Latest Posts by xxsadist0nexx - Page 6

(':

Exactlyyy

If you don’t fucking want me anymore just tell me. Don’t play games with me ffs.

I myself am an ashtray. I keep lighting up and

stubbing myself out.

I take a breath and consume my own smoke.

Poison after poison,

my knack for self-preservation outweighs

my self-destruction by a single ash.

Where do I keep these butts of hope?

Half charred reminders that I almost

burnt out completely, twenty times over.

I paint it from every angle, but the truth remains:

Self-inflicted damage won’t disguise the

marks someone else left.

Me: *cuts myself at every minor inconvenience*

Me when the smallest cigarette ash burns me: BRO WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

Suing my parents.

I'm suing my parents for giving birth to me without my consent.

Things I’m doing right now to stay alive

1.

2.

3.

Never mind.

“I fall too fast, crash too hard, forgive too easily and care too much.”

— unknown (quote of the day 2)

Tips That Can Save Your Kid’s Life.

you broke me

you killed the child that I was

you caused permanent psychological damage

you broke me

just to get off? are you proud of yourself?

you always did like seeing me cry

I don’t know who is this monster wearing my skin

You want me to be happy? Put a gun to my head and pull the damn trigger.

“I want someone to see the dark parts of my mind. The messy, the scary, the destructive parts and still choose to stay.“

i hate how much i’ve shared with people. i want to take everything back

Can my body just stop functioning so I can die?

Stop guilt tripping the suicidal

People need to stop guilt tripping suicidal people. We feel enough guilt from our brain telling us what pieces of shit we are. Guilting us by saying we’re going to cause heart ache to those around us is unproductive. Instead of wanting me to stay alive due to your selfish reasons try and help me stay alive for myself. Just like cancer is part of the body attacking itself mental illness is the brain attacking the body and most of us who are suicidal or end up going through with it didn’t do so willingly. We lost a battle with our own brain. Please be kind and careful when talking to suicidal people like we try and be kind and careful to not hurt you with our feelings. We don’t want to hurt others. We are fighting within ourselves whether to release ourselves from such horrible pain or continue trotting on for the sake of others. We try our hardest. We’re not all successful. And while it’s heartbreaking when someone loses a battle to depression it isn’t their will or desire to hurt others. It’s this yearning to finally find inner peace, and it’s the body’s way of obtaining it.

“Put a gun to my head and paint the walls with my brain”

BMTH // Aligator Blood

Because I could tell you a million reasons of why I want to kill myself before I could tell one of why I don’t

“I want someone to see the dark parts of my mind. The messy, the scary, the destructive parts and still choose to stay.“

My brain needs to shut up shut up shut up. I want to smash it until it stops

Yes please.

can’t i just be hit by a car or something so i don’t have to kill myself

It’s been a few hours, you’ve just been hanging there. You’ve been quiet, too quiet. Usually there’s music playing, or your foot steps could be heard. But today, you’re quiet. Your little sister, who doesn’t normally come to greet you because you lock yourself away, decides to see what you’re doing. She assumes you’re taking a nap, or doing some homework quietly. She runs up the stairs, eager to see, but she comes to an immediate halt. You’re not doing your homework, nor taking a nap. Your music isn’t playing and you aren’t walking around. You’re hanging there, completely still, now just like her. At this moment, her whole world shatters. Everything she has ever known, looked up to, loved, is hanging there by a thread. At this moment, her life has been changed forever. At this moment, she wishes she was hanging with you.

Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.” No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.” No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.” They will die. Their hearts will break. They will hurt, more than you ever could. They will cry, scream, and break down. They’ll believe it’s all just a dream, praying to wake up. Except, they won’t feel that for a few seconds, or a few days, not weeks, nor months. They will feel that until the day they die. Everyday will be hell. They’ll think of you ever second. They’ll hate themselves for not being able to help or save you. They’ll wish they could die too. They’ll want to give up, just to be with you. They won’t be ever be happy again. They won’t smile. They won’t go back to their daily routine. They’ll die every time they walk past your room, or see a picture of you, or think of a memory with you. They’ll think, but stay quiet. They’ll visit your grave, feeling a knife go through their chest every time. And every morning when they wake up, no matter how long it’s been, they’ll wake up to thinking they’ll see you, only to be let down once again. And every night, they will cry themselves to sleep, because even though they refuse to admit it, know you’re gone forever.

Before you decide to take your life, think of your family, burying you. Yes, your own mother and father are planning your funeral. It’s supposed to be the other way around, but it’s not. They’ll have to call the cops, sign a death certificate, pick out clothing, buy a tomb stone, a casket, pick out flower arrangements, and more; All for their child’s funeral. The morning of your funeral, everyone who loves you is wearing black. Tears are streaming down their face, while their heart is breaking. Everyone who you thought didn’t need you, or didn’t care, are waiting in line to see you. They aren’t waiting in line at a party, or a graduation, or at a wedding reception. They’re waiting to see you, hands folded, lifeless, in a casket.

Before you decide to take your life, think of everyone you will be hurting. Don’t you dare say no one, because absolutely everyone will be affected. Your grandparents, won’t have a grandchild anymore. Your parents, won’t have a child anymore. Your brother or sister, won’t have a sibling anymore. Your pet, won’t have an owner anymore. That person you sit next to in class, won’t feel your presence anymore. Your teacher, won’t have a student anymore. That time your grandparents told you no, will haunt them forever, thinking it is their fault, that you are now dead. That time your parents yelled at you, will haunt them forever, thinking if they didn’t yell at you, you would still be here. That time your sibling said they hated you, will hate themselves, because they believe you would still be alive if they said they loved you instead. Those kids who made you feel bad, will wish they were dead too, because if they just smiled at you instead, you would be here. That teacher that said you didn’t meet her expectations, will feel like a failure, because you would still be here, if she believed in you. Everyone, who has ever been in your presence, will hurt, because if they showed you they cared, you would still be here.

Before you decide to take your life, think. Don’t just think of yourself, think of the consequences for everyone else. No one’s life will be the same again. That person who God made specially for you, won’t have you. That happiness that was waiting for you, will never show again. Before you decide to take your life, realize that you may be ending your pain, but you’ll be starting a lifetime of everyone elses.

If you are feeling alone, and think that suicide is the only way out:

My ask is open, and I’m always here. I’ll never judge you. I’ll try to help you.

If you are thinking of taking your life, call:

1-800-784-2433

1-800-SUICIDE