Ableism - Blog Posts
Sometimes, I see disabled people being ableist. It is not a common experience for me, but the people who do it tend to be extremely aggressive and have visible posts saying that due to their disability, sometimes their particular kind of disability, means that they are incapable of being ableist (and in the particular case that I’m thinking of, that if you think their ableist, you should get hit by a car and die). Now, this is obviously a problem. However, it is also an issue that, when I investigate the reblogs and comments on their post, the people who reply are ALSO being ableist against that person. That is in no way shape or form the fashion to be engaging them, and just encourages both parties to be more ableist.
This actually reminds me of a time I was in a hospital at an Epilepsy Monitoring Unit. It was in a pediatric hospital because I was 16 iirc. I was supposed to be there for three days, and potentially be temporarily taken off my meds while I was there. Well the woman who did my EEG there stopped it after 24 hours. She completely ignored the directions and never took me off my meds for the time I was there.
The issue is, i am diagnosed with epilepsy. I have had it show up on an EEG before. I also have PNES, for context. Right now, my epilepsy is managed enough that my PNES is the main issue.
The fact she immediately ignored all directions the moment she saw I was having PNES episodes from the portion of the EEG she saw. If she just did what she was asked, would I have gotten a better understanding of my epilepsy?
I don’t know if this is truly malpractice or not. Just felt the need to get it off my mind.
“You know that’s medical malpractice right, no doctor is actually doing that.”
Bold of you to assume doctors actually care about what’s malpractice or not when it comes to treating disabled and intersex people
almost bumping into an abled person: oh excuse me
almost bumping into a disabled person: OMG 😩😩 im SOOOOO sorry i dont wanna hurt you 🥺🥺 I'll get out of your way
more money
one (1) cat
every single book on my "books to buy" list
another cool rock
knees that work
ankles that work
hips that work
an airplane
Saw a thread on Twitter of "gifts to give a person with ADHD and autism" that was full of stereotypical and quite frankly patronizing items, so here's a list of I (autistic individual) want instead as a gift
Money
Fourteen billion dollars
Free coupon to kill somebody with my teeth
Suitcase full of money
Cool looking rock
Scratching post for me to sink my claws into
An albino elephant
The head of Jeff Bezos mounted on my wall
Uncooked rice
A cup full of blood
100k in cash
The fact that Selma Blair, a successful, wealthy, white actress, “cried with relief” when she was diagnosed with MS. After YEARS of suffering, not being believed or taken seriously by her doctors (who I’m sure were some of the ‘“best” doctors available) and being left to suffer as her illness worsened should really shed a light on the systematic issues chronically ill people are facing. It’s 2019. It shouldn’t be this hard.
Uhhhhhhhh that seems bad
Disabled Representation Has Come Farther Than You Think
You’ve Just Been Conditioned Not to See It.
I recently got into a huge fight with an abled friend about disabled representation, in which he was completely convinced that the stance he held was that of an ally. He’s a long time friend of mine and I know he really did think he was fighting for us and coming from a place of trying to help us.
And it really got me thinking about the way abled people perceive disabled people. And how that message is internalised and reinforced in so many ways.
My friend was trying to say that characters like Cyborg, Misty knight, Daredevil, Toph, Edward Elric, Bucky, Nebula, etc were not good representation. And he at first refused to listen to me (an actual disabled person) when I was like; no, we like that. we love that. we LOVE seeing badass and competent and sexy disabled people. It’s validating and empowering.
His argument was that it didn’t really count because nobody saw them as disabled and that it would be the same thing as saying Gamora is black representation.
While I understand where he was coming from, both of us also being black, it was hard to get him to understand how it wasn’t the same thing.
Gamora is a black actress painted green to portray a green-skinned alien. She has black features, yes, but within the narrative she very much is not a black woman. She’s an alien.
But a disabled character is always still a disabled character. Regardless of how high tech or SciFi or magical or fantastical the world or universe is; an amputee with a prosthesis is still an amputee. They are still disabled. Yes, even if their prosthesis shoots lasers.
And other characters, like Toph and Daredevil, who are both blind, have superpowers/superhuman abilities that allow them to overcome their disability. That does not make them less disabled.
Their blindness still impacts their everyday lives. They can’t read. They can’t draw. They don’t know what things or people look like, or what color things are. They can’t read someone’s facial expressions during a conversation. They can’t follow a map without assistance.
When I asked my friend for examples of what he considered good disabled representation he said Professor X, Oracle, and the Thinker. And that made me pause and I won’t lie, it upset me. It felt degrading. I got kind of angry at him and it got a little heated.
Because what he was saying is: the smart one in the wheelchair that never actually joins the battle because their body is too frail? Those are the only good disabled characters? The ones who still need to be protected and treated tenderly and are physically weaker?
Do we only exist when you can view us as some subhuman lesser other that you can take pity on?
But it’s not only my friend who thinks this way.
I’ve seen quite a few arguments online about people who don’t think Edward Elric is disabled, despite being an amputee.
Who don’t think Cyborg is disabled, despite the fact that his entire power set is due to a life support and mobility aid device.
And my friend was shocked that I, and many other disabled people, find these depictions of strong and confident and capable disabled people empowering. He fully expected that I would find those depictions offensive.
And that’s when it really hit me.
The issue is not that characters like Bucky or Toph or Daredevil are bad representations of disabled characters.
The issue is that people don’t perceive them as disabled. They’ve internalized this belief that disabled people have to be weak and delicate and fragile and in some way physically inferior.
They’re only considered disabled if they’re tragic and/or weak. Or ugly. People love to project a tragic subhuman otherness onto disabled people who are ugly.
If they’re cool and badass that confuses them. That doesn’t fit with the narrative that’s been built in their heads.
The idea of a competent, confidant, and strong disabled character, especially a cool disabled character is just so completely foreign to them that they don’t even consider it.
Now I’m not saying that depictions of disabled characters like Oracle or professor X are bad or harmful. We need representation of disabled people who aren’t strong and don’t have superpowers and maybe don’t feel particularly empowered. That’s a genuine representation of many disabled people.
It just isn’t the only one.
I think the issue with disabled representation is not that it doesn’t exist (as I’ve seen many abled people online claim in our defense) but that we need to shift the way we think of disabled people so we stop overlooking a lot of the really cool and badass and awesome disabled characters we do already have.
So if you read this far through this essay, please stop for a moment and consider the preconceptions you have about disabled people.
Have you ever overlooked a disabled character because they were strong, powerful, charismatic, or, (God forbid!) SEXY?
And if so, I’d ask you to take some time to examine in yourself why you don’t think of disabled people as being able to be those things.
Mod Izzy
Abusive relationships are crazy. I wasted almost 2 years on a girl who would repeatedly abandon, berate, and gaslight me into thinking I was the issue the entire time. I poured all of my time into them, and what I got back was them telling me I was never enough. The last time they abandoned me they established the fact they only wanted to be queer platonic. I accepted it because of the fact that I was utterly desperate for them, and all of them and I wanted that love no matter what form it was. Even when it hurt me when they would say things like, "I would never marry you. I want to meet my soul mate and marry someone else." When everything was all about sex, and how I never provided enough for them. Even on antidepressants that severely lowered my sex drive, there was always complaints on me never being in the mood, and being coerced into indulging in them. Abusive relationships are crazy because I thought I deserved all of this. That I was just a really bad boyfriend, that nobody would ever want anything more than sex with me. They felt so entitled to my love, and yet pushed me away when I tried to give it. Throwing buzzwords at me that they truly didn't know the definition of, which would ultimately be things that they were doing to me. At the end of our """"relationship"""", if you can even call it that- lord knows they hated being labeled as anything but platonic with me- I met a man who genuinely gave me his all and made sure I was safe and loved. I knew any day now that the war would finally be over and that I would be free from their abuse. They had no problem with my new friend until I started showing signs of interest with him, and then all of a sudden I was "just like every other man," and a "player". (Mind you we weren't even really in a relationship with them anymore! As they've established to us many times!). They were so afraid of him telling me to leave them that they hurled insults and harassed me, threatening me with the police and saying I'm a whore and all that. Yeah. And for a long while I believed everything that they said. I believed I deserved everything that they did and said. Abusive relationships are crazy because once you find your true person, you realize how brainwashed you were by your abuser and how horrible they actually were to you. How you can't make any excuses for them anymore. Just one of many men who experienced relationship abuse. I felt so weak compared to them, but I promise you aren't. You're not weak and I know one day you will find your person. My person and I will hit 8 months together very soon, and this relationship has been very healing to me. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Being a male victim of abuse DOES NOT MAKE YOU WEAK. IT MAKES YOU A VICTIM, AND THATS THAT. I love you all, and can only hope for each and every one of your safety.
Can we please stop calling Republicans compulsive/pathological liars, psychopaths, sociopaths, narcicists, delusional, etc? And can we please stop calling Democrats the r slur? I don't care what they've done, cut it out
Yes, even when it's Trump.
ADHD and autism spectrum is funny in a way that isn't funny. Like hello, welcome to society, your brain is hardwired to function the most efficiently within certain parameters you'll almost never end up in. You're either so good at switching subjects that other people don't enjoy talking with you, or you're so good at sticking to the same subject that other people don't enjoy talking with you. Fuck you and good luck.
Good video about the problematic history of freak shows and PT Barnum. It's around thirty minutes so fairly short, but he put a lot of effort and research into the history here
My cousin is noncompliant diabetic (type one,) but not by choice.
So, she's six. Her parents do not listen to her doctors and will not follow her diet plan. She stays part-time with another one of my cousins and he does his best to follow her diet and make sure her needs are met, but he doesn't have her at all times. There have been a lot of times where she gets dropped off at his house only for him to pretty much immediately need to take her to the ER because she's in ketoacidosis or her blood sugar is extremely off. There was one time where things got so bad she was in the PICU on a ventilator because her lungs stopped working, it was a miracle she survived and he's worried that it will be too late if nothing changes.
I don't know. I'm just worried about her and I'm venting about it. There's no way to help her without trying to go to CPS, but there's no family in the immediate area if she gets removed from the house who can take her and if they don't take her, her parents might retaliate and move somewhere else or stop letting her stay at my cousin's and then she's in even more danger. I wish I knew what to do. She deserves better than this
the thing about disability is it really does sometimes boil down to "wow i wish i could do that" and then you can't. and it sucks.
*mom voice* You can get these words back when you know what they mean
I will never forget the time I was on the bus and I heard some middle school-sounding kid say to his friend "Stop being so autistic, Sam," using autism as an insult.
And another kid, presumably Sam, said "But I am autistic."
That one... that really stuck out to me. An autistic kid having his own disability thrown at him as an insult. Every time I see someone use autistic as an insult, or "acoustic" and "artistic," I think of Sam.
I'm about to blow a lot of minds right now
Have you ever seen a person with a visible disability and wondered how they got it? Did you see someone with a burn or other scar and wonder what happened? Does what happened to that person who doesn't have part of their leg fill you with burning questions? Well, guess what, you don't even need to ask. You already know.
Does someone have a burn scar? You already know what happened, they got burned. A cut scar? They got cut by something. Missing part of a limb? Clearly they were either born without it or something happened that made the removal necessary. Are they in a wheelchair? Clearly something happened that made them using a wheelchair necessary, whether that something was a condition they were born with or if it's a condition they acquired later in life. You already know what happened. Don't ask.
The who, when, where, and why of that person's disability does not matter, it is not your business. That is their personal medical history and they should not be asked to disclose it to a random stranger who's staring at them like they're a unicorn or something. You know what happened. You do not need the specifics. So don't ask for them.
I love to use my disability “as an excuse.” Fuck yeah my disability is an excuse. It’s the most valid excuse I have. I’m not helping you lift that box/etc because my disability would make it fucking painful. Not wanting to be in pain is a good enough reason. I’m not going to put myself in pain to comfort your sensibilities.
Yes I’m using my disability as an excuse because I refuse to hurt myself for you. If you’re mad about it you can cry! ❤️
Once again, leftists are forgetting disability in their activism.
The vast majority seem unable to acknowledge how dangerous a Trump presidency will be for disabled people along with other minorities.
i hope people don’t confused kleptomania with shoplifting. people with kleptomania tend to steal things that don’t have much use to them- shop lifters steal things like bags and clothing items.
when I was a kid, I use to steal pens from my classmates and keeping them at home, not using them at all. i once stole a girl in my classes pocket notebook, which i kept in my junk drawer and didn’t even look at. i felt bad after stealing these things. and I never planned to, it just happened.
so for all those shop lifters that brag about what they stole on tumblr, shame on you. i have seen some of those shop lifters say, “oh, I have kleptomania and I can’t help it”, you don’t have kleptomania.
Reminder from someone with actual literal brain damage from a brain injury to stop fucking using "brain damage" and "brain injuries" as a means of describing someone whose opinions you don't like or deem as stupid.
It's ableist and offensive as fuck, and for some reason a lot of leftist people think it's okay to use. I've seen posts replying to right wing racists calling them "brain damaged if you believe this" and "do you have a brain injury? do you not understand X?". Just now I saw a beautiful post about fat people throughout history that was absolutely ruined by opening with "How do we break it to boomers with actual brain damage and nostalgic brainrot..." before continuing to say that fat people existed throughout history.
Brain damage does not make you racist. A brain injury doesn't make you ignorant, or fatphobic, or unaware of history and politics. Stop fucking using my disability as a catch all to describe people you think are shitty. Y'all use it like it's a replacement for how people used to use the R-slur, which shows you learned absolutely nothing about why the R-slur was wrong to use and decided to throw in other disabilities instead. Fuck off and stop doing it.
(And don't do it with other disabilities either, because I know y'all do.)
I know a lot of people with brain injuries. They're smart, and funny, and compassionate. They learn about the world and care about social issues and wish they could go to protests if their disability won't allow them to. Are there right wing people with brain injuries? Sure, absolutely. But they are not right wing because they have a brain injury, and using any disability as an insult is still fucking ableist.
Tldr - stop using brain damage and brain injury as an insult. It's ableist and incredibly offensive.
Love, your local brain injured/brain damaged pal
The r slur is a nasty, nasty word and I do not understand how so many otherwise progressive people hurl it around like confetti. A lot of yall have zero solidarity with those who are intellectually disabled. You are not ""reclaiming"" it when you use it to insult someone. Be real, you just wanna use it cuz it gives you a little surge of catharsis whenever you are Big Mad. Fuck you.
had an interaction a few days ago that i’m still thinking about. I was talking to two students about the Day of Silence protest coming up that friday, and both of them seemed interested but needed more information. Both of these students were disabled with relatively high support needs for communication, processing, and learning. At least one was intellectually disabled.
I explained the basic premise of Day of Silence, and one of the students asked me to repeat myself, explain again. I did this several times, and she was engaged with me, even if she wasn’t processing yet she clearly wanted to know more and was interested in what i was saying. Her para-educator then came over and said it wasn’t worth trying to explain anything to her because she wouldn’t understand.
The para-educator’s intentions were good, she wanted to save me time and believed i may not have known this student was disabled. But to say that, in front of the student, as though she couldn’t hear the comment, is rude at best and downright hostile at worst. Furthermore, to be in a position in which you are the one in charge of helping this person navigate the world, and to believe they only deserve information that you think they can digest, is such an awful way to view someone you are supposed to help. This student was asking me questions, she was listening, and honestly - who cares if in the end she didn’t understand? just because we don’t end up understanding something doesn’t mean we can’t engage with it.
Intellectually disabled individuals and disabled individuals in general are not infants, they’re not incapable of learning or connecting with others. Yes, they may need extra help, and yes, some topics may be too complex for them to tackle, but let the individual decide that for themselves.
TLDR: The person who was supposed to be helping an intellectually disabled student navigate the world decided for that student what they could understand. In doing so, she projected her beliefs about the students abilities and overshadowed the student’s ability to define her own boundaries. Intellectually disabled people deserve the autonomy to decide for themselves what they want to engage with at a given time, not told they are too dumb to understand.
just a reminder that insulting the way people speak because it’s “weird” (i.e. too fast, too slow, too monotone, too animated, slurred, etc) is ableist. many of us with intellectual disabilities, developmental disorders, autism, traumatic brain injuries, physical disabilities, and other conditions speak “weird” because of our conditions.
i see posts all the time like “POV you’re talking to that person who talks like they’re in an anime” or “people who speak monotone are so creepy, they’re like robots” or “people who slur their speech gross me out”. it’s ableist and dehumanizing. insulting the way “certain people” speak may seem harmless on the surface but under the surface those “certain people” are almost always disabled, and these traits are just traits of our disabilities.
“Don’t let your disorder define you”
Okay but do you support the people whose disorders do define them?
Do you support people with the chronic illnesses who have had to develop whole lives around their conditions? Do you support the intellectually disabled people whose whole way of thinking is defined by their disorder? Do you support the people with personality disorders who literally have a disorder as a personality? Do you support the autism/ADHD people whose disorder you can’t separate from who they are? Do you support the DIDOSDD people who have multiple definitions of themselves because of their disorder?
Or are you just saying that because a disorder defining someone means you can’t ignore it.
boy it would be nice to be able to google something related to personality disorders, psychosis, intellectual disabilities, autism, DID/OSDD, etcetera without finding majority articles that are like “how to deal with a person with X” “how to cope with your child with X” “how to spot someone faking X” “can people with X be cured?”
Stop saying differently abled when you mean disabled.
Stop saying gited burnt out kid when you mean disabled.
Stop saying the c-slur when you mean disabled.
Stop saying 'super power' when you mean disabled.
Stop saying senile when you mean disabled.
Stop saying special needs when you mean needs for someone who is disabled.
Start saying disabled when you mean disabled.
Disability isn't, nor will it ever be, a dirty word. The only reason you think it's dirty is because you walked on it with muddy shoes.
Friendly (or unfriendly if you're against this) reminder that this blog is supportive of ALL disorders. This blog does not think ANY disorder inherently makes someone a bad person, and is against any disorder being demonized. This blog wholeheartedly believes that a bad person having a disorder, yes, even if things that are also symptoms of their disorder are part of what caused harm, does not make the disorder a "bad" or "evil" disorder or excuse ableism and demonization directed towards the disorder.
Yes this includes personality disorders
Including npd and aspd
Yes this includes all psychotic disorders & disorders that cause psychotic symptoms
Yes this includes paraphilic disorders. All of them.
Yes this includes disorders that cause, or are even characterized by, attention seeking
Yes this includes disorders that directly have lying as a common symptom
Yes this includes dissociative disorders
Yes this includes any disorder with "gross" symptoms
Yes this includes physical disorders too
Yes this includes disorders that can cause loss of control of any kind- control of speech, control of body movement, etc.
Yes tis includes disorders that make someone "look scary"
This goes for literally any fucking disorder. There are not exceptions.
If you’re someone without a personality disorder trying to defend people with personality disorders, you get told that you’ve been manipulated and brainwashed and can’t be trusted.
If you’re someone with a personality disorder trying to defend yourself, you get told that you’re manipulative and dangerous and can’t be trusted.
There really is no way for us to win.