sillypolilla
75 posts
Latest Posts by sillypolilla
ur future nurse is using chapgpt to glide thru school u better take care of urself
"If you use em dash in your works, it makes them look AI generated. No real human uses em dash."
Imaging thinking actual human writers are Not Real because they use... professional writing in their works.
Imagine thinking millions of people who have been using em dash way before AI becomes a thing are all robots.
REBLOG IF YOU'RE A HUMAN AND YOU USE EM DASH
fanfic writing culture isn’t “oh dang! I wanted to write about this prompt with this character but someone else already wrote it, so now I can’t”.
fanfic writing culture is always “two cakes is better than one. the more the merrier. there can ever be enough fics of this character with this prompt!”
Fanfic is a free hobby.
It's one of the last few things we can have as a society that's free. You can engage, for free. People give you things (art, stories, etc), for free.
Don't buy into the consummerism just because it's everywhere else.
You don't have to consume everything you interact with. You don't have to use things, just because they exist.
You're allowed (still, for now), to have things that are enjoyable for free.
Do you realise how insane the world is? We don't have many places where we can just be, for free anymore, but ao3 is. Did you notice we don't have ads in ao3? We don't have pop ups? Where ELSE do we not have that?
Where else can you just go and not have to wait for a commercial to be over or for ads to be on the sidelines?
I don't think the younger people understand, but the whole of internet used to be like this. YouTubers would do Youtube for free, just because. You couldn't monetise your internet presence before.
Ao3 is like a little preserved corner of the internet where the old internet used to be, and it's being attacked by people who do not understand that free things are allowed to exist without judgment.
Please don't ruin this for us.
Some of us need it.
BAN ON CONVERSION PRACTICES IN THE EU. GO SIGN IT. DEADLINE IS FUCKING MAY 17. WE'RE STILL MISSING 800.000 signatures. FUCKING DO IT.
Dudes shouldn't have to prove themselves by having spartan greyscale homes with dollar store rubber shower curtains and a mattress on the floor. Do you know what life is like with linen
John and Arthur’s Established Dynamics With Dutch And How This Impacts Redemption: An Analysis
What makes Dutch Van Der Linde such a compelling antagonist is his extreme narcissism, both covert and apparent. Red Dead Redemption 2 is particularly keen on showcasing this, as players get to experience Dutch’s charisma and mental decline through the eyes of Arthur Morgan, who loves Dutch dearly. On the contrary, Red Dead Redemption 1 displays John Marston grappling with the order to eradicate his former gang members, including Dutch. Through John’s perspective, players get to understand the complexities that come with having to confront a path that has both benefited and destroyed you. Yet, both protagonists serve the same purpose: the complex relationship one may have with a narcissistic “parent” figure. While both John and Arthur appear to have conflicting personalities with one another, they find a common understanding with one another through their sibling-like bond that has arisen from both being raised by Dutch.
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Arthur was only fourteen when he was taken in by Dutch. After a childhood filled with death, brutality, abuse, and homelessness, Dutch was able to swoop in, take Arthur off the streets, and give him a sense of security. This meant everything to Arthur, and with Dutch, Arthur was able to finally have a stable, present, and attentive father figure in his life. However, what Arthur consistently struggled to pick up on was Dutch’s true intentions, which were not as loving and fatherly as Dutch wanted them to seem. By recognizing Arthur’s underlying anger and need for validation, Dutch was able to condition Arthur into being the perfect bodyguard: violent, strong, and eager to do the job right.
Arthur is heavily reliant on Dutch to the point that he sacrifices self-autonomy for Dutch’s sake. The storyline with Mary Linton is a prime example of this. In actuality, Arthur could have chosen to protect himself and run away with his former lover, but Arthur’s entire life has been centered around Dutch’s gang. When Mary says that there is a good man inside of him wrestling with a “giant,” there is a reason why she does not claim that this “giant” is evil or inherently bad; it is only larger than Arthur is. This internal struggle centered around remaining loyal to himself or to the people he calls his family is central to Arthur’s redemption arc, especially through the use of the honor system. Both low and high honor result from a series of cations that allow Arthur to redeem himself, but high honor means that Arthur’s time concludes with the acceptance that he was able to fight for what felt true to himself, while low honor is Arthur getting killed fighting against the very thing that caused the gang’s destruction.
Either way, Arthur redeems himself by fully embracing the notion that Dutch is a flawed and selfish individual who has proven his own safety to appear more vital than protecting the gang as a whole. Yet, it takes the duration of Red Dead Redemption 2 for this truth to be fully embraced by Arthur, who continues to base his actions and existence around pleasing Dutch. Getting called “son” or “my boy” by the man Arthur has been conditioned to rely on is what pushes Arthur to continuously combat his own moral code. Additionally, Arthur cannot fathom the idea of being disappointing to Dutch in any sort of way, even if it causes him to abandon his own sense of right or wrong. By beating up Thomas Downes despite feeling wrong about it, Arthur contracts tuberculosis and is forced to run on dwindling time as a result of his vile actions. Yet, this extreme realization that self-betrayal is equally as harmful as rejecting the expectations of somebody you love is what ultimately catalyzes Arthur’s journey of change.
Arthur’s conflict with John also tells a lot about Arthur's life and for other people. When John turns his back on both Abigail and the gang as a whole, Arthur struggles to find the reason for this. Rather than recognizing the deep-rooted fear and self-doubt that John has been facing, especially when it comes to continuing to live for the gang, Arthur berates John because John is doing something Arthur himself has done and regretted: making the wrong choice when it comes to standing by a loved one. While Arthur chose to “love” the gang more than Mary and then had to endure the consequences for such a choice, John, who is both terrified of disappointing Abigail and conflicted about his changing perspective on the gang, is choosing to avoid both entirely and run away for an entire year. Upon John’s return, Arthur is furious that the gang, especially Dutch, is willing to welcome John back with open arms. This makes Arthur resent John for the choices John has made, but at the same time, have a deep-rooted jealousy over the fact that Dutch treated John well for being disloyal, while the expectation from Arthur is that he will never act in such a way, and thus, Arthur feels John is receiving blind loyalty from Dutch. However, Arthur is misunderstanding a much more complicated relationship dynamic.
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Like Arthur, John also has an underlying incapability of living apart from the gang. Despite his issues with Dutch, John will always have a complicated sense of reliance on Dutch whilst resenting the life John believes was given to him. However, while Arthur falls into the role of being Dutch’s “golden child,” being Dutch’s trusted right-hand man and gang enforcer, John gets a much more complicated role. John is Dutch’s scapegoat child who is heavily criticized and berated no matter how hard he may try to prove himself worthy; however, if John tries to reject Dutch following this treatment, Dutch knows how to masterfully reel John back in. For example, even though Dutch welcomed John back into the gang, it is something that gets used against John in his weaker moments for his guilt to corrupt him into obeying Dutch. Additionally, Dutch making John say “yes, Dutch” out loud is a way to force John into a position of submission and lower status in the instances where he dares to challenge Dutch. John tends to be much more direct when it comes to critiquing Dutch as opposed to Arthur’s display, which comes across as concerned rather than combative. Thus, John and Dutch kind of have this established dynamic where John acts as a defiant child whom Dutch must remind to be loyal and obedient, consistently forcing John to align with an outlaw lifestyle that he is contemplating the morality of.
John is more independent than Arthur in the sense that he is deciding who he wishes to be dependent on. Throughout both stories, it is evident that John resents authority figures, and this is where his childishness shines through. While Arthur will respect authority if Dutch tells him to or if Arthur feels that person is worthy of respect, while John is much more weary and combative from the start. This is simply part of his nature, and Dutch understands and fuels this so that John can serve him. However, Abigail offers a stark comparison to Dutch. While Dutch ultimately demands blind obedience, Abigail demands change in John because she wants John to be less afraid of himself. Abigail understands John’s internal struggle with power, loyalty, and abuse cycles, and she directly combats it. She is somebody who challenges John to do better, which is something he has lacked his entire life. In a world where he is expected to serve for the sake of others, Abigail pushes him to serve himself, which will ultimately allow John to serve her, too.
It could be argued that John’s sense of “redemption” is vastly different from Arthur’s. The very fact that John ran away for a year following Jack’s birth is very telling of the internal conflict eating him alive; John knows he cannot exist on his own, and he must now decide who to be loyal to. While in his heart, he wants to dedicate his life to Abigail and Jack, John does not know how to live a life independently from the world he was brought up in. John wants to be a good dad but never had a good father himself, and John wants to leave the gang, but this would isolate him from both Abigail and the only community he knows. This endless feeling of servitude is something John understands he cannot escape. In Red Dead Redemption 1, this sense of being used by others is crushing John, especially because the United States government has kidnapped John’s family and will only release them if John vows to kill former members of the now-disbanded gang. John wants to protect his family more than anything, but he still struggles with obliterating people from his past who once meant everything to him. As a result, John’s avoidance is displayed through his acceptance of impending death. Throughout both games, John acts in reckless, death-seeking manners, putting himself in high-risk situations where death is a possible reality, such as straight up walking to Bill Williamson, essentially setting himself up to be shot. Yet, to John, being rescued from death serves him as a sign that his purpose on this Earth has not yet been completed, and there is more work to be done for those he loves before death can finally greet him. Ultimately, this shapes John’s redemption arc; John has to keep pushing forward so that he does not die at the hands of the gang and, instead, can conclude his life protecting the people at the core of his heart, which is why his death at the hands of the government following John’s completion of taking down his former gang members is both tragic and beautiful.
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One other major element of Dutch’s manipulation is how he treats John and Arthur like they are too dumb to understand nuanced topics. Yet, this is far from the truth. While John and Arthur are not the most well-read or academically savvy, the two display a deep level of thoughtfulness and insight about the world around them. John is hyper-aware of both himself and the world around him, and he is even one of the first people who recognized something deeply troubling about Dutch’s increasingly erratic behavior. This allows John to read people and situations based on intention rather than bias or false judgment. Even in Mexico, when John is being manipulated by multiple people, he understands that the people he is involving himself with are untrustworthy, but since he has no other options, he must wearily follow through with the situations he gets put into. While John often appears highly pessimistic, this is just a portrayal of his awareness of the harsh realities of the world he exists in, and there are just menial means for him to express this. Even if he did, Dutch would likely berate him until John regretted speaking up in the first place. On the contrary, Arthur appears to be more sheltered than John is, likely because Arthur grew up knowing fewer people and crimes. Yet, Arthur has a much more artistic soul than he lets others see, taking a lot of time to analyze and sketch what he encounters in this world that he finds interesting. His journal displays introspective writing that highlights the faults of both himself and the world around him that he prefers to pretend do not exist, and Arthur gets along very well with people who are atypical thinkers or live alternative, authentic lifestyles. Yet, because neither John nor Arthur read philosophy or desire “high-society,” Dutch demeans the two into believing they are unintelligent and incapable of complexity. Thus, if either one questions what Dutch is doing, he knows that he has the power to make John and Arthur believe that they are too stupid to do so. Yet, John is much more combative to this perspective than Arthur is, and John frequently makes comments to Dutch that question his decisions. In these moments, Dutch feels the most challenged and resorts to harsh insults that directly call out a personal struggle either John or Arthur have, reestablishing that they must remain loyal to Dutch because otherwise they are “worthless.”
Red Dead Redemption is beautiful in many ways. The intricate world design, multitude of storylines, and raw portrayal of complex realities make for a story that is compelling, relatable, and thought-provoking. Yet, one aspect that I think sets the Red Dead Redemption franchise apart from other stories is its hopeful and honest representation of the struggle to find a meaningful conclusion for a life filled with violence, abuse, and uncertainty. Neither John nor Arthur displays a sense of dreading their mortality. Instead, death in Red Dead Redemption serves as a reminder that the future is never promised, so it is important to make the most of the present because what is happening now is the only inherent truth of life. For a multitude of years, Dutch prevented the acceptance of such a reality for John and Arthur, and Dutch sold the false truth that he is the only truth in either man’s life, and as their “God” and “father,” both must worship him above all else. Yet, as fate closes in more and more on both John and Arthur, the realization that Dutch is dangerous not only gets embraced, but it allows for the opportunity to spend the time both have left doing what feels right rather than remaining with what is familiar. While the past can never be altered and the reality of death cannot be evaded, there is a sense of power in the realization that life cannot be foreseen or controlled, and thus, one must live each day remaining loyal to oneself. You are the only thing guaranteed to be both born and ended with you, so why betray the very being that allows you to exist at all?
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to make things clear i just love showing the sentimental, tender aspects of otherwise codependent fucked up relationship of jean and harry. harry is a sap, you see. a week with kim and if you're nice to him you develop this trust that can be reached only if you're together in the line of work. jean and harry were working two or three years together max, but as that snapcube quote says, SOMETHING JUST HAPPENED. you dont just help your partner get into the motorcarriage as if hes a flightless bird when he's been running around for a week straight!!! as argo tuulik said, there is caring and tenderness within jean, beside his absolutely awful behavior. this is curious to say the least.
On Harry, Jean and severing the ties of codependency
Jean chooses to leave Harry [to die in Martinaise] if Harry is willing to continue his harmful habits. He hangs on if Harry gets any better, even if a little, and if Harry has someone with him, be it Cuno or Kim.
Jean says stuff like "I won't let my life unravel because of this", "I'm clinically depressed, sorry I wasn't there to butter you up", writer Argo Tuulik says "The reason Jean hasn't killed himself is because of work, work is the only redeeming thing that gives him purpose, and he cracks cases with Harry and works like he's got devil on his back", etc. It's clearly the codependency. He feels attached to Harry's wellbeing, he's affected by Harry's antics more that anyone else. He says horrible shit to Harry cause to him saying all that it's something along the lines of, how could you become this way? Do you want me to die with you? I'm not going to die with you. I'm letting go.
When you, as a player, help Harry quit drinking, or taking drugs, or both, if you do good policework, Jean sees hope in that. It seems to me Jean looks at Harry trying to get better and thinks to himself, hey, if *he* being that far gone can do it than I can too. *We* can. Which is... morbidly beautiful to think of. Even when Jean leaves you behind and tells you "This is over" the passive Empathy check tells you "Even now -- you're still his partner." He seems to cut ties with Harry, he puts an end to trying to reach out. Maybe I'm overthinking it, but it's not only that. He also gives up on himself, if he as Harry's partner failed to get Harry standing then he's basically nothing. A satellite spiralling out of his orbit, no longer attached to a planet that gravitates towards him. It's death on both sides -- on Harry's and on Jean's.
I think it's important to note how caring Jean is, in really small bits. He loves this motherfucker and absolutely despises him for what love is doing to him. That's his partner and best friend killing himself. You can't be too gentle when things get this rough. Jean still gets like that, at times you catch glimpses of compassion towards Harry, and it's a significant thing. Because Jean cares, and sees his value in helping Harry out, and hates that his value is counted on how he has failed in helping Harry out. It's awful to see, really. And also very realistic for relationships like that.
I hate Jean Vicquemare so much because I perfectly understand what he's going through and how poor mental health and being in a close relationship with someone also mentally ill fucks both of you up. Sending him some Prozac and a kick to the face cause in spite of what I say he's also really annoying at times, and I'm saying this as #1 Jean stan. I get how you feel, can you not call Harry a cretin heart emoji.
there was a great study a few years that went into the whole "ppl online are bigger jerks than irl cuz theres a virtual wall and no repercussions" and the researchers were expecting to see that be the case but it turns out that people who were really angry or argumentative online were also found to just be assholes in person and people who were pretty patient and nice online were found to be patient and nice in real person as well
and it just debunked that whole cynical idea that people will naturally be mean if theres no punishment for it
kras mazov cosplay what’s good
Touched on this before im a bit saddened by the complete removal of mutton chops in fem hdb fanart because in the game, they symbolize both his disco holdover complex AND the shame over his disability (law jaw). I think they matter to her character but i get cis women cant usually grow beards or whatever plus different connotations. So hm i think fem hdb would have just hugely messy hair. Big bangs across her forehead in a 70's style but not very well maintained. And i guess her shaving moment would just be cutting it all off and starting fresh with short hair. If harry du bloke was using the mutton chops as a security blanket for his jaw, you could move the paralysis higher up and make it so harry du broad uses her hair to hide paralysis in like, her forehead and eyebrows. If hd bloke was trying to channel a casanova superstar and ended up a stinky leering man, maybe hd broad was trying to channel a cool and aloof female celebrity but is viewed as a rude hag who should try looking happier. Just My Thots
And a close-up because the file is like GIANT
calling...
calling...
still calling...
...
Then, the ocean breaks.
______
Alternative caption: noooo girl where you goinnng aha
disco elysium being an inch wide and a mile deep makes it the most tragic thing in the world there’s no continuation of it
these are three of Kim's possible responses when harry tells him he's learned about the pale and all the 'stuck behind our eyes' lines make me feel insane. they have the same feeling to me as his 'abattoir' line — hinting at how much of Kim's inner life is characterised by terror, loss and isolation. he's sheltering in the safety of his skull but he's also completely trapped there.
which is why it's so good that he's so wrong. the world he lives in is one where people leak their perspectives, leave fingerprints on the world tape, where harry can figure out how to give a revolutionary high five and in doing so get a permanent buff to seeing from kim's perspective/reading his mind/whatever the fuck you want to say empathy and edc are up to. and obviously, mazov and nielsen had their own telepathic bond shit going on. people in elysium (especially massive communists) cannot stay behind their own eyes for shit. everyone is also kind of someone else. the world isn't what it is. get plasmed motherfucker
I think more portal fanfic writers should take advantage of the fact that glados *is* the facility.
She's not just in her chamber, she controls the entire place!!!! She is the entire place!!!!
Need more people to get quirky with it in fanfics. Chell kisses the wall in the middle of a test to distract Glados. or cuddles with her by just like. Sitting in small room.
Instead of holding hands she drags her hand across the wall as she walks through hallways. Takes care of her by cleaning the place sometimes.
Can you tell I'm. So normal about portal.
real darkness has love for a face.
prints available here
I'm going back to my playful colour era, never really realised I left it until my paintings became a little stale. Anyway, please say yes she's really over here like 🥺👉👈
Disco Elysium spoilers ahead.
One of the best things about Disco Elysium is the way in which it talks about having community, love, and support—or, perhaps more importantly, about not having it.
But you don't have to be alone. Not forever. Even we learn this, somewhere along the way. Take this interaction with The Pigs.
And then? What do we, a sad, lonely man, say to that?
I find myself thinking of our interaction with Tommy Le Homme…
… or even Idiot Doom Spiral.
What if you don’t have anyone, though? What if, rather than finding your way through your troubles, or making a family out of the people you have, you instead decide to turn away from the world?
That’s what happens with René.
It’s what happens with The Deserter too.
We see how that loneliness affected them. How it killed them, day by day. And how it doesn't have to be that way. How you can change.
This is a game about lonely people. Maybe one for lonely people too. And because of it, because of its community, we don't have to feel alone anymore.
Its this
ok i saw the meme i needed it to be rememed
we need to consider Harry’s epilepsy more it seems like he’s more prone to sub clinical seizures (the ones you don’t lose consciousness, not necessarily triggered by flashing lights) but he is absolutely having a pass the fuck out seizure at the church during that failed shivers check. was he at the discotheque back in the day with shades on, not seeing shit…
Not being able to call kim what he truly is in disco elysium makes me sad.
He is a silly billy.
Silly billy illy
Little silly willy billy illy man
Daba doop doop dead
my favourite 7/10 sharpshooter
My old fanart
kim “cover them up slut” kitsuragi
I was recommended @tea-stained-tabby’s disco elysium + rdr2 crossoverer fic and it did not disappoint so I made some art inspired by my favorite parts
This is not like a fully completed thought but yk
So I've done my first aid + CPR a few times. And every single time I try and bring up scenarios for fat folks
Specifically like 'what if someone is too large for me to wrap my arms around then to do the heimleich'
And its incredibly rare I get a decent answer.
How absolutely insane is it that me, as a fat person, is asking how to have MY life saved or to save ANOTHER life, is an impossible feat if someone is fat.
Most of the time they tell me to 'just try anyways uwu'
There has got to be a better option.