It'll Be Shit Like This And Then Right Next To It Is The Fluffiest, Silliest Ace Attorney Yaoi I've Ever

hey ;)

also sometimes i forget that all of the thoughts i put here are literally public and then i start tweaking out like "oh god what if i make friends on here and then they find out i'm a freak"

like i mean obviously i'm a freak by being on this side of tumblr but i'm still embarrassed by the level of it D:

this but they're all just completely impossible to interpret and understand, let alone put into words.

i wanna start just posting my unfiltered thoughts on here but most of them r like i need to have freaky nasty sex and then get brutally murdered and that’s about it

what are your thoughts on younger guys?

depends! i'm far more open to younger guys and guys my age than i am older. older men just tend to be gross or try to hard (and they tend to be selfish!)

but it depends on stuff like who they are, really. but i'm totally open to younger guys, i feel like that's something i haven't quite explored here yet.

i'd love to be an older brother :)

a mini-vent of my thoughts

i figure that i should put a kind of warning, even though the content isn't particularly triggering... mentions of f4uxc3st and stuff. and if you don't want to read a slightly depressive and introspective ramble, please just don't read it. thank you :)

i'm starting to think that my interest in f4uxc3st is spread primarily from the fact that i'm the youngest sibling of four. i suppose i just always felt like i've never gotten enough attention nor time alone with my thoughts, let alone talking to other people who i can share my thoughts and feelings with.

that and the feeling of being the youngest always made me wish i was older. the way i've always kind of forced myself into acting older than i am to connect with people who would actually understand me. i've always wanted to protect someone, to be an older sibling, but i've also never gotten the real experience of being treated to an actual childhood.

being autistic certainly hasn't helped that either. it's just forced me to feel ostracized from others and want a deeper connection to the people who are supposed to be closest to me.

or maybe i just think that it's hot! who knows??? and also i'm super mentally ill and have basically no concept of right and wrong beyond the basics!!

and this is my type when it comes to men (and i want it to be me SO BAD)

this is my type when it comes to women

(please don't explode me tumbles <3)

how big is your dick

7 inches.

aghhhhh i woke up sick to my stomach... why must the universe torture me like this?

anyway i had a really freaky dream but i can't remember it </3 i'll update tumblr if i do

shorty got me sayin oh my stars

anyways to wind down after something so deep, trying out some creative writing for once.

sorry if it's too slow or too boring or too repetitive. i'm not going to edit something i made for silly fun!!!

i'm really just... letting myself go for once and writing whatever comes to me. it's gonna be super disjointed and won't make any sense... and i'm not a dialogue writer!!!!!!!!!

pretty yet stern teacher who has a soft spot for me. praises me when i do a good job, spends time after class helping me understand things that i don't quite get... general special treatment. of course, it'd make me feel nice because i like receiving praise and validation. but slowly, it gets a little bit more physical over time. holding hands, guiding my pen strokes, putting her hands on my shoulders while i sit at my desk. of course, i don't really realize that what she's doing is weird because i'm comfortable enough with her to let her touch me.

it culminates in her asking me to attend a private tutoring session at her house, she gives me her address and a date and time. it's a bit late at night, but i'm a night owl anyway. her house is on the outskirts of town, a small, quiet little two-bed one-and-a-half-bath. i knock on the door and wait for her to open it. when she does, the foyer is dimly lit, carefully contouring her revealing outfit.

she invites me inside with the same gentle, kind smile that she wears in class. but it looks like there's something a little bit deeper there that i can't quite pick up on. i step inside, setting my backpack down by the door, still on the assumption that i'm here for a tutoring session. she covertly locks the door with a soft click, standing behind me. i hear her footsteps, but i'm still rifling through my backpack for my laptop and suddenly...

point of no return

i feel her hand on my shoulder, a slightly more lecherous touch than usual but i still don't quite pick up on the undertone. i smile back at her and stand up, laptop tucked carefully under my arm. she notices my studious demeanor and her breath catches in her throat for a moment, remembering her 'plan' with me. she takes her hand away and leads me over to the desk in the extra bedroom which she has turned into her office.

there's two chairs behind the desk and i take a seat at the one on the side, setting my laptop on top of the desk. i open it up to the study notes she assigned to the class while her hand slowly creeps up to rest on my arm. our thighs are practically touching, our breaths sharing the same space. i'm used to the touch, so i don't think much of it. she gently guides me through the notes one-on-one. her hand slides up my arm, onto my shoulder, down to my waist... until her fingers are brushing lightly against the inseam of my sweatpants.

it's now that i realize exactly how close we are, along with the way she's dressed. my eyes flicker over to her face... and although her own are focused on the notes, acting like there's nothing wrong, there's something darker lurking in her eyes that i don't quite have the knowledge to place. my gaze flickers down to her casual, yet provocative outfit. her plain t-shirt, the way it falls over her chest, the way the loose collar reveals her cleavage, even more being uncovered as she shifts slightly. i look down, noticing the way that our thighs are brushing, her own almost shaking under her miniskirt with hardly constrained desire.

i feel a sudden surge of anxiety, realizing that she's my TEACHER, for god's sake... even if she is pretty and smells so nice and is being so helpful. i look away, a fierce, burning blush staining on my cheeks. but it's too late... and she seems to notice the way that my face is bright red, the way my breathing is slightly heavie- oh? the slight tightness within my sweatpants becomes quite apparent.

she struggles to hide a slight smirk as she continues casually guiding me through the notes, knowing her plan is finally coming to fruition, that i find her desirable in the same way she finds me the same, even if her desire is stronger, more... taboo. after all, there are plenty of students who simply have a crush on their teacher, especially one who's been so helpful and patient. she creeps her hand up my thigh, her fingers brushing against the bulge that i was trying not to focus on. my eyes widen, my breath hitching in my throat as i look over at her, seeing her smirk.

my thoughts race for a moment... maybe i should run away, tell her that i don't want this, that it's wrong for her to do something like this. but my body betrays the fact that i really do want this. i'm frozen, caught between a rock and a hard place. but seeing her expression slowly darken, as if she's not going to let me leave, i know i don't have a choice in the matter.

she grips the bulge more firmly, the smirk growing wider as she knows that she's finally won—or rather, she won as soon as i stepped into her house—that she's finally letting her taboo desires claim victory over her body, that all her work has culminated in this very moment.

she leans in, breath hot against my ears as she whispers words of praise, telling me how i've always been so kind and attentive in class, the way my eyes light up when i understand the subject matter... and the way her skin seems to light on fire every time she sees it. before i know it, my laptop lays completely forgotten on the desk as she swings one of her thighs over my lap, straddling me, trapping me in place.

i look up at her with a war of emotions—fear, hesitation, lust, confusion—all on full display within my pupils. but she doesn't seem to care anymore. her own eyes seem to be flashing with a new light, an almost manic intensity that goes completely against the stern, yet helpful woman she typically portrays herself as. before i can even speak my grievances, i feel her lips against mine as she plunders my mouth with her tongue. i have no idea what to do, i've never kissed someone like this before and i simply... freeze up.

she breaks the kiss with a gasp as quickly as it came, rolling her hips against mine in a fervent, almost desperate pattern. she plants kisses on my jawline, my neck, as far down on my chest as her spine is allowed to stretch. she yanks my shirt over my head in a way that i can't even begin to stop her.

she tells me that she's never felt this way about anybody, especially a student. the thought gives me pause, but there's a small voice in the back of my head that feels validated, wanted... special, for once in my life. just like she always makes me feel. the voice grows louder and slowly—with the mental effort of punching directly through a brick wall— i bring my hands up to help her movements. her butt is firm, but i've never touched anyone like this before. it doesn't seem like she minds my inexperience, though. far from it.

she yanks her own shirt over her head, her breasts falling out of the garment with a slight jiggle. my face turns bright red, suddenly feeling even more nervous about the whole thing. but she guides my hands up to them, letting me grope and feel them, letting me learn how to please a woman, how to please her, just like any good boy should.

while i feel her breasts, her hands creep down my own chest, my stomach, until she slowly slips down my pants and underwear, freeing my sizeable length in a way that makes her lick her lips unconsciously. my breath catches in my throat, feeling exposed and violated... but also feeling a new rush of desire coursing through my veins. i want her to stop, to tell her that what she's doing is wrong, taboo, worse... but there's no getting through to her and a part of me doesn't even want to try.

she grinds her hips against it for a moment before lifting her skirt and revealing her lack of undergarments. it's the first time i've seen a woman's... th-thing! she knows that i've never done anything like this, she knows i'm a virgin (no i'm not a virgin in real life okay??) but she's not stopping when she's finally getting what she wants. she places the tip at her entrance and before i can stop her, she sinks down in one brutal, squelching slap.

I cry out in a mix of confusion, slight pain, pleasure, and overwhelming sensation. i instinctively cover my mouth to block out the sounds coming from within but she wastes no time in prying my hands from my face and pinning them to the side of the chair. she wants to hear the fruits of her labor, wants to hear me moan her name in pure ecstasy. every time i turn my face away, the moral side of me thinking better of this situation, she turns my head right back.

she rewards compliance with praise, with focusing on my enjoyment, with everything she can possibly give me. she punishes disobedience with fierce, possessive grips that border on pain, a stern voice, and guilt tripping. she tries to convince me that i've always wanted this, that i'm the one with these desires and i always have been. and god forbid, it works on a part of me.

the office is filled with a cacophony of lewd sounds—slapping of skin-on-skin, lewd moans coming from my teacher, small whimpers and moans falling from my lips—as she continues to ride me with reckless abandon that nearly causes the chair beneath us to collapse.

the feeling is overwhelming, incredible, terrifying and rapturous all at once. and it feels like it's building to a crescendo for the both of us. her silky walls are tightening, spasming slightly around me as her moans grow more desperate and wanton. it culminates in her practically screaming for me to breed her, to finish inside of her as she makes me hers completely... as if i had a choice anyway.

i grip onto the arm rests of the chair, my moans and whimpers getting louder and louder until finally... i can't hold on any longer. we achieve a simultaneous orgasm, the crescendo of pleasure bordering on pain in a way i can't describe.

eventually, the shared climax subsides and both of our breathing is heavy and hot. i look into her eyes as we come down from our high. she plants gentle kisses on my neck that still hold the same level of possessiveness and... care, in a sick and twisted way, that she seemed to be holding inside of her.

as we slowly get dressed, i feel a sudden urge to vomit, that what we just did was horrible... but as soon as i put my shirt back on, i feel a hand on my shoulder. she whispers into my ear, telling me to come back every Friday night for our "private tutoring sessions" and that if anyone finds out, we'll both pay. i can't help but nod, in spite of my resignations, both encouraged and terrified of what's to come.

i realize that my parents are probably worried about me since i'm out so late, so i grab my laptop and rush out into the foyer, tucking it back into my backpack. i feel my teacher's presence watching me with a smirk, knowing that i'm still the same studious, innocent boy as always... even if i'm a little bit less innocent thanks to her.

i unlock the door and head out into the cool, late night air, contemplating the situation i find myself in. caught between a rock and a hard place, between punishment and pleasure, even if i don't quite understand it just yet.