Strongshape - Mishmash

Healing is also realizing you're going to have trauma reactions even after you decided to be healthy. That even after saying: "I want to heal, and rest, and I'm going to try to get better," you still let yourself reject help, struggle with trauma reactions, and unhealthy habits. That it's okay, and it's a part of healing. As long as you try to get better.

It's not going to happen immediately. If anything, at first, it's going to get way worse, horrible, even. And then better, and then bad again, and then you'll start getting relapses. And that's okay.

Relapse is a part of healing. Feeling all the bad stuff is a part of healing. Allowing yourself to be traumatized is a part of healing.

-host

Sometimes life is about the little things you can look forward to! It doesn’t have to be big or grand, just something that makes you happy.

Chibird store | Positive pin club | Instagram

Reminder that you're actually interesting. Your hobbies are interesting, your interests are interesting, you are important and loveable and people appreciate you. You're just a loveable, interesting person.

you're not a monster. you're you. you're flawed, yes, but you're also incredibly alive. just human. real. capable of great things, capable of change and growth, too. don't define yourself by the inner critic lashing out at you. you're not your worst moments.

You’re tired. Burnt out. Exhausted. Stressed.

This lowers your capacity for emotional regulation.

You’ll cry more easily. Get dragged into low moods more easily. Simple little things where you’re like ‘dang, that shouldn’t hit so hard,’ will wallop you.

This will trick you into thinking you’re weak and can’t handle life. A loser.

Not so my friend.

It’s a signal that you need a nap, need to allow for more sleep at night, need to prioritize and scale back on what you can accomplish in a day, need to take a mental health day or even a leave.

Something’s got to give.

But!

It’s not your self worth.

Please forgive yourself for all the versions you couldn't become. Forgive yourself for the wrong things you said. Forgive yourself for not knowing what you wish you knew by now. Forgive yourself for the darker and shadowed parts of you, that are still just as beautiful. We have to learn to be able integrate all of the parts of ourselves because they are each in their own ways magnetic and beautiful.

It’s really easy to think that our friends and other loved ones think negative things of us when we’re not around but I have to say that it’s much more likely they’re thinking positive things.

I think about my best friend, and how beautiful she is and how I miss her and hope she’s doing okay.

I think about my partner at work and how much I love him and can’t wait for him to get home.

I think about my online friend and how amazing it was to meet her this year. I wonder how she’s doing and I feel so thankful she’s been a part of my life for so long.

I think about my cousins and how wonderful they are and how even though we don’t talk much anymore, they were a huge part of my growing up and I’ll always love them.

We often think positive things about our loved ones, and it’s likely they do the same for us as well.

32

”What’s it like?” Perpetual confusion. A simulation of what it’s like to be a chameleon if emotions and personality traits were colors. Periods of suspecting people close to you are plotting to hurt you or have hurt you on purpose. Being aware of everything around you at all times. Remembering what you’d rather not. Torching the wrong relationships in spectacular fashion by lashing out and falling back into isolation despite wanting to escape it. Not knowing what emotion you’re experiencing or how to process it, and sometimes it’s like roulette. Assuming others’ intentions and meanings to be hostile or unkind because why would someone be nice to you? The persistent sensation of “otherness” no matter where you’re at or who you’re with. Disconnection with the world around you.

There is no enjoyment.