Latest Posts by xxsadist0nexx - Page 4

it’s my mom’s birthday tomorrow. my dad said that i’m useless. i can’t fo anything right. what about the card i made for her? what about the decorations i put up? no, still not enough. just keep yeling at me. i know how much you hate your child. what if i would just disappear? everything would be better without me, am i right, father? you make me relapse everytime, and i’m glad that you’re helping me with that. i can feel the blade cutting into my arms, making beautiful red lines. i can feel the blood running down. i can clean up the mess i made afterwards. just because of your help. that’s nice, isn’t it, father? i hope you’re proud of your little useless miserable child. you make me feel so horrible, that i caress my neck with my scissors. that i bawl my eyes out. that i can finally feel relieved again. now it’s time to hide the cuts. i’m very good at this. thank you father.

How do I befriend myself?  I am [after all] the now who hurt me the most.

me: I’M GONNA GET BETTER

me, 2 mins later: nevermind let me die

i know its been said b4 but growing up suicidal and then reaching an age you never planned to live to is extremely stressful and terrifying, and we deserve more credit for not killing ourselves and THEN having to make up for the time we spent not caring if we lived or died and not doing work to improve our lives.

05.04.2019 08.51

I hate my fucking body. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I hate it. My voice is too high, my chest too big, my face too feminine, I miss the Adam’s apple that I’ve never had, and I’m bleeding my guts out. Why can’t I bleed to death? I don’t want this body, I wish I could get rid of it.

I don't think most people understand the urge to kill yourself every time you do something wrong

no offense but your struggle is valid no matter how many people have it worse than you

Faxx 😭

I literally crave intimacy. Just physical contact my guy. One good honest hug. A kiss perhaps. To hold a fucking hand

I just want to be beautiful

Reblog if your SICK of these things:

FAT thighs

FAT stomach

FAT arms

FAT face

FAT hands

FAT calves

FAT knees

FAT hips

FAT EVERYTHING. 

I just want to be skinny…

If you need someone to talk to, message me

Fr tho

End of me // A Day To Remember

Last night was one of the worst. I just couldn’t stop crying cuz somebody close to me almost died. Thankfully everything turned out fine in the end but it really took a toll on me. I couldn’t sleep so I tried reading a book but that just made me cry more. Life is hard innit </3

Faxx 🌚🖤

Does anybody know the app name?

I'm over 3 months "clean" but, in Valen's name it's been difficult.

Haven’t been here for a long time, changed phones and App Store didn’t have tumblr for the Middle East store, I recently pulled some strings and got the app. No I don’t actively self harm anymore. Things aren’t the best but I’m trying xoxo

:) 🖤

The saddest moment is going to self harm and realising you have to look for clean skin to cut...

It's still self harm.

Made a promise i wouldn’t cut again to two different people… Does it count if I got really angry at myself and scratched too hard…more than once…

There’s no blood…the skin is just a little broke… Y'know

Yeepp

Anyone else feel like they’re just procrastinating their suicide