SPY

Chaotic academia

Is not being able to decide what book to read because you want to read them all at once.

It’s keeping a click eraser in your hair for when you mess up but then forgetting it’s there until the end of the day when you go to lie down in bed and it stabs you in the back of the head.

It’s staying at YOUR SPOT in the library at your uni until the workers kick you out at closing and knowing all their names bc this happens all the time.

It’s spending way more than you can afford on used books you can’t help but buy because they’re your comfort, your company.

It’s sitting out in the middle of the street at night and breathing deeply and the feel of the pavement under your hands and the sounds of the darkness and just wanting to stop, to think, to feel something, anything at all because you’re so inexplicably numb and you just want to be still, to be present in that moment

It’s changing your major four five six times and having crises about what you want to do in life and getting pissed because damn it i want to do it all; I want to study chemistry and latin and history and archaeology and paleontology and literature and Celtic history and music because there’s so many incredible things to learn in the world but I just don’t have the time to do all of them so don’t waste a single fucking second doing what you don’t love lest you look back on life with regret

My friend called my 6 year old a hummingbird and he burst into tears, so I remedied it by talking to him about red tailed hawks. His favorite bird is now a red tailed hawk. He really likes how big their talons are and he wants to see one eat a mouse

I love Barnabos and I think that he is most creative version of a path of the beast barbarian I have seen but sometimes I can’t help but laugh a bit because everytime he rages I just think of this

Y'all I need this

Ok I have an idea for a fanfic but I’m never going to write it because I regularly abandon projects and I have exams soon, so I’m just going to post the idea here:

SO the fic is done in the style of one of those family comedies where the parents of a dysfunctional family invite their now adult children to like a lakehouse for a family holiday to try and reconnect or some shit. (I think this is just because I watched this is where i leave you recently…)

Han decides from literally day one that he can’t deal with everyone and just fucks off to fish with Chewie, the family dog. He probably leaves at like the ass crack of dawn to get the good fish?? idk anything about fishing???

Ben totally just rocked up with Hux, his boyfriend of like 4 years, who no one knew anything about.

Ben decides to show Hux around the lakehouse but ends up tripping over his untied shoelaces after Hux shoved him and breaks his wrist. This results in the ENTIRE family turning up to the hospital which turns into an absolute shit show. (”how did this happen?” “well doc, turns out the love of my life is a massive asshole and he pushed me down a hill” “actually, he’s an absolute child who can’t tie his fucking shoelaces”) (”oh look at that, the doctor said they have to amputate your hand, hope you weren’t attached to it” - Rey, probably) Rey posts the whole thing (including the video of Ben tripping) on tiktok 

Ben wacks people with his cast like the child he is

Rey and Ben are cousins but grew up together so have the whole sibling rivalry thing going on

Luke is definitely the most chill, but like to the point it pisses Leia off, like Han catches himself on fire using the bbq but Luke doesn’t even notice because he’s too busy meditating by the lake

Finn and Poe are there because they pretty much grew up in the Solo-Organa household

Finn and Poe’s whole storyline revolves around them pining for each other but neither of them admitting they’re in love with the other. Everyone else can see it though, to the point that they started making bets

Leia gets fed up with everyone so just ends up baking to unite everyone through food but ends up getting so sick of Ben’s shit that she throws a whole ass pie at his head. This is just inspired by my own extended family and that one video I saw of an Italian woman throwing a whole uncooked pizza at her son

Ben and Hux 100% have a massive fight and Hux runs off to the nearby town and Ben has to go around asking if anyone has seen an angry ginger asshole. They reconcile and have a touching™ moment, which is ruined when Ben admits he threw Hux’s suitcase in the lake and they go back to normal. Hux has to wear Ben’s clothes for the rest of the trip

The holiday ends when the lakehouse burns to the ground. No one knows who did it. It was Leia. 

Same and same

am i the only one realizing just now that luke and leia were premature babies?

I've been informed that the screenplay for Deadpool 4 (aka Deadpool and Wolverine Part 2 Electric Boogaloo) is going to keep their dynamic exactly the same (minus the initial animosity), and right at the end of the movie Wolverine is going to casually mention that they're married. Got married about a year after they met. For the tax benefits, obviously. Deadpool, while winking at the camera, will add "among other reasons", and then the movie will immediately cut into credits.

"i'm looking respectfully" well i'm looking carnally. i'm looking like a whore

The Kiss of Life - A utility worker giving mouth-to-mouth to co-worker after he contacted a low voltage wire, 1967