Latest Posts by lalliwaly - Page 2

I can feel my h!ps bønes while standing..

I CAN FEEL MY H!PS BØNES WHILE STANDING 🧚🐞✨

My life is full of challenges Imputed by myself

The next one is to not have my p3r!ød next month HAHAHAAAAA

Wish me luck ✌️

Now it has become more than just a way to distract myself from negative thoughts.

Ana is a part of me.

TW: fck3d up 3d thoughs

Every single month, when the cramps hit, I dream about the early menopause I can create with 4n4 and I whisper “maybe next month I’ll be s!ck enough”

This is not very “mentally stable” of me

DAY 25

maybe my collarbones? I don’t really know I suffer from bødy dysmørph!@ hahaha

ON TODAYS FØØD EPISODE 🐣

Breakfast~ 3 coffee + chicken and veggies + 1 omelette + fruit platter + 3 little cakes + 3 little tempeh mendoan and 2 croquettes Snack~ nuts mix + 1 ice Americano + 1 coffee Dinner~ 1 nasi goreng

Total:~ 1900-2000

First day of my period and a 5h hike, yeah better not r3str!ct today If I count everything my body burned at least 800 more than usual which means more than 1/3 of my maintenance + I really don’t care as long as it can prevent me from getting sick lmao I feel really weak right now

To my dear digestive system, Could you do your work properly for once? 4 days.. it’s starting to get a bit long hahahaaaaaaa 😊

I usually don’t count the c@l that I burn but today is a special day because if I don’t do it the culpability will be even worse

I had a HUGE breakfast this morning because we went on hiking during the night (2am to 7am) for 5 entire hours and I felt really weak after

I burned more than 700 c@l during this hike and I’m currently using this number to calm myself down when I think about breakfast (I ate a lot of veggies, fruits and protein but still in an enormous quantity)

I’m not sure but I’m thinking about sk!pping at least one m3@l.. maybe both we’ll see

DAY 24

If a m3t@bday count as a ch3@t day then yes

I do it because I don’t want to go back to the mentality state that I was 5 years ago but it’s actually really hard for me to 3@t so much in 1 day

ON TODAYS FØØD EPISODE 👒

Breakfast~ 3 coffee + chicken and tempeh with lots of veggies + 1 omelette + fruit platter + 1/2 small lamingtons cake + little sweet steamed bread Lunch~ 1 ice Americano Snack~ 2 banana mas + 1 ice Americano + 1 coffee Dinner~ rice and chicken curry with sambal and veggies + corn ice cream

Total:~ 1500

Lots of coffee today lmao

They said fermented foods are good for you… Alcohol is fermented hahaha

TIPS—bødy dysmørph!@ edition

— TAKE YOUR M3@SUR3MENTS!!! Seriously you can’t trust your reflection and your w3!ght is not totally accurate Combining it with your m3@sur3ments can really help you to not stress to much because of the deformation in the mirror The numbers tells you the truth! No it’s not possible that you’re looking totally different from an hour or a minute ago, IT IS IN YOUR FCKING HEAD !

— MASSAGE YOUR FACE Idc if it’s gua sha or anything else but I know that for me it’s help to feel the shape of my face under my fingers + you’re taking care of your skin so it’s a win-win (remember to hydrate it before doing anything!!)

— TRY ON CLOTHES THAT YOU KNOW FITS YOU Pretty simple but works a lot when you’re panicking, your clothes won’t change s!ze overnight you can trust them At least more than your reflection

— AVOID THE MIRROR FOR A TIME You can go back to it whenever you want, just take a break from it and do something else like working or watching something it doesn’t matter JUST don’t trap yourself by staying before the object

Have a good day everyone 🧚

Lmao i just thought about summer, I’m working in a restaurant next to the beach during this time and the good point is that I’m gonna move every day like crazy and dancing/partying every night but the bad side of it is that I will only survive on pizza and alcohol hahahaaaaa

I’m mean it’s the vibe and I shouldn’t be scared because, even with my poor summer d!3t, I always somehow loose w3!ght during this period. If it worked before why would it be different this time? But I’m still afraid.. I’m starting in 1 month and a half

I’m thinking one pizza a day + couples of drinks (and probably some extra snacks added) should be my maintenance actually 😭 I won’t have the time to count my daily intake anyway

Idk if I’ll be able to journal during this time because it gets really busy during the season so if I disappear, it’s probably because I’m doing fine, just busy. Also I won’t be able to w3!ght myself during this time but I will try to continue m3@sur!ng myself to track my progress or maintenance (and reassuring myself too let’s be honest here lmao)

Bonus points: my boss shows 3d patterns but don’t really link them to it. She always making small remarks and constantly comparing herself to me so I don’t know how I’ll be able to handle it this year.. I mean the cheque is good soooo yeah MONEY HAHAHA

DAY 23

Idk anymore haha, I sure act like I am on a daily basis but overall I don’t think I’m happy, more like grateful about the events in my life and my surroundings, friends and family

I started this journey to numb my feelings.. well I think it’s working pretty well lmao

ON TODAYS FØØD EPISODE 🐛

Breakfast~ 1 ice Americano Lunch~ gado-gado with 2 krupuk + 4pcs of tofu goreng + 1 ice Americano Snack~ 2 ice Americano Dinner~ nasi goreng with 1 krepek

Total:~ 1300

First day of the trip and so far I’m doing pretty well :)

Sh!t I’m constipated

ANYWAY GOOD DAY EVERYONE 🎀

Kinda proving me that I’m not 3@ting enough for my bødy to let go of any c@l I give him hehe

DAY 22

The typical “Are sure you gonna 3@t more”

Aaaaaand one that I found terrible “ If I push you, you’ll roll ”……. This one hurts pretty bad The funny part is that I wasn’t even f@t, I wasn’t sk!nny either, just normal lmao

Little thing that can help (eventually?) First of all this is a daily reminder that one day that you consider bad will not mess everything up, don’t give up just for one day IT’S OKAY 💚💚

Tonight I indulged myself to have a snack, 3/4 of an apple and 15 vegetables crackers with a little bit of chickpeas left from my dinner.. right after I started to freak out, saying to myself that it was way too much and that I ruined everything I was genuinely scared and felling like a 🐖 I tried to take a step back after some time and decided to see how my bødy would react to this (NOT AT ALL) b!nge I just had. Like wtf girl 300 is not that bad when you only had no more and probably less than 1300 during the day CALM THE FCK DOWN And you know what? Turns out my bødy was just hungry haha :) I feel good, satisfied and not bloated at all So to anyone out there that is starting to feel really bad because you choose to 3@t something more than what you planned for the day it’s gonna be okay <33 + if you’re like me you probably over counting/estmating anyway haha It’s okay to have a little snack once in a while even if you already had a m3t@bday, maybe you were just hungry and this snack won’t make you bloated

except if you stressed it out to much or you let yourself have an B episode because of it… it will only make things worse

Hope it reassured the people who needed to hear it 🧚🐞

ON TODAYS FØØD EPISODE 🎒

Breakfast~ 1 ice Americano + 5 vegetables crackers with cucumber, granola/chickpeas, rare tempeh and Greek yogurt Snack~ 1 chicken sausage + 15 vegetables crackers Lunch~ scrambled eggs on toast with melon and salad + 1 ice Americano Dinner~ egg protein bowl + 5 vegetables crackers with fruits and Greek yogurt

Total:~ 1600 (max)

I walked out of this day controlling my guilt over the 15 crackers and the beginning of a potential binge so I feel proud of myself

I think my p3r!ød are coming, I feel stuff and my tummy is blo@ted and b!gger even tho the other part of my bødy aren’t

But I feel so miserable, this moment is really hard because, even though I know that it’s just the time of the month and it’s okay, it feels like I’m losing my progress and it’s very scary

DAY 21

My nose (number one ALWAYS)

My freckles

My wrist

ON TODAYS FØØD EPISODE 💋

Breakfast~ 1 ice Americano + 5 vegetables crackers with fruits and Greek yogurt Lunch~ roasted chicken with mushroom pepper sauce and steamed vegetables + 1 ice Americano Dinner~ protein salad + green salad, 5 vegetables crackers with fruits and Greek yogurt

Total:~ 1300

What a great day

Post m3t@bday update I’m not feeling bloated? I’ll take it

DAY 20

5 years ago It worked It became an obsession I couldn’t stop I started to r3cøvered, felt happy and starting to get better (in a good way) I r3l@psed ✌️

I know that m3t@bday is important to trick my bødy for him to think I’m not restricting but DAMN I DONT FEEL GOOD RIGHT NOW

And it would have been a typical wieiad couple months ago just to maintain?? HOW ?

It feels like I binged even though there’s no way.. help! even for today, I fully know that I always over count but it just feels to much aaaaaah

M3t@bday make me feel like I’m pregnant

ON TODAYS FØØD EPISODE 🦋 m3t@bday edition

Breakfast~ 1 ice Americano Lunch~ chicken mentai rice + 1 ice Americano Snack~ 1 Sourdough chia cranberry + cherry tomatoes and vegetables crackers + chicken cheesy sausage +1 bottles of vitamin C orange water + 1 ice Americano + whole bread with Greek yogurt Dinner~ egg and cheese on slice of whole bread + green salad + 1 green tea

Total:~ 2000-2300

I really tried this time and I finally reached for sure the 2000 (I would normally need 2100-2300 for maintenance so it’s a win hehe) Since I would have never be able to do it in just 2 meals I tried the snacking small portions method and it worked pretty well

I was worried this morning because my shirt felt tight but after m3@sur!ng and questioning myself I came to the conclusion that it was because of my bøøbs AHAHAH GREAT DAY EVERYONE

DAY 19

Yes a couple, and they all reacted differently

My family was worried a lot especially my parents, they tried to do their best

My best friend at the time scolded me (it was funny not in a harsh way)

One of my dear friend noticed and told me out of nowhere “you gonna 3@t right?”

Some of my other friends understood because they were struggling or struggled with something similar but kept an eye on me just to be sure I was okay

I have this friend that I love so much but don’t see that often, who told me that the fact that I was leaving for 4 months was worrying because maybe I could rel@pse… they couldn’t been more right AHAHAHAH do they see the future or something??