Latest Posts by faceless-words - Page 3

A ray of hope

A little ray of hope

lighting up your heart.

A little ray of hope

brightening your spirits.

A little ray of hope

flikering in the shadows,

showing you the way to light,

when you're drowning in sorrows.

A hope that shows you,

you can fly so high.

A hope that tells you,

you can touch the starry sky.

A hope that brings

the twinkle in your eyes.

A hope that augments

the love in your heart.

That little ray of hope,

that you guard with your life,

makes all the difference,

between being dead and being alive.

Already lost

I don't know how I'm holding it together

The cluster of mismatched pieces

I don't know how I'm still standing

Though I am limping all the way

I know you feel those too

The anger, the frustration, the pain and all others

But why do you pass it my way?

Do you think I'm unbreakable?

I wish I was,

I wish I could take everything you give.

But I am a weak thing,

I have to battle every day just to survive

And,

Every time I have to face the reality of life

I lose it

Every time you take your anger out on me

I lose it

Every time I hear the screams of your suffering

I lose it

But you see

Even with all these factors telling me to give up

I always had a reason to fight

But now,

I can't remember it anymore.

Evanescence

Why does it matter that

I leave my footprints in the sand

If it can't even survive a wave of sea water...

Why does it matter that,

I leave the traces of my being

If one day,

It's going to be blown by the wind...

Why does it matter that

I inscribe my name

On a rock at the peak of that mountain

If one day,

it's going to fade with the inexorable rain...

Why does it matter that

I mark my space in the minds of others

When the memories you hold

Are not even loyal to you...

Why does it matter

That I make myself

A little more significant than others

If everything in this world

Evanesces with time anyway...

You showed me the sky

You showed me the stars

You showed me the boundless universe

And it's endless possibilities

You told me there is a world

Beyond everything I've known

Tales of wonder

And lands of dreams..

And when I gathered my wings

Ready to take the flight

You told me, you don't want me to fly?

It's amazing, isn't it?

How a little distance

can change your perception of life

Showing you the whole picture

Not just the pieces with terrible colour

It's amazing, isn't it?

How a little pause in your life

Is exactly what you need

When you've lost

all hopes to win the race

To reflect on your flaws

Or to gain some insights

It's amazing, isn't it?

How a higher altitude

Makes the world seem beautiful

Hiding the ugly cracks

It shows a picturesque wall

Evil Place Called Mind

I stare into the void,

Lost in my head.

I scream from inside,

I beg for help.

It's an bottomless abyss,

An endless maze.

As the tendrils of evil thoughts,

Drags me down,

Deeper and deeper,

To some dark unknown place.

I look at the sky,

Grasping the hanging roots of sanity,

I pray to God,

For some semblance of reality.

But the sky still remains dark,

As it throws back my plea,

As if saying I'm not worthy enough,

For the life given to me.

I lose my grip on sanity,

Losing all hope,

As a firm tendril yanks me down,

Trapping me somewhere I can't get out of.

It's the evil place called my mind.

Hopes

Are like dust

I try to stay away

Not to let it fog my mind

But they still cling to me

I try to get rid of it,

Every

Last

Particle

But the next day

I end up with more of them

Sprayed in my eyes.

Those moments when...

I've learned to live alone

And loneliness doesn't get to me anymore,

Except in those moments....

When I wake up in the middle of the night

And find the space on my right

Empty and cold...

When I'm going to work

And on the way pass the abandoned factory

Where we used to sneak up as kids...

When I'm frustrated at the world

Or confused what to do

And my first thought is to call you....

When I'm laughing hysterically

And I suddenly stop the moment

Because you're not here to share it with me...

When people tell me their plans for the night

And I think about my home

And the silence waiting there to greet me....

When I'm lost in my thoughts

And subconsciously call out your name

And no one is there to answer me back.....

When I see a shooting star

And I wonder in silence

If you're still wishing on them

Or have you stopped believing in wishes?

*****

( Hindi alert)

Akele rehna sikh liya maine,

Ab to tanhai se bhi ek rishta sa ban gaya hai.

Shibaye un lamhon main....

Jab adhi raat ko aankh khul jati hai

Aur tumhare jagah suni bistar meelti hai

Jab baton hi baton main tumhari yaad aa jati hai

Aur tumhare na hona ka ehsas chubhne lagta hai

Jab anjane main ye lab tumhare naam le lete hain

Aur jabab main inhen sirf sannata hi milta hai

Jab koi sabal pareshan karta hai

Aur jabab main tumhara naam yaad ata hai

Jab mandir main kabhi dua mangne jati hun

Aur har dua main tumhara hi naam hota hai

Aur jab kabhi bhi asman main

Ek toota hua tara dikhta hai

Main sochti hu,

Dunia ki kisi kone main

Kahin tum bhi ise dekhkar

Mujhe yaad to nahi karte?

Kya tum mujhe yaad karte bhi ho?

Just let me take a breath...

I wish life had a pause button;

I wish I could hide behind a curtain,

Till I'm ready to face the world;

I wish I could take a break,

To gather my strength

And then resume the race;

I'm not saying I'll stop altogether;

Just let me take a breath

Let me take a breath, please...

Asymptotic

A song that remained unfinished

Some words that remained unsaid

Some confessions that never made it to lips

Some emotions were left unnamed

Some secrets yours and mine

Neither shared nor hidden

We walked together, side by side

Hands entwined

Not caring about finish line

We tried to enjoy the journey

But there's something that we forgot

That we didn't have forever

That we're stringed to our fates

That pulled us opposite ways

And our love wasn't tangible enough

To bind us together in a new fate

Because our love was an asymptote

It came close enough to feel

But not enough to connect

It came close enough to touch

But not enough to osculate

Hate me

I won't blame you

If you shred me into pieces

I won't blame you

If you skin me alive and spit on my face

I'm a waste of space anyway

Undeserving of your love.

A sinner by birth.

A blackened heart,

That's used to the rage and hatred,

It can't build something so sacred.

So leave while you can

Before I stain you with my rust

Like everything else I touched

And turned it into meagre dust.

My heart sinks with some unknown feeling,

Whenever you look at me

for not being worth more than dirt,

not being worthy of your unswerving love,

For every beautiful moment you give me

my masochistic soul screams from inside

"Don't torture me by giving me hope,

Just hate me like I deserve."

I do not know

if it's the world that is grey

Or is it me who's colour blind

Am I seeing the picture in pieces

Or did people really forget how to be kind

Drowning in ambitions and greed

Are we really leaving the humanity behind

Maybe I failed to appreciate

The life that was given

Or maybe it's the world

That doesn't deserve me.

You were something wild

And I'm self destructive from the start

May be that's why I loved you

So you could tear me apart....

Before you

I was terrified of this world

looking at those Shadows

Spreading on this earth

You tilted my head upward

showed me the stars

And I stopped shuddering in the dark

You told me

any of them could be mine

The thought made me smile

I wandered around at nights

Looking for that tiny light

That would feel just right

Just mine

And I finally found it

Not up above, in the skies

But around me

Among the fireflies.

The million dollar question ?

True love,

Like a needle in a haystack,

It's too difficult to find.

Like the Gods above,

It exists if you believe in it.

Like Halley's comet,

You might see it,

in one of your lifetime.

It's priceless

like the Kohinoor.

Or so people say.

But all this hype,

Brings me to a question,

Why the hell do you think it's worth the hassle?!

Reminiscence

Do you remember...

When you stopped looking at the universe,

With your youthful curiosity and childlike wonder.

When you started repressing your emotions,

And your heart became heavy with burdens.

The day you stopped counting the stars

And you realised even the moon has scars

When you stopped holding people's hands

Figured out every smiling face isn't your friend.

When you started building these walls around you,

So strong, that nothing can ever seep through.

When you discovered the crowd isn't the place you belong,

You crave the moments where you find yourself alone.

Even when you hate the hovering loneliness.

You condone it as a price of the silence.

Do you remember....

The day you grew up?

Do you remember....

The last time you smiled without any care,

The last time you opened your heart to someone,

The last time you let the dreams cloud your vision,

The last time you felt restless from excitements,

The last time you held your love on open palms,

The last time you felt the rush of life in your veins

Do you remember...

The day you stopped living?

Alive

I felt each breath seeping into my lungs.

I felt each ray of sunshine that touched my skin.

I felt every gust of wind that blew past me.

I felt all those emotions hidden in my heart.

The sorrows, the love, the dreams and the hope.

I felt the time that ticked by and I didn't care.

I felt my heart beating to it's own rhythm.

I felt the silence telling me something.

Telling me that I'm alive.

And I believed it.

Many came before me,

Many have yet to come.

To profess a velleity,

To seek direction,

Standing right here,

Where you can see

The light of hope

Rising from the horizon.

Innocent bystander

Close your eyes

Cover your ears

Shut your mouth

What’s happening isn’t happening.

Come on, throw away your conscience;

It’s not going to win you a lottery.

It wasn’t you who commited the crime,

Then Why should you feel guilty?

Convince yourself it’s not your fault,

You are not to blame.

Just an innocent bystander, right?

You just happened to be there;

You watched the scene unfold.

Even though you could have stopped it,

you just stood there and let it go on,

shook your head and said, “what a terrible fate!”

And went on with your day,

Thinking you’re not in the wrong.

But let me tell you one thing,

By closing your eyes,

when you see something evil,

By covering your ears,

When you hear something wrong,

By shutting your mouth,

When you could have spoken up,

You are not being wise but selfish.

You’re as much guilty for not stopping it

as the hands of the person for doing it.

So don’t think you’re not in the wrong,

‘cause innocent bystander is just an oxymoron.

“I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.”

— Patrick Bateman

The cage I live in

I'm tired of holding it together,

All these threads that bind me as whole.

I'm tired of pretending I'm fine,

being an imposter in my own skin,

Smiling when I feel like crying.

While my insides are screaming,

To ask for help? To be left alone?

I don't know....

But I muffle it with the silence.

Not wanting others to know.

When all I want is to let go,

Let it break apart and shatter.

Why must I be trapped in this charade?

Can i be free?

Or is it just the price of being born?

The gift of life as you call it,

Is it a penance I must endure?

What if I can't take it anymore?

Like a volcano before eruptions,

It wobbles my sanity with those tremors,

Threatening to crack the surface.

But how long can I repress it?

One day the surface will break,

Bleeding me with a colourless blood

Flaming me from the inside

Untill what's left is only ash.

I wish it'll come sooner,

freeing me from the cage I live in.

Misshapen

Sometimes I feel a weird kinship

with those misshapen clay pots,

That lay discarded and forgotten.

At first like a new born baby,

It too sits on the centre of potter's wheel,

Soaking up all the attention it needs.

But as the life goes on,

And the wheel of time is spun,

Just like the clay in the hands of potter,

We are strained by the hands of humanity,

Bending to the world's whim,

Smoothing out our deformity,

To be accepted by the society.

But when after all those pottery,

We still turn out misshapen,

Just like those deformed clay pots,

We're easily discarded and forgotten.

The moments that we lost in time,

Still reverberate in my mind.

Your radiant smile, eyes dancing with mirth,

I still see it like an image in a hologram.

The warmth of your embrace,

I can still feel it like the soft evening breeze.

And like I promised you millions of time,

I still keep your essence inside the walls of my heart.

-Yours forever

It's all a lie

They tell you that the world is round,

That what you give, also comes around.

Then, why was I given deceit,

When I offered my trust?

Why, after all the secrets I shared,

You left me defenceless and bared.

So, tell me universe,

Was it all a lie?

They say time heals all wounds,

But mine gets sore with every ticking sound.

For once in my life,

I lowered the fences guarding my heart.

You smiled at me,

I thought, I already got the world.

But then you slashed me open,

Just to see what colour I bleed,

Did you ever stop to wonder,

how I would feel?

They say it's better to have loved and lost,

Than never to have loved at all.

And forgive me universe for I don't believe you,

As it changed my notion of life leaving it askew.

Before I used to see the beauty of starry sky,

Now all I see is the swarming darkness.

As it left me stuck in a time,

the world long since forgot.

As it left me Stranded on a road,

people no longer venture.

So, forgive me universe for saying this,

but love is nothing but an illusion,

like the beauty of the ocean,

as it lures the guileless heart,

only to steal it's breath.

The first time I got acquainted with grief.

Red blazing fire danced before my eyes, greedily engulfing my mother's body. The crackling sound of fire dominating any other sound caused by the crowd of people. The world faded around me as i concentrated on the sight in front of me. I wasn't even aware how many hours have passed since my mom drew her final breath. If someone told me to describe the hours subsequent to her death, I probably wouldn't be able to string four sentence together. Those hours had been hazy. I remember holding her hand with one hand and the other resting on her chest feeling her heartbeats as her heart heaved for the last time. I remember trying to get ahold of myself as the devastation hit me like wave of tsunami. The feeling of loss was sudden. I tried to think of all those impending arrangements and formalities I have to do, so I wouldn't break apart in a hospital room. After all, I have long since known of her illness. I knew what was coming. I had time to prepare myself. I shouldn't be loosing it like this. I managed to distract myself for almost five seconds before I lost it and as if a dam broke loose all the emotions hit me at once. The devastation, the loneliness, the loss, the confusion, the anger, I felt it all. The pain was almost physical, as if someone was ripping me apart limb by limb. I don't know how much time passed while I sat there sobbing hysterically. I don't know when people started coming in, awkwardly muttering their condolences, some taking me in a firm embrace as if they're touch will pacify the raging storm inside me. I wish it could but their solace couldn't reach me through the thick layer of sorrow. But I was still grateful for their presence. Even though their faces were a string of blurry images that I didn't care to acknowledge at that time, I was still grateful, especially when they stuck around and took over the cremation arrangements. I wasn't sure I could have taken care of things in my current state of insensibility. I guess, this was the boon of living in a small town. People always make time to stand by you. Either because they expect the same from you or they just don't want to appear insensitive, the reason doesn't matter.

In the process of breaking down, trying to pick myself up to give my mom a proper cremation and seeing her motionless body turning into ash something inside me went numb. I was tired. Tired of my mind being clogged up by emotions. Tired of life being so unfair. I wanted to stop feeling. I wasn't one to let my emotions take control of situations. Guess, that was before I had a brush with grief. And I was glad I didn't have anymore family, glad that I wouldn't have to go through it again. I kneeled near the ashes as the fire died down watching the thinning smoke still rising from the ash. I closed my eyes and tried to envision my life from this moment forward. And for the first time in life I felt burdened by life. For the first time I had no one to lean on. I was truly and utterly alone.

Not my usual thing to write so it'll be nice if you can give me any pointers. Any constructive criticism would be appreciated as well.

Do you really love me?

When the mischief, that you fell in love with, evanesces from my smile,

would you still be able to love me?

When the buoyancy, that you find refreshing, vanishes from my eyes,

would you still be able to love me?

When my beauty, that captivates your eyes, fades with time,

would you still be able to love me?

When my face, that you say reflects my heart, stops Conveying emotions,

would you still be able to love me?

When the sanity, that holds me together, leaves me scattered around,

would you pick up the pieces for me?

When the darkness, that I fight to keep at bay, consumes me one day,

would you still be able to see me?

When I stand before you, lost somewhere in my mind,

would you still be able to find me?

When the baggage that I carry, slows you down in life,

would you stay back just for me?

If you're going to leave me one of those days,

then, do you really love me?

A ray of hope

A little ray of hope

lighting up your heart.

A little ray of hope

brightening your spirits.

A little ray of hope

flikering in the shadows,

showing you the way to light,

when you're drowning in sorrows.

A hope that shows you,

you can fly so high.

A hope that tells you,

you can touch the starry sky.

A hope that brings

the twinkle in your eyes.

A hope that augments

the love in your heart.

That little ray of hope,

that you guard with your life,

makes all the difference,

between being dead and being alive.

Evil Place Called Mind

I stare into the void,

Lost in my head.

I scream from inside,

I beg for help.

It's an bottomless abyss,

An endless maze.

As the tendrils of evil thoughts,

Drags me down,

Deeper and deeper,

To some dark unknown place.

I look at the sky,

Grasping the hanging roots of sanity,

I pray to God,

For some semblance of reality.

But the sky still remains dark,

As it throws back my plea,

As if saying I'm not worthy enough,

For the life given to me.

I lose my grip on sanity,

Losing all hope,

As a firm tendril yanks me down,

Trapping me somewhere I can't get out of.

It's the evil place called my mind.