“narcissist” - Blog Posts
Narcissistic Trait Lists: A Dangerous Corner of the Web Breakdown Post
In my recent article about narcissistic trait lists, there was a demonstration of a tool that I find handy when trying to filter overly narcissistic people from those who are less damaging to my life, and the lives of others.
This tool is something that I call The Skeleton, which put simply, describes the basic framework in which the vast majority narcissistic of people operate, based on my own observations.
Parts of the skeleton have deeper meanings and interconnections that I said that I would write about, so here it is, my narcissistic Skeleton breakdown post.
Intense Staring
Unless they have been the victim of serious abuse and are not yet repaired, almost everybody has some sort of psychological Personal Boundary in place. This is even so for those who are particularly vulnerable, although that boundary is often not swiftly recognised as something that is being violated when it is. Intense staring is the eye on the target, looking for what those boundaries may be and in creepier but true terms, is the activity of the obsessive, early Reptilian Brain nature of the person in question out on display.
The Triune Brain model explains things a little more, and is handy to know about for a basic understanding of diverse human behaviour, not just in history but also where we are now.
Inferiority and Superiority Imbalance
Superiority is Inferiority in disguise. If someone is cutting about as the be all and end all of a situation and it is not just tied to a genuine job role or achievement, then you have a guaranteed picture of the persons inner reality which is an exceptionally low self esteem. Super painful feelings of absolute inferiority spring from continual low self esteem states, which is the breeding ground for superiority, the fake, deluded self that is created in order to get by.
Lies and Dishonesty
Lies and Dishonesty section can be attributed to delusion. Pathological Liar can be mentioned here, a term also known as Mythomania. The firm belief in one’s own lies point to a kind of self hypnosis, otherwise known as delusion, and when reality does not match up with held delusions, Stupified Eye Response and Facial Expression are the common, transient, yet often repetitive result.
Unreciprocated Use of People
Narcissists only give when it suits them, and in many cases the giving will be unbalanced and played on as a more sentimental act rather than any healthy, truly valuable or balanced way of giving. You can bet your whole ass that any sort of giving done by the narcissistic person will absolutely be conditional or on a give to receive basis, and the condition will become apparent if remaining in quiet awareness about this.
There is a saying out there which I have found to be both the tool of people who mean well and think that they are saying the “right” thing, and a tool of the narcissist, which is: “If you are looking for it you will find it”. Well guess what fuckers, I am looking for it, and if I find it, you can skedaddle.
Stupified Eye Response and Facial Expression
The main highlight of this feature is easily explained by psychology, and if you click through the link you will find out what Cognitive Dissonance is. Skip back to the original issue under Lies and Dishonesty and you may be able to connect the dots and figure this one out for yourself. What cognitive dissonance does is expose one’s utter delusion of themselves, to themselves, creating the look of stupification that some of us know all too well.
Well that’s it, that is the final breakdown of my personal Skeleton tool, a diagnostic tool that I created for myself that others may find helpful too. If you have any questions about it feel free to ask.
I have been dealing with, observing, listening to, and navigating narcissistic and psychopathic persons for almost my entire life. This is part of the result, and I give thanks every one of them for their valuable input.
Stay brilliant :)
© Monday 14th Feb 2022
Narcissistic Trait lists: A Dangerous Corner of the Web.
The popularity of narcissistic traits on the web looks like it is at it’s peak right now, comments all over sites like Quora and Reddit, forums, websites and even Twitter “specialists” are everywhere, but not all of the information given is accurate. Although some information is completely valid for an experiencer of narcissistic abuse who is writing of exactly that, their own experience, some people are just there to suck up a loyal following who will pay them for advice, follow them on social media, and provide them with the public likes, re-tweets, and adulation that they need. Notice anything here?
Narcissistic behaviour is not something that can be diagnosed by the general public, in fact, it should never be so, but spotting a narcissist is a great way to keep ourselves safe from their careless behaviour, so what is the work around? How can we, as individuals, not get caught up in the programmed behaviour that is being set out by people posting information that may not apply to all, whilst also keeping ourselves safe from unnecessary crap?
There are a few basic things about narcissistic behaviour that can be pointed out as fact for many of them, although these will be interchangeable, and and entire context should be applied for the individual in question. Additionally, nobody can escape the fact that many narcissists do scour information on the web to train themselves into known passive, submissive, readily acceptable, or caring body language and behaviours, but be assured that this is not to self improve their own narcissism and become more compassionate towards others, it is just another way for the narcissistic person to net people in and “take them for fools” - that’s their words not mine by the way heh.
If you, the reader, have had trouble with many narcissists before, you will be a little more equipped because it is likely that you may have noticed some narcissistic patterns or other repeating across the board already. I have noticed some in my own experiences, which is why I can post you the following short few things which I call a The Skeleton. I call it The Skeleton because this is the framework that the narcissist is operating on in basic terms across the board, and it is where many of their further behaviours spring from. Noticing a skeleton has helped me get to the real reasons for a persons woes on many occasion, so here goes.. but remember, not everybody who does one of these things is narcissistic, there is always a wider context and individuality that must be taken into account.
Intense Staring
Narcissists do this, but in a way that is bare faced odd. It will be uncomfortable for you, and strange. This is because you are two things; prey, and someone that they are trying to work out so that they can get in.
Inferiority and Superiority Imbalance
Either one will be out on display, although usually it is superiority. Superiority is an attempt to cover the painfully inferior feeling person beneath, although if you are seasoned you may see the inferiority first.
Lies and Dishonesty
Lies will be obvious, repeated, and quite courageous.. too courageous in fact, as if they even believe in what they are saying themselves. Dishonesty and lies will occur in just about anything, although it usually always serves a narcissists self protection, greater plot, or protecting such a plot from being exposed.
Unreciprocated Use of People
Narcissists must find a beneficial use for each person, or else they are useless and to be discarded. This is wildly different from a healthy relationship where people get their needs met because narcissists are in for what they can get alone and get nothing from reciprocating, unless it is still early days and they are trying to win you over.
Stupified Eye Response and Facial Expression
If you catch it, there will be times where the narcissist (and also a psychopath whilst we’re here) will have a look on their face that looks like they have just had a few swift blows to the head with a baseball bat. It usually occurs when they are incensed about something, which more is often that their current plot is not working out or has not worked out entirely.
So that’s The Skeleton from my perspective, although remember, there is always a wider context and individuality that must be taken into account when noticing these signs.
Many people read similar trait lists and find something in everyone, like a one size fits all, and to me that is quite a dangerous corner that we have been programming ourselves to sit in. The truth is that narcissism is a scale, anyone can become one given the correct surroundings and experiences, and that there is such a thing as healthy narcissism which we all must have a little of in the world.
I will be posting again about The Skeleton, breaking down some interesting points about it so if you're interested, keep a look out for that.
Stay awesome :)
© Thursday 10th Feb 2022
My sister probably summed it up best when we watched it together:
Jimmy didn't get mad because his daughter was fired. He got mad because his daughter was fired.
I only just noticed this in Sing 2. While Clay talks to Buster, Jimmy's interview with Linda continues playing on the TV in the background. And this is what he's saying when you turn on the subtitles:
Yeah, he has the gall to insinuate "yeah, I totally care about my daughter who I just called an embarrassment and a talentless loser and didn't even try to comfort when she was upset" all to prop up himself and his image.
Utter bastard.
puppeteer.
That kind man, forged from a generational habit of skillful deceit, found his way into the unguarded chambers of my mind; with his soft words, he carved and morphed the memories that his Hyde had inflicted on me; what resulted was near insanity, as what I knew to be truth, what I knew to be reality, crumbled. I had --- and still have --- moments where the very fabric of reality seems to be wearing thin, and I can see no difference between reality and these captivating, yet nonetheless dreadful, memories. As years passed, and Jekyll continued to wear thin the cognizant layer of my mind, I had more and more moments where I seemed to slip from my body; not in a paranormal way, but in the way of one who knows not who she is --- what she is. What she means.
Confusion. Hysteria.
An evolutionary and well-developed terror at the thought of my captor and those calloused hands that molded my torture. Delirium because the vividities of last night were mere dreams, mania because yesterday's twisted events never happened.
Half-assed apologies over text, disorienting "I love you"s slipped under doorways post-episode; a huge sheet of unlined, white paper, with crude sharpie scribblings and an effortless, three-featured smiley face. "Sorry if you think..." "Sorry that you feel...but..."
A doctor could say someone's guilty. A prosecutor would say you're guilty. Yet here I am, doing nothing.
Ah, trauma bonds.
I must not waste my own love on a love that shouldn't have been. And yet here I am, crying more for my father, who still lives, than for any dead being. There are not tears enough in the ocean with which to express my cries; not enough fire on all the earth to succumb my rage; not enough beauty in this world to make up for the illusory treasure I have forever lost. I must hold my head high and acknowledge gone. I must hold my head high and acknowledge forever. It was not meant to be. I am not dissonant enough to believe there is some higher, divine purpose to this injustice. But I am no longer foolish enough to give him all of my love. I am no longer foolish enough to sell myself to a soul so loveless that it cannot survive without a vessel. It is over. He is gone.
A doubt arousal
I will tell you it's not me
I am a product of virtues and vacancies
The next decision I take
Isn't mine at all
It is manipulated and churned
Ask me a technical term
I will define gaslighting
While defining gaslighting
If I add few irrelevant facts
Forgive me
I already am manipulated
my next few decisions
Aren't within my control
You have me saying it
But I am trained to say so
You have me telling truth
But I am schooled to say so
You have me telling lies
But I was prepared to sell those
If your guts gave you courage
I want you to believe me
When I say believe me
If you doubt yourself right now
Do it
Wear off yourself
Do it
descrate yourself
Do it
Cleave the thoughts you holding
Do it (yourself)
Severely impotent right?
wait I know it's not you
And now you know it's not me
It as it is defined
Is gaslighting
It ain't red lettered alright ?
This definitely is narcissism.
NARCISSISM IS A RACE