How To Stop Comparing Yourself & Become Obsessed With Yourself

Little things that improved my life 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Accepting my sleep schedule. I'm a night owl; I focus at night, I'm calm at night, I'm motivated at night. For a long time, I tried to fight this since everyone always preaches getting up early, but since I started accepting my natural sleep schedule, I've been feeling a lot better and have become way more productive.

"drink more water". TEA. Tea is the secret here. I will be honest, I hate drinking water; it doesn't matter if I have a cute water bottle or a cute glass, I still hate it. TEA.

Replying quickly. I used to be one of those people who get a text message and think, "Oh, I'll reply to that later", and then just forget about it entirely. Now, I text back as soon as I see the message. This has not only improved my texting anxiety (which I cause on my own by now replying and then feeling bad) but also deepened my connection to my friends. <3

Keeping my circle small and being okay with that. Over the past months, I've had this sudden urge to expand my social circle and get to know more and more people, especially after I moved in August. However, this quickly ended in what I like to call my "social burnout". I was tired, annoyed, and overwhelmed. It took a few weeks for it to settle, but I've come to the conclusion that I would much rather have a smaller circle of people who I trust and love deeply than a huge group of friends, and that's totally okay.

Wearing what I like. Even though I live in a big city, I'd still say that my style can sometimes be a bit more extravagant than what most people wear, another point is that I'm very uncomfortable with pants so I only wear skirts, which is also considered a bit odd where I live. But over the past years, I've come to accept that and have become so sure of myself and found such comfort in my style that I now just wear whatever I like, and it makes every day a little bit nicer.

Reading and writing for pleasure. Reading books outside of my studies and spending time researching topics that simply interest me is such a great way to calm your mind. Same for writing, I always like to say that to write is to think; putting your thoughts on paper in cohesive and well-crafted sentences that you can then reread and think over again is such a liberating thing to do.

Reaching out more. fuck the whole "double texting" and "no contact" thing. If you want to speak to someone because they mean something to you, then just do it. Unless they specifically asked for space, you shouldn't feel bad about wanting to be in touch with them. Many even really appreciate it when you show that you truly care. Let's stop the nonchalant act, and instead, let's face deep emotions and true vulnerability. <3

As always, please feel free to share your own little insights and things that helped you improve comments! <3

my insta: @ malusokay

love ya ･:*₊‧✩

Moodboard

𝜗𝜚 my extensive morning routine - for the girlies who need their alone time ,, especially before a hectic day ++ free printable !!

drink water

this is an absolute game-changer ! bonus if its warm or room temperature, really gets the metabolism going as well as soothes your throat !!

make your bed

this makes my room look MUCH neater, and gives me peace of mind + incentive not to get back under the covers and doze off again TT

meditation

another thing that calms me down greatly and gets me focused and set for the day, i really recommend lavendaire, her meditations are top-tier and she has several lengths to pick from

morning yoga

debloat yoga or stretching is a must for me, it helps aid my digestion as well as reduce bloating in the morning.

exercise

i like to do either shirlyn kim, april han, chloe ting or momomi workouts in the morning ending with a hinafit's full body stretch that's twenty minutes long. i use chloe ting's workouts as cardio mostly and then a set of targeted hiit from momomi and relaxing pilates from shirlyn kim and april han.

i am also trying to go on walks in the morning as well TT

skincare + dental care

my skincare routine in the morning is cleanser + toner + hydrogel + sunscreen + matte sunstick + lip balm and my dental care routine is herbal toothpaste + fluoride toothpaste + mouthwash. i wash my hands between and before/after steps.

shower routine

i use a pumice stone and sugar scrub in the shower to exfoliate along w baby soap and shower gel to clean up. i apply three layers of moisturizer + coconut oil on getting out !!

reading

in the mornings, i like to either annotate classics or read my weekly self-help book or just read educational nonfiction and take notes in my commonplace journal about them.

journalling

i fill out five affirmations, five things i'm grateful for as well as my intentions for the day. i also write down what would make my day great, as well as habits to focus on (at least three)

planning

i plan w/ my planners, notebook and wall calendar spread as well as notion and a habit app, as well as google sheets.

that wraps up this post, and here is the printable checklist spanning four days

Distance yourself from the people that you don't want to become

Old ways won't open new doors

˖ ִֶָ་࣪˖ ִֶָ་࣪ °˖ ִֶָ*·.｡.° ·｡.·*˖ ִֶָ་· ࣪˖ ִֶָ་༘･࿐

Complete Guide : How to looksmax & drastically improve your appearance

Looksmaxing refers to the practice of enhancing one's physical appearance through various methods like grooming, skincare, fitness, etc. It's about YOU and feeling the need to constantly remind yourself that you can be better. In this guide, I’m sharing with you ridiculously specific tips to drastically improve your appearance.

body language

Being beautiful is not only about having big lips and a striking jawline. No, it's about the feeling you give to other people, about your energy. Furthermore, it's about how you have embodied your energy. The only way you can embody this truly, is by accepting your authentic energy.

· make eye contact

· keep your head up

· don’t play with your jewelry

· be extremely, obnoxiously confident

· stand up straight, push your shoulders back slightly and open up your chest

· smile more often, it will make you look more charismatic & happy, so you will appear more attractive, as many say “be happy and you will be beautiful”

diet

Proper nutrition plays a crucial role in transforming your skin from the inside out. By eating a balanced diet that is rich in vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants, you can help to maintain healthy, glowing skin. You will not only look your best, but also feel your best. Your diet should look like this :

· low carb

· low sugar

· 3L of water daily

· lots of veggies & fruit

· high protein, fibre & potassium

· only eat organic grass-fed meat (for meat)

· 3 Brazilian nuts a day, they improve your skin health & hair health

· ginger shots, a combination of ginger, freshly squeezed lemon juice & water or coconut water. The health benefits of ginger shots include : decreasing inflammation, calming indigestion, and boosting immunity. Keep in mind that ginger shots are meant to be drunk all at once as a quick shot. Be careful not to drink more than one shot a day since too much ginger can cause heartburn.

makeup

· keep it natural, don’t overdo it and remember, less is more

· curl your lashes & mascara (Dior iconic overcurl is my fave mascara!!)

· contour & bronze cheeks (Chanel bronzer 395)

· wear skin tint, NOT foundation. Less is more.

· sublte white highlight on the inner corner (I recommend dior glow palette) DO NOT grab a white pencil and think it does the job. It doesn’t. It will make you look tacky.

· black or brown liner on the upper waterline

· blend your skin tint in with your hand, then go in bak with a damp beauty blender for a flawless finish

· for a natural eye lift effect, draw a line (with a skin coloured pencil) from your outer crease all the way to the temple & blend in a sculpted effect

lashes & brows

Facial harmony is important to the face, and your eyebrows need to work well with all of your face.

For face harmony ask the eyebrow tech this: the eyebrow arch of the eyebrow should be aligned with the upper orbital rim of your eye, reaching it’s highest point slightly lateral to the outer edge of the iris.

For the length the eyebrow should start at a point above the inner corner of the eye and end diagonally from the outer corner of the eye, extending slightly past it.

Also the thickness of the eyebrows should be balanced and in proportion to your facial features.

Ask to maintain thick eyebrows if you do and ask to get it if you don't. Thick eyebrows are good because thicker eyebrows are preferred for a more youthful appearance like you're still in your 20s. Think of an example as Brooke Shields.

Also the distance between the eyebrows should be approximately equal to the width of one eye.

Furthermore the overall shape of the eyebrows should complement your face natural contours, and tell them to take into account your facial structure and features.

Also, your tech needs to be well skilled and knowledgeable to even know these. So I highly recommend going to a very qualified professional in order to get your brows done. At the end of the day, it’s like you’re giving your beauty in their hands. You alternatively do it at home, remember to be precise.

· get fuller brows : brow serum, micro blading, brow pencil, etc.

· grow out your eyelashes with a mix of aloe vera & castor oil (apply as a serum) or use a lash serum (I recommend Latisse)

· dark brows & lashes are more attractive, in order to darken them here’s some advice :

solutions to darken brows & lashes

· brow tint & eyelash tint

· hybrid dye : lasts up to 7 weeks on the hairs & 10 days on the skin

· tint : lasts up to 4 weeks on the hairs & 3 days on the skin

· brow pommade & brow pencil

skin

· in order to achieve your perfect skin tone, eat more carotenoids.

what are carotenoids?

Carotenoids are yellow, orange & red organic pigments that are produced by plants and algae. Carotenoids give the characteristic color to pumpkins, carrots, corn, tomatoes, sweet potatoes, spinach, salmon, shrimp, kale, broccoli, cantaloupe, papaya, mangoes, oranges, bell peppers, watermelon, apricots, tangerines.

(In summary they are brightly colored fruits and vegetables)

So make sure to include these foods into your diet. If you want a shorter list of the foods that are the highest in carotenoids :

spinach, kale, corn, oranges, bell peppers, tomatoes, watermelon, sweet potatoes, cantaloupe, broccoli, carrots.

· get custom spray tan

· get laser hair removal (don’t forget to shave before your appointment)

· smile line removal : volufiline

· for clear skin, STOP eating sugar & dairy

· drink CELERY JUICE everyday for glowing skin

· a rich moisturizer, spf & a good diet is all you need

· it is better to get a real tan, not fake tanner

· laser mole removal

· to prevent ageing, you should SPF every single day, never use tanning beds, never smoke, use a retinoid nightly, wash your makeup off & maintain a skincare routine

· stay hydrated: drinking plenty of water and staying hydrated help maintain healthy, hydrated & plump skin

lips

Brushing your lips with a toothbrush. Brushing lips with a toothbrush each day can temporarily increase lip fullness. The brushing may stimulate blood circulation in the lips, leading to temporary redness and slight swelling. This increased blood flow can create the appearance of fuller lips for a short period. Brushing the lips with a toothbrush can help exfoliate the surface layer of dead skin cells, promoting smoother and potentially plumper looking lips, removing the buildup of dead skin cells.

· lip liner (love the Charlotte Tilbury liner & MAC lip pencil)

· ombré lips effect

· keep them plump & glossy

· if you want to whiten your teeth I suggest you get professional teeth whitening or use whitening teeth strips (if you have sensitive teeth, make sure to buy the right kind because you risk damaging the area)

get rid of face fat & bloating

Bloating significantly impacts your appeal by concealing the underlying bone structure, which plays a crucial role in defining the contours of your face.

Without well-defined bone structure, your facial features appear less distinct & with a rounder appearance, and it becomes challenging to achieve the desired prominent cheek bone effect.

This is probably the simplest way to get the perfect jawline ; all you have to do is massage your face regularly. A good massage will boost blood circulation and tone your facial structure. Make sure to start massaging from the bottom to the top, to prevent sagging. In case you’re asking yourself if this really works, believe it does. Stay consistent.

Even though you will hear many people say that 5-6 hours of sleep is sufficient for them, it isn’t enough to look your best. Without 8-10 hours of sleep, your body will start looking tired, and your face will look bloated and fluffy. 

· avoid SALT & SUGAR & CARBS

Why? Because salt, sugar & carbohydrates each have distinct effects on your body that contribute to bloating. Refined carbohydrates, as well as excessive sugar intake (particularly added sugars that convert into glucose), can cause blood sugar spikes and subsequently lead to bloating. These substances, such as sugar (glucose), have the ability to draw water from your body or hinder its proper absorption.

· eat POTASSIUM (spinach, kale, sweet potatoes, bananas, avocados, spinach, tomatoes, watermelon)

· do intermittent fasting

· rub an ice cube on your skin in the morning, as ice tightens your skin and helps reduce puffiness.

· drink 3L of water daily

It is very important to prioritize the consumption of a substantial amount of water every day. Water plays a vital role in flushing out sodium from the body, effectively reducing sodium levels. Also, water intake helps regulate the body's water balance, preventing unnecessary water retention that can lead to facial bloating and puffiness.

· do face massages

· contour & bronze your cheeks

· mewing : smile with closed mouth and swallow, don’t force your tongue. It’s about keeping your tongue in the correct position at all times. There is also a bunch of videos on YouTube.

IN SUMMARY

· working out

· intermidate fasting and calorie deficit

· drink a ton of water

· try to eat less salt, sugar, carbs

· eat more potassium (bananas, potatoes...)

· rub an ice cube on your skin

hair

· Kerastase shampoo & conditioner and dyson for styling

· when doing a high ponytail or bun, don’t forget to slick back your baby hairs around your ears

· rinse your conditioner with cold water

(locks in the moisture, makes your hair look smooth, shiny & reduces frizz)

· use a scalp massager 5 minutes

(stimulates & exfoliates the scalp)

· do Aloe Vera hair masks

· use homemade rosemary oil

· microfibre towel - dries your hair x2 faster plus it is so much better than a regular towel! Why? Microfibre treats your hair with care to help prevent frizziness

· add coffee to your shampoo (stimulates and exfoliates the scalp). It’s a great alternative to scalp scrubs

· rice water rinse twice a week

body

The ideal waist to hip ratio backed by science is 0.6. The target 0.6 ratio is ideal and is genetic, so don't blame yourself if your natural physique doesn't fit it. Enhancing it to 0.6 requires hard work & surgery, implants if you're not naturally gifted. 0.6 is ideal and 0.7 is average. It's bone structure / genetic, if you're already slim and don't have 0.6 it's not your fault. You can only get the desired (0.6) by surgery or possibly by extreme diet if you don't have it genetically.

Our bodies as women influences the type of men we attract. You attract and get chased by higher quality, financially well and genetically attractive men. It's because slimness is associated with elegance, higher class and higher social status. It also signals good health and youthfulness and that you respect your body enough to keep it healthy.

Capture body images

Take photos from the front, side, and back angles, along with a face selfie. This step is crucial and can serve as a powerful source of inspiration in the future when you feel demotivated or lose interest.

Measure your weight

I strongly recommend stepping on the scale on day one, the day you genuinely embark on your weight loss journey. This will be another significant step as it helps establish your starting point and, as you make progress, serves as motivation to keep going.

Develop a plan

Whether your plan is to follow a diet (ketogenic diet & intermittent fasting), to get a gym membership or to buy a scale : reflect on your goals and determine what you want to achieve such as how much you want to lose weight. You need to make a plan that you can fully commit to. And get it done.

Portion control

Although what you eat does matter, its about how much of it you eat. You’re going to consume smaller portions of whatever food, but make sure your plate is smaller because it’s all about calorie deficit. Also try to limit snacking as such as you can, because it’s not a little bar that’s going to make you any fuller. For 15 minutes maybe, but at at what cost? Eat proper meals (in smaller plates). But if you really have trouble with restricting yourself to a smaller plate I advise you to eat foods that are voluminous but low in calories. For example one cookie (15g) is small & thin, filled with 150 calories. But on the other hand, 1 kg of lettuce is 150 calories. See the difference? Same calories but different amount.

8 lil things you can try to feel better & productive!

Drink at least 2 bottles (or more) of water each day. Staying hydrated can boost energy levels, aid body in breaking down waste & help clear your skin by flushing out toxins!

Make your bed first thing in the morning - because a clean space can lead to a clean mind!

Do a quick 3-to-10-minute cardio workout 4-5x a week. Doing so can boost your mood and confidence while helping you build consistency. This habit can pave the way for exercising more often and for longer periods, contributing to your overall glow-up journey!

Meditate for 5 minutes or more. Doing so grounds you in the present moment and helps you tune into thoughts or physical feelings you might be ignoring. It's a simple way to relax and melt away stress.

Affirm regularly! Affirmations can rewire your subconscious beliefs and dissolve mental blockages. Remember, lasting external change starts with internal transformation—if you don’t trust or love yourself, you might unknowingly block the abundance you’re manifesting.

Spend more time creating, not consuming! Logging out and diving into art, music, writing, or any form of creativity feeds your soul in ways scrolling never will. It’s a chance to recharge your mind, discover new passions, and find fulfillment in making something truly your own.

Go outside, boo! Yeah, sprawling on your bed sounds super tempting (I get it), but we need sunlight! Take a small walk around your neighborhood, visit a park, or simply sit on your porch or backyard. The sun's rays are packed with vitamin D, which supports strong bones, boosts your immune system, and even improves your mood. And spending time outdoors can help clear your mind, reduce stress, and reconnect you with nature.

Prioritize rest and sleep. Glow-ups don’t happen overnight—literally! While hustle culture pushes the idea of “never stop” to become the ultimate “it girl,” true productivity starts with balance. Rest isn’t laziness—it’s an essential recharge. How can we show up as our best, higher selves if we’re running on empty? We’re not machines. Rest—both physically and mentally—is the foundation for sustainable growth, glowing skin, and thriving in every way.

While this post was originally written for me, I hope these tips inspire or help someone else on their journey too. Remember, the most productive thing you can ever do is prioritize yourself. Care for your body, nurture your mind, and show yourself the same kindness you so freely give to others—you deserve it. Appreciate who you are right now. Self-improvement shouldn’t come from a place of self-hate—you’re not something that needs fixing or a puzzle piece that has to fit in with the crowd. Work on yourself for yourself, because you love who you are, and want to see yourself thrive. 👑💐🩷

101 ways to improve self esteem

1) Master a new skill.

2) List your accomplishments.

3) Do something creative.

4) Challenge your limiting beliefs.

5) Talk to a counselor.

6) Don't worry about what others think.

7) Read or watch something inspirational.

8) Stay true to your character.

9) Let go of negative people.

10) Set healthy boundaries with others.

11) Care about your appearance.

12) Welcome failure as part of growth.

13) Be a lifelong learner.

14) Face your fears.

15) Become a mentor.

16) Accept compliments.

17) Eliminate self-criticism.

18) Practice coping skills to manage stress and big emotions.

19) Notice negative thoughts and beliefs.

20) Challenge negative thinking.

21) Think about what you learned from negative experiences.

22) Practice gratitude.

23) Exercise.

24) Eat healthy and limit junk food.

25) Get good sleep.

26) Spend time with positive and supportive people.

27) Encourage yourself.

28) Write a list of your strengths.

29) Don't compare yourself to others.

30) Avoid perfectionism.

31) Do at least one positive, enjoyable activity every day.

32) Celebrate small victories.

33) Be helpful and considerate to others.

34) Be honest with yourself and others.

35) Accept your flaws.

36) Don't give up.

37) Practice self-care.

38) Go easy on yourself.

39) Practice being assertive.

40) Practice saying "No".

41) Practice relaxation techniques.

42) Take on challenges.

43) Volunteer to help others.

44) Forgive others and yourself.

45) Set goals and work toward them step by step.

46) Seek balance in all areas of your life.

47) Discover your passions and purpose

48) Groom yourself.

49) Dress nicely.

50) Be kind and generous to others.

51) Practice good posture.

52) Change a small habit.

53) Smile.

54) Don't procrastinate.

55) Don't take things personal.

56) Organize your personal space.

57) Challenge unkind thoughts about yourself.

58) Spend time outside.

59) Notice the good things.

60) Celebrate your successes

61) Write a list of things you like about yourself.

62) Don't take too much on.

63) Do something for yourself every day.

64) Develop daily habits.

65) Remind yourself it's okay if not everyone likes you.

66) Practice mindfulness.

67) Learn to tolerate discomfort.

68) Use problem-solving skills.

69) Take responsibility instead of blaming.

Tell Yourself Positive Affirmations Such As:

70) I am grateful for every day.

71) I am worthy of happiness and love.

72) I am in charge of my own happiness.

73) I love, respect, and believe in myself.

74) I deserve to be happy and successful.

75) I approve of myself, right here and now.

76) I am learning and changing for the better.

77) I accept 100% responsibility for my own life.

78) Every day in every way, I am getting better and better.

79) I can learn to accept the parts of myself that I don't like.

80) I am thankful for my challenges as they make me a stronger person.

81) Write down three positives about each day.

82) Make a collage with your talents, goals, and dreams.

83) Practice laughing.

84) Be proud of yourself.

85) Say mistakes are an opportunity to learn.

86) Show respect to yourself and others.

87) Resolve conflict peacefully.

88) Ask for help or support.

89) Complete a daily task list.

90) Have a growth mindset.

91) Be optimistic.

92) Treat yourself with kindness and compassion.

93) Focus on the things you have control over and can change.

94) Get started on tasks you have been putting off.

95) Practice good daily hygiene.

96) Focus on solutions not problems.

97) Talk about your feelings with someone you trust.

98) Drink plenty of water.

99) Start a new hobby or join a club/sport.

100) Do random acts of kindness.

101) Create a dreams list.