Clive Schill - Blog Posts
Me after Clive and let die.
Francesca is my new obsession. She is the girl boss to my gatekeep.
My deranged head cannons for DILF Clive Schill
His wife is a social worker and is the nicest woman you've ever met.
They both met in university.
Clive was doing some dumb uni degree, like English or psychology.
I think his wife was probably like a mean girl in secondary school, but has tried to make amends with everyone she hurt.
If his daughter asks for something in the shop he'll always say no, but is constantly giving her gifts.
When his wife was pregnant he had nesting syndrome, and would spend hours just decorating and cleaning and dalting after his wife.
Clive either really likes football (like every single match for his team) or violently hates it.
Clive smashes a phone every month.
When he's drunk he vents to his wife about his work.
He wife knows what he does but believes it's for the greater good.
They never acknowledge his work when they're sober.
He owns some of the most tacky designer stuff you've ever seen.
He shops at sports direct.
They live in one of those generic new builds.
Does their weekly shop at Tesco because they want the club card points. It is also the only place locally that sells tahini.
I will not be taking any criticism at this time ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I invented a Clive cocktail,
Ingredients
* A cup of cold coffee (expresso)
* Two shots of jäger cold brew
Instructions
Make some coffee
Add ice cubes
Add two shots jäger cold brew
Shake
Serve with a handful of amphetamines
Yay Red Valley art dump :D
What if we called Clive, Pam and Rebecca the CPR trio...
I'm sleepy and it came to me in a haze. But like. Consider it.
OK OK OK OH MY GOD. I'm actually crying. It was such a beautiful episode... A bit heartbreaking but beautiful.
Don't want to accidentally spoil anything so! Cut!
I really think I can draw some parallels between Jade and Warren and analyze everything properly but like. I can't right now. This podcast makes me too emotional to think.
Ok but big thoughts aside!!! Clive and Pam!!! Oh how she hates him I can feel it. My favorite morally fucked up people.
And Waffles!! My light and joy!!! Everyone likes Waffles!!!!
GORD is the funniest little guy in the world and must be protected.
Malcolm is a bitch and I think it feels awful for him to hear Gordon's voice instead of Rebecca's from Blue Sky. And that's part of the reason he's such a hater. Malcolm is the type to say the most disrespectful shit and then be like OH WELL IT'S A FREE COUNTRY INNIT. And honestly? Grandpa energy.
Hester is the sweetest and I really want to hear more from her she's so cool and like??? Motherly??? Idk she's awesome.
AND WDYM THEY WENT INTO HYPERSLEEP. Like it's great that they explained it because I was kind of lost with calculating their ages but DUDE.
Jade makes me cry but like I'm grateful??? It's amazing and heart touching and I'm a mess about her.
And well... Uhm... Don't really know how I feel about the visiting Gordon part. Plus I don't think it would be easy for Warren to even enter the cryosuite. It was mentioned that the security system is over complicated and like??? He just went there??? Didn't really get that.
All in all, happy Red Valley day to those who celebrate! I'm so excited!!!
I couldn't sleep last night so I made S1E6 memes. I love this TikTok trend.
Behold for I've brought you some memes
OH FUCK. OH FUCK. OH FUCK.
WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN???
Spoilers under the cut!!!
Ok so I was actually so scared to hear gun shots. Like you people better NOT. And for the rest of the episode I was just sitting there staring into the void.
Pamela and Clive for life they're so sksnkxlsoksnsns yk????
AND ALSO!!! OMG!!!! WE'RE GETTING A WYWH3!!!!!! GUYS I'M SO EXCITED!!!!! I LITERALLY FUCKING WHEEZED.
So yeah stay tuned for the memes
I'm so not ready for the end of part 1... I'm so not ready...
It's just so funny to me that Clive and Bryony tried to manipulate Warren by threatening to kill Gordon. Like. You guys seem to forget that these two men literally know each other for less than a week. They're not besties or something (at least they weren't at the moment). They were literally about to fight two minutes ago. You're just hoping that a violent criminal is a good person at this point🥲
I have so many feelings about Red Valley. I want to rant endlessly about the characters and motivations. It's just so awesome that I can relisten to it over and over again and still find the connections I haven't noticed before. I enjoy the writing and I absolutely LOVE the acting. I mean It's so good I can actually believe that these are real ass people having their real ass conversations. It's about the little intonations, the details, the things that are almost unnoticeable which proves again that they're very well done. The duality of every single character is making me insane. I want to consume this podcast in every way it is possible.
✨Clive Bartholomew Schill✨
Actually going insane about the new Red Valley episode. I love Clive Schill I love him so much. AND HIS DYNAMIC WITH PAM??? INSANE.