Bsd Incorrect Quotes - Blog Posts
ADA Infiltrating a party, Yosano's in a beautiful dress
Naomi: How come you get to wear the dress?
Yosano: Because Dazai doesn't have the hips for it
Dazai: *sigh* And it's not my colour
Kunikida: Ranpo, did you eat all the donuts?
Ranpo: No.
Kunikida: I can see the white powder on your pants.
Ranpo:
Ranpo: That’s cocaine.
"I'm about to end my lifu with this fucking knifu"
- Osamu Dazai, probably.
Dazai, singing: If you're feeling stressy and depressy, and your life is kinda messy, clap you hands~
Dazai: *clapping very loudly*
A random drunk girl trying to pick Dazai up at a bar: I've never even kissed a guy.
Dazai, staring intently at Chuuya across the room, chin propped up on his hand: Me neither~
Dazai: I think this outfit makes me look older :D
Kyouka: But you're already old.
Dazai: EXCUSE ME, WHAT?
Atsushi, trying to convince Chuuya to join the group: You know... I thought it'd be good to have someone come along who's really... strong!
Dazai: And loud!
Dazai: And grumpy!
Dazai: And short!
Dazai: And oblivious to reality!
Chuuya:
Chuuya: When I have a crush I don't kick my feet or twirl my hair. Chuuya: Instead I am in my kitchen at 3am pacing in circles with my hands clasped behind my back like a middle-aged divorced detective haunted by a cold case he just can't crack.
Dazai, walking up to look at a dead body: Okay, first of all, big mood.
Chuuya: Isn't the idea supposed to be "you saved my life, now I owe you a debt?" Dazai: Nope. Other way round. You saved my life, so now I'm your problem. If you don't like it, then kill me. Dazai: God wanted me dead, now you get to find out why.
Dazai: Hi, I’m bi. I’m attracted to women because they are incredible and I’m attracted to men because I love making bad choices.
Fukuzawa: And, as always, here's your weekly reminder that therapy and other psychiatric services are covered by the ada healthcare plan.
Dazai:
Dazai, whispering to Kunikida: Why does he always look at me when he says that?
Dazai: Kunikida and I get along perfectly. Don't we, Kunikida?
Kunikida: I have never been so stressed in my entire life.
Atsushi, seeing the cops marching past:
Atsushi, who has done nothing wrong ever: They're coming for me.
Dazai, currently wanted for 138 murders, 312 cases of extortion, and 625 cases of fraud, along with various and sundry other crimes: Yeah, probably.
Kunikida: Why is Dazai late, again?
Atsushi, writing Dazai's report: He said he's going through an existential crisis and won't get up of his futon cause he doesn't know what's real anymore. 😅
Kunikida: 😡
*singer!Chuuya au*
Interviewer: Do you ever hear from your exs after you release a song about them?
Chuuya: Well some of them like to write really long emails.
Interviewer: Oh really?
Chuuya: Hm. The guys when I break up with them are like, "You better not write a song about this!"
Chuuya: and I'm like, "No, I wont."
Interviewer:
Chuuya: and then I do.
Interviewer:
Interviewer: Have your ever written a song it was so mean you couldn't release it?
Chuuya: No, I just put those on my albums.
Dazai: When I was 15 I googled "two men kissing" on Mori's computer and when he asked me why that was in his search bar, I said "Idk, you tell me"
Dazai: and it worked.
Dazai: Chuuya and I don't use pet names.
Odasaku: I see. Hey, what do bees make?
Dazai: Honey.
*silence*
Dazai: Ha, you thought, bitch.
Chuuya, yelling from another room: What do you want, whore?
Dazai: FUCK THIS, FUCK LIFE. ALL I WANTED WAS TO BE HAPPY. I'M NOT ASKING MUCH. HAPPINESS IS GONE FOREVER. IT FLEW OUT THE WINDOW. FROM NOW ON, MY EMO PHASE COMES BACK...
Atsushi: Oh, Dazai, are you ok?
Ranpo: No. He didn't get eras tour tickets.
Well, exam season has official started at my school.
Time to put all of the violent threats into incorrect quote format to make them seem fun and jovial.
BSD as thing said during exam season, part 1
Akutagawa: How did it go?
Chuuya: I am going to FUCKING KILL HER!
Akutagawa: Ah. Bad.
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Tachihara, about the German Speaking book: I can burn this, now! Does anyone want to join me?
Gin: Can I bring my partner?
Tachihara: Bring some food and we’ll make it a BBQ! Invite everyone! Posters everywhere!
Gin: Wonderful!
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Chuuya: Oh, they got a new clock.
Dazai: Kouyou! Chuuya’s inspecting the school’s cocks!
Chuuya: NO!
Chuuya: You know what burns great with a German Speaking book?
Chuuya: You.
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Atsushi: Burning stuff’s bad for the environment!
Akutagawa: Fuck you!
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Random person: Why don’t you burn my heart, baby girl?
Gin: WOULD YOU LIKE TO GET KICKED IN THE DICK?