Some People Should Be Ashamed Of Their Minds Not Looks

Meeting people again after your personality rebrand is so awks

6-MONTH REBRAND: the plan + goals

hi, i’m binatoki. this is my online diary to document my self-rebrand journey. i am going to go on this journey for 159 days. why? because 7 years ago from that date will be the day that my glow-down started. so in 159 days, i want to be better than i was on that day 7 years ago.

daily non-negotiables:

my non-negotiables are daily habits that i am going to do each day. these habits will help me get better physically, emotionally, mentally, & spiritually. these include:

• movement/exercise— 45 minutes minimum, 10k steps

• clean eating (with minimal occasions)— no alcohol, minimal dairy, minimal refined carbs, minimal sugar. high protein, lots of veggies, herbal tea, water, and supplements

• hair, makeup, skincare, hygiene— styling my hair pretty, wearing makeup, smelling my best, and grooming my best daily. i am going to look the best i can each day

• listen to at least 1 video/podcast or read at least 10 pages of self-improvement material

• get closer to God— use the Bible app, pray, and listen to at least 1 service/Christian video

• must document on here daily

weekly “homework”:

each week, i will be giving myself “homework”. my homework is basically 1-3 tasks that will either get me out of my comfort zone (ie become friends with a stranger) or to boost my level-up (like getting my hair done). the start of the week is monday and the end of the week is sunday

monthly goals:

each month i will give myself 1-3 goals within each category: beauty, health/fitness, finances, career/school, and lifestyle/social.

so what are my goals for the next 159 days?

i can’t list every goal on here because i have so many, but here are the more “major” goals that i’ll be working on.

1. lose 50lbs (i need to lose about 85lbs)

2. move on to my third quarter in nursing school with straight A’s

3. have my dream hair (long, thick, blonde, healthy)

4. keeping my skin plump and youthful (face & body)

5. become debt-free (i’m approx $30k in debt)

6. move out and live on my own again

7. make at least $12k a month / quit my current job

again, i have so many other goals (that i will be writing about) but i’m not trying to make this post super long!

lastly, what parts of myself or my lifestyle will i be leaving behind?

i’m leaving behind the part of me that loves playing into the victim mentality. i’m leaving behind the part of me that let’s her insecurities ruin her day, her mood, and her social life. i’m leaving behind the part of me that is tired, “lazy”, comfortable in my discomfort, and who loves to procrastinate and put things off. for the next 159 days, i’m going to focus on me and the present. i’m not going to focus on who i was in the past anymore. i’m not going to dwell on things i can’t control or change.

so now what?

feel free to follow my journey. i will be posting daily and will keep it raw and authentic. i can’t wait to see how much i’ll grow at the end of the 159 days. i’ll talk to you soon.

— binatoki

no bare minimum, i want the moon and the stars. maybe even a planet at this point.

April Challenge: Self Boundary Setting

I can't believe it's April already! So for this month I'm going to work on making my life more structured, mostly because I've been so relaxed with myself this past month. I read The Secret History, became obsessed, and started backsliding into really unhelpful behaviour patterns (and of course my therapist is on holiday, so I can't talk about it with her). I've given myself March to wallow in it, but now it's time to be a big kid and get over myself.

1. Bedtime

For the past few months, I've been going to sleep literally whenever, but my wake up times have been chaotic. In an attempt to wrangle that into some semblance of consistency, I will be making my bedtime midnight. No exceptions. I've also done this thing a lot where I lie down, thinking I'd get ready for bed later, and then immediately fall asleep. No more of that. I'm going to avoid this by not allowing myself to lie down until after I'm ready for bed.

2. Intuitive eating

One of the bigger things that bothered me last month was that, somehow, reading that book triggered my disordered eating patterns. This month I'm going to have to set more goals with eating enough, even though I'm in that frustrating part of the cycle where I don't really want to. So here's the plan: I'm going to make a weekly meal plan focussing on getting enough protein and fibre, and then I'll do it, because I told myself I would.

3. Self study

I've got a pretty tough thing going on, what with trying to learn 3 languages and an instrument while studying. Giving enough time to each thing so I can actually progress means I'll have to be focussed for at least 1 hr 45 min a day, not including the two hours every other day I've set aside for my actual uni work. Maybe I'll try a rotation of languages instead (that will cut the self study time down to 45 min), especially when my assignments are closer to due. I'm not sure. Anyway, I'll try the first option to start with.

4. Exercise

I've been in an energy crash all of March, so I haven't exercised this whole time. I need to get back into it now. I've wanted to take fencing classes since I was 14, but was always too sick to... until now. So to accommodate for the fact that the class is 2 hours long, I'll bookend it with rest days, and the rest of the week do half an hour of whatever I feel like. Until the next semester of the fencing class starts (when I'll join), I'll replace it with stretches designed to help with fencing.

SELF VALIDATION

First things first, if you validate your existence on externalities, you will never truly be happy. While it’s important to have values and to act on them, it shouldn’t be your main source of happiness. 

E.g. parent validation, academic validation, and male validation. So, here are some tips to validate yourself. 

VALUE YOUR OPINION. You should have the ability to make decisions and identify yourself solely on your opinion. Trust, giving people that ability to shape your decisions and curate your identity, allows them to dictate your worth. 

SELF LOVE OVER OTHERS. Ensure you are doing everything in your power to treat yourself lovingly. Even if it means sacrificing a few things in life. E.g. going to sleep early instead of cramming for a test. 

BE RESILIENT. When I say that, I don’t mean ‘don't let anything affect you’ but rather, build yourself up to the point that when someone/something knocks you down, you can bounce back easily. 

BECOME SELF AWARE. Know your strengths, and weaknesses, and be mindful of the truth. Be genuine when it comes to this because self-awareness helps us with becoming more in touch with our inner selves.

AVOID NEGATIVE SELF TALK. This can cause us to rely on others to hear good things about ourselves. Instead, say affirmations in the mirror.

STOP PEOPLE PLEASING. There’s a difference between genuinely being nice, and being a doormat. You shouldn’t have to bend over backwards for others, and they give absolutely nothing back. Invest that time and effort into yourself.

SOMEONE’S GAIN IS NOT YOUR LOSS. This is a mindset shift that will change the game. You have to stop seeing successful, wealthy, pretty or intelligent people as threatening your skills or talents. There is enough success for everyone.

DETACH FROM OTHERS. Friends, family, males, etc. Stop letting how other people treat you, dictate your mood for the rest of the day. The only factor your mood should depend on is you. What you do, say, and act is the only factor. 

KNOCK OTHERS FROM YOUR PEDESTAL. The only person that should be on top of your pedestal, is you. By doing this, you create an inferiority complex for someone else and give them superiority. 

OTHER’S OPINIONS ARE MOMENTARY. They will always move on with their day and see what needs to be done. They do not care about you as much as you think. So, do not even try to give them the time of day. 

BUILD BOUNDARIES. With others and yourself. Both are equally important because you value yourself enough not to do something you’ll regret. 

Monday Journal Prompts

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what are 3 things i want to accomplish this week?

what are 3 ways i can improve from last week

what can i let go of this week

what can i do this week to make me happy

list 3 things i’m grateful for

💗🍰BECOMING SELFISH IS THE BEST THING I DID💗🍰

This post is my notes of thewizardliz video of the same topic as this post . I always tend to lose the notes I make 😑, so I thought that I should make a post on this ( lol )

💗STOP ARGUING WITH PEOPLE WHO AREN'T WILLING TO LISTEN

If the boundaries were crossed, the conversation is over . They aren't worth your time or energy.

🍰START PRIORITIZING YOUR OWN NEEDS & WANTS

" Whatever I want , goes first ". Fill your own cup first, Are you whole ? Are you okay ?

💗STOP BEING ALWAYS AVAILABLE & TRYING TO SAVE EVERYONE

You cannot save everyone. To be honest , you cannot same anyone . If a person does not want to change , if a person doesn't want to be saved,you will not save anyone & just end up losing your energy.

🍰SOMETIMES YOU HELPING IS ACTUALLY SABOTAGING GOD'S PLAN

People get certain problems / situations in their life because God gives them , it's for them to go through. So they can become wiser & fulfill their life purpose. If someone is stepping in & trying to be their savior , they are sabotaging God's plan & blocking their own blessings.

💗START BEING OKAY WITH PEOPLE MISUNDERSTANDING YOU

They don't have to understand you. It's very reasonable they don't understand you , people have come from different countries , culture, environment. They don't have the same mindset or heart as you. You cannot make them understand you because they aren't you. If you constantly go through life thinking everybody has the same heart as you , you will be hurt . People are different. Let them be.

🍰REALISE THAT YOU CAN ONLY CHANGE YOURSELF

Humans love comfort. In order to change, it requires alot of courage , strength & discomfort. If you are constantly putting your energy trying to change people , to become their best version. You are wasting your energy that you can use to become your best version. Lead by example .

💗STOP NEEDING PEOPLE TO VALIDATE YOUR SELF WORTH

You don't need anyone to tell you how good , smart or beautiful you are , if you already see those qualities in yourself. If you only feel that you are a good person when someone else tells you that you are a good person, if you need validation from other people , then you are just a slave of other people because their opinion can change your reality.When you are the one who always creates their own reality. You have to be strong in your own self , tell yourself how amazing you are.

🍰TALK TO YOURSELF , TAKE YOURSELF ON A DATE , HUG YOURSELF , COMPLIMENT YOURSELF

Say in the mirror how amazing you are to yourself.

💗LESS CHASING MORE ATTRACTING

Tune in with your feminine energy . Be relaxed, just do what is good for you & your body. Become open to receiving to your blessings & manifestations. If you aren't desperately chasing after things , then you are really whole.

🍰ONLY ADDING GREAT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE

Allow people who add value in your life. Do they make you happy ? Is it a both way thing ?.

💗STOP SEEKING PEOPLE'S PERMISSION TO DO WHAT YOU WANT.

You don't need anyone's permission to do what is good for yourself. You know yourself well enough. " I know I can do it & I will do it " . Others opinions should be irrelevant to you , how cocky people can be to think that they know you better than you know yourself. They haven't gone through anything you have gone through. They haven't lived your life so who are they to decide what is good for you ? " Mmmm..none of your buisness ,goodbye "

What I Do To Prep For A Date

I'm in an interesting situation where the guy I've been eyeing as prospective arm candy has asked me out to dinner. Him and I are currently only friends but he has asked me to dinner, and I'm in my plotting era, so even though this is not a date, I am going to prep for it like it is because at the end of the day, he asked me to dinner at a restaurant, not a bar, so I need to make sure I look my best for the environment.

Step 1: Wax

I know what you're thinking, and I want you to stop thinking it because I've been celibate for over a year at this point. I wax regularly anyway and I'm planning on investing in laser this summer, but I am going to make sure I get an extra good wax in by sugaring my bikini area, my underarms, and my legs. I'm not particularly hairy, so this part is actually pretty easy.

Step 2: Nails

To get your nails done in Spain is very inexpensive, and I can get a mani and a pedi done with $50. I just do a classic french and call it a day. Normally I do my nails at home, but all my stuff is in the US at the moment, so to the nail salon I go.

Step 3: Outfit

I am in my budgeting era, and I am not getting a new outfit for this outing. This man is upper-middle class, he golfs, he plays tennis, he's a former junior Spanish national figure skater, you get the idea. The outfit I'm wearing is something I know I love and feel sexy and comfortable in, and it's something I know will catch his eye. And that's all there is to it.

Step 4: Skincare + Makeup

I've been slacking on my skincare, but there is always time to turn things around and my skin is very mildly textured, so I need to really hydrate it so that when I apply my makeup it looks good and applies evenly. I'm going to go very minimal on the makeup because this is just dinner with a friend, not a date, so I'm going to walk the line between showstopping and more casual.

Step 5: The Gym

You guys already know that I've been in the gym daily for 30 Hard, so I'm going to continue this for the sake of my health and mental wellness, and to ensure I look as good as possible in the outfit I choose to wear to dinner.

Step 6: My Smile

My smile is my most complimented feature, and I plan on using it to my advantage and so for the next several days, I'm going to be oil pulling, brushing twice a day, tongue scraping, AND flossing, and if I can get my hands on some whitening strips, I will be using those to get a few shades brighter. My oral health has been desolate recently and I've been drinking a lot of coffee, so the time is now to make sure I get back into a good routine and use my best asset to dazzle and make this man fall in love with me.

Those are all the major steps! I try to make it easy and painless, and this dinner is a little impromptu, but I think it's in my best interest to show up and show my face since my presence has been specifically requested. These tips are not anything crazy in my opinion, and I hope this short guide is helpful to you!