Burnt Out - Blog Posts

They told us to aim for the stars, that even our failures would be rich.

They didn't tell us that in exchange our victories would feel cheap and lifeless.

I have to fail to feel.

Cannot be bothered to complete my assignments but will write thousands of words for a fic in one night

Secret boss -2

Sorey guys but today and yesterday were chaotic and tiring so I don't have any secret bosses for ya

I'm super burnt out and hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to make some or flesh out the sketches I have

Also suggestions are greatly appreciated since I'm kinda running out of ideas and I feel the suggestions will also motivate me more

Thanks for the support

Prodigy of 7

I am a broken burnt out child prodigy I could speak a mile a minute Words were my freedom My liberty

My tongue was cut when I was 7 My heart was burning with the anger and disappointment of a million My mother My father My friends My teachers

Too many people thought me to be "brave" "intelligent" "independent" "strong"

Yet all along I was "Afraid" "Alone" "Fragile"

I was never independent I thought I couldn't rely on anyone I thought I was alone

This must have been why I tried so hard on my grades This must have been why I crashed one too many times

I am a burnt out and broken child prodigy I was...

Being in college is like riding a bike. Except the bike is on fire. So is your money, your brain, your soul, and your will to live. And I’m barely passing my classes because they told me to read this article and then I didn’t but still aced the test yet my assignments are not doing so well. College is great, guys.

Don't you hate it when you start off spooky month completely burnt out....

TW: Negative Venting, anxiety, depression, road accident

I want to start using tumblr like I would have in high school because I never did so, but this is going to be a learning curve so bear with me.

I’m a 22 year old queer lesbian, I’ve moved back to hometown after graduating college, and I feel like a failure. (Wow Night in the Woods sounds so good here) I feel like I wasted my academic career trying to become something I can’t be and find community when all I was finding were distractions to deal with the political stress of the world. I feel like the community I have found I’ve pushed away and don’t view me as a part of their community or that I’ve overstepped when I should’ve just communicated. My best friend, probably my first true friend, is taking a break from talking with me and I’m afraid I’ve ruined that friendship for the sake of finding love when I don’t fully love myself. I crashed my car after having a panic attack after being sleep deprived because I was trying to see my partner late at night after failing yet another interview. I feel powerless to fight the powers that be while also having to live as a consumer. I feel like the leftist spaces I do find have people who want to be perceived as the *best activist* that they cancel anyone who makes mistakes and ignore actually creating community for the sake of being politically correct. There’s nothing wrong with calling people out when they are being harmful on purpose, but I understand it’s difficult to recognize when people are being human and making mistakes or are just being assholes on purpose. Politics and amplified mental illness do not go hand in hand in terms of communication. When everyone is used to people being cruel it’s hard to trust that people can be kind. I’ve seen this happen so many times in leftist spaces now, through my dating life, friendships, and it’s frustrating.

I feel like it is impossible for people to connect when our communities disappeared during the pandemic.

I have typically liked writing in a journal, but i feel like tumblr can be a safe place for someone to blog and vent if need be.

I know it can be harmful in certain circumstances, but I am tired of not trusting people anymore and it all started with social media so I am going to try to fix that by being as authentic as possible. whether anyone reads or not is up to the algorithm.

All it comes down to is this: I am a burnt out queer neurodivergent human being who is afraid of being perceived who has developed major trust issues. I’m afraid of being perceived/judged by lovely humans who love me and have shown me love. Because I have been treated unfairly by people in the past. It doesn’t matter if I mask or not, people are always going to project their facts and feelings onto me, and I need to get used to it. So here goes nothing.

💞✨

I was bored, I created this, and away we go.