Joke - Blog Posts
ong? fr? on god?
OKAY HELLOOO HI @nn01r THANK YOU FOR GETTING A COMMISSION FROM ME ASWELL ! I’m so sorry it looks a bit wonky I can’t draw space stuff that well HELP
BUT. I HAD ALOT OF FUN EXPERIMENTING WITH STUFF HERE ! I got to use some tools I didn’t use very often so WOOO💥💥💥💥💥💥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💥💥🔥🔥⚰️
guess which forsaken skin i main impossible edition
hint: 007n7
THATS RIGHT, ITS “DAD” IM SURE EVERYONE GUESSED THAT
Craziness is fun.
best part of writing is coming up with a backstory for a character, thinking, "huh that sounds familiar" and then finding out some DC writer in 1950 wrote that exact backstory for his character "The Quangler" who fights specifically Nazi ducks or smth
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.infinitycow.eplay
This app is the WORST app I’ve ever used. DON’T SUGGEST IT AGAIN!!! I HATE music apps. Music is stupid. Why does anybody listen to music. My lord Chris-chan would find a disliking to this link, as he does not enjoy E-Play on the google play store. NEVER EVER send me links like this again. How DARE you. looks like someone wants to get on my dark side. Those who do, never go back... you see, I don't care about others lives. They're all meaningless. The tree. The sky. The ocean. We'll all die one day, so it doesn't really matter does it. I might as well enjoy myself... how would I do that, you may ask? Well.. prepare yourself... buddy.... Bro, let me tell you straight up, E-Play on the AppStore is an absolute disaster, like, I can't even deal with it, man. I mean, it's like they took a dump on the whole gaming scene and called it innovation. The graphics are so outdated, I might as well be playing on a calculator from the '90s. And don't even get me started on the gameplay mechanics – it's like they hired a bunch of monkeys to code it. I'd rather wrestle a grizzly bear with my bare hands than subject myself to another minute of that garbage. Seriously, why waste my precious time on something that's lower quality than a Walmart knockoff? I'd rather spend my time crushing it at the gym or partying with the squad. E-Play? More like E-Waste, am I right? They need to step up their game big time if they want any chance of surviving in the jungle that is the AppStore. But until then, I'll stick to dominating in the real world, leaving E-Play to the basement dwellers and plebs. Bro, let me lay it down for you – I'm the alpha of alphas, the sigma of sigmas. Winning? It's not just a hobby, it's my way of life. I dominate every arena I step foot in, whether it's crushing it in the boardroom, tearing up the field, or conquering the digital realm. You name it, I've conquered it. See, being a sigma means I don't follow the crowd – I make my own rules and blaze my own trail. While the betas and the wannabes are busy playing catch-up, I'm already miles ahead, setting the pace and leaving them in the dust. So when it comes to gaming, it's no surprise that I always come out on top. Whether it's strategizing my way to victory or relying on sheer skill, I'm unstoppable. YOU want ME to download this app? NO CAN DO BUCKAROO! Don’t make me show you the pain train ANONYMOUS. Heh… don’t make me show you my dark side… if you were to even get a glimpse of my mind, it’d simply make you insane. You think you've got a dark side? Trust me, I've danced with darkness and emerged unscathed. My mind is a fortress, impenetrable to the feeble attempts of those who think they can intimidate me. You may think you're some kind of enigma, but to me, you're just another player in the game – and one I've already outsmarted. You talk a big game about insanity, but I thrive in chaos. My mind is a symphony of calculated madness, orchestrating every move with precision and purpose. So go ahead, show me your so-called dark side. But be warned, you're playing with fire, and I've got enough ice in my veins to extinguish even the fiercest flames. My heart is cold, and my moves are bold, buddy. Don’t test me.
an original character!
that’s my friend who simp of octotrio
i hope she like that
Let me look at you, brilliant
Azul: If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet,
You’ve got to pay the toll
Take a gulp and take a breath
And go ahead and sign the scroll
(to Jade and Floyd) Flotsam, Jetsam, now I’ve got her, boys
The boss is on a roll
This POOR UNFORTUNATE SOULS
Floyd: …
Jade: …
Mc: …
Azul: Oh… i- i really can’t explain that. Just a rush of emotions. Never mind.
.
.
.
I'm so excited about the little mermaid's contract signing scene!
Wait for the adaptation of the shot of this moment!
See you next week 🙌
My best! Update Azul
I insist that this is his canonical form underwater
Here you are: Azul Ashengrotto ! He-he 🐙
i think daryl is like. incredibly vanilla. like not only does he not know what he's doing he'd also be terrified if you asked him to slap you or whatever LMAO like he'd just freeze nd look at you like you're insane. i think he'd only do that sort of stuff if he was in the receiving end of it
also. he has absolutely no game. i saw that one interview where norman said if daryl ever hooked up w any character he wanted him to just. cum early go cry in a corner nd then deny it all. nd ive been thinking about that for three days straight like yes #real if you want to do absolutely anything w daryl you're going to have to be the one making the first move nd asking for it cause his ass is Not doing any of that
whats your thought process behind calling a mother cutting a sandwich weird "child abuse"
it was a joke. how... how did you not realize it was a joke.
it feels pretty obvious...
awkward...
just had a guy declare he’d fight for me because I gave him some popcorn.
mercenaries seem to have to really gone down in price!
DANE COOK - THE ATHEIST
(slimmed down version)
Here's what went down, okay. I'm standing next to this guy, this entire thing starts off with a sneeze.
He sneezed. Debris. Movement.
So I turn to him and this is what I said. I looked at him and I went, huh God Bless You. Yeah. I said it like that. God Bless You. Which is God Bless You but it kinda sounds like, cover you're fuckin' mouth.
God Bless You. This is what the guy comes back with, okay. Here's where it starts to get out of control. The guy looks at me and very condescending, he goes, huh… yeah... I'm an Atheist.
Yeah, what a jerk, right. I'm trying to be polite and I don't know you're an Atheist. And even if I did, what am I supposed to say when an Atheist sneezes? Uhhh... when you die nothing happens.
So now. Oh Man. Now I start getting into like a religious debate with this guy. And it is awful. Okay. He's questioning my beliefs. He goes, well what about you? What did you grow up?
Well, I was raised Catholic.
As I'm telling him about my religious background, he is laughing at me. He is LAUGHING at me. He's giggling. He's like, you believe this? This is what… hahaha… ohh… ahh.
Now for his own entertainment he says to me. Let me ask you this. What do you believe happens to you after, um after you die? And I said, uhh... okay… well, hopefully I live a good life and my soul goes to heaven and when I get there all my ancestors will be waiting for me like it's an airport. HEY! Whatsapp? Guess who's dead sucker. Hahahaaa! Come here. Float over here. Check this out.
I'm telling him this. He's laughing even more. He is so condescending. He's so snarky with his fuckin' attitude. Yeah, Snarky it's a word. Google that shit. It exsists. I'm not kidding. Snarky, great word. Google magic my friends.
So he's laughing at my beliefs. And finally I just snap. What about you? Okay! What about you? Alright! What happens to you? You’re an Atheist. What does that mean? What happens to you after you die?
Now he gets very serious, like he's about to school me. Okay. Oh I can tell you young man. I can tell you. I KNOW what's going to happen to me after I die. After I pass on, my body will become one with this Earth. From there, I will become a fertilizer for this planet. And with that I will return as a huge, beautiful tree. That's what this guy believes. He’s laughing at me... he’s going to come back as a fuckin’ ficus. Yeah… Johnny weeping willow over here.
I wanted to slam this guy so bad for this, right. But then I stopped. I stopped you guys, please hear me out. I let it sink in and I want you to as well.
I hope when he dies he does become a tree. I hope he's in the middle of the wilderness and he's doing his tree thing. Whatever it is trees do. I know they do a lot of work with breezes. And wouldn't it be fantastic if while he was out there just enjoying his treeness. Through the woods a huge, sweaty guy with an axe comes along. Sees him. Chops him down. Smash! Put a chain around him. Drag him through the mud and the muck. Throw him into a sawmill. Grind him up. Then you pound him down into paper. And once he's paper. You print the Bible on him.
Source: http://goo.gl/NEr6oV
on the way to the bathroom, you're russian. when you're in the bathroom, european. when you come out, you are finnish. ;)))
puppy too dumb for college (>∆<)
puppy need some1 to make decision for puppy cuz puppy can't think very well
puppy good at obeying tho V>ᴥ<V
People who deserve to die
People who puts pineapple on pizza
People unwilling to admit that dr. Pepper is better than both coke and pepsi
People who think Boston pizza, chiptole, and Denny's can be considered food.
People who wear crocs.
People who say their favourite colour is grey. Grey is a shade not a colour.
People who have posted on tumblr
People who share dumb Facebook memes.
People who think the accordion is a dumb instrument
People who think becoming a SoundCloud rapper is a good career choice
People who make terrible dance/electronic remixes for songs where it doesn't make sense.
People who put soya sauce on tacos
People who say they can see why kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch because I know you're lying.
People who are unwillingly to admit that Daddy Daycare is the greatest film of all time
Best things about Light Yagami:
He once ate a piece of a notebook that can kill people to destroy evidence.
He plays Mario Kart with a god of death.
He gets to his entrance exams (which will pretty much define his future) 10 mins before the test because *he hates waiting*.
He basically built a bomb inside his desk and decided he could get away with it saying he didn't want people to read his diary.
This scene.
Lind L. Tailor: I consider this the most atrocius act of murder in history.
Light: ...
Lind L. Tailor: You did not slayyy
Light: *kills Tailor*
😁😄 Пароюмор ☺️😆 №3
"Пора посетить библиотеку. Повысить свой уровень....... Как там его называют.... Какой-то Q."
😁😄SteamFun☺️😆 №3
"It's time to visit the library. To raise level of....... What they call it.... Something with Q."
