Red Valley Pod - Blog Posts
what if i was an archivist and part time conspiracy theorist and you were the only test subject that survived the horrific and wildly unethical science experiment i’m weirdly interested in and we were in love and also u were frozen and technically dead for most of our time spent together
Life is bad but red valley good.
I've now spent £75 on Red Valley.
RV hoodie - £40
RV cinematic experience - £10
RV BTS - £10
RV early access - £15
I am not okay but that's my personal life.
Me after Clive and let die.
Francesca is my new obsession. She is the girl boss to my gatekeep.
My deranged head cannons for DILF Clive Schill
His wife is a social worker and is the nicest woman you've ever met.
They both met in university.
Clive was doing some dumb uni degree, like English or psychology.
I think his wife was probably like a mean girl in secondary school, but has tried to make amends with everyone she hurt.
If his daughter asks for something in the shop he'll always say no, but is constantly giving her gifts.
When his wife was pregnant he had nesting syndrome, and would spend hours just decorating and cleaning and dalting after his wife.
Clive either really likes football (like every single match for his team) or violently hates it.
Clive smashes a phone every month.
When he's drunk he vents to his wife about his work.
He wife knows what he does but believes it's for the greater good.
They never acknowledge his work when they're sober.
He owns some of the most tacky designer stuff you've ever seen.
He shops at sports direct.
They live in one of those generic new builds.
Does their weekly shop at Tesco because they want the club card points. It is also the only place locally that sells tahini.
I will not be taking any criticism at this time ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I invented a Clive cocktail,
Ingredients
* A cup of cold coffee (expresso)
* Two shots of jäger cold brew
Instructions
Make some coffee
Add ice cubes
Add two shots jäger cold brew
Shake
Serve with a handful of amphetamines
I invented a Clive cocktail,
Ingredients
* A cup of cold coffee (expresso)
* Two shots of jäger cold brew
Instructions
Make some coffee
Add ice cubes
Add two shots jäger cold brew
Shake
Serve with a handful of amphetamines
Valid reaction
I missed Gordon Porlock so bad I literally started crying at the end of the new episode man. The way Warren talked to Gordon like I’m actually losing it I love them so much.
“Are you gonna be here when I wake up?”
“That’s my line” I’m literally chewing on the walls
shut the fuck up shut up rkght this second i am going to lose my mind
S4E6 Finale
Also I feel like this all went fairly smooth and that worries me (sure a lot did happened but still) but I’m not going to think about that right now
Red Valley S4E6 Finale
I had to sleep and wait until morning so I missed it by a couple hours but HELLO???? SO many emotions and none of them I can express in a way that’ll do them justice.
That was incredible? It was just surprise after surprise. The swapping “that’s my line”s? Just stab me in the heart why don’t you? They’re so sickeningly special in my heart. As other people have pointed out, I love how we can always squeeze some genuine comedy in there too no matter how intense it gets, in the case with the “chop chop”. AND MALCOLM???? There’s so much here to think about wow. I wish I could be better at talking about this because this whole episode was wow
Basically just oh red valley how I love you
ITS ALMOST HERE I’m so scared so so scared but also extremely excited I don’t know what to think or feel. Depending on how this goes we might all need group therapy
THIS EXACTLY. I feel so conflicted
I guess we’ll find out soon enough. I’m terrified to say the least
What I think is going to happen next in Red Valley:
Gordon is not going to be a-okay
What I hope is going to happen next in Red Valley:
Gordon is going to be a-okay
What I think is going to happen next in Red Valley:
Gordon is not going to be a-okay
What I hope is going to happen next in Red Valley:
Gordon is going to be a-okay
Spoilers for Red Valley S4 E5
S4 E5 OF RED VALLEY??? THAT WAS SO GOOD, my jaw actually dropped at the end. I don’t know if I can wait two more weeks guys😔
I’ve never been good with words but I loved the voice acting for Bryony this episode, it was so interesting to hear her and Warren talk again. I’m still super curious about the whole Warren killing someone thing though.
Also I NEED Gordon to be okay I miss him so much PLEASEEE