Mommy Needs You To Smoke The Whole Cigarette So You Grow Up Big And Strong, Ok Sweetie?

i think it’s so funny that alcohol is poison. yayyy little fruity poison with an umbrella and ice

the urge to fuck him when he starts rambling about nerdy shit i don't understand

if you need me i will be internally screaming but being so normal and sexy about it

whatever didn't kill me turned me into this

it’s psychological horror to YOU. to me it’s a romcom

Moon in the first quarter phase l Andrew McCarthy

It’s a five-minute walk from my house to the pub.

It’s a thirty-five minute walk from the pub to my house.

The difference is staggering.

life is so hard i’m so glad it still manages to have the capacity to be really fucking funny

the world is a beautiful place where u can kiss and hug and fuck your friends. if u want to