Boundaries - Blog Posts

mfw when people don't follow the boundaries i never set

So nobody will see this but I have to talk about it. Am I the only one that hates it when friends (in books etc.) don't accept boundaries?

Like for example when the main person doesn't feel comfortable in a outfit and her friends wont accept that, so they force her to wear it because ,,you look hot in that" or ,,they boys will looking"

Thats just not they way I wanted to be treated by my friends.

Nine Psychological Tasks for a Good Marriage

Separate emotionally from the family you grew up in; not to the point of estrangement, but enough so that your identity is separate from that of your parents and siblings.

Build togetherness based on a shared intimacy and identity, while at the same time set boundaries to protect each partner’s autonomy.

Establish a rich and pleasurable sexual relationship and protect it from the intrusions of the workplace and family obligations.

For couples with children, embrace the daunting roles of parenthood and absorb the impact of a baby’s entrance into the marriage. Learn to continue the work of protecting the privacy of you and your spouse as a couple.

Confront and master the inevitable crises of life.

Maintain the strength of the marital bond in the face of adversity. The marriage should be a safe haven in which partners are able to express their differences, anger and conflict.

Use humor and laughter to keep things in perspective and to avoid boredom and isolation.

Nurture and comfort each other, satisfying each partner’s needs for dependency and offering continuing encouragement and support.

Keep alive the early romantic, idealized images of falling in love, while facing the sober realities of the changes wrought by time.

Thanks to Judith S. Wallerstein, PhD, co-author of the book "The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts."

Source: http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/marriage.aspx

Just wanted to say not to be like 'afraid' or something to text me just because I blocked some responses

That had to do with personal reasonings and that person crossing my boundaries, which I'm not willing to just let slide

I'm a very open person and all that, but I'm not going to accept some1 not giving a shit about boundaries, especially not with my past history

So pls try, and b respectful

I don't mind flirting or some playful remarks, but ask before you do something that could make me unvomfy, especially after only a few days of talking

The same thing I already said in the comments under that post, just wanted to make it clear again that I have boundaries and I'll avoid / block people that disrespect those

Anybody wanna text me, like, just randomly? My DMs are open n all

And honestly, since the acc from the guy I was texting got deactivated am kinda desperate/needy to talk to some1 n cutie patootie shit chat with them n all that

Wanna have some1 to get a lil attached to rn

In general I jus' wanna have some1 rn

Fucking hilarious/pathetic how badly I been wanting a bf cutrently tbh, but I still wanna have 1 anyways... god I just want a guy to cuddle me and hold me and be cute with.. but also to makeout with and sit on his lap and shit

Ughhh

Please..?

A sensitive Artist who honors healthy detachment.

-Illustratum Paradoxon

An enchanting angel who likes to escape to the sea ♥

The anxiety attack after you set a boundary is crazy. My hands are shaky. Palms are sweaty. I’m freaking livid! I just don’t understand it?! I’m cursed I swear. My grandmother would yell at me CONSTANTLY “Your mouth is gonna get you in trouble” little did she know how powerful such words were. People love me cuz I’m real and hate me cuz I’m too blunt! Or because I’m too moody or too “to myself” um why is it so wrong to keep to yourself? Why is it wrong to like to keep your circle small? Maybe it’s a coping mechanism to protect what’s mine or maybe it’s the only way I know how to protect my energy. Whatever it is. I DESPISE when people try to impose on me. Don’t push me to be social please. Don’t come over uninvited. These are triggers. I’m so sorry. I don’t like uncertainty or surprises unfortunately. I’ve been disappointed too many times. I have opened that door too many times. So now I leave it shut and protect me and my own. Ok so the boundary is set. Why am I freaking out? It’s the response! It’s me obsessing over if that person will talk to me again because I set a boundary! It’s me being mad I had to set one in the first place. But then again, High expectations are future disappointments. I’m tired of people having adult tantrums when another adult is clear on their wants/unwants. How dare you be mad at me for knowing what I want!?

-Illustratum Paradoxon

The Mosquito's Sting: A Tale of Boundaries Challenged

Once upon a time, in an enchanted kingdom, there was a mosquito that carried West Nile fever. This mosquito bit a wealthy man and a poor one, a Jew and an Arab, a white person and a black person, women and men, heterosexual cisgender and LGBTQ+ individuals. The story tells how people created protective barriers and divisions between themselves, but nature, in the form of the mosquito, pierced through these barriers and showed how easily something from each of them could seep into the other, revealing how arbitrary and temporary all these defenses and boundaries truly were.

The king of the kingdom ordered the mosquito to be locked in a golden cage and asked the wisest person in the kingdom, a little girl who understood the language of all animals, to talk to the mosquito. The girl listened to the mosquito's story and told the king the moral lesson that the mosquito had taught. Instead of punishing the mosquito, they made it an important minister in the kingdom. The royal physician healed the mosquito, and the kingdom's scientists transformed it into a beautiful prince.

The prince married the girl when she became old enough. She was the only one who saw the wisdom in the simple mosquito that had only come to sting. To everyone's surprise, as they did not know enough about science, it turned out that the mosquito was actually female. So, the wise girl ended up marrying a mosquito princess who loved to wear princes' clothes. The two of them lived happily ever after, a bit distanced from all other humans who were unwilling to give up the barriers and divisions that separated them.

When the people discovered that the mosquito was female and had married a woman, they wanted to punish her. However, the girl, who was once a wise child, ran away with the mosquito princess to the mountains. There, they lived happily, far from people's eyes and the fears that drove society. They listened to animals, studied life principles with them, trying to deeply understand their languages. Over the years, they published scientific papers that were meant to bring human society closer to their compassionate worldview, which looked broadly at life as one intertwined woven fabric.

Boundaries :)

Since I am making a "bigger" thing/project now, I figured I'd set some boundaries :)

First thing is first, I will make a (second) discord for this community separate from my original YT discord server and the only thing I really ask is be respectful please!!! If you don't like something, keep it to yourself please, no one likes negativity. I will link this server when it is up!!! :D

**FANWORK**:

I am more than happy with any fanwork!!! I would love to see your creations (fanart, animation, music, etc.), theories, and headcanons! But please do not make any NSFW content of my projects/characters. It tends to make people including myself uncomfortable and and some of my cast as of my writing this are minors, and so are a few of my characters (which will be specified on project release).

**COSPLAY**:

As someone who myself has cosplayed before, YES!!! >:D (but please keep in mind my other boundaries as well!!!) (I have also just now realized this kind of counts as fanwork)

**ORIGINAL CHARACTERS**:

Aaa this would be so cool! I am more than okay with OCs and self inserts, I think those would be very cool! :D

**SHIPPING**:

I don't mind this, I think it would be fun to see who you ship! :) NO PROSHIPPING >:C

**MERCHANDISE**:

Please don't! If it is of your OC or self insert, that is okay, but please do not make merchandise of my characters! Please also don't buy any merch you see of it unless it is from me (or unless I have okayed it, ask me, I don't bite!)! I do intend making merch of it when I can! You also may buy commissions of fanart for it from people as long as they are not directly advertising it as that (an artist's gotta survive somehow, yk?) :)

**USING MY WORK**:

I think this is okay, as long as there is also something else and/or I am credited! Basic copyright stuff, I think! 🙂

That is all, I think! I hope I worded this okay! I may update this in the future, feel free to ask me any questions you may have about it! :)