Freckles-rosiecheeks-bumblebees - Skinny Little Bumblebee

8/4/17 lowkey rant

So yesterday me and my sister were talking and we ended up on the topic of thinspo because we were looking up studyspo and things like that for bullet journaling and she freaked out and though someone’s username said thinspo and she looked concerned and said she feels bad for those people who have accounts like that and that she’s worried about that because of how unhealthy it is and she thinks it’s so fucked up and I just kinda say there mute and not sure of what to say I think she notice because she kinda just pat my shoulder kinda like “it’s okay if you have/used to have that” I think that’s what she meant but Idk I’m continuously posting and reblogging this crap and I don’t want to get better I’ve been dedicated for about 2 and half weeks now (my ed has been up and down and obviously it’s really fucking down) but I want to be unhealthy thin I know it’s bad I know I’ll be basically killing myself but who cares I want to be thin I want it more than anything

I used to be size 13/14/16 in different brands of pants and now I'm a size 5 in pants and I've been maintaining that for months and months so I get your struggle but hard work pays off don't worry

real talk

so, my week has been shit, i’ve been under stress and stress ate/starved all week with the outcome of me pretty much maintaining my current weight. again. another week at my cw. i was devastated and i am, BUT today I was shopping for my job interview at thursday (which is the reason why i’m nervous af) and I needed to buy clothes in size 8 (36 EU). Just to make it clear, i was a size 16 to 18 (44-46 EU) before i lost the weight. so despite being upset with myself this week and maybe the last few weeks, i’m pretty damn proud of myself for being at least at an acceptable size right now.

I really do hope that i can continue to lose weight in a at the very least semi-healthy manner after this job interview is done. please wish me luck, you guys. ✨🍀

I’ve been using this chart to get myself through the day, but still eating under 1,000 calories

Devon Aoki in 2 Fast 2 Furious

Binge

I binged. Not even the normal one cookie or a bag of chips binge. But like actually eating 700 calories in 5 minutes. I can feel all my hard work of this week draining away with all the food I ate. I can feel the food demon smiling maliciously at me for giving in. I want to cry I can’t believe I did this to myself and what I especially hate is how I enjoyed it. I need hardcore meanspiration or thinspiration or honestly anything to keep me going.

anyways!!!!!

i hope all the nazis lose their jobs monday tho they probably won’t & i hope every person who decided to counter protest makes it home safe tonight. they had the presence, drive, & conviction to go out & face fear - even death. my thoughts are with those whose lives were cruelly lost

You lost 40 in 3 months!? You are a soldier omg. I only lost about 14 overall plus the pounds I had to lose when I accidentally gained (which happened a lot). You go! And stay safe!

it still doesn’t feel like enough though.