Valentine Morgenstern - Blog Posts
and if i said i'm still pulling for the izzy is valentine's daughter theory
Absolutely nothing beats Valentine's parenting strategy of "this is my good son who I keep in the house and my evil son who I keep in the shed. They're both named Jonathan"
Nobody Beats Jace Herondale
Percy: My mother was made Hades’s Prisoner
Jace: Mine killed herself after my fathers’s death, I never knew her and I was dug out of her corpse.
Percy: Well, we have the Mist
Jace: We have glamour AND runes
Percy: My eyes is a beautiful sea green
Jace: Mine is gold and I’m naturally blond.
Percy: I almost got killed a million times in my series and I came out of Tartarus.
Jace: Big deal, I actually died and the Angel Raziel raised me back from the dead.
Percy: I have a movie.
Jace: So do I, and I have a Neflix series though the actor is not as stunningly attractive as I am.
Percy: I was betrayed by my so called good friend, Luke.
Jace: My adoptive father and brother are the villan of my series and I not only thought Valentine was my real father but I was also connected to Sebastian.
Percy: Ugh....I give up, I challenge you to a sword fight.
*Jace lights up a Seraph Blade and twists it expertly, flipping his hair
Percy: Umm, nevermind.
Valentine: Ok, so, um, you’re like a son to me
Jace: Well, you raised me
Valentine: Exactly, so join me and we’ll kill all the filthy downworlders-
Jace: No
*Looks over to Clary*
Valentine: You’re like a son to me-
Clary: I’m out
valentine is so hateful like wth you tell your daughter that the love of her life is her bother like go to a psychiatrist man
happy father’s day to julian blackthorn and jem carstairs and will herondale and gideon lightwood and gabriel lightwood and alec lightwood and magnus bane!! ( and maybe to robert lightwood too, bcs he tries )
and also a fuck you to johnny rook, elias carstairs, and valentine morgenstern. they can choke.
Valentine: Voyages are like children
Valentine: You delete the ones that don’t succeed
Jocelyn: wHat?