He's Five Feet Tall

Neil Josten wears a gold band around his left ring finger and is absolutely cheating on his partner.

Before he ever joined the Santa Fe Cougars, Josten was part of a pride campaign for Nike. So was Andrew Minyard. It was a big deal. The interviews around it said every athlete in the campaign was LGBTQ. Josten talked about his husband. Minyard talked about queer foster kids.

That, the Cougars speculate, is where Josten and Minyard reconnected. They went to college together, separated when Minyard moved to Santa Fe and Josten moved to Jersey, saw each other again at this campaign, and then, a year later, were on the same team again.

None of the Cougars have ever met Josten’s husband. Even at team parties, Josten never brings him around. Probably he thinks it would be too risky.

None of them have gotten close enough to Minyard to figure out his relationship status. But, the Cougars collectively believe, Minyard’s relationship status can only possibly make a bad situation worse.

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does anyone else suffer from the aftg effect? i remembers the moment i finished tkm and I was looking into the air thinking "nothing its ever gonna top these books", like, yeah, after aftg I read more books, but i wasnt able to connect as hard as i connected with the Foxes; and it never matters how long i stay away from the books bc im busy with my life, every single time i go back to them without fail, to the way too sweet andreil fanfics, to the beautiful fanarts, to this cursed fandom that always likes to suffer for some reason, they always drag me back. it never fails to impress me how much these silly little books mean so much for me and for many people too, and thats the aftg effect, the feeling of knowing ur fucked bc theres no way ur going to get over the books in this lifetime or the next one, once u start liking the characters, theres no way back.

Every day. Every damn day I wake up and wonder how Wymack must have felt hearing Jean say, “Kevin never once doubted you’d take him in … I laughed at him. I’d never taken him for a dreamer.”

I wonder how he let that sink in, thought over and over again of his first interactions with the kid and rewriting his perceptions with the context that not only did Kevin know that was his dad, but that Kevin trusted him. Unquestionably, before Wymack even did anything, Kevin ran to him because he believed that Wymack was someone safe he could run to. I wonder if Wymack thought about “my father comes to all my games, that is enough” knowing that Kevin truly meant it, maybe always has.

I wonder how Wymack felt then, when later, much much later, that broken boy who laughed at his son for believing in a father he never met calls him out of the blue. When, before Wymack could even get a single word in, begs him, voice wet and desperate why did you take him in?

I wonder how Wymack felt after the phone call ends. Hearing Josten, arguably his most distrustful kid, telling him “I’ve got him coach” and then hanging up the phone, and wondering if Rhemmen has enough strength to watch Jean eventually get to a place similar to where Neil’s at now. To finally learn, slowly but surely, how to trust. I wonder if that made him appreciate Kevin’s trust all the more.

just… I wonder

So do you think there was like maybe 3 minutes between seeing Neil irl for the first time and Neil opening his mouth that Jean thought he was pretty before he decided Neil is a horrifying creature?

Neil knows love exists because Andrew is full of it. He sees it when Andrew cooks two different batches of pancakes, one batch being regular and the other chocolate chip, because he knows Neil doesn’t like sweets.

He sees it when Andrew specifically puts sticky notes on the wall next to their front door because he knows Neil is likely to see them and be reminded of things he needs to do that day.

He sees it when he and Andrew drive hours to listen to Aaron give his valedictorian speech at his university graduation.

And he feels it when Andrew cradles his head in the dead of night and reminds him who he is. Saying:

“You are Neil Josten, a nuisance with a smart mouth. And you are home.”

hi me again um i'm thinking about andrew going to aaron's wedding. thinking about what nora said about neil using two favours, one to get him there, one to make sure he didn't start anything during the ceremony. did aaron check the guestlist eight times to make sure his brother was on there. did he make sure there were places and invites specifically for andrew and by extension neil. is it the first time aaron sees andrew in person since going to med school. does he wait by the entrance, half-heartedly greeting people, scanning the blurry faces for blond hair. does nicky have to drag him away eventually and tell him to relax and aaron, he's going to come, just breathe, okay? does aaron smile and thank nicky and then go back to inspecting the crowd for his identical copy. does he catch sight of andrew and immediately look away, move to a different area, because he needed andrew to be there, but he didn't realize he couldn't actually talk to him yet? and after everything's over, after dinner and the reception and everything's wrapping up, is that when andrew finally comes over. does he find aaron, against the wall, katelyn taking her cue to leave, and do they stay silent for a moment. if they speak who talks first? does aaron say "i didn't think you would come", admitting it out loud for the first time? does andrew say "i didn't think you had it in you"? or is it as silent as so many of their conversations as brothers have been, but the angry devotion touched with resentment doesn't burn like it used to, they're older now, family doesn't hurt now. the bridge across the gap between them grows stronger with every step they take across it.

wordlessly andrew says"i'm proud of you" and aaron says "i know."

andrew's first pro game in the city aaron lives. he doesn't send tickets or ask aaron to come and he doesn't even tell aaron his team is coming to town. if aaron wants to come he will. andrew can't make him do anything.

between quarters, the jumbo tron is showing a "look-a-like" game on the screen where the camera operators find people in the crowd who look like different celebrities or animated characters. andrew's not paying any attention to it when the crowd goes wild. a teammate nudges him to look up and lo and behold, wearing a Minyard jersey is andrew minyard's look-a-like, aaron minyard himself.

he rolls his eyes when the camera focuses back on him for the side-by-side shot and but aaron can see that andrew is actually very pleased.

might be reading into it too much but you know what? I think Jeremy not being able to have a real golden retriever because his family is allergic is symbolism for the fact that Jeremy’s family isn’t happy with the current Jeremy that they have and instead he has to put up a fake cardboard version of himself to please them and everyone else. But that might just be me 🤷‍♀️

imagine the foxes doing a tiktok challenge or something after a game and when they're getting out of the locker rooms they get asked to name which teammate is the funniest and most of the foxes saying matt, or allison or nicky, but neil going like: 'andrew', without missing a beat, and then andrew going: 'me' all serious and done with that kind of stupid social media stuff (because neil always laughs at his jokes and he's the only audience he cares about), and everyone in the comments are like: 'are they joking right??' 'neil is messing with andrew because they hate each other lol', but actually, in neil's opinion, andrew IS the funniest person ever specially because he tells his jokes with the best poker face and has the same dark and twisted fucked up humor as he does 😂

anyways, I just imagined that video so clearly and I need a socmed fic with this scenario now 😭

They deserve a good nap 😴