eloise-bgrts

Latest Posts by eloise-bgrts

rwrb bonus henry pov chapter!

go feral babes <3

part 2

part 3

the best thing i’ve ever seen on screaming meals

My favourite dynamic 🥰

“’…In sadness, cousin, I do love a woman.’ For a moment, I forgot which line of mine followed. We stared at each other, and the crowd faded around us into indistinct shadow and set dressing. With a jolt I remembered my words, but not quite the right ones. ‘Be ruled by me,’ I said, a few lines too soon. 'Forget to think of her.’”

— If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (ACT III, Scene 18)

Filippa deserves a raise

Look, I love James more than life itself. I would die and/or kill for the man. But Pip being able to put up with his lack of a filter for months following the murder is on a whole other level. She is the only one with the patience and level-headedness to keep the idiot from outing himself.

“’Is it just me,’ Alexander said, ‘or is this the longest day of everyone else’s life?’

‘Well,’ James said. ‘Certainly not Richard’s.’

Alexander gaped at him, eyes wide and glaring.

‘James,’ Meredith said. ‘What the fuck.’

Filippa breathed out in a hiss, rubbing her forehead. ‘We’re not doing this’.”

- If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (ACT III, Scene 3)

(Can I just ask, by the way, what the actual fuck was he trying to do here? Look, I have my own theories but most of them just fall back to, “James, you utter dumbass”)

And the one time Pip leaves him alone for more than an hour, he gets drunk and unintentionally spills his secrets to the woman most likely to rat him out.

(”You don’t think Wren would have ratted him out???” You think Wren has the mental willpower to go to the cops? She’d go to Filippa first, if anything, and Pip would just say she was overreacting. And she’d believe her. Then Pip would kick James’ ass over it)

I seriously hope James treated her to some fancy ass dinner at least once for the weight she had to help him carry during those months.

Can we talk about Wren?

Okay, so this question has been plaguing me ever since I finished If We Were Villains and I want to know if anyone else has any opinions.

How much does Wren really know about what happened that night?

We obviously know the basic facts about the night of Richard’s death, but I want to focus in on when James, Filippa, and Wren are all huddled up in Wren’s room, trying to comfort her.

This heart of absolute gold literally begs James to go out into the woods to find Richard so he doesn’t do something stupid. Now, from Wren’s perspective, we see James leave the room with the intention of finding Richard. He’s gone for maybe an hour or two, long enough for Pip to get worried and go out to look for him, so now Wren is alone in her room. She knows James (and now Filippa) are both in the woods, looking for Richard.

A few (probably) hours pass when suddenly, I’m assuming, Filippa comes into Wren’s room to tell her something bad has just happened and she needs to get to the lake asap. I’m assuming Pip is the one who tells her because by the time Oliver and Meredith get down there, everyone else is standing around and Pip was the one who summoned those two.

So, in Wren’s mind, the course of actions were: James leaves to find Richard, Filippa leaves to find James (and Richard), time passes, Filippa retrieves Wren from her room, and they all find Richard dead dying in the lake.

Now, when they all agree to let Richard die, they start discussing their separate stories. Where they were at the time of the murder. And Wren makes the statement:

“They’re going to want to know why one of us didn’t go after him.”

- If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (Act III, Scene 1)

…What’s that supposed to mean, Wren? Weren’t you the one who begged James to go find Richard? And didn’t he leave with the sole intention of doing that? What do you mean no one went to go look for him when you know full well that James did?

My theory: Wren knew the whole time. Maybe not everything, but she’s not stupid. It’s too much of a coincidence. And I don’t know what story James and Filippa would have told her to make her think they were innocent, so I’m thinking Wren, like Pip, wanted to protect James.

“She didn’t speak, didn’t even open her mouth–just nodded, slowly. Yes.”

-  If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (Act III, Scene 1)

I don’t think she knew the full story, but there is no way she didn’t think James and/or Filippa were hiding more than they were letting on.

This also might be part of the reason why Richard’s death was having such an effect on her. Obviously, losing a family member would be hard on anyone, but the fact that only Wren and James were diagnosed with PTSD and went through the most changes after the death seems very telling.

Not to mention Walton’s later suspicions about Wren:

“My money’s on the cousin,”

-  If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (Act III, Scene 11)

Which, like, come on, man. She’s been through enough!

So, if she knew, to some degree, who was really guilty, I’m curious about her reaction to Oliver getting arrested.

“Alexander’s face was so full of sadness that there was no room left for surprise. In Filippa’s expression there was only a desperate kind of confusion. In Wren’s, emptiness. In Meredith’s, something violent I couldn’t find a word to describe. And on James’s face, despair.”

- If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (Act V, Scene 7)

I think the fact that Wren never came to visit Oliver is telling, at least. Was she too guilty, like James, for letting Oliver take the fall? Did she think the whole time James was covering for Oliver? What does she really think happened that night and when does she confront James about it?

She has to have found out the actual truth at some point because, come on, who really wants to hide something like that from the victims family forever?

I just want to know how much she knew and for how long because I think seeing this story from Wren’s POV would be so interesting. At least these scenes.

“My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself...”

Okay. Entertain me for a second.

James Farrow is a man who believes he deserves to rot forever for what he’s done. He thinks all he’s allowed to do with his life is suffer because of how many lives he’s ruined throughout his last year at Dellecher. 

So, when he (in theory) fakes his death and inevitably chooses a new name to go by, what would be the most painful?

Oliver? Sure. A few fanfics have entertained that thought and I do love that concept of he can never escape what he did to Oliver.

However, picture this:

James Farrow, going about his normal day in a whole other city, state, or even country, leaving his best friends to all believe he’s dead. He’s left his home for the first time in weeks because maybe he needs to get groceries, there’s a play showing nearby, whatever reason it may be, when all of a sudden he hears someone call his name…

“Richard!”

No matter what he decides to do in the four years he’s “dead”, Richard is always there. He hears his name every day, unable to escape, unable to forget. Being stuck in a constant cycle of grief, guilt, and agony. Giving Richard exactly what he wants: seeing James in pain.

Tell me he wouldn’t do it. Tell me he wouldn’t go by Richard’s name just to punish himself even more 6-10 years after the murder. Tell me he wouldn’t think of Richard Stirling every single time he hears that name, feeling Richard’s presence, hearing his taunting on that day.

Tell me he wouldn’t choose the one name that would undoubtedly torment him for as long as he owns it.

For my partner who won’t read this...

Hello. So, my partner, who I love very dearly, is currently in the slow process of reading If We Were Villains because truthfully I. Will. Not. Shut. Up.

And they absolutely love to push my buttons because they know how much I love this book and just want to see me biting my tongue to not give them spoilers that prove their theories wrong.

One of their all-time favorite things to say is that they don’t believe me when I say James is gay.

“If he doesn’t specifically say ‘I’m gay’ in the book, I don’t count it.”

Okay, fair. Do I believe James is 100% gay? Maybe, maybe not. However, the man is queer as hell and since my morals won’t allow me to spoil anything to them, I’m gonna rant about it here.

Welcome to GardenSprout’s Top Ten James-Is-Gay Moments of IWWV!

“I was convinced I had survived the third-year purge because James would have been moody and sullen without me.”

- If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (Act I, Scene 1)

Sixteen pages in and Oliver is telling us readers that James values him enough to have thrown a hissy fit and boycotted the rest of the year if Gwendolyn and Fredrick had kicked out his boyfriend best friend. Sure, you could take this as platonic “I want to act with my bestie”, but knowing what we do at the end of the book, I highly doubt it’s that simple. James is a wonder to behold and there is no way it was just “I’m gonna miss my roommate” depression.

“He spent a month prowling around our room in the dark before he was sufficiently absorbed in the role to pounce on me in my sleep.”

- If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (Act I, Scene 9)

…

Does this look like a straight man to you?

I rest my case.

Moving on:

    “‘Now,’ Camilo said, putting one hand on each of our shoulders, ‘you two are famously good friends, aren’t you?’     We smirked at each other.”

- If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (Act I, Scene 9)

If that isn’t a “sharing a secret” look, then I don’t know what is. These two already know they are way more than “famously good friends”, but that’s way too much to get into, so they just give that look. A look is all you need sometimes.

“He smeared the blood around my face and chest and shoulders, rakes his fingers through my hair to make it stand on end.”

- If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (Act I, Scene 12)

For this moment, I would actually like to call attention to a comment said partner made that completely deflates their entire argument.

So, they were skimming through the book to help me look for something and stumbled across this little scene here. After reading this one section, knowing zero context at all, they said:

“The fact that this is so unnecessarily intimate made me know it was James.”

I spent, like, 5 minutes laughing after that.

However, only a queer person knows how to make pouring gross-smelling fake blood over your same sex roommate/best friend intimate.

    “A warm hand landed on the back of my neck; I didn’t know whose. … ‘Breathe, Oliver.’     I unclenched my jaw and inhaled. James’s hand slid to my shoulder.”

- If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (Act II, Scene 6)

For context: this is the scene during opening night of Julius Caesar where Richard smacks Oliver in the ear, right before Oliver, James, and Alex form the plan to get revenge.

Does James have to touch him to help Oliver feel better? No. Does he do it anyway? Adorably, yes.

Okay, arguably, this scene more shows Oliver being gay for James, but come on. How is this moment straight?

*Clears throat*

Don’t ask me how many quotes from the “Thanksgiving in Ohio” scene I’m about to pull out.

“His mouth inched shyly toward a grin. ‘We’re not such strange bedfellows.’“

- If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (Act III, Scene 9)

Honestly, do I need anymore evidence? This man shows up out of the blue to Oliver’s home because Oliver. Is. His. Safe. Place. This man has just murdered a man in self defense and his first thought after “I don’t wanna bother anyone so I’ll just go to Broadwater” is “I want Oliver”. Oliver even says that he looked “more like himself than he had in weeks” right after asking to share the bed.

At this point, I firmly believe I have enough evidence, but this is my SlytherClaw partner so I’m gonna keep going.

“He said it so readily that he must have been thinking of it, too. I almost laughed and turned to find him pulling back the comforter, eyes brighter than they’d been before.”

- If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (Act III, Scene 9)

Context: Del Norte. The fact that they were both thinking about it at the same time. They fell asleep naked on a beach, reciting freaking Pericles and drinking out of a wine bottle. If that’s not a gay date, I don’t know what is.

“‘Who’s your boyfriend, Oliver?’ … ‘I’m James. Lovely to meet you both.’“

“If he was at all embarrassed, he didn’t let on.”

- If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (Act III, Scene 10)

Combining these two quotes cuz they kinda go hand in hand. This man is so casual over the concept of “being Oliver’s boyfriend” and I firmly believe he reacted like that to see Oliver’s reaction. I bet you anything that man was not embarrassed, but actually thrived off of being seen as his boyfriend. Not to mention his casual jealousy when mentioning Meredith.

“His palm was pressed against my shirt, his fingers splayed across my collarbone. I waited for him to pull me closer or push me away. But he only stared at his hand, like it was something strange he’d never seen before.”

- If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (Act IV, Scene 7)

They almost kissed. I want to know how this scene evolved after Oliver stopped narrating and how James started acting once he stepped back. I’m sorry, I live for awkward, flustered James Farrow.

“If they’d had claws they would have mauled each other … I wanted to look away but I couldn’t – it was like watching a car crash.”

- If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (Act IV, Scene 9)

If you’re really desperate for context: James and Meredith making out for 5 seconds in the middle of class.

Look, there are m a n y quotes I could have pulled from this trainwreck of a moment, but they all revert back to one specific vibe. This scene gives “gay man being forced/forcing himself to like a woman” and it makes me uncomfy. Nothing about this scene gives me the feeling of James was actually experiencing everything Gwendolyn was telling him he felt. He is repulsed by her because of 1. the stunt she’d pulled on him in their first year and 2. he is subconsciously fighting with her about Oliver. He’s not into this!

And he exited the room immediately. I bet he felt disgusted with himself after pulling that, not to mention guilty that Oliver had to watch it. It was just a big bag of yikes all around and no one enjoyed it.

“I think he was so enamored with you because you were so enamored with him.”

- If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (Act V, Prologue)

Colborne is a straight man and even he can see that these idiots were obsessed with each other.

“Wren, come up to bed with me, please.”

- If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (Act V, Scene 2)

He does not want her. He is doing this to spite Oliver and no other reason. He even looks over at Oliver and his expression is described as “strange and bitter and vindictive”. He is running on spite alone. And guilt, but that one’s obvious.

“’Why don’t you and Oliver just admit you’re queer for each other and leave my girls alone?’”

- If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (Act V, Scene 5)

Sure, take whatever bs Richard says with a grain of salt, but if we’re talking about undeniable evidence, here ya go.

“He stared up at me for a moment, then lifted his head and pulled me down to meet him. It was almost a brotherly kiss, but not quite. Too fragile, too painful.”

- If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (Act V, Scene 6)

We’re gonna casually ignore Oliver being an idiot by saying this was “almost brotherly” and just focus on James. This man full well knows he’s going to prison as soon as Colborne asks him anything. He is fully prepared to throw his life away the second he’s confronted. So, in his mind, this is the last chance he will ever have to kiss Oliver and give him some kind of sign of everything he’s ever felt about him.

“When I refused again, he pulled my hand across the table, kissed it, and turned to leave.”

- If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (Act V, Scene 7)

I have to reread these damn scenes for this and I am in pain. Six freaking years later and James is still holding onto Oliver, still in love, still begging him to let him take his place. I feel for him so much and I just want to hug him.

“And he said, ‘What are you thinking about?’ I said, ‘The same thing you’re thinking about.’ We didn’t even need to say your name.”

- If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (Act V, Epilogue)

He was thinking about Oliver while kissing Meredith. There is no doubt in my mind that the reason James kissed her (then and during Gwendolyn’s class) is the same reason Meredith gives Oliver during this scene: trying to understand him.

And, finally, undeniably:

“‘I knew then, I just pretended not to.’ ‘So did I. So did he.’“

- If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio (Act V, Epilogue)

Oliver “Oblivious-fur-seal” Marks finally admitting to himself as well as someone else that he knew the entire time that James was in love with him. If you had figured this out ten years ago, Oliver, none of this would have happened and you and James would be living in some cute apartment building with all of your friends being successful Shakespeare actors, but no. You thought you were in love with Meredith.

*Sigh* Men.

Anyway, if you read this entire rant, well done. Sorry for repeating things you already knew. If anyone has more moments I missed, please let me know cuz I’d love to highlight them in my book, but yeah. Have this stream of consciousness, I guess.

If We Were Villains Fifth Edition Spoilers!

Totally forgot to post about this when I got it but OH MY GODDDDDD!! I LOVE ITTTTTT!

Also, look at James. Look at this man. I can’t even. I’m in love.

If We Were Villains - M. L. Rio

★ ★ ★ ★ ★/5

Man, I forgot what a good story this is. The setting, magnificent, the pacing, amazing, the characters, deeply troubled but I love them. This book follows 7 theater majors (yes, I know, yikes) in their senior year at this highly exclusive arts school somewhere in northeastern united states. These 7 have been through thick and thin and are as close as siblings- if siblings murdered each other. The story starts off with Oliver getting out of prison after being locked up for 10 years. He was convicted of Richard's murder, his fellow classmate, but that's not all true. The author weaves such a story with these characters it's amazing. They are actors specialized in Shakespeare, so much so they don't really know who they are. This book is very queer coded between Oliver and James (who we later find out is the actual murderer) and their relationship is so dysfunctional it's easy to see why Oliver took the blame. This book is so dramatic it parallels the famous plays it mentions. I truly enjoy this book every time I reread it and definitely consider it one of my favorites.

the facts that there's still not a reunion fic on isildur and elendil is making me mad af

sewis and a few of my favorite moments of their shared career

1. “don’t let off, i need you fighting with me next year.” “i promise.” 2. “what was the turning point in your relationship with lewis? “maybe baku 2017.” 3. “he drove a nice race, put me under a lot of pressure and i really enjoyed that. we share great respect amongst each other.” 4. “we’re witnessing you making history.” 5. “lewis is the greatest of our era.” 

i don’t know about you guys, but i have a few questions.

AU: your camera roll but you’re married to Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw (headcanons)

Jaskier gave in to the puppy eyes

drivers having no braincells in the latest grill the grid

full video of esteban congratulating fernando<3

rip the umbrella

Esteban's team radio after the race ☹

"Don't push me, I'm gonna cry." ☹

Oc Asks Game

So I decided to make this because I want to get to know my OCs better and all of yours as well. Here is a short collection of asks but here is the rule: Reblog from somebody and you have to send them an ask, its only polite after all.

What is your character's reaction to a minor inconvenience? Such as getting their jumper caught on a door handle?

Tea, coffee, hot chocolate or other?

What does their safe space look like?

What do they consider to be an unforgivable action? Why?

Do they have any nicknames or pet names or other aliases?

What kind of books comfort them? What books help them heal after a hard day?

Are they a naturally assertive person or are they painfully shy?

Do they consider themselves a friendly person or aloof?

What is your character's trigger point? What makes them angry, sad or makes them go off?

What kind of jokes make them laugh?

Do they enjoy pranks or do they hate them? Are they likely to fall for a prank?

Are they an overall healthy person? Do they make for a good patient or a terror?

Describe your character's typical wardrobe for the regular day.

Are they a simple person to please or difficult?

What is the first thing people notice about them?

What do they look for in a friend? A love interest?

Who are they soft for? Do they find being soft easy or difficult?

Describe your character through a Brooklyn 99 gif or line.

What does your character consider to be their lowest point?

Does your character have a comfort item?

What would be one item that they would hate to lose most?

What are their eating habits like? Do they snack throughout the day? Or do they eat sparsely?

What is your character's favourite food and who cooks it best?

What are your character's special skills?

What are somethings they find difficult to do? Or say?

Are they an animal person? Do they have pets?

What are their opinions on children? Do they view children as sweet angels or evil crotch goblins?

If your character was in today's world, what social media platforms would they avoid? Or be prominent on?

Are they an organised person? Or more laissez-faire?

Do they dwell better in chaotic situations or more linear situations?

Your character has been invited to a masquerade ball. What mask do they wear?

Your character is having a prom night/debs. What kind of outfit do they wear?

How do they act around people they don't know? Are they shy around strangers or dismissive of them?

Can your character drive? If so, what kind of driver are they? If not what's their preferred manner of transport?

What attracts your character to another person? What kind of person do they do for?

Tell us something about your OC that doesn't make it onto the page?

Your character has been kidnapped. Who has kidnapped them and how do they escape?

How does your character unwind after a long day?

What's your character's guilty pleasure?

Your character's friend has just been mugged. What's their reaction?

Your character has been punched into the face. What's their reaction?

Does your character celebrate their birthday? If not, why?

What is the DND alignment?

Hogwarts House?

Star Sign?

Does your character believe in anything? Religion? Superstition?

What is your character's reaction when someone does something nice for them?

Is your character easy to make cry? Or angry? Or annoyed?

What is your character's biggest fear? Most irrational?

How does your sleep at night? Are they a heavy or light sleeper? Do they dream or have nightmares? Do they find it easy to sleep or are they more a night owl?

Words to describe someone’s voice

adenoidal (adj) :  some of the sound seems to come through their nose.

appealing (adj): voice shows that you want help, approval, or agreement.

breathy (adj): with loud breathing noises.

booming (adj): very loud and attention-getting.

brittle (adj): if you speak in a brittle voice, you sound as if you are about to cry.

croaky (adj): they speak in a low, rough voice that sounds as if they have a sore throat.

grating (adj): a grating voice, laugh, or sound is unpleasant and annoying.

gravelly (adj): a gravelly voice sounds low and rough.

high-pitched (adj): true to its name, a high-pitched voice or sound is very high.

honeyed (adj): honeyed words or a honeyed voice sound very nice, but you cannot trust the person who is speaking.

matter-of-fact (adj): usually used if the person speaking knows what they are talking about (or absolutely think they know what they are talking about).

penetrating (adj): a penetrating voice is so high or loud that it makes you slightly uncomfortable.

raucous (adj): a raucous voice or noise is loud and sounds rough.

rough (adj): a rough voice is not soft and is unpleasant to listen to.

shrill (adj): a shrill voice is very loud, high, and unpleasant.

silvery (adj): this voice is clear, light, and pleasant.

stentorian (adj): a stentorian voice sounds very loud and severe.

strangled (adj): a strangled sound is one that someone stops before they finish making it.

strident (adj): this voice is loud and unpleasant.

thick (adj): if your voice is thick with an emotion, it sounds less clear than usual because of the emotion.

tight (adj): shows that you are nervous or annoyed.

toneless (adj): does not express any emotion.

wheezy (adj): a wheezy noise sounds as if it is made by someone who has difficulty breathing.

Words to describe facial expressions

Absent: preoccupied 

Agonized: as if in pain or tormented

Alluring: attractive, in the sense of arousing desire

Appealing: attractive, in the sense of encouraging goodwill and/or interest

Beatific: blissful

Black: angry or sad, or hostile

Bleak: hopeless

Blinking: surprise, or lack of concern

Blithe: carefree, lighthearted, or heedlessly indifferent

Brooding: anxious and gloomy

Bug eyed: frightened or surprised

Chagrined: humiliated or disappointed

Cheeky: cocky, insolent

Cheerless: sad

Choleric: hot-tempered, irate

Darkly: with depressed or malevolent feelings

Deadpan: expressionless, to conceal emotion or heighten humor

Despondent: depressed or discouraged

Doleful: sad or afflicted

Dour: stern or obstinate

Dreamy: distracted by daydreaming or fantasizing

Ecstatic: delighted or entranced

Faint: cowardly, weak, or barely perceptible

Fixed: concentrated or immobile

Gazing: staring intently

Glancing: staring briefly as if curious but evasive

Glazed: expressionless due to fatigue or confusion

Grim: fatalistic or pessimistic

Grave: serious, expressing emotion due to loss or sadness

Haunted: frightened, worried, or guilty

Hopeless: depressed by a lack of encouragement or optimism

Hostile: aggressively angry, intimidating, or resistant

Hunted: tense as if worried about pursuit

Jeering: insulting or mocking

Languid: lazy or weak

Leering: sexually suggestive

Mild: easygoing

Mischievous: annoyingly or maliciously playful

Pained: affected with discomfort or pain

Peering: with curiosity or suspicion

Peeved: annoyed

Pleading: seeking apology or assistance

Quizzical: questioning or confused

Radiant: bright, happy

Sanguine: bloodthirsty, confident

Sardonic: mocking

Sour: unpleasant

Sullen: resentful

Vacant: blank or stupid looking

Wan: pale, sickly

Wary: cautious or cunning

Wide eyed: frightened or surprised

Withering: devastating

Wrathful: indignant or vengeful

Wry: twisted or crooked to express cleverness or a dark or ironic feeling

If only I could have done the whole song

take my hand (take my whole life too)

pairing: ivan/fedyor word count: 500+ a/n: prompt taken from this prompt list, feel free to send me one! the prompt was: “If you tell me to calm down one more time, I’m going to very calmly feed you your own intestines.” and for some reason my brain immediately went WEDDING NERVES. i hope you enjoy!!

“You’re fine,” Zoya says, watching as Ivan paces the length of the small dressing room they’re currently holed up in.

Ivan glares at her, and resolutely continues pacing. “You don’t know that. What if I stumble? What if someone accidentally sets the cake on fire? What if he says no?”

Zoya rolls her eyes, and inspects her freshly manicured nails. “He’s not going to say no, he’s the one who proposed to you in the first place, you idiot.” Ivan opens his mouth to protest, but Zoya holds up one of her fingers. “And no, I’m pretty sure he has not changed his mind in the meantime. Just calm down, please.”

Ivan glares at her more intensely. “If you tell me to calm down one more time, I’m going to very calmly feed you your own intestines.”

“Fun,” Zoya deadpans, and hops off the dresser she had been sitting on. “But I’m serious Ivan. He loves the ever loving shit out of you, for some reason I will never be able to grasp. He’s not going to say no, you’re not going to stumble, and I’ll personally make sure no one is setting the cake on fire.”

“Who’s setting the cake on fire?” A voice from the doorway asks. Ivan knows who it is before he even turns around, smiling as he comes face to face with his soon to be husband.

“I thought it was bad luck to see the groom before the ceremony?” he asks, though he can’t help but smile softly in Fedyor’s directions.

Fedyor shrugs, a little bashful. “I could hear your heartbeat spiking. I was worried.”

“Ivan’s just being a bit of an idiot,” Zoya says. And then, sensing the need for privacy, she adds, “anyway, I have been tasked with making sure no one sets the damned cake on fire, so let me just… Deal with that or whatever.” And flounces out of the room.

“Is that why your heartbeat was all over the place? The cake? Because I just walked past it and it looks amazing,” Fedyor says, stepping closer to his fiancé.

Ivan shakes it head. “No, I was just. Worried, I guess. Scared something was going to go wrong today.”

Fedyor smiles softly. “Honestly, Ivan, even if everything went wrong, and Volcra attacked this place right now, I wouldn’t even care. All I care about is you, and the fact that you are about to be my husband. The rest is all background noise.”

Ivan reaches forward and lightly touches Fedyor’s cheek. He can hear Fedyor’s heart beating steadily in his chest, and he doesn’t think he’s ever heard a more beautiful sound. “You always know exactly the right thing to say.”

Fedyor shrugs, “I try.” He leans forward then, softly touching his lips to Ivan. It’s barely a kiss, but it’s a clear promise for more, later. “Now, are you ready to knock everyone off their socks with how ridiculously good looking you are?”

Ivan laughs. “I think that’s your job, actually.”

Fedyor grins at him, slips his hand into Ivan’s, and gently drags him towards the door. Towards their waiting guests, towards food and drinks and laughter, towards their future.

–

(No one ends up setting the cake on fire. One of the Inferni does end up drunkenly setting one of the flower arrangements on fire towards the end of the night, but at that point Ivan is too drunk on champagne and happiness and Fedyor to really care about it much.)

kiss him goodbye

pairing: fedyor/ivan word count: 500+ a/n: hi, i’m back, this time with a little drabble about fedyor and ivan saying goodbye right before fedyor goes to find nina and ivan goes with the darkling to find alina. also known as ‘foreshadowing: the drabble’ hope you enjoy!

Fedyor leaves the Darkling’s office with an uneasy feeling in his stomach. Sure, they have been split up before, gone on separate missions countless times, but this feels different. There’s a Sun Summoner now, which makes the stakes feel like a billion times higher than they used to be. There’s always been danger, but this time it feels almost tangible.

He follows the faint sound of Ivan’s heartbeat straight to the garden, where he finds Ivan staring out into the forest surrounding the Little Palace.

“What did he say?” Ivan asks, when Fedyor is withing speaking distance. His back is still toward Fedyor, and he can see the tension in Ivan’s shoulder. His hands are clasped behind his back, his knuckles unnaturally white. He’s clearly very tense, and Fedyor is pretty sure what he has to say isn’t going to make it any better.

“I’m going to the west coast, and then north. Arkesk, if we can make it,” he says, as he comes to a halt next to Ivan. And then, even though he’s pretty sure the other man already knows, “He wants you to stay here. Special mission.”

Ivan hums. “We’re tracking the Sun Summoner. Darkling thinks she’s headed north, for some reason.” He pauses for a second, and then. “You’ll have to travel through the fold.” He doesn’t sound worried, but Fedyor can hear the uptick in his heart, can see the worry lines in the corners of his eyes.

“I’ll be fine,” Fedyor says, trying to sound assuring, trying to hide the fact he himself is still absolutely terrified of the fold. “It won’t be my first crossing.”

“The fold doesn’t become safer the more you pass through it,” Ivan says, tension in his voice. “I can’t help thinking about what would happen if-“

“Hey,” Fedyor says, interrupting him. He turns towards his husband, placing a hand on his cheek. “I’ll be fine. If anything, I’m comforted by the fact you don’t have to travel through the fold. You’ve always had a penchant for trouble, after all. The less time you spend in that damned place, the better.” Ivan frowns at him, and Fedyor can’t help but run his thumb over the creases by his eyes. “I’ll be back before you know it. I promise.”

“Still don’t like it,” Ivan grumbles, but the tension is his shoulders seems to have eased a little bit.

“Well, maybe try focusing on things you do like,” Fedyor says, eyes sparkling. “Like me.”

Ivan sends him a deadpan look, but leans closer anyway. “You are ridiculous.”

“And?” Fedyor asks, running his thumb over Ivan’s cheek.

Ivan grumbles a little and then says, “And I love you very much.”

Fedyor grins, delighted. “I love you too,” he says, and then leans in to kiss his husband.

As far as goodbye kisses go, it’s pretty spectacular. When Fedyor does finally pull away, Ivan’s heartrate is way up and there’s  a flush on his cheeks. “I’m going to miss you,” Fedyor says, earnestly.

Ivan nods, but that’s all Fedyor needs to know he’s going to miss him, too. “Stay safe.”

“Always,” he says, pressing one last kiss to Ivan’s lips.

He’s already halfway to the fold when he realizes he never told Ivan to stay safe back. Usually he always does, but it must’ve slipped his mind this time. He shrugs it off. Ivan’s only going on a trip north to retrieve the Sun Summoner. Really, what’s the worst that could happen?

WHY ARE THEY LITERALLY MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS LMAOO

my love. just a small fic of Fedyor and Ivan, my beloved heartrender husbands.

warnings for the fic: none, small spoilers for the show

[1K>]

"Do you think it's really her? The Sun Summoner?" Fedyor scurries after Ivan, when the man leaves the General's tent.

Ivan looks at the heartrender for a second, then continues to march toward the black carriage.

"I don't know and I don't care. We have orders to bring her to the Little Palace."

Fedyor doesn't loose his childish enthusiasm and smile at Ivan's brooding mood. He keeps pace with his partner.

"Well, I think it's her. I hope it's her."

"Hope is a dangerous thing, Fedyor." Ivan warns him.

He doesn't want his partner to be disappointed, if the young woman turns out to be a fraud. Even though they've seen what she can do in the tent, Ivan has his doubts.

The younger man turns to look at him, walking backwards to keep pace with the ophrichniki. A wide smile on his face.

"Oh, cheer up, my love. If General Kirigan believes she is the Sun Summoner, then so do I."

Fedyor almost trips in his kefta, but Ivan catches his arm and keeps him up. He turns the man around, to walk properly. Fedyor's heart thrums in his chest and Ivan smiles for a second then lets his hand go.

"Fine. If that makes you happy, so be it." He says with a monotone voice, his expression changing back to brooding.

Fedyor nods, a bright smile on his face and he marches forward to stop at the carriage. Ivan looks at the man's back and smiles to himself, shaking his head. His partner does need to be more careful, but saints, if he didn't love him for his enthusiasm.

tags: @seldomabsent , @heartrender-husbands (send an ask/reply if you want to be tagged in future fics)

heartrender husbands AU where fedyor gets taken by a group of drüskelle while on a mission and ivan hearing about it and going absolutely feral. just imagine him going after the drüskelle alone and tracking fedyor like a rabid bloodhound by following the sound of his heartbeat because ivan knows he's capable of telling fedyor's heartbeat apart from thousands of others. it sings to him and he's going to follow it until he finds him.

Ivan x Fedyor

(for Leslie & Jordy - Captains of the Fivan ship)

“Are you sure you’re not injured anywhere else?” Ivan presses, his eyes scanning Fedyor’s body as if he can sense a hidden injury.

Fedyor rolls his eyes but does wince when he strains his wound. He presses the bruise on his side where the bullet struck his Kefta, thanking the Saints once again that the Fabrikator’s made them bulletproof. Damn Fjerdans. “Stop fussing. You’d know if I had worse than this.” He reminds the Heartrender next to him.

“I thought... for a second there I thought that you’d... well it didn’t look good.” Ivan manages to mutter, looking down at his hands and brushing away a piece of invisible lint on his sleeve.

Fedyor allows his expression to soften. “Hey...” He says softly. “Look at me.” He grips Ivan’s chin between his finger and his thumb forcing the other man to meet his eyes. “I’m okay, Ivan.” Fedyor tells him with a nod of reassurance.

Ivan meets his gaze and finally nods along with him, seeming to accept that the younger man in front of him truly is okay. Unable to tear his face from the brown eyes in front of him, Ivan allows himself to inch closer a millimetre, the world outside their tent disappearing. “I don’t know what I would do if... if something happened to you, Solnishko.” He stroked a thumb over Fedyor’s cheek.

Fedyor flushes slightly at the nickname but moves to cup Ivan’s face with his hand fully. “You’ll have to stop calling me that when the Sun Summoner is around.” He teases as an attempt to lighten the mood.

Ivan just shakes his head stubbornly. “No.” He states. “You were my little sunshine first. You will be my little sunshine last.”

The younger man smiles softly, his eyes glimmering with unspent tears. Fedyor does the only thing he can think of - he leans forward and presses his lips against Ivan’s softly, caressing his cheek with his hand and pouring his devotion into his partners waiting mouth. “Big softie.” He whispers when they part, for heads pressed together.

“Only for you, Solnishko.” Ivan responds, before raising both hands and pulling Fedyor back to his lips, fully immersing himself in his partners heartbeat.

The pair fall asleep in each other’s arms, the gentle lull of their heartbeats offering a soft melody to distract from the chaos that the Sun Summoner had brought into their world. Tomorrow, they’d be fighters again; officers in the Second Army and protectors of the Sun Saint. But for tonight, they would allow themselves to be nothing but in love with the other; two Heartrenders whose hearts beat only for each other.