Tw Gaslighting - Blog Posts
person a: when i love someone, i gaslight them
person b: you don’t gaslight me
person a: of course i do
person b: no, i don’t think you do
person a: yeah, i do, i gaslight you all the time, darling. how could you forget?
Vent
Trigger Warning - G@slight!ng, sVic!d3 mention
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I don’t even fucking know anymore. It seems like me and my sibling constantly are at battle nowadays. And recently they’ve been getting worse and worse. Sure, there are days of laughing, it almost all the other days, it feels like I’m always trying to be g@sligh3d by them. And it’s gotten worse and worse it feel like. Even to the littlest of thing like having the TV. I was getting called a child when I was told by them that I could have the TV at 10, I agreed. I missed it by 5 minutes, and thus it became 10:30. I set a timer, and next thing be I know I was told that they didn’t know where the remote was, and that they never said 10:30, saying I was hallucinating.
Not to mention, my thoughts have been getting worse and one of the only things that is keeping me living and not wanting to commit is knowing that I need to be there for my friends. I just don’t even know anymore..
I apologize, I just..really needed to say something.
Sleazy
Dabi x F!Reader smut
Warnings: +18 MINORS DNI! Nonconish/dubcon, blackmail, gaslighting, manhandling, Stockholm syndrome, smut, penetration, biting, bruises, creampie
Synopsis: Dabi blackmails you, a sidekick of a famous pro-hero, into a relationship, which in his terms mean that whenever he texts you time and place for a fuck, you obey no questions asked
Word count: 2.4k
DISCLAIMER: Characters belong to Kohei Horikoshi
Shame is unavoidable when crossing the border into the city’s seedy underbelly. With a hood over your head to shield yourself from the rain and more importantly, prying eyes, you sneak to the reception of a rundown motel. As you mumble awkwardly that you’re in need of a room, the sour receptionist hands you the key and out of pure embarrassment, you grab it without another word. Going upstairs to search for the room, you wanna convince yourself that the employees must witness worse secrets than what yours is.
You spend the rainy evening standing by the window, waiting, and staring at the neon signs flashing outside, their lights reflecting from the puddles on the ground. Brows furrowing, you sigh heavily as despite your agreement, Dabi is once again late.
Because of him, you had to make up another excuse for your boss of why you needed to leave early again, but since your working time ended a while ago, it was all in vain. You are running out of good reasons and using the last proper ones for nothing is beyond frustrating.
Dabi’s carelessness towards you isn’t anything new though. He doesn’t mind causing you inconveniences or even serious troubles since he sees you as mere entertainment.
Draping an arm over your belly, you begin to pace back and forth nervously and bite your nails, wishing you could come up with a plan how to get out of this.
His mean schemes have been messing up your life for months. You’re constantly under pressure to manage hero-work and close relationships without anyone finding out the dark deal he blackmailed you into. Your sleepless nights have become countless in numbers and your heart pounds whenever his name pops into your screen.
Suddenly a key twists inside the lock and ceases your agonizing thoughts. You turn to see Dabi entering like he just didn’t force you to wait unreasonably long.
“What took you so long?!” You ask while storming closer to him.
“Yeah, sorry about that,” he says with a lazy grin, while shutting the door, “Guess I just lost track of time.”
“I had to leave work early for nothing and I’ve been waiting for hours! I’ve told you I could lose my job over this!”
“Relax hero,” he responds and throws his jacket on the floor, “It’s not like there ain’t a line of heroes ready to replace you,” he adds and shuffles up to you.
“But it’s my livelihood and you know that!”
“Your good looks goes to waste in that profession anyway,” he shrugs and puts his hands in his pockets, his dismissive attitude ticking you off.
“My whole life could be ruined! I could lose everything and you act like this is just some game to you!”
“It is,” he replies carefreely and with an unbearable smirk. Your hands ball into fists as rage bubbles up in your gut.
“You are insufferable,” you retort through gritted teeth, but it does nothing to that sardonic smile on his face.
“No need to be so hostile, sweetheart. I’m just playing here,” he responds innocently.
“It’s not funny!” You shout, finally ready to stand up for yourself, “You’re purposely trying to ruin my life and I’m sick of it! I’m not gonna tolerate it any longer!”
“What other choice do you have?”
You freeze at the question. It’s a problem you haven’t found an answer to, even during all these months. Your reaction causes a conniving grin as he slightly tilts his head.
“Or rather— What makes you think you have any other choice?” He asks. You stare up at him with lips little agape, unable to come up with a response. He then takes a step forward, forcing you to back away.
“There’s absolutely nothing you can do,” he points out. His usual husky tone remains, but the way his turquoise eyes bore into yours appears threatening and reminds you of who you’re talking to.
“You’ll show up whenever I tell you to,” he says and continues to back you against the window sill, “Even if it’s in the middle of some shitty hero-work and for a sleazy fuck in an alley,” when your back hits the sill, Dabi places his hands on it, trapping you.
“You are my toy. And I’m not done playing with you,“ he says with the most wicked smirk and for a moment you can only stare up at him, your heart sinking at the thought of continuing this forever.
He then tilts his head, “And why is it that you’ll comply?”
Your gut twists from the painful reminder that makes you lower your head. Tightness spreads in your throat, making your breath hitch a little, “B-because—“ you reluctantly stutter, and your words come out as nothing more than a sad mumble.
“You’ll hurt my loved ones...”
“That’s right. Because I hold the lives of your loved ones over your head. Don’t you think it’d be a pity for them to get incinerated just because you wanna act like a brat?” He asks with a tone that’s nearly berating. Feeling ashamed to have even considered disobedience at the possible cost of their lives, you keep your head lowered.
“Besides—” He cups your chin and makes you look up at the mischievous glint in his haunting eyes.
“We both know you’re far too weak to fight me anyway. You should just focus on what you’re good at and that’s spreading your legs for me.”
Your lips purse in frustration as your pride takes another hit. Dabi is far more stronger than you, but pointing out your inferiority is a taste too bitter to swallow.
“...When you’ll get thrown into Tartarus, I’ll make sure to be there to lock the cell myself,” you growl, but your voice breaks as tears threaten to fall.
“Dream big, sweetheart,” he replies with an encouraging tone as he obviously doesn’t take you seriously. You keep glaring up at him, not wanting to grant him the satisfaction of reducing you into tears, unfortunately though, one manages to roll down your cheek. Dabi reacts to your misery like it’s a mere tantrum. He puts his hands on your waist and hoists you up on the window sill.
“You get cute when you’re angry,“ he points out while tucking stray strands behind your ear.
His remark humiliates you, but since there’s indeed nothing you can do about him, you leave any comments unsaid and lower your gaze. Dabi is pleased with your submissive reaction. While holding his hands on your waist tenderly, he starts planting soft kisses down your neck, which makes you face away in discomfort.
“Please.. Don’t leave any marks… They’re so hard to cover,“ you whine.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” he murmurs, but you know he won’t.
Bringing his lips on yours then, you don’t pull away but answer it bashfully. His lips move against yours gently, calming your resistant heart. Shifting your trembling hands, you hesitate but place them doubtfully on his chest and hum softly as his tongue invades your mouth. It’s warm and a little dominant when rubbing against yours.
Slowly his hands slide on your hips and down on your thighs as he carefully lifts you in his arms. You wrap your arms around his neck as he carries you towards the bed and places you on the mattress. With your lips still attached, he starts peeling the clothes off of your bodies.
He’s considerate of your comfort in the beginning. Removing garment after another, his touch is skillful, discreet and easy to melt into. The demureness of your whines turn into subtle moans as his hands roam on your naked skin admiringly.
A gasp, tormented in bliss, escapes your lips as he sucks one of your peaked nipples. His tongue sweeps against it, sending pleasurable vibrations all over your squirming body. While groping your breasts, he starts littering your body with kisses.
He loves to hear your soft moans. They are proof of how he can tame you from reluctant and hateful into this sweet little mess. Just a moment ago you were spewing bitterness, but now with heat on your cheeks, his name rolls off your tongue smoothly as he pulls down your panties.
Moving himself on top of you, you wrap your arms around his neck, your hooded eyes meeting his briefly as he presses another kiss on your lips. Grinding his hardened cock against your fluttering entrance, you moan into his mouth as your arousal coats the head of his cock.
Lining his cock with your sloppy hole, he pulls away from your lips and starts pushing past your tight walls. Throwing your head back, agony spreads on your features momentarily as your pussy adjusts around his cock.
Dabi loves watching your face scrunch as he penetrates you. Your pussy wrapping around him while he enters deeper, your back arches as your whole body reacts to him. Whimpering quietly, you hold onto his forearms for comfort when he presses his forehead against yours.
“Nnh, you feel good, baby,” he groans and starts to rock his hips gently.
A breathy moan leaves your lips as a shiver of pleasure runs through your body. It’s a cue that you’re ready. Dabi intertwines his fingers with yours and starts thrusting into you steadily. Your other hand caresses his back, nails scratching his skin while he pants into your ear.
As his pace becomes faster, your moans get louder, desperate. Closing your eyes, your other senses numb as you only focus on the pleasure that surges through you. He continues to fuck you, soon placing his weight on his forearms to see the blissful look on your face.
When you open your eyes, you meet his mesmerizing gaze as he pants above you, then slowly, his lips twist into a debauched smirk that tugs at the staples on the corner of his mouth.
“How’s my cock feeling inside you, hero?”
“Mmh.. G-good,” you moan. Suddenly he slams inside you hard, making you throw your head back and cry out.
“Oh yeah? Nngh, then scream for me, baby,” another ruthless slam of his hips against yours. Hands gripping the sheets, you try to suppress your voice that comes out as choked screams, your vision blurring as he abuses your sweet spot so sinfully good. Your eyes screw shut as you bite your bottom lip, feeling him getting more rough with you. His hands groping your chest, teeth sinking into your delicate skin, despite his earlier promise.
It’s sudden when he decides to pull out and flip you on your stomach. There’s no more consideration in his motions as he grabs your hips and forces them up. Wrapping a hand around his cock, he guides it back into your warmth, no longer expressing any gentleness as he starts pounding into you roughly.
Your brows furrow and lips fall agape as the pleasure surges through you in powerful waves, making your legs quiver. The obscene sound of your squelching pussy and his skin slamming against yours echoes in the dim-lighted motel room. Your tormented moans piercing the thin walls into the ears of whoever happens to listen.
Another gasp tumbles down your lips as Dabi grasps a handful of your hair and presses your head down on the mattress. With your cheek squished against it, he holds you there and gets on top of you, supporting himself with his other hand that he places next to your head.
Tears of overstimulation fall from your eyes, your hands gripping the bed sheets in sheer desperation as his pace is merciless. Your bodies covered sweat that makes strands of hair stick onto your face as he keeps fucking you.
Dabi pants in pleasure with a look of depravity on his face, pleased by the sight of you and the jolts your body gives whenever he smacks your ass. You shut your eyes, feeling his thrusts becoming faster and sloppier as he nears his climax. Your legs give in and he leans himself over you, continuing to pound into you.
“Fuck, ahh— I’m gonna cum inside you, baby,” he pants. You don’t want that, but know better than to defy him, especially when he’s on the brink of an orgasm. Sinking his teeth in your shoulder, his hot breath fans your skin as he grunts, releasing his seeds deep inside you.
Holding still, a tiny drop of sweat trails down your temple as you keep panting quietly, waiting for him to empty himself inside you. Soon he loosens his grip and frees you from his grasp, allowing you to collapse on the bed with bruises and teeth marks on your skin.
You both lie on your back and pull the covers over yourselves, staring at the ceiling while basking in the afterglow. Dabi, with his every possible need satisfied, has his arms folded behind his head and he still pants quietly. You adjust the covers around your naked chest and turn on your side as guilt is quick to settle in.
You know Dabi is forcing you to do this and you adapt yourself in order to survive, yet at the same time you can’t help but be disappointed in yourself for enjoying it. Sighing deeply, you reach for your pants that were discarded on the floor in the heat of the moment. Digging your phone from the pocket, you check up for any notifications.
Your face goes pale when you see a bunch of emergency calls and texts from your colleagues and even your boss, urging you to hurry up as there’s a major incident in downtown Musutafu.
“Shit!” You jump from the bed and start quickly gathering your scattered clothes.
“What?” Dabi asks, but seems uninterested to hear the answer.
“My phone was mute and we’ve been summoned downtown!” You panic while dressing yourself up.
“So?”
“So! Even my boss has tried to call me, which means since he contacted me personally, he’s fed up with me!” You add, quickly fixing your hair and grabbing your purse from the nightstand.
Dabi merely scorns in boredom, “Just tell him you had more important shit to do,” he says which makes you stop and whip your head around as you open the door.
“Endeavor’s a strict man! He’s not gonna tolerate me much longer if I keep failing him like this!” You shout before slamming the door shut.
As an ironic smile spreads on his face, Dabi turns his gaze into the ceiling again.
“Yeah. I know.”
Is he gaslighting? #gaslightgatekeepgirlboss
Taken (Part 3/5)
Unedited, as all of these are. The research I did for the end of this has surely gotten me on some kind of list lol. Rendacted cannot keep his accent together and that is not my fault. Ren and above image belong to @14dayswithyou
Summary: Ren does not gatekeep, but he does gaslight and girlboss
2.8k words
14 Days With You is an 18+ Yandere Visual Novel. MINORS DNI
As I check out at the reception desk I call an uber to my place, making a quick transition from the hospital to my apartment. I didn’t know how Ren could access information about me, but my working theory was through my phone. As an aspiring programmer I knew just how simple it could be to hack into someone’s phone and gain remote access. So I didn’t contact anyone, worried that he might see it.
When I get to my apartment I immediately go around my room, trying to quickly pack anything I might need into a bag. My plan was to wait him out in Violet’s apartment, she almost always just stayed home and gamed all Sunday, so I would let her know about my situation and ask if I could stay for a bit. I was sure she would oblige; she was always so kind to me, and never was very fond of Ren.
So I finish gathering my essential belongings and a container of cookies I had stress baked before leaving on Friday. I power off my phone, ignoring the multitude of messages from Ren, and open my door to knock on Violet’s.
Only to run into a cardigan-clad chest. I look up to see Ren with a friendly smile on his face, “Oh, hey Angel! I was going to surprise you! Here!”
He holds out a bouquet of pink roses to me, which I just stare at blankly. How had he intercepted me just as I was leaving? How did he know I had even gotten back home? Why was he wearing a backpack?
He tilts his head, “What’s wrong, Angel? Why do you have a bag with you, where were you going?”
I forcibly pull myself together, and give him a smile, accepting the flowers, “Oh thank you, Ren, these are lovely! I was just headed to your place actually, I was going to surprise you. Good timing, I suppose, would’ve been awkward if we were both at the other apartment, huh?”
This seems to make him happy as he giggles, “Yeah, that worked out well, didn’t it? Luckily you don’t have to walk now, I don’t want you straining your stitches!”
I laugh, “Haha, yeah, I guess I hadn’t considered that. Actually, hold that thought, I was gonna visit Violet to give her these cookies really quickly. I owe her one, so would you mind waiting here while I go inside?”
He holds my arm, stopping me from knocking on her door, “Do you really have to do that right now, Angel? I can deliver them to her later, she probably isn’t even home right now. Why do you owe her anyway?”
I tug my arm free, breathing a silent sigh of relief when he lets me, “Oh, don’t worry, Ren, I’ll only be a minute. She never leaves the house on Sundays.”
But he grabs my arm again, pulling me back, “Please, Angel, can we just go home now? You always take forever to talk to her.”
This time, when try I pull my arm back, he doesn’t let go. I do my best to keep my breathing even, knowing that this was my best chance to escape, but also knowing that he could easily overpower me any time he chose. I look at him with a confused expression, “What’s wrong? I won’t take long, I promise.”
He gently tugs me away from her door, “C’mon Angel, let’s just go, please? I’ve been so worried about you, I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
I hold my ground, “I told you, I’m fine. I’m on painkillers, I’ve been on bedrest for two days. I just need to talk to Violet for a second.”
“But why do you need to talk to her? I thought you were just going to drop off the cookies, can’t that wait? You keep avoiding me and I don’t know why!”
Panicking, I decide to finally make a move while I’m in semi-public at least, “I’m sorry! I want to break up with you!”
Ren’s face falls and it looks like I just punched him in the gut, “Wha- but I- Angel, how could you? You said I didn’t do anything wrong, why did y’lie to me? How can I fix it if you don’t tell me? Please, Angel, don’t do this, we can talk it out, just- just tell me please!” He gently guides me back into my apartment and this time I don’t resist.
I try to pull together my mental fortitude. I really did like him a lot, I would have even said love, but I logically knew it was too soon for that. And now this is proving why. I remind myself of what I saw, the cold expression, the blood, the eyes, steeling myself to not be swayed.
I look at him firmly, “Ren, I can’t date you, I’m sorry, you didn’t do anything wrong, it’s me. I just- can’t.”
Ren shakes his head, tears running from his eyes, “No, I had to have done something, I can’t- you can’t- this is so sudden, something had to have happened. Please Angel, just let me make it right.”
I snap, worried at his insistence, “Ren! You can’t. Sometimes that’s just the way things fall. It’s not your fault, I wish you the best, I really do, I just can’t date you anymore.”
He looks hopeful, “So- wait- can we still be friends?”
I hesitate, “I- no, I don’t think that would be wise. You deserve the time and space you need to move on and find somebody else.”
Ren reaches for me, but I quickly step backwards over an arm’s length away. A devastated look crosses his eyes and settles there as he falls to his knees, pleading and gasping through tears, “No, please, I can’t- there’s no one else I want. I don’t want to find anyone, if I can’t have you I’d rather die alone. I’d do anything for you, please, let me prove it to you. I’ll give you everything I have, just say the word, I promise, Angel, please just give me another chance.”
I shake my head and back away slowly, scared and taken aback by his utter desperation. I keep an eye on him while slowly sliding my phone out of my back pocket, hoping to contact someone in case anything happens.
He catches my movements before I can even attempt to make a call and shoots forward, grabbing my wrist and pulling it away from me before taking the phone itself, “Don’t! Who are y’trying t’call? Conan? Violet? Why would you need t’call them?”
His immediate shift from pathetic and crying to sharp and interrogating had me yanking my hand away from him with such force that I stagger into the couch behind me, hitting my injured hip. I hiss and tears fill my eyes, the pain, fear, and betrayal overwhelming me.
Ren rushes to me, pulling me into his arms, “Angel! You’re hurt, you can’t be making sharp movements like that.”
I shake uncontrollably, feeling utterly trapped as I push back against his chest to no avail, “Then let me go!”
He tightens his grip, “You keep running away! I have to show you, I can be everything you’ll ever need, I swear.”
I struggle harder, “I don’t want you too! I don’t even know who you are!”
He freezes, “What do you mean? I’m Ren, your boyfriend.”
I let out a sob, “We both know that’s not true; I saw you! I know it was you that night Ren, you just murdered someone in cold blood! How would I know what else you’re capable of?”
He holds me tighter, “Angel, I don’t know what you’re talking about, but you need to stop struggling, you’re going to hurt yourself.”
I wrench myself away from him, but I can tell I only succeed because he lets me, “No, you need to let me go.”
He looks betrayed, “I already did!”
I shake my head, moving to the other side of the room. He follows me, but at least stays just out of reach. I protest, “No, not just physically, this obsession, it’s not healthy. You need to leave me. Like I said, find somebody else.”
His eyes flash, “Like I said, I don’t want anyone else.”
I snap, “Well you’re going to need to, because I’m not dating someone I don’t know! I’m not staying with a murderer!”
He gestures for me to calm down, which automatically enrages me, but I stay quiet as he speaks, “Angel, you went through something extremely traumatic, I know everything’s muddled right now, but I can help you. I’m not trying to hurt you, I’m not the one who attacked you, I’m just Ren .”
I straighten my stance, no longer cowering, “You’re not the one who attacked me, you’re the one who killed the attacker like it was your average Tuesday night! And you specifically went out of your way to hide it was you, so you can’t just act dumb, it was intentional and planned!”
A thought comes to mind and I speak slowly, not believing it at first, “Did you- did you hire that man? What were you going to do with me? Were you just going to show off, but went too far or were you actually working with him and whatever disgusting plan he had?”
Ren looks disgusted and horrified at the suggestion, “Angel, can you even hear yourself? That’s crazy! Why would I hire someone to hurt you? And if I had, why would I have killed him? That doesn’t make any sense! Your mind is playing tricks on you, trying to make sense of what happened.” His voice softens and he looks at me sympathetically, “Because it shouldn’t have happened, there is no excuse for those men’s behavior, and you never should have been targeted.”
I squint, “What do you mean, ‘men’? There was only one man that targeted me.”
Ren’s face is full of saccharine sorrow as he says, “See Angel, you’re already twisting what happened, there were two men that night, one killed the other, remember? That’s what it said on the news.”
I lower my head, looking at him skeptically, “Yeah, only one of them targeted me. The other seemed concerned for my safety, six foot five with pink hair and a ring on his left ring finger. So who else was ‘targeting’ me? And how do you know about it?”
Ren attempts to put a comforting hand on my shoulder, but I smack his hand away, rather harder than necessary, but he kinda deserved it, “Don’t touch me.”
He raises his hands, “Sorry, I- I just misspoke I guess, I assumed they were both targeting you from the sound of things.”
I huff, “I don’t believe you. And since when could you speak Japanese?”
He throws his hands in the air, “I can’t! See, I don’t even know Japanese, how could I be the killer?”
I look him dead in the eye, “What would Japanese have to do with the killer?”
He sputters, “W- W- What do you mean? You just said-!”
I glare, “I never said the killer spoke Japanese, nor did I tell the ambulance workers or police. Only the people who were there knew.”
I see his eyes widen and a fond smile flit across his face before it’s replaced by confusion again, “But- that’s obviously what you were implying! I don’t have any secret insider knowledge, Angel, I think you’re just paranoid.”
I am immediately brought back to the alleyway, with the drunken man staggering toward me, “I’m not gonna hurt ya, stop being so paranoid.”
I grasp around for any sort of weapon, settling on the fire poker right behind me and leveling it at Ren, “That’s exactly what he said. You know what the next thing he did was?”
Ren backs a step away, “Angel, I’m not going to hurt you, I don’t have a knife.”
I start laughing, tears streaming down my face and no mirth in my voice, “History really does repeat itself, huh?” My voice drops to an emphatic hiss, “I’m not going to let that happen this time.”
Ren backs further away and sits down with his hands open and facing me cursing, “Shit Angel, m’really sorry, I didn’t mean- fuck I keep choosing m’words poorly, I’m sorry, I really am. I- I’m not like the guy that attacked you at all. I swear. You’re…. you’re right, I was the guy that killed him, but I didn’t know what else to do, I had to protect you, you don’t understand!”
I keep the poker directed at him, “I appreciate the truth, but I’d like some more of it. Because what you didn’t have to do was be there, dressed all in black like a creeper and with a whole fucking sledgehammer. That’s the part I don’t understand.”
His eyes dart around as he thinks before speaking, “I was… I followed you, I’m sorry, I didn’t trust Teo to keep track of you and make sure you were safe. You’re not used to bars, someone could have spiked your drink, and they did! There were three of them, clearly used to this routine. One of them distracted you while the other spiked your drink, and the third one waited outside for you. That’s why I was late, I had t’deal with the other guys first, ‘cause they were gonna bring a car around.”
My head spins from this new information, “Wait- what? What do you mean, ‘deal with’? There were three- I was drugged?! No I wasn’t.” I think back to the night but don’t remember any such ill effects.
Ren shakes his head, “No, you weren’t, because I switched your drinks when he wasn’t looking, the fu-, I mean, the guy drugged himself. I just had to make sure the other one couldn’t drive the car.”
I chew on my lip nervously, “And how did you do that?”
He mirrors my action, probably subconsciously, “Th- the point is that I’d never hurt you, Angel. Please believe me.”
I shake my head, “As much as I’d like to believe you Ren, if that’s even your real name, I can’t risk it, there’s too many things about you that don’t add up.”
Ren leans forward earnestly, “Angel-”
I hiss, “Shut up! I’m done listening to you, get out of my house! You said you’d do anything for me, so leave!” I level the poker at him again.
He shakes his head and stands, genuine pain in his voice as he says, “I’m sorry, Angel, that’s the one thing I can’t do. I can’t live without you, not again, not after I finally got you back.”
My hands shake, “Stay away from me!”
Ren only moves closer to me, each step deliberate and calculated, but I can hear the desperation and helplessness in his voice when he responds, “I can’t.”
He’s so close now that the poker is resting on his chest, right above his heart. I try to keep my hand steady, but as my eyes flit between his eyes and his chest, I realize I wouldn’t be able to actually stab him. He seems to realize this too, or maybe he just doesn’t care as he continues to step forward.
My voice shakes, considerably quieter this time, “Stop Ren, or I swear to god I’ll drive this right through your heart.”
That look. That damn look. His eyes are full of adoration as he continues toward me, my hands now pushed back to my own chest, “No, you won’t.”
My eyes fill with tears as he backs me into a corner. When I see blood stain his cardigan, I immediately drop the poker, instead dashing to the side, hoping to make it to my door. But I never even make it close as Ren easily intercepts me, pulling my back flush against his chest as his arms restrain mine.
He murmurs apologies in my ear as he keeps me from moving with just one arm and grabs something from his bag with another. To my horror, he puts a mask over my nose and mouth, the same used to deliver nitrous oxide during surgery. But I’d had laughing gas before, and that was not whatever sweet-smelling gas was flowing through this. I try to question him, fighting twice as hard to free my face, but there was nowhere to go.
I vaguely hear his broken voice as I rapidly lose consciousness, “I’m so sorry Angel, I didn’t want it to be this way. It’s sevoflurane and nitrous oxide, it’s the safest option I could find, I’m sorry. I promise you’ll be okay, I’d never hurt you…”
FUCK ALL THE PEOPLE BASICALLY DEFENDING WILLIAM GOLD (WILBUR SOOT) BY SAYING HE'S AUTISTIC.
(starting notes: this is most likely going to be very much rambling and jumping from one thing to another. I am just very upset about the situation and what some people are saying about it and needed to clear my head.)
I, myself am autistic and ADHD and regardless of whether you realize it or not, you are stereotyping autistic people by basically saying that they don't know when to stop when asked and can't understand boundaries. Well!! spoiler alert!!! WE DO UNDERSTAND BOUNDARIES. AND IF SOMEONE ASKS US TO STOP IF WE'RE HURTING THEM/MAKING THEM UNCOMFORTABLE? WE WILL!!! WHY??? BECAUSE IT'S BASIC HUMAN DECANCY.
Autistic people are people too. With feelings, emotions, opinions, and boundaries. Just like every other human being on this planet. We are human, just with a more different mindset than most. And most Autistic people try their best to respect people's boundaries and to listen to people when they say no or to stop. If William Gold really is autistic and has a known habit of biting, he could have easily gone on Amazon and gotten a chewing necklace to help with the habit. They're like $5-11 and they almost always come in packs of 3-5 or more. I've had several throughout my life, and they really do help with said habit. So he has NO reason and NO excuse to be biting someone else instead. ESPECIALLY TO THE POINT THE PERSON IS SCREAMING AT THEM AND USING A SAFE WORD TO STOP.
And you people have to keep in mind that the biting isn't the only awful thing he's done to Shelby. He has physically abused her. He had pinned her down and had told her to try her hardest to get him off with full knowledge that she has been $e×ually assaulted before and then said something along the lines of that, he was so much stronger than her and that "she wouldn't be able to fight back". Had likely loved bombed her at the beginning of the relationship to make her stay(which, if you didn't know is a big red flag). Threw away almost all of her things after they broke up without even telling her. Manipulated her and gaslighted her (saying he wanted kids/marriage and then further into the relationship telling her he never wanted that & never said that) plus A LOT more.
Long story short:
-The autistic excuse is a load of fucking bullshit.
-PLEASE do some research about Neurodivergent people before you say anything relating to them online.
-While you're at it, research different kinds of abuse and manipulative behavior because you obviously don't understand that THIS? BITING someone to the point it HURTS AND THEY ARE SCREAMING? IS VERY CLEARLY ABUSE.
-Stop defending someone who already owned up to it (in the most shittiest and self-centered way possible, making it all about himself and also not even mentioning her NAME ONCE).
-Get off whatever social media platform you're on and either go play a game, go outside, read a book, or go to sleep if its late.
-And Always Support The Victim. NEVER The Fucking Abuser.
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(Final notes: I seriously recommend that you watch Shelby's VOD of you haven't and read these websites start to finish. You'll find a lot that relates back to William's behavior. Both inside and outside this relationship.
Shelby Shubble VOD
After reading them, I still recommend that you do more research about the topics I brought up. It could save your life one day.)
It's wild how abusers will normalize things and use different language to make it sound okay.
"spanking" instead of "hitting" or "beating" unless they're threatening you. Once it's over, you got *spanked" and not "beaten."
I've known for a while that my parents were physically abusive when I was growing up, but I was afraid to call what they did "beating" until recently. I had a conversation with someone I grew up with, and that's what she called it. I was dumbfounded for a second before I stopped and thought about it. Then, I felt validated and heard.
The conflicting feeling has returned.
You've been terrible to me and I want you to face consequences.
But you're in danger and I don't want anything awful happening to you.
But you've done so much to hurt me over the years.
But you've also done so much to help me.
You were apathetic towards my plight and my cries often fell on deaf ears.
I would help you if I could but my untreated and undiagnosed disorders and years of abuse have led me to a terrible mental state and I have no funds to help you.
My abuser needs to go to the hospital. They refuse. Their ailment could get worse. I have no car, nor license, nor insurance, nor funds and I cannot help them.
I would like to show just the smallest bit of mercy to my abuser, despite how often they refused to show me even a grain of it, but we are both helpless for the time being....
"you're an adult. I know you can't move out yet, but stand up to your parents. Don't be so spineless."
You don't fucking understand. My safety has been threatened over the smallest things. They haven't hit me as an adult, but one of them definitely would if I gave a good enough reason, and the other enables it.
The worst they've done recently is toss drinks on me or throw candy or whatever at me (which is harmless coming from one of them and ambiguous from the other) or get into some psychological or emotional abuse. That's lessened for now too, but only until we move out and they can corner me in a time and place where no one can see or hear either of us.
If I do fight back and it gets violent, I can't do anything about it. They might kick me out. I have nowhere to go. I don't have nearly enough money to sustain myself and most of my clothes are unwearable. It's winter. I could die.
So I'm glad you can do that, but we aren't all so fortunate.