes on my both hands.
Said sorry
Came back to class and your smiling face was enough.
I keep noticing your smile,
Walk, the way you talk and your style
I remained in conversation with you
Volumes can be written on those silent conversation between me and you
That was even without you.
Very soon we passed out from school
My friends teased me and said you were biggest fool.
Why you wrote your name on letter?
I said then for what else I wrote the letter.
Still I have goosebumps
While writing all these.
I don't know what was that...
It was nice .....
Budapest
I'm walking down your streets.
Trying to remember everything I saw,
So I don't forget.
Feeling your spirit - past, present and future.
As I see my reflection in the Danube,
My heart beats in sync with it.
Seeing the happiness in the eyes
Of your people.
Trying to count all of your bridges
Connecting the two halfs
And making them one.
Looking down from the Fisherman's bastion
On your sunlit soul
And blue sky above you.
Running down the yards behind the Buda castle,
Thinking about people of the past.
Heroes square radiates bravery and freedom,
Awakening the daring nerve inside of me.
I haven't seen you in a while, my friend.
But I still remember the time we've spent together;
Pictures of you are still vivid in my memory -
A part of my soul will always be there, with you.
@darkblackpoet, 2nd December '20
Room of Memories
In that corner of the room
Behind the curtains of that room
Lives a small part of me
Lives a younger me.
The infant that I once was
The infant that became me
Resides in this room
As memories of sorrow and glee.
Every tear that stained
Every smile that was made
Resides in this room
Where i joyfully played.
I remember only
Two spent days
One where I left for greed
And one where the child in me stays.
The instant I left
The comforts of this room
The adult in me selfishly rejoiced
While my younger self drowned in doom.
The day i returned
Was a day of discovery
Of not the new
But the old, joyous younger me.
This T shirt is very dear to me. It is a present from my unkle Radmilo, who is one of my favourite people on earth. And the anchor is the symbol of the neighbourhood I live in here in sunny London, Deptford. A symbol of the maritime hystory and identity of this vibrant slice of London Town where I choose to live and of my connection to my native land and beloved family.
The treasure of lifelong friendships
Pietro and I have been lifelong friends. We've known each other since the age of 7. We have gone from a decision made on a bench on an italian small town lakeshore, at age 12, to make rap music together, all the way to London, 2 decades later, doing radio shows on @AajaDeptford.
In between we had a life of memories and conversations and music and adventures.
It is good to pause and celebrate a relationship like this. May we have a 100 more years of friendship and music and may both of us forge many other strong friendships and relationships with many other amazing people.
May we live a life of Magic, Adventure, Poetry and filled with Stories, Play and Meaning, blessed with Love, Freedom and Respect and may we rock on in a beautiful Natural Overflowy fashion.
Big Love Y'all
Kajo
Fade
As I scroll through pictures of
My past, I wonder
How many moments have faded into
Oblivion,
With no formal record to remind me.
I used to keep receipts
From good times spent
Before everything was so
Well-documented.
My family would tease
For the habit I'd picked up
Somewhere
While I reminisced
That trip to a fast-food restaurant.
I still keep mementos
No one else would understand,
A piece of ribbon, confetti, a
Dried-out rose,
Unable to let go
Of the memories,
The people that have left my life
Where only scraps remain.
In Search of Lost Time
That madeleine moment,
Dunked in tea.
Precious fragments
Of the past,
Involuntary, unbidden,
Brought on by a certain, specific smell,
Triggering chains
(autobiographical)
Temporal, traumatic.
Recurrent research reactivates
To elicit positive emotional effects.
The bibliophile in the library,
Evoking borrowed memories.
Did any one else have way to much confidence in them self as a kid. Like I remember when I was like six I would walk around and look at fully grown adults and just think “ yeah I could probably take them in a fight.” But It didn’t stop there I would think about like how I would fight them and just stare at them and think about it
Et utaknemmeligt træ. Det er ikke det mindste trist. Det amputerede træ har det fint. Det garanterer motorsavene, og de kan ikke tage fejl. Træet selv er måske lidt i tvivl. Men det husker ikke så godt, lidt pludseligt, det er kun de inderste og ældste år der er tilbage. Den nyere hukommelse, den med grene og blade, ligger i en filtret bunke. Og det er ikke spild. Det kan bruges som brænde. Træet er lidt forvirret over, at dets erindringer skal gå op i flammer. Godtnok kun de seneste år, men alligevel. Det er dog en hel del år der sådan er skåret væk. Men motorsave véd hvad de gør, træet kan være ganske rolig. Små nye stiklinger vil komme, og nyde godt af den rensede fortid. En frisk begyndelse kræver en beskæring, væk med det gamle. Det véd mennesker også. Det er slet ikke trist. De døde år er fjernet imorgen. Så er der er ikke flere problemer med at huske. Træet burde strengt taget udvise lidt taknemmelighed. Men sådan er det med den slags der påstår at være levende. Minder og erindringer dukker op igen og igen, som ukrudt eller vrangvoksende vildskud. Det er altid noget kludder, når tiden blandes med følelser og tanker fra før. Se bare hvor effektivt motorsave klarer sig uden. Træet fatter det ikke, men savenes fræsen og hurtige hakken gennem ringe af år, er faktisk en stor gave. Også til træet. Men det står bare der, kan ikke engang pille sig i barken. Det prøver at huske sig selv med hovede og arme. Og hvordan dét var. Det sukker lidt i den top der ikke er der, og knager med de manglende grene. Altså! Sådan et træ er egentlig ret egoistisk. Motorsave har også været små og kan da gå i stykker. Det er overhovedet ikke noget de tænker over. Hvem har set en trist motorsav? De har ikke brug for minder og erindringer. Den slags gør ingen nytte, det er kun savsmuld. Træet burde være glad for miste hovedet! At være trist er misbrug af tid. Det er jo kun gammelt brugt ragelse, ligegyldige år der bare skal skæres væk. Det er de så heldigvis blevet. Træet kan knap huske hvorfor det måske var trist. Godt! #mantelmomento #danielmantel #tree #memories #lifeanddeath #remember #rip #fiktion #prosa #endings #gellerup #treesarepeopletoo #symbolic #sh*t! (Usual one-off...) (her: Now Here Nowhere) https://www.instagram.com/p/CLgalOGhOHl/?igshid=1uyvl6g7jwkek
Something I think about a lot is how as a kid, I picked a bunch of wildflowers for my mom.
I didn’t know what they were, just that they were tall and dainty, and pretty, not to mention they were everywhere.
I knew when I was little that something was very wrong between her and my dad, but seeing me come in, with random bits of dirt on my face (and somehow in my ears too) and all over my hands seemed to make her light up for a moment. She’d even scold me a little when I would bring in a bushel so thick our usual vases and glasses wouldn’t fit them. Even in spite of me picking the yard of our house clean of flowers, those dainty purple stalks would pop back up within weeks like I hadn’t just overharvested what me and my parents thought at the time were random lawn weeds.
Now that I’m older and a bit wiser (and don’t cause a wake of biological destruction in my path), and I know what was actually happening in that house, I think it’s funny. Especially since I’m really fond of flowers and floriography.
I was giving her blue toadflax. That especially looking back on it now is painfully ironic. It’s not a typical bouquet flower, but it does have a meaning.
It’s been a long while since I found the site that listed one of its meanings, but it symbolizes protection, and was said to ward off curses and hexes, or even land stewardship. Others said it symbolized joy and vitality. Emphasis on the protective aspect, and it being a stubborn, determined pioneer plant- you can probably argue resilience too.
I was giving her a fucking protection charm and neither her nor I even knew it. Not until I was like fifteen and saw the flowers again and was like “hmm I wonder what these mean, I used to give them to my mom all the time.”
Damn it if the universe ain’t a petty poetic bitch then what is it even?
Northern lights over the Swedish Lapland.
(Soothing background music ♪♪)
Get To Know Me Better: Last/Current
Tagged: @the-ever-chaos-collective (Thank you~ ☺️ 💞💕)
Last song: Gesaffelstein - OPR I’ve been obsessed with this one ever since I heard the experience of listening to it described as “exactly what it feels like to drive to 7-Eleven for cigarettes and gas at, like, 3:30 in the morning when you have clinical anxiety” lmao... Is it? I wouldn’t know. But it IS a Certified Banger™ imho. 😩👏
Last movie: White Palace What can I say? I have a weakness for 90′s James Spader romances. 😏
Currently watching: Northern Exposure Speaking of my 90′s-era weaknesses.
Currently reading: Dragon Age: Asunder by David Gaider. I’m working my way back and forth between the novels and the lorebooks in a roundabout attempt to make them last me the winter.
Currently craving: A slice of homemade Earl grey cake, from this recipe specifically. Luckily my partner’s mother’s birthday is in about a week, so I have a good excuse to make it soon. 😌👌 🍰 (If you want my advice, though, do not attempt the accompanying honey buttercream frosting. It melts at room temperature, which I learned—you guessed it—the hard way. Go with something sturdier like this instead.)
Tagging: @5lazarus @proudofmyanger @jellydishes @levikra @jarakrisafis (But only if you’d like~ 🎼📖🎞️✨)
What do you do when your head is the most dangerous place to be in, isolated, but that's where you feel the safest ?
- Hedera Helix
If u find a girl who looks at u like Camila looks at Lauren, u're a lucky person.
Don't let her go, keep her in ur life.
In the circumstances in which they were, it was not possible to stay in each other's lives.
What if they met another way? Maybe at one of their favorite places, in a coffee shop, on the street, at the mall..
What would they be now?
Taken by the wind’s sweet pressure on my face, I am swept to the little church on the hill. Sugar atomized in the air; footsteps bringing life to the silent cedar floorboards, nothing felt simpler than there. My eyes are sealed as I soak in the feeling, finding a smile in the blustery darkness.
I am fickle with happiness. They say you don’t know a good memory is happening until it ends, but I do. I’m acutely aware of how precious the good times are—pair that with the odd feeling I get of being watched by my future self, having dealt with the deaths and tragedies that growing older brings, seeking refuge in the past. I feel anxious knowing it will be over, and that no matter how deeply and fully I cherish the strong legs beneath me, the wind on my face, my parents by my sides, it will end the same. All happinesses are doomed to be memories. And that bitters them for me; when I am at my happiest, and my smile is wide as it is earnest, I still taste the rancor in the back of my throat.
🚩Looking for friend!!
Hey there! I hope you're having a great day. Which I hope I'll have soon. The reason I'm writing this post now is because I am looking for a friend. I'm sick of waiting for a miracle, hoping that my friend will surely appear in front of me and we'll have the great time of my time. I'm tried of spending my time alone with no one beside me to create memories or share the memories with me, to laugh with me and to be there when I am having a hard time. I no more want to be jealous of other who have friends, who go together everywhere there are going, or eat together or celebrate each other's birthdays together. Thus, here I am looking for a friend. At least an online friend. Below are about me:
Name: Loweena
Nationality: Malaysian
Age:21
Zodiac: Capricorn
Characteristics: Willing to change myself, as long as you stay as my friend. I just need a friend. Anyone. From anywhere. From any age. It doesn't matter. I can be your friend.
SLIDE TO DM IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN BECOMING MY FRIEND.
Colour Run KMM 2019
I played with colour powder today for the first time. Today my college is celebrating its 20th anniversary. So due to that we had many activies and many people including alumni, people from nearby housing area, parents and many more came to our college today. We had food stalls and other activities. Colour run was one of it. Firstly in the morning we ran around the college in the college compound. Then after that the winners were announced. First 150 students won the medal. Then started the most important moment. It's none other than colour fight. Evryone started targeting their friends and throw colour powder towards them. The field was full of colours flying in the air. We all were wearing a white shirt provided so it made the colour clearly visible and added more fun to it. Some were chasing their friends to throw colour on them while the other were throwing colours on their friends' faces and shirt.
I threw the powder high in the sky. And it fell back on me again. That made me so happy. I was surrounds by colours. For some reason my heart felt that happines. My friends threw colour powder on me and i also threw back at them. Since i wear spectacle, my spec all got colour. 😔🤭 But it was still fun though. This is my first time playing colour powder. Indians used to celebrate this as holy but since its rarely celebrated in my country i have never celebrated or played with it before. So i was double excited. But one weird thing is my colour powders didnt finish at all. It was like a magic packet. I kept using the colour powder in it but still i had some left. So in the end i had to give my colour powder to friends and asked them to finish it. It's weird right. I was super excited today. I even jumped in the air to express my happiness. I also took alot of pictures as memories. With my friends and without my friends too.
The only thing that worried me was i didnt had enough friends. I only had 3 of them to play colour powder with me. It would have been best if i had many friends. And that's how your supposed to enjoy this game too. That's the only thing i wasnt satisfied about. But yet I enjoyed myself. My first experience of playing with colour powder turned into one of my beautiful memory. And one of the bucket list is ticked off.
Here's a picture taken before the run. My shirt was as white as a paper.
And here the picture after the run (ft. Nysaa and Nad)
This is me with my classmate. Actually there were some more of them but couldnt find them all at that time. So we just took it with whom were there. Haha
Honestly I had a lot of fun today even though i didnt had many people to share the fun with me. I shared the joy with those who are genuinely happy to share the fun with me. I want to have more days like this in future. And I wanted to shared that joy with many more people. Hopefully it'll happen soon.
Anyways thank you KMM for organizing such a great event today and giving us opportunity to make great memories with loved ones.
And yeah Happy 20th Anniversary KMM 🥳🥳 Thank you for the life lessons you're teaching me. Even though you are lack in some ways and give me hard times sometime I'll take it as a way to improve myself as a person. And I'll make sure to make you proud too. Just like how your previous students (alumni) did. Thank you and I love you 😘💕
P.S : I'm writing this right after came back from the colour run. I havent took my bath yet. Then only i'll see the colour river flowing in my bathroom 🤭😂😂.
Atleast for a day, atleast try to go out escape from those four walls and see what's happening outside. There's a beautiful world out there.
Raya celebration at KMM 💃💃
I won't say that I'm happy with your decision. I will also never say that I hate you for the decision you made. Because I believe you know your life and your dream so well than me or than anyone else. I believe that you know what you are doing and you are doing it for yourself. For yourself only.
All I want to say is I may not be happy with your decision but I will always support and cheer for you in your life. Because you are one of them who made me laugh when I don't even wanted to smile. The jokes of yours that made me laugh, the lessons I learnt from you, the time I spent with you and the memories we made together I will never ever forget them in my life. There were sometimes I wish it could be great if I too have the same attitude like you. But during those times you proved me that there can be only one like you. That's the reason why you were loved, being loved and will be loved by a lots of people.
As a friend and as a well wisher i would like to wish all the very best for your future endeavors. Be yourself and dont worry about what other might think. No matter how hard it gets, be brave and face it. I hope you'll always remember me like i remember you. All the best and I'm surely gonna miss you. Lots of love from me 💕💐
Hwaiting with your new life. Begin the new chapter of your life with a smile... oops! with a laugh on your face like you always do. Love you 😘