Honesty - Blog Posts
4 Traits
Warnings: graphic gore, bad cuts, violence (?), fighting, the traits listed below, cleaning wounds without proper knowledge, unsafe cleaning, let me know if I missed anything!
Read on Ao3 :D
4 times Monoma showed his traits..
Perfectionism
Honesty
Determination
Pride
Perfectionism
Today was the day of the sports festival, it had to be good, great. This was the day that he could show how great his class was, not just to the A class but to everybody! He woke up with an excitement, going through his day with a smile, he hadn't even seen Class A yet, he had a feeling that his class were spending their time doing something actually important, like decorating.
Currently they were setting the flags to go on the side of the building, the multiple colors going well with the cool gray; he picked them out obviously, and was currently telling Pony where to put them, making sure it was perfect. He stared at it for a few seconds before deciding that it was good, before turning around to look at the other side, where Ibara and Jurota were sitting the other string up.
“Wait” he hums, “a little up on the right side, Ibara.” She moves the string up a bit more with her vines before looking back to the self proclaimed class president, looking for clarification. Momoma then nods, “Yeah, that's fine.” The others walk back from the wall and turn off their quirks, intending to help with something else around, since they have quirks that help wonderfully from nature, or as Ibara puts it. “Thank you.” Monoma adds as he turns to walk away, the two smiling and saying ‘You're welcome’ as he walks away.
He walks to the opening of the building and finds Juzo and Tetsutetsu on ladders putting up the lanterns, that Monoma also picked out of course, and they were on the sides of the opening already having put up the one that goes in the middle. He keeps walking and when he gets out in the walk way before the opening, he turns around and puts his hands to his face, tilting his head and says, “Juzo, more to the left,” then after Juzo moves it, “Okay, more down” then that happens two more times before Netio says its fine.
Juzo gets off the ladder with a ‘Geez’ and Tetsutetsu hears that and says, “You know he doesn't mean anything, He thinks we're great!” with one of his toothy smiles. Yes, the boy knows this, but yes he still thinks he’s a little pushy at things. The metal boy puts his arm around his shoulders, which makes him lean a bit forward, and then directs him to someplace else, leaving the ladders there.
This keeps happening until the whole set-up is done, and yes his class does get a bit annoyed with it, but it's okay since they love him. Does he still stay up later than usual that night from not knowing it's absolutely perfect for the rest of the days? Yes, and he was still thinking about it the whole day, and kinda stressing about it. But, it's okay because he can fix it tomorrow. Or that's what he tries to tell himself.
Honesty
He was with Class-A, which by itself was just annoying. He was constantly telling them that they were wrong or that his class was better, in his opinion that was all true. They were testing out their new costumes together, since the teachers thought it would be easier. Did Momoma agree with them? Eh, kinda, he can wrap his head around it. Still didn't make it better that he had to be with Class-A. He could get over it with insults and manic laughter though, even better if it made the other class more attracted to his presence. He likes attention.
They were doing costume tests by fighting and using their quirks on them, and asking each other whether or not their costumes were fine. It was mostly the more quiet people asking if it looked good on them, Monoma not going to say anything about that, but he will be honest when someone asks. He's not going to lie, they asked, they wanted his opinion. It was his opinion, he knows others don't have to care about his opinion, trust me he knows, so he doesn't have a problem with stating it.
So when he was in a group of people who were trying to test out how their new costumes do against certain quirks, and someone brought Jiro into it, he didn't mind telling them how he thought when she asked. She had asked the group of Class-B students and some Class-A students how they thought her costume looked and everyone mostly responded with positive things, a few with some constructive criticism. He had said, “You look like a ripoff Y2K Roblox character.” with the whole looking the outfit up and down.
Everyone who had heard him turned to look at him, when he looked up from the outfit, mainly from the boots if you had asked, he just saw everyone's faces looking with pure astonishment of what he just said. He stood up straighter and turned a bit, looking at them. He didn’t think he said anything wrong, It's not like what he said mattered. He looks back to Jiro and sees a kind of hurt in his eyes, one that shouldn't be there, and Jiro knows because why should she care? But it still gets to them.
“Monoma?” less of a question, more of a demand of an explanation of why he said that, it came from Setsuna, he looked to face her, un-crossing his arms to extend a hand in the air questionably.
“What?” He really didn't see what he said that made her feel so emotional. “She asked, I told her.” he paused for a second; looking back to Jiro then to Setsuna “I told her my opinion” hes shrugged and then re-crossed his arms and then walked away, feeling the presence that he wasn't wanted there anymore. That's okay, he thought this would be like middle school anyway, maybe it just took longer.
Everyone started comforting Jiro, they weren't crying or anything, but still were telling her that he just had different thoughts. He walked away and went to another building, deciding to sit by himself since he really didn't want to have to confront another person about that. He didn't mean too. He was just telling the truth.
Determination
Okay, this time. He took a spin to kick at the punching bag again, this time almost falling. It seemed like he was getting worse at this. No, he was definitely getting worse. He was alone in the gym, since it was already dinner time and even if the UA gym is still open people like to eat. He did eat about an hour ago, so he could sneak off here to do some training on his kicks. He wasn't good at kicking and he knew that, though he didn't really know how to get better by himself he was going to try.
Okay, he can do it. He touched Tetsutetsu on his side before he put his arms up to block him with his own quirk, he could do this. The other that had naturally had the quirk, kicked at his legs. Momoma fumbled but didn't fall, gaining back what advantage he could when Tetsu pushed him back to try and make him fall. They were doing balance training or something like that, where they could see how long they could hold off while defended against each other. They were split into groups and he got put with Tetsutetsu as a sort of place for Kirishima. Tetsu kicked at his leg again, this time catching the back of his knee and pulling him down.. Next time.
Okay, this is easy. He was jumping around pipes and in between buildings, he knew how to do this. Or he thought he knew how to do this. The pipes were slippy and Monoma was not prepared for that. He kept falling, and falling, and falling. He was going to have so many bruises.. It's alright, he's a hero, heroes don't care about bruises. But it does hurt. He's pretty sure he sprained his ankle.. As he tries to jump another big gap, he feels his ankle crack. He falls forward, heading straight for the ground. As a split second decision he tucks and rolls, he does land more softly than he would if he would've just fell, and he's proud of himself for the quick thinking. It still hurts.
Okay, it's nothing. He’s fighting Pony, and he has to constantly dodge all of her horns, and if you didn’t know, it takes a lot of energy to jump around and dodge while trying to get close. Especially when it's the end of the day and he's tired. He only got a few hours of sleep last night since he was up doing english work, and he's so exhausted. You can only put him through so much before he's done, and even if he thinks he isn't done his body is. As the horns are still coming at him, he feels one slice his leg and when he moves toward the right he feels one go by there too. He is panting, and his vision is getting blurry, he's dizzy and his class can tell. He’s falling, oh he's falling.. He hits the ground falling backwards and a little to the right. He might've hit his head on the ground, all he for sure knows is that his vision is black and that Vlad King is calling the fight.
Pride
He didn't need help. He never needed help. He was a grown person that could help himself. Even if he had no real knowledge on it… He was fixing where he got cut up earlier. It was pretty bad, it was 5 inches long; but it didn't really have any depth to it. It wouldn't be too bad to fix if he had any idea of what he was doing, but no. he doesn't. It was the start of the year and they weren't taught this yet, and he couldn't be bothered looking it up because it hurt and he didn't even know if that stuff would be true or not. He has to settle with what basic knowledge he knows about cleaning, wrapping, and all that stuff with wounds because he's not going to ask for help, because he hates even the idea of that.
In reality, yes he knows he sucks at this, and yes, he knows he should get help, and yes he still won't. He doesn't even know if he could walk right now, since it's his shin that got cut. It burns though, and as soon as he pours the rubbing alcohol on it he grips at the counter in left hand as tight as he possibly could, it does hurt his hand a bit but not more than the alcohol on his cut. He has a rag in his mouth too so he could be quiet, and good thing because he almost screams, it muffles the sound a bit making it a lot less louder than it would've been. He would have woken up someone if it wasn't there.
After the burning calms down, he looks down to see it cleaning the wound, so that's good. Even though there's still blood pouring down his leg; he’s got this. He wont die from something like this. Well, actually you could die from something like this. He's not going to think about that though, because he won’t. He knows what he's doing. Once all the bubbling stopped, he began wiping it with a rag, making sure that most of the blood is off, even though there is still some trailing down his leg, he probably should’ve stopped the bleeding first.. Too late for that.
He grabs the bandages that he has to reach for, making the wound move and causing more pain and more blood. When did stuff like this become so annoying?? He winces as he gets them in his hand and pulls back, he can tell that he's getting fuzzier. That's really not good. Just has to make it until he wraps the bandages around it, that's what he tells himself. He knows it'll be bad if he passes out. He knew that he was already low on energy to deal with this because he got it near the end of training, he hasn't showered or anything obviously, and he really does not want anyone to see him like this.
He manages to wrap them around his leg and closes them off before he can tell his vision is going black, he doesn't try to stand, does not try to yell, does not try to call for help. He lets himself fade off into the black, and yes that was a bad idea. But better than anyone else seeing him like this.
Credits to @/strangergraphics for the dividers
hope it was good :P!
Some of my poems got accepted for the first issue of a lit magazine. I haven’t told anyone but my sister. I’m scared they’ll change their minds by the time the issue comes out, and I’ll have looked silly for thinking my work was worthy of publishing.
Heres a silly little poem!
You love them, You want them, but you could never reach them.
Will you still love them after their face is no longer obscured?
Will you still want them after the filter that once sheltered the laughable features is absent?
Honesty is always present, favorable or not.
It is always there, waiting for the moment to obstruct them.
They sure don’t.
(—I’ll do a happy version of this later, since it’s two sides of one coin. ;) )
via weheartit
If only he was able to tell everything.....
I've expanded the instructions I gave for apologizing into a detailed listicle. I hope it'll be helpful. Some of the points, however, are very specific to the English language.
1. Don't explain what happened, it will sound like you're justifying your actions. And because of the way our brains work, you're likely to actually start justifying your actions. At that point, you're no longer apologizing. Remind yourself that the apology needs to have priority right now, and that there will be time later to identify causes and solutions.
2. Be specific, or at least use more words than "I'm sorry." "Sorry" is used so often as a polite noise, nearly meaningless, that it's difficult to be sincere, or even sound sincere when using it for a formal apology. Again, this ties into what @theconcealedweapon wrote: we're trained to say "sorry" when we don't mean it, so that becomes the core of the word's meaning, without our even realizing it. And if you're Australian, it gets even worse!
Personally, I use "I apologize" or "My apologies," or in dire circumstances, "Please accept my apology." This allows me to break my conditioning and focus on my genuine contrition, as well as making it clear to others that I'm taking the apology seriously.
3. Apologize for what you did, and absolutely NOT how it made someone feel. The latter is often used for manipulation.
Other things not to apologize for:
that the consequences of your actions happened
what you don't like about the person or group you're apologizing to
being right
being better than the people you're apologizing to
allegedly not having any idea what you're supposed to be apologizing for
...you'd think all this would go without saying, but it can be subtler than you might expect, and sometimes we do it without thinking, because we picked it up as children, from the nastier adults around us.
Instead, take a moment to focus on what you did, and how to describe it clearly in a way that accepts your fault and/or responsibility for the situation. Again, don't bring anything else into the apology, lest you make it seem less of an apology. People are so used to hearing the above crap from unrepentant people, that they will not give you the benefit of the doubt.
4. Watch your tone of voice. This is actually two separate points.
First, yet another thing we unconsciously pick up as children is the obviously sarcastic mock apology. It's not always a bad thing, it can be a joke or a verbal gesture, but you have to make sure you don't let that habit find its way into a genuine apology, and ruin it. This is where the bit about "Say it like you mean it" comes from. The easiest way to say it like you mean it is to mean it. See next paragraph.
Second, if you can't be respectful and express regret, you shouldn't be apologizing just yet. You're not ready. Leave the art of convincingly faking an apology to the con artists and cult leaders. You will probably need to just keep your mouth shut for a while. Acknowledge (to yourself) the possibility that you might change your mind later. In some rare cases, it may be possible to tell people, "I'm not ready to apologize just yet," but don't count on it.
5. (optional) If necessary and you can do it honestly, either characterize what you did, or agree with others' characterization of it, or promise to/ask how to not do it again, or multiple of the above. Say that it was wrong or inappropriate or a failure or whatever. Name people who called you out, say they were right, and repeat what they said about what you're apologizing for. If you promise not to do it again, don't pivot to talking about how great you will be in the future, keep it focused on the apology.
This might be a bit too much for less dire apologies, and you may not be able to manage this if you apologize the minute you can bring yourself to be sincere, but otherwise, you can build yourself some credibility by immediately seeking to improve yourself and make sure that YOU never do whatever-it-was again. It's more for privately apologizing to your direct supervisor, or to a friend.
On the other hand, beware of doing this if you're the authority figure, or are apologizing to a large group, because politicians routinely pivot away from making actual apologies by making big promises for the future. People are wise to this, though, and your whole apology is liable to be dismissed as bullshit if you try to use it for self-promotion.
So many people seem completely unaware of what a genuine apology is.
And that's because children are forced to say sorry on command.
Before they ever had a chance to process what they did, why they did it, what effect it had on others, or what they should have done instead, they're expected to say that they're sorry. And they're expected to "say it like you mean it" with no indication of what that even means and with no time to figure out how to phrase it correctly.
Sometimes, even when the child's actions are justified by any logical reasoning, they're expected to apologize because an authority figure demands it.
The goal of saying sorry ends up being solely to avoid punishment. And they phrase the apology in whatever way the authority figure will accept.
The result is an entire society filled with people who give completely useless apologies that appear like they're only trying to avoid punishment.
“Never shame a woman for being her naturally sexual self! Our sexuality is something we all share. The courageous and honest people embrace it.” Ander Adams - Lead “Seductive Integrity” Mentor of the Vimbasi Warriors
So tired of scams and bots. It truly would be nice to have a real conversation with a real person.
Stacy has always been and will always be the center of my world. The rest of you are icing on the cake
Once your relationship reaches this level, you can do almost anything.
If you don’t have this level of open honesty then expect jealousy and doubt to prevent growth.
Start with your foundation, and don’t try to build on it until it’s SOLID!
Not everyone needs access to the layers of your mind.
Honesty in your vulnerability takes strength, courage & an understanding that everything you feel is ok at any point in time. Whether we know it or not we can sense when someone isn't being honest & it's then when a sense of energetic separation between us begins to occur.
@soulsmileyoga
You can’t ever be really free if you admire somebody too much.
Tove Jansson
@staff subtle, creative & hilarious! It's a little disturbing as well. Or maybe this pattern is a false correlation?
Are you choders sharing the exact same ad over & over again as a way of telling me that I need some sort of training dummy Droid to "practice or learn" how to "socialize" like a "human being"?.. why, ALL so that I can "learn" how to be a fake enabling conformist cowardly normie,.. be your monoculture "human product"? Or is your algorithm just "broken"?
Never mind all that for a second. Let's examine this product you're spamming me with:
There's nothing more dehumanizing than people inventing a Droid to teach other people how to socialize just because they don't want to actually socialize with that person and you wonder why people have antisocial personalities. Excessive individualism, text-based communication, culture, Mass delusion existential crisis avoidance, high school debate team bullshit, the societal cult of opinionism have destroyed our tribal bonds as well as our ability to communicate with each other. All of you morons think text is sufficient and what you don't realize is that you're going to have to have many conversations with a complex biological structure in order to understand them or get them to understand you. There's no easy way to do this other than the organic processes that have emerged of which all of you are fighting in favor of your disturbingly authoritarian control freak mentality that you call "industry standards or normal".
The so-called modern world is really a Romanesque dumpster fire emulation braided with industrialization and technology. It's still the dark ages that we're living in it's just that we have more power to abuse each other with. Power without enlightenment is a rampant condition that has turned into murderous redundancy.
This ad sickens me but at least I can make a lot of jokes out of it. At least I can use it as a teaching moment. It's just unfortunate that even if I am valued for my wisdom in this moment, none of you are willing to respect me accordingly and pay me what I'm worth.. so you're all just going to keep burning the world to the ground running blindfolded with scissors?
Modern industrialized education systems produce a tool that should have been a diverse well-rounded visionary neurological biological sensory emergent art form.
High speed education leading to limited specialization makes you all into myopic racehorses that require both a racetrack as well as a rider and that's exactly what wealthy business people want, turning every human into a slave of one form or another and that includes every specialist.
@staff seriously. Just put aside industry standards for this one time. You just going to have to get to know me the old fashioned way in order to truly understand my value and to understand our potential together. You're going to have to have a conversation with me and it's not going to be a 30 to 45 minute industry standard block of time. Not everybody fits in these tiny boxes. The people who require more effort are the most valuable but everyone is avoiding the complexity of reality in favor of the path of least resistance so you're limiting your potential while squandering the most valuable people on the planet... I mean, assuming that you value intelligence, creativity and all the money that it can give you? Assuming that's how you define "value"?
I'm not going to go through a human resource department & beg for a job, just FYI. 😉 I'm different & I'm always going to do everything different.
What I am doing right now is an abstract form that you're filling out. How you react or not reacting at all will be how you pass or fail my job application for all of you. Of course, this is only the entry exam. The thorough evaluation is yet to come.
Have you ever considered that you've slit your own throats hundreds or thousands of times in your life by avoiding talking with people?
I don't have the magic words. There don't seem to be any magic words. Certainly please and thank you doesn't work.
All I can do is assure you all that there's so much you do not know and presumptuousness will never serve you to do anything other than perpetuate a mental prison and a hamster wheel existence. 30 or 40 years will go by and at some point, you're going to look back on your lives realizing you squandered your gifts and were robbed of amazing opportunity.
If the world doesn't remember how to spot wisdom and respect the most intelligent and wisest people on the planet, I fear what the consequences will be. It seems reckless and not worth the risk to continue to repeat history's mistakes. Not listening to people who are definitely more experienced and wiser is exactly what your predecessors have always done and look where it's got us. I assure you the fact that the world has forgotten how to respect the tribal wise person is a heavy contributing factor of why the world is in the state that it is today.
Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, is how Einstein defined insanity.
I define insanity as logical fallacy braided with cognitive bias & ignorance because the default state from that combination results in a total failure to understand reality & therefore that form will suffer a delusion & any action they take will be fanaticism as well as cascading waste.
While all of you infants wag your fingers at me over your disapproval regarding your status quo driven opinions about how someone should or shouldn't communicate or demand, so irrationally, that everyone be emotionally dishonest or they're not allowed to speak, work or leave their bedroom prison is absurd because every single industry is producing cascading waste in multitudes & that is the Romanesque dumpster fire accelerant, the majority's opinions are the biggest ecological disaster the world refuses to even notice never mind face it & change... Just like any other religion = living by appeal to popularity logical fallacy = the status quo.
If the tech industry and the majority of the population are unwilling to consider the possibility that they have no idea what they're doing and that they are indeed a liability then we don't have anything to talk about, do we?
If you think you've got it all figured out & the wisdom that takes a lifetime to acquire & the rarity it is that a life form is virtuous regarding the presence of wisdom, clarity of vision & a wide array of other skills that seemingly no one in these industries possesses then we're doomed because of your arrogance & I'll have to accept that 99% of the population are delusional fanatical liabilities.
What false analogy do all of you use as your excuses to assert your superiority over everyone who isn't exactly like you? This is the industry standard I observe everywhere I look in business and tech.
You don't think that just because you have a degree that it means you're smarter than me, right?
You do understand that reality is not that simple, right? You do understand that colleges are not what produce intelligence, right?
Have you ever studied the study of intelligence? I didn't think so.
We may all be equal but we are not equal in the same ways. We all feel each other's weaknesses but the problem with that evolutionarily sound emergent phenomena that has served us so well for the past 3,000 years; the majority have forgotten why we value the wise person in the village. The industry standards solidified long ago and only the easily quantifiable flavors of intelligence are valued while the abstract or nearly ineffable forms of intelligence have been trivialized.
It's time you face your weaknesses because if you don't, you're never going to respect my strengths. If you don't learn why I am valuable you're never respect me and so I get no return on my investment of respecting any of you.
Tit for tat is a universal law observed throughout the so-called animal Kingdom & it applies even in cross species arrangements so it doesn't matter that I'm an alien. Lol.
So again, @staff , complex biological organism to complex biological organism, ("Human to Human") come to me in a way that's natural. Be honest, transparent & meet me in a level arrangement for an organic exchange of information AKA a conversation, you know like we've done for thousands of years before text-based communication ever existed.
I mean seriously, are you not bored with all of what the world has been doing? Are you not disturbed by any of it? Do you not sense that something is broken or missing?
I'm telling you that I know exactly what the problems are as well as how to fix it and I mean curative solutions not Band-Aids. 100%, no doubt about it. Then on the side, if what you want is money, you don't think that someone who has answers to some of the most complicated items people puzzle over doesn't also have creative application of strategy to make you rich? Please, you think winning a game of Monopoly is difficult? You think capitalism is complicated? Not anywhere near as complicated it's understanding the intertwining of all systems of life,.. which I most certainly do understand at least enough to deal with human issues in a more productive or fully compensating way than anything I see anywhere else in the world. (Bold claims I know & I'm happy to prove it but nobody ever gives me a chance to prove it because I've never had full support in my entire life but rather I just keep getting sabotaged by insecure petty cowards.)
@staff so again, I remind you of what's important... "People" over money! Life over industry. & if you think that economic success is more important, well, obviously creative geniuses bring quite a lot to the table in serving the goal of winning a game of Monopoly.
Don't any of you want to do anything else, tho? Isn't there more to life? Don't any of you or your board members have any aspirations? What is the legacy you would like to leave? What is it that you would like history to report on everything you've done?
Realistically & admittedly, money is a resource & unfortunately, it's tied to our biological survival.
Money should be & wasn't intended to be an efficient replacement for the barter system but it has become an abused tool... Don't misunderstand me though, I'm not a purist nor do I respect Ivory Towers so I will not live in one; meaning, that I don't shame the aspiration or the lust for money... you can all be as greedy as you want & I will serve that greed as long as I I'm also part of that overall economic reward in a way that fully aligns us & let's face it; that's the only way you're going to trust me & that's the only way that I can justify giving any of you full access to my brain & all of the benefits that come with that.
I can make everyone's greed part of an equation that supports the manifestation of curative solutions. Yes, that's right, I'm offering the opportunity to have a conversation at Great length to consider a potential partnership.
Also, I have a very fair way for your company or any other to "try it before you buy it", so to speak.
You all be greedy and serve wasteful consumerism and I will counter balance the ecological disaster because my share of the revenue will be put towards investing in the future, (that's the only true wealth). Ultimately, I aim to found a flagship of manifestation = serial philanthropy.
Perhaps your legacy will be one that's monumental because you were able to think outside the box, spot value no one else could, come down out of your Ivory Towers, then fund a paradigm shift while setting new industry standards in multiple sectors? Tumblr seems different than some other platforms but how different are those that run this company from the likes of the larger tech companies?
I am indeed a nonconformist and likely I'm smarter than most of the people that work at your company & almost assuredly smarter than all of upper business management and everyone that sits on the board but don't hate me or discriminate just because of that mere possibility. Nor should any of you be concerned that you cannot command me. Neither is a problem all the time even though a lot of the time it probably would be worth worrying about. I'm not like most people. Industry standards don't apply to me & that I'm certain of. I'm aware that CEOs don't like to hire people that are smarter than them & conformists don't trust people who don't follow orders or can't be "handled"... Logic is what rules me which means I can be reasoned with. I'm smarter than every single person I've ever met and most every person I've ever seen so none of you get to tell me what to do because none of you know better than me but there are areas where you're specialization & therefore recommendations matter far more to me than my ability to innately infer. I know my weaknesses and I can admit when I don't know something. I don't care about being right, all I care about is the correct answer. Positive & negative exist in all things & directing the flow of resources without disrupting a system makes more sense than being disruptive. War is inefficient.
@staff you see, I have to say all of this because I know what your concerns are & if I don't address these possible elephants in the room it limits the probability that you will do as I suggest. Referencing organic communications again, I cannot emphasize this enough. You will never understand me, you will never understand my value & you all to ruin my potential & limiting your own success right along with everyone else if you're unwilling to make the effort that's required.
I once saw social media as a way to harvest pocket change from billions of people as a way to fund my curative solutions for societal ills but the failures that I've been talking about here have led every tech company to abuse and sabotage the likes of me. I've been studying social media, streaming and gaming platforms full time for the past 10 years to examine all of their failures & push them to the very extreme limits. Every single one of them has failed my tests so now there's no point in testing you/tumblr in those ways. Needless to say, I know what the problems are, I know the weaknesses & I know the consequences of these failures.
I really don't care to use social media any longer but because every single one of you seems to love to sabotage me, oppress me, judge me inappropriately, presumptuously assume that you can tell me what to do or how to talk or how to defend myself & how to course correct the insanely ignorant majority while ruining my ability to influence and educate in a civil manner while discouraging me from respecting any of you because you sabotage me so badly that I have no way of being economically viable in a world that hates everyone who's smarter than them where social media has become one of the only options so you're robbed me from having a megaphone to the world, so I don't have any patience and I don't see any reason in respecting your rules or societies status quo driven opinions about what is or isn't acceptable. There's no consequence because you've all ruined me; that's extremely dangerous and I wonder how many other strong-willed geniuses have turned into your enemies right along with me being driven to this point where brutal honesty is the last resort and you're one of my last experiments, Tumblr.
The entire tech industry, toxic conservatives, authoritarians, antisocialmedia platforms all combined have left me with next to nothing to live for. You've all made me a dead man walking for the most part & the reason why this is a problem is because now your rules & laws have no value whatsoever because of already been punished as if I was a criminal or a bad person or a modern day heretic being forced to the fringes, forced to live in solitude for over 20 years in order to avoid your club wielding Neanderthal abuse.
Now if you want the likes of me to not be a problem, you're going to have to give me a reason to live, a reason to respect your wishes. Just telling me to do what you say because you say so we're trying to subtlety manipulate me will not work. Only logic & reason will work. Only reciprocal empathy & mutual respect will work. No tech company or point of authority has ever given me either of those key ingredients of a healthy organic arrangement which produces a symbiotic outcome.
"Consequences": (common scenario)
Let's say that you tell me tough titties & fuck you crazy person. You react with a, "who the fuck do you think you are!?" type attitude instead of doing as I suggest and getting to know me through a process of lengthy organic conversation that perhaps lead to negotiations?
Let's say that all of your industry continues to deny the likes of me from having a voice like every single platform so reliably has always done... Let's say that you all end up doing kyc verification or taking advantage of that atrocious violation of privacy Arkose challenge BS like Twitter has stupidly decided to do...
You'll leave the likes of me with no other option but to go to the dark web and once I'm on the dark web, I'm not going to be censored. I'm not going to be shadowbanned. You'll be leaving me with no other collaborators other than other people like me if I get lucky enough to find them or some of the most intelligent criminal elements as well as darkest people on the planet. What do you think the possible outcomes of that unwanted equation could be?
I've always tried to make you social media platforms family; that's what I do for everyone that I bring into my circle for whatever reasons. All of the choders reliably piss on that offer. Society has done the same. I've been vilified, criminalized and shunned for over 20 years because of myopic presumptuous overconfident idiots who thought their opinions mattered or scared authoritarian cowards trying to control everything pissed off at me because I peacefully refused to live my life precisely how they demanded or I couldn't be what they wanted me to be.
Trust me when I tell you that all of your industry standard approaches, your arrogance, your abuse of privileged power is farming monsters. All of you are close to pushing me to the point where I become some sort of monster that won't be a criminal but you just might find is an even bigger problem.
Already I understand how to wield my influence in a way that is untraceable and unstoppable. I'm not going to tell you how but don't think for a second that it's not possible and even if you think I'm having delusions of grandeur, it would be foolish of any of you to assume that somebody else doesn't know how to influence ways you don't understand. Your industry standards affect more than just me. You keep rolling the dice, those anomalies like me are going to be targeted by your abusive industry standards. Most of them will react far worse than my emotional and intellectual honesty. Most will not offer a collaboration and curative solutions. If you send every single person that is even remotely similar to me to the dark web, you're going to suffer in the years to come so substantially that you shouldn't be able to sleep at night, you should be concerned and you should be taking me up on my offer because I know how to mitigate or remedy this issue AKA de-escalate the situation.
Every single antisocial media platform spots me as a charismatic leader who's also a non-conformist and they think I'm a bad influence. They never really get to know me and they never protect me from the majorities abuse, they never fully support me and they never have tried to make me family. Instead they oppress me thinking that that way I won't build an army of influence that becomes a problem for them... Now just imagine what will happen if you leave me with no other option but the dark web and I build my army of influence there. Already people share my content on the dark web or so I'm told whereas they will not share my content on Facebook. I'm talking about my intellectual content that you don't know anything about, not degenerate meme humor which is actually safer to share in church than my intellectual content.
So, what's the product of destroying someone's life who's a prolific creative genius &a natural born King of Kings who's left with no other option but to go to the dark web to find their team or family or tribe, while also leaving them with absolutely no reason to respect a single law or rule bcz all the authoritarian industry standards destroyed their life to the point where they've got nothing left to lose or live for?
I mean, after over 20 years of living in a bedroom prison of under supported relative poverty & my only access to the outside world being the internet & or social media, trust me when I tell you that all you've got left to punish me with is murder & if you want to give me a death sentence I'll just thank you for it. So really, you're only logical strategic option is to reason with me & make me family.
The alternative, as a best case scenario is that I go to the dark web, I make friends with a bunch of criminals, hackers and rebel geniuses, they end up joining me, we found a tech company and we disrupt the industry harming your bottom line. The worst case scenario or everything in between is something I don't really want to list or consider and neither to you. I mean, I may become a king of an underworld where the scariest people on the planet Revere me and then if anybody fucks with me at all, regardless of whether I condoned it or not, very dangerous people might come after the unscrupulous business people and their families just because they fucked with me or pissed on me. That's not a threat, that's a concern and I wouldn't want that but it wouldn't matter what I wanted because the sort of people were talking about are not the sort of people that take orders. Now how many times has the tech industry ostracized someone like me who just didn't tell them everything I'm telling you right now?
Can you think me being rude, from some arbitrary perspective based on fucking fake ass trivial Petty fabricated childish rules invented before we invented toilet paper is the problem here? You really think that me calling someone a fucking asshole is such a big deal? I think you're focusing on the wrong issues for the wrong reasons and it's become a distraction from what's actually important or the unobvious more extreme dangers all around you. This makes you a liability for yourself, your family's, your business and the world. These failures are the majorities industry standard modality. You all need me a lot more than I need you but neither of us is going to survive without each other. Discriminate and abuse the smartest people on the planet just because you can't control them or they make you feel insecure or you don't want them to outshine you and you will leave those people with no other option but war or dangerous crime so they can survive healthy. I'll choose information warfare and business that doesn't have any considerations AKA disruptive entrepreneurial endeavors. Other people become some more direct and overly simplistic dangerous expression of a feral animal. I'm the sort that smart enough to know how to really fuck your shit up and it won't be personal but rather every single industry will suffer, every single politician will suffer, every single idiot with a broken industry standard built from opinions will suffer. The way they'll suffer is mostly a torment from a product of a perception of reality that is broken more over anything that I do. They will torment themselves with a sense of shame, guilt regarding their sense of failure or their sense of loss regarding a bunch of petty bullshit or because they didn't win their childish game or their regret & jealousy when they realize who they shit on & threw away when they find out who I am.
When I list the "best case scenario", it's subjective of course. I mean, I'm not going to become Hitler or a serial killer or an organized crime boss. I'm not a fanatical cult leader. At the same time, even though I would consider those heinous and obvious expressions of tormented monsters that emerge and then abuse the world wreaking havoc... For some of you, disrupting industry after industry, costing people their investments, devaluing their stock, showing the world how criminally negligent the entire tech industry is, showing all of you up... Maybe some of you would rather that I just became some sort of monster that could be written off as a broken thing and then justifiably murder that broken thing utilizing the so-called justice system?
All disturbing considerations. None of this do I find valuable but rather a total waste of my ability to extrapolate potential possibilities. All of you are collectively leaving me with no option but to squander my abilities with such wasted thoughts and likely wasted words when I should have just gone to the dark web 8 years ago as soon as I saw these behaviors, knowing that they were going to be the industry standard. I should have never considered it reasonable to experiment with giving all of you the opportunity to take my hand & do things differently but here we are still wasting time because of my irrational idealism and misplaced Faith and Hope that you all are not as broken and monstrous unnatural corrupted industry standard production fucking droids that unfortunately every day shows me you choders & "business people" actually are.
Maybe it's actually you that need that Droid so you can practice talking to people, so you can remember what it is to be an organic being?
The irony here, it's astounding.
The majority live in an ivory Tower where they poop out the window so they don't have to smell their own shit. All of that shit lands on me and then I'm look down upon and blamed for stinking. As soon as you arbitrarily label what is good or acceptable, you by default create the villain of whom you define as bad or unacceptable. That's you and the majority's failure & it is not complicated enough to be realistically applied in any way.
None of you business people are ever forced to pay the true cost of doing business and that's what makes you such a liability and so unethical. You are indeed criminally negligent mostly just because you don't want to do the hard things which in most cases is indeed facing the complexity of reality, admitting you have no idea what to do and then hunting for someone who fills that weakness for you. You had the skills, the money but you did not have a visionary or your visionary was comparatively not as virtuous as what you needed, likely someone who would make a good apprentice student teacher under me and make no mistake about it, you're all my students until I tell you otherwise. In reality, when you're no longer my student, we will all know it without needing to say it. Then you'll be prepared to wield the power you possess... Or you'll know when it's time to pump the brakes or just do something else entirely and as to whether or not you'll have the willpower to act on that understanding is an entirely different tangential subject for us to analysis... Another aspect of the complexity of reality of which requires compensating for liability.
Make no mistake about it, all the costs of doing business that you could cover but you don't have to so you won't just so you can make more money or appear on paper to be more successful doesn't mean you won't have to pay that price in some other way. And if you don't pay the price, your children will. Ultimately, all of the criminal negligence the tech industry and every other industry is responsible for does in a roundabout way create problems that the taxpayer ends up paying for which means you do pay for it but you just don't get directly blamed for it. Trust me when I tell you that preventing the damage is actually far more efficient than cleaning up the mess later.
Every time an industry makes this failed decision and P hacks their perception of economic success, they take a loan out on the ecosystem and their children's future.
An old Indian proverb that I like was something like, "we don't own this world rather we borrow it from our children".
Don't pretend like I'm a failure or that my vernacular is the problem here when it's every single industry that's burning the world to the ground faster and faster every day. All of you are the morally and ethically questionable blindfolded children running with scissors who hypocritically paint me as the problem when all I'm doing is asserting negative feedback attempting to stop the corrupted positive feedback loops and all of you are actually causing death misery and the destruction of the planet. It's all of you that won't listen to reason and you presume that because I'm a non-conformist and "rude or toxic", (says nothing more than status quo driven opinions bandwagon BS mind you)? Ug.
I'm not the one enabling the majority to become an ecological disaster spreading reckless opinions and delusional beliefs all over the world. Social media is the biggest example of cascading waste by enabling redundancy and stagnating our society's development out of anything else I see in the world aside from religion which of course, you've been enabling religion to continue to spread even worse than it ever did before. The Romanesque dumpster fire has spilled out and become a forest fire of thought virus emulation thanks to antisocial media and it's reckless implementation while it oppresses the most intelligent, wise adults on the platform or worse forces us to be moderators and moderate based on black and white judgment calls that are fucking atrocious and stupid of which only serve economic biases while disregarding the true value that exists in this world which is "human potential".
Lastly, I fucking hope, you can't regulate billions of people. Presuming you can regulate billions of people with whack-a-mole authoritarianism or intimidation is even more absurd than the already completely absurd idea that you can tell people who are older & more intelligent as well as wiser than you, what to do.
Let's see, what are your specializations again? And you think you've learned enough to make a judgment call regarding the complexities of the braid of every scientific field and subfield that yields our current state of existence? If the answer is yes, well, I assure you that you're very wrong about that and evidence is suggesting quite the opposite... But I can work with that because if you assert that you know better than me then you at least are presuming that that sort of thing can be known. Then it's just a matter of me showing you how very wrong you are pretending that you know better than me and it's positive overall because you know you can understand it eventually and then I teach you as efficiently as possible.
If you're pessimistic then you're biased. If you think that what I'm talking about can't be known and that no one like me could possibly exist and that I'm just some arrogant narcissistic crazy person having delusions of grandeur, well, mirror mirror hypocrites and have you ever heard of the concept of projecting because that's exactly what you're doing when you just write me off with some weaponized DSM ad hominem tripe you prove that you're an arrogant condescending narcissistic fucking idiot having delusions of grandeur presuming that you can understand the complexity of reality and a complex person without ever doing your due diligence in their regard nor it even being your specialization. Meanwhile you've been distracted by this childish game of Monopoly pretending to be successful and better than everybody else, right? Perhaps not. Perhaps I've got all of you choders wrong just like you clearly gotten me wrong?
Signed bobboss#3563 discord (don't approach me anonymously and be prepared to speak vocally if you hide, you insult me and prove yourself to be a coward. Fuck text and fuck anonymity)
PS Stop the hate before it's too late. (I'm referring to your hatred of non-conformists who won't be exactly what you want them to be or your hatred of people who are far more intelligent than you and won't pretend otherwise in ways of which make you very uncomfortable.)
30 hashtags and I wasn't even close to done. I usually stick to five if I can help it but I'm not hashtagging this for any other reason but a sort of inside joke between myself and those running this platform. You're the only ones that will read it and that's still a big maybe. We're wasting time here either way. Know that. This could be so much more fun if you just loosen up and let go of your industry standards. Just face reality except that it's going to be a little difficult and that anything or any person that takes a bunch of effort also very likely that endeavor is extremely valuable. Think how long it took you to get your specialization and become virtuous with it. If that process was easy then it probably wouldn't have been as valuable now apply that to understanding the likes of me. There's an initial investment and then you'll be learning for years and you'll end up with skills and understanding as well as a friend or an asset that is invaluable to you. At some point, if we do this logically and invest the time needed, will just be learning together after that. We'll all move on to something more interesting, the sort of shit you're never going to know about because I'm wasting my fucking breath with this voice to text construction more than likely because more than likely you're all too far gone, brainwashed and lazy. You probably didn't even read this. If you did though, kudos. If you just laughed at me and didn't contact me, then know that you're a joke one day you're going to realize it. Likely when you're around 50 years old. Don't make that mistake and then have shit tons of regret. And hurry up. Every single person in your organization needs to know about this or at least all the upper business management every project lead and every heavy lifter. I mean I'd even let the janitor in on it because I like full transparency.
There's never enough space to express the complexity of reality. Tldr hate trend is irrational. I'm giving you a gift. I made the effort. This example I display for you now is more valuable proof of a great many things, far more than a resume. And to think I deleted 4,000 characters in favor of succinctness only to produce everything you read or don't read now. I'm shaking my head and rolling my eyes. Here I am committing suicide with my time offering respect to people who are not likely ever going to respect me until I'm dead. I feel bad for your future forms. I feel bad for your children. That's all you get for me today. This is probably the only feedback you'll ever get from me. This is probably the only time I'm ever going to offer you the opportunity because I'm out of patience . If you only knew the redundant IRL Black mirror nightmare that has been the past 24 years of my life, you'd get it... Hopefully you'll have the courage to face it and make it right. Hopefully the people that run Tumblr are more intelligent and possess the mental complexity to truly hear me. Good luck to us both, obviously I'm going to need it and you're going to need it right now making the decision to contact me or not. You better think about it for as long as you need to to make the right choice. No heuristics. No Hasty judgment. No generalizations. No industry standards.
If being different is a crime then the more rare and different traits a person expresses, the more different they are and the more they're hated.
I am ASD, ADD, nonconformist, as well as extremely intelligent, I may even be a savant with extreme gifts but I'm trying to find somebody to help me determine what's what and that is proving to be really difficult.
Point is, I'm so rare and I have so many traits that people hate that I've been turned into a dead man walking for the past 24 years. I'm not allowed to speak in public. I don't have equal rights. I have no legal protections. I get denied basic medical and dental care. There's no point in me joining any group anywhere ever. No point in the investing in social media hardly at all. No point me really doing anything because it all gets sabotaged. I just keep getting my time eviscerated because of other people's unrealistic expectations and their prejudices.
Even when people aren't prejudice towards me, they still feel like they can't be my friend for whatever reason. I'm always alienated.
And then people tell me all the time, just stop talking about your intelligence. I'm like, you mean don't speak because if I speak I'll display my intelligence and get fucking canceled anyway? How about you tell some people with ASD to just not be ASD anymore? How about you tell someone who is a racial minority to just not be the color that they are? It's fucking absurd. The double standard is disgusting.
I'm not going to talk about anything else until the world faces this. Every time I say something, people respond with the same ableist still mongering apologist type of BS that was applied to protecting racism, oppression of women and every different sexual state of being.
I even have to make sure that everyone follows me outside of social media and even add email contact because I'll get banned everywhere, always. The only way to avoid it is not speaking or just sharing art or something. Which is absurd that I can't actually be honest with anybody. I can't speak intelligently without being attacked and then I'm not allowed to defend myself verbally. No wonder people turn to violence. No wonder people just suicide or mutism.
And then professionals are stumped as to why certain things like this happen. Well, that's just because they've never spoken to me before so I can't enlighten them and that's because I've been oppressed and nobody knows I exist. How convenient.
Signed, bobboss#3563 discord
Anybody else noticed that most people on social media pretty much run like cult leaders? I don't think they are even aware of it. I notice it because if I say anything that is intelligent as a response to somebody's post and then they block me or delete my comments or try to turn their followers against me or don't do anything when they're followers attack me because they're prejudice towards intelligent people, I smell a cult. Then I usually get canceled, AKA shunned which is exactly what cult leaders do. And again, antisocialmedia terms of service and their moderation tactics even the moderators themselves who can't separate from their biases Target me with prejudice and run the whole platform like a cult that enables whatever trendy opinion the majority has bandwagon and the hatred of intelligence is the most prevalent of all hate that nobody talks about hardly ever. If you search the internet for hating smart people you'll see what I mean because it's rampant. Again, no laws to protect intelligent people from discrimination. I'm ASD and extremely intelligent. Even worse, I am a flavor of intelligence that even intelligent people hate. I'm the rarest of the rare so I get paid more than any other minority, even racial minorities. And when I ask someone who supporting black lives matter to also support me in regards to the prejudice towards intelligence, they treat me like I'm crazy or they outright say no because they've got a family to think of. I'm serious, I've seen that response before. The double standard and hypocrisy is truly disgusting.
Best check your hate before it's too late. Young adults, actual adults and children alike are all implementing cancel culture to destroy the lives of intelligent people who won't keep their mouths shut about it or who dare show them that their opinions are wrong and make them feel stupid. Their insecurities should not be a justification to target us with shunning because when it's for a prolonged period or it destroys our ability to make money, it's torture as well as a danger for our health. It really should be a crime and the social media company should be held accountable for it. They enable it after all. Even the moderators of these platforms hate anyone who's smarter than them and it's the same thing if we intelligent people try to go get a job, we won't get hired because the boss doesn't want competition.
Most importantly to note, shunning is what cult leaders use to coerce and bully all of the people into conformity so they can protect their position as the ruler of everything in the decider of all. 14-year-olds are doing this on the internet. Anybody who gets to start a community anywhere on the internet is usually doing it. Every single platform, the terms of service are pretty reflective of occult that enables Mass conformity of which favors religiosity. Failure to separate church and state and of course religious people hate intelligent logical people, especially when we won't enable their delusions. And again, no laws protect intelligent people from discrimination and no laws protect non-believers from being discriminated against by religious people. Double standards. Hypocrisy. it's in atrocity. I'm honest and honesty is a crime. I've been turned into a Dead Man walking for the past 24 years for doing the right thing. Shame shame shame and crimes against humanity is what all of this is. I will not be ashamed that I'm smarter than the majority and I won't hide it. I'm not going to be oppressed in the silence. If you're wrong I'm going to tell you you're wrong. It shouldn't be a crime to be intelligent. It shouldn't be a crime to express intelligence. And all the people who judge me are hypocrites who are pretending that they're smart enough to judge such complex situation in such a complex person, they're narcissists and they think I'm the narcissist which is projecting. And then they tell me that I need to be humble, so what like you're better than me because you're so socially and communicatively Superior with your humbleness? You don't see the hypocrisy there? And how convenient that me feigning humility would serve to protect all of your erroneous opinions, right? How convenient that I won't be your competition as you pretend to be tribal wise people if I just shut up all the time, right? You're all robbing intelligent people of their voice in this world and mass bullying everything into being made just for you toxic conservative majority. shame shame shame on all of you. Yep, I'm right and you've never heard the truth in your entire lives. You're welcome. Now go ahead, ruin my life, it's already ruined. You got nothing to hold over me. When someone doesn't have anything to lose, they don't care about your rules that's another reason why it's dangerous for everyone to do what keep this petty tripe up.
My 1st confession-blr, just some stuff I have been going through that might be relatable, to I guess someone.
(No self hate, just some thinking out loud and blabber,ig)
Stuff's pretty miserable. I don't feel good. I don't even know how I feel, I guess its loneliness even though I do have lovely people around...I literally don't know...
Started to feel like there is something wrong w/ me. My circle is not one which resonates with me, I still love them but no one is ever "just there for me". 17 ,and still don't have a "bff" other than my sister and mother. My cousins aren't a fan of me either, have one who is my same age but still matches "vibes" with my younger sister. We were great 2 yrs ago but...
I try so hard to be nice to people, yet I see people effortlessly happy, I wonder why I make any extra effort, no one has to, they get on fine without thinking much. Sometimes I feel sick of feeling so much and not being able to cry.
Things which give me happiness like writing or reading novels or photography or nerding out on cosmology etc., I can't do any of it without being guilt stricken every singe minute. Even as I write this I realize I need to complete my Chemistry notes and physics assignments and practice math, afterall its 12th grade, the LIFE DECIDING YEAR... but I seem to do neither hard work for 12th marks nor extra stuff I like.
Sometimes, when I like ,sit down to think, I feel like I'm a no-one sitting in middle of nowhere , meaning nothing to anyone except my family and teachers. I AM REPLACEABLE. The worst thought... I am not an indispensable part of anyone's life other than my family (which is obvious I guess + cuz they are lovely coping up with me)...
No, I don't hate myself. I love myself. I just am at a phase where nothing is moving...All still...and in that stillness, I feel... not very happy.
I wished so much after I came out of 10th, but my life has been nothing but monotonous...
The people I thought were a gift to me, turns out I don't matter that much to them, and I feel guilty of expecting too much. Still, I wonder, is it too much to expect some kind of care or support from people who claim to be yours? Maybe, it is.
If you’re happier without me it would hurt but I would try leaving you be.
~ Yeah, sadly I got used to being left and ghosted. I mean it still hurts, but I am not suprised by it. But honestly, you can still go and fuck yourselves!^^
/ One of the ugliest action a person can do! /
I feel like everyone around me is growing and getting meaningful relationships and for some reason I'm struggling to do so.
Dear sisters
A free bird leaps
on the back of the wind
and floats downstream
till the current ends
and dips his wing
in the orange sun rays
and dares to claim the sky.
But a bird that stalks
down his narrow cage
can seldom see through
his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and
his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.
The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.
The free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn bright lawn
and he names the sky his own.
But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.
The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.
“If it is important enough, you will find a way. Otherwise, you’ll find an excuse.”
— Unknown
“Where words are scarce they are seldom spent in vain, for they breathe truth that breathe their words in pain.”
- Quoted in The Weight of Ink by Rachel Kadish.
From Shakepeare’s The Tragedy of King Richard the Second.
I’m minding my own…how about you all do the same. 😏😘