Latest Posts by therealestmallet - Page 5
Sorry boss I’ll do better next time. It’s 2024 so I’ll start the year off w a bang
starting the day off with a bang. finishing the day off with a bang. i’ve shot two men today.
Indonesia
go to this random coordinates generator and say in the tags how you would fare if you were dropped where it generates without warning. i’ll go first i’d be dropped in the middle of the fucking south atlantic ocean and perish
I reblong him because I love fat cocaine pigeon stacks
reblog the money pigeon for a financially stable future
Guys this is real I’m the file it’s stored in
FIONNA AND CAKE SEASON 2 STORYBOARD LEAK ? ! ? OMG ? ? ?
My best friend said I looked Midwest emo bury me deep and far from all I know
my relationship exit surveys indicate women like when i am crying or in pain or being maimed or attacked by animals
Gyatt: Parody(?) of Giraffe by Miniature Tigers
I’ve been mewing
With sigmas dressed as freaks
They’ve been edging
Injured rizzlers in their sleep
Gyatt some feelings
That breaks my mewing streak
I can sigma
I know I can
That’s what you got for sticking out your gyatt
Oh, That’s what you got for sticking out your gyatt
Honey, That’s what you got for sticking out your gyatt
Oh, That’s what you got for sticking out your gyatt
Been looksmaxxing
Trying not to show the fact you Fanum Taxed me
You really rizzed me up
Like a sigma male
Being rizzed to death by memes
That’s an image, no one wants to see
That’s what you got for sticking out your gyatt
Oh, That’s what you got for sticking out your gyatt
Honey, That’s what you got for sticking out your gyatt
Oh, That’s what you got for sticking out your gyatt
Hey! It’s just another skibidi day where I’m at
My gyatt’s in Ohio cause I’m trying to looksmaxx
I wake up in the morning with a bad jaw ache
I edge and mew for 20 minutes then I’m off into the day
That’s what you got for sticking out your gyatt
Oh, That’s what you got for sticking out your gyatt
Honey, That’s what you got for sticking out your gyatt
Oh, That’s what you got for sticking out your gyatt
And that’s what you got for sticking out your gyatt
And that’s what you got for sticking out your gyatt
And that’s what you got for sticking out your gyatt
And that’s what you got for sticking out your gyatt
the sad truth about oppa homeless style
and the unfathomable evil that is reddit
last year my followers and i began an investigation into the origin of oppa homeless style and we quickly discovered that there appears to only exists one single screenshot of the mythical tumblr post:
the screenshot was posted to imgur on the 1st of march, 2014, and appeared on /r/thatHappened/ in a thread titled ‘Fedora’d villain shames woman for giving to the homeless’
to further our investigation, @swordcats contacted the reddit user who had posted the thread. the user responded, saying they believe they “found it on 4chan”, adding that it was “probably fake”
we still had hope that it could be a real tumblr post, but this confirmed our suspicion that it was possible the story was never posted to tumblr to begin with.
we then tried everything we could think of to find any mention of oppa homeless style that predates the imgur upload, but nothing showed up
we even tried carbon dating the post by the shade of blue in the screenshot
this didn’t help us find oppa homeless style, but by comparing it to older posts we were at least able to determined that the screenshot could have been taken around the time of the imgur upload
an anon later messaged me and suggested we should take a look at the post history of reddit user MechaMew2
as the anon noted, they were a frequent contributor to /r/thatHappened/
here are some of the tumblr stories they’ve posted:
after posting 10 different MechaMew2 screenshots to my blog, i was contacted by fellow detective @bluesidefanclub who had done their own investigation
and the findings were devastating…
ALL of these screenshots are fake. all of the posts that arent a screenshotted reblog are his own posts, evidenced by the little x’s on the bottom of some of the screenshots, which used to be tumblrs old delete button. i looked through his ENTIRE post history and every single one of them that isnt a screenshot of a reblog has the delete button on them. none of the posts that are screenshots of reblogs have the x on the bottom, though, so i tried searching for them. ive been on tumblr since 2011 and never saw any of them, even the ones that seemed viral. i searched key phrases from every single one and wasnt able to find any of the originals, and the only images of them that come up are the ones that were posted to imgur and reddit. this especially makes no sense for the “AAAA IT BURNS IT BURNS” post because (according to the screenshot) it had at least 83k notes at the time of screenshotting. so he probably just edited those with inspect element.
MechaMew2 has also been a frequent submitter to r/fatlogic were they post similarly ridiculous stories intended to make fat people look bad:
Tumblrina gets triggered by nephew; Hides his homework under the couch so it can’t hurt her anymore (3rd of october, 2014)
Fat-shaming Barbie gets told off at the gym (31st of october, 2014)
nowadays MechaMew2 is mostly fabricating fake facebook stories about pitbulls (they’re a frequent poster to r/banpitbulls)
Diapered pit bull named Naruto escapes through a window. Catch him and win dinner at Chili’s. (3rd of november, 2020)
Family cancels their Christmas; Sends the money to Trump (30th of november, 2020)
of all the tumblr screenshots, @bluesidefanclub was only able to find one real post (which still showed the url of the person who reblogged it)
in a last ditch effort @bluesidefanclub:
searched for oppa homeless style on google, every major image hosting site (photobucket, flickr, imgur, etc) and also did reverse image lookup on about ten different sites, and each came back with the imgur result from march 2014 being the earliest upload. i searched every visible tag on the post up to the end and found nothing, and searched twitter for “oppa homeless style” pre-dating the imgur upload and couldn’t find anything explicitly pointing to the tumblr post.
so yes… i think we must finally accept that oppa homeless style was never a real tumblr post
oppa homeless style was made by a redditor whose passion in life is to make fake screenshots of fake tumblr stories for fake internet points
as connoisseur of fake tumblr story i expected to be devastated by this news, but really it has only made oppa homeless style even funnier
my parents almost named me altoid
fuck it, naming my kid Yarlf. just really getting gross with it.
dead. but i refused, and i continue to walk the earth
trick or treat!!
aww and what are you supposed to be!!
i’ll lend you my power! bisexual blast! nonbinary null void black hole!
transgender beam
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
lots and lots and lots and lots
every time i go they’re almost empty and i get to sit in the dark w a buddy and snacks
fucking bonkers to me that people watch movies in theaters. you can't control the volume. you can't rewind when you miss something. you can't choose your own subtitles. you can't even pause to use the bathroom??? there's only like 7 movies to choose from????? and you must pay money for this privilege? grotesque. repugnance. act of torture.
literally me
I’m tired of not being able to do anything without immediately having to sleep for 8 hours.
hungry
“We have the same typology!!!!” Cool story bro! [loads gun] there can only be one
hehehwheje long option
heh good luck with that, i ate all the bullets!
“We have the same typology!!!!” Cool story bro! [loads gun] there can only be one
mines into the enneagram and he was like “4” and from what he told me basically mentally i’ll :/
having a friend who’s into typology is CRAZY bc she’s like “you’re an enfp 😊😊🙌” then I look it up and the first thing I see is THIS.
LIKE CAN I LIVE??????? CAN I LIVE.
then you must kill everyone hotter than you on the fucking planet (you won’t need to hurt a hair on anyone’s head)
puki how do I get a boyfriend? 😔
You need to be the hottest bad bitch on the fucking planet
tally hall memes and shitposts because its the 10 year anniversary of miracle musical!
also because i like this band a normal, regular, neurotypical amount and i think about them a normal amount and i am not constantly holding back urges to make unfunny tally hall references
“maria i swear to god if you don’t stop drawing on my fucking sunscreen”
“well i’m sorry i don’t want a permanent tic-tac-toe game burnt into my leg”
Download for the fun, delete for the feels.
hey ouch did you know owie blood should yeowch!! -should stay inside of your oof body owwch most of the time? ohhhmama! also ow i know owie you need it oowww for the experiments owie but could yeeeowza!!! -could you please stop poking me w that??? ow!!!!
this implies 9/11 happened in the campaign you play this in
e-emo bard... themed after Gerard Way... call that...... call that Gebard Way lmao
so real
dropped them into a blender
i'll never understand people with adhd who are like "well it comes with its struggles of course but at least it helps me hyperfocus on my passion, its like a superpower", like good for you for being the chosen one but my adhd makes me play tetris for 5 hours straight without any bathroom breaks while a rotation of the same 3 shows ive seen a bajillion times is running in the background
not enough platonic cuddling in this world methinks
do you have any dirty dishes 🍽️ in your room right now?
if so don't worry about it it's fine does anyone wanna kiss me on rthe mout