heyyyyyyy, if u wanna talk & discuss about the AFTG and TSC…you are welcome https://discord.gg/6N5bsXYA
Im looking for a specific fic, I always remember very specific scenes and dialogue from fics I’ve read but never the fic itself 😭. I can’t remember if it was on ao3 or tumblr
It had the minyard v. Josten rivalry and was post-canon and during pros, and I think at the end it after Kevin and Neil had been fighting for the ball during a game, Kevin’s team had 8-5? I think on Neil and Andrew’s team, then when Andrew gets out on the court, Neil asks Andrew to shut down the goal and Andrew’s like what do I get out of doing it? And Neil says it’ll make Kevin sad. And since he only sees Kevin a few times a year now bc they’re in pros, he ends up shutting it down and Neil and Andrew’s team get 4 more points I think and then Kevin’s team gets Kevin another shot at the goal but Andrew blocks it and their team wins. Then at the end of the game Neil asks Andrew if he wants to piss of Kevin more and he’s like how and Neil asks yes or no and Neil calls Kevin’s name to make him turn their way and they kiss on live tv , Kevin’s pissed and says “fuck you josten, fuck you minyard” before storming off.
If you know which fic it is pls share bc I’ve looked everywhere through my history and I cannot for the life of me find it again 💔
How often does Kevin get confused about his own thoughts?
He rushes through painful memories, hiding from the present, accepting the pain of the past as necessary, as worth it, as the only familiar way out and escape. Deceiving yourself, loved ones around you, your true feelings and desires, hiding in the shadow of the victim.
Nostalgia begins to take up more time of life — thoughts, views, unspeakable phrases, melodies, prospects. Overwhelming consciousness every time Kevin frozes in moral estrain, comparing pain in his legs and hands to childhood. Painfully unfair, but native.
The childhood of every person is an integral part of the personality. Kevin's essence is the name on the tombstone, broken bones, screams in the bedrooms, lack of sunlight, lack of life, knowledge of the price of oxygen in the lungs.
Where he came, having overcome a lot. What he's been through and where he's now. What a long way Kevin and the people around have overcome to find themselves again in this unchanging moment of longing. Stupid, stupid.
Living in the present will never seem as exciting and valuable as the reflection of the past in scars. Like insane goals, through pain and exhaustion, obsession with the future, being invariably in the past.
Kevin doesn't know how to love the present. The value of the moment seems too intimate, too rosy to believe — to realize your entire existence. Too much.
Throwing from memories of past mistakes to the debilitating feeling of a white sheet, the need for a new sensational headline, the change of ink — never allow you to attach importance to the present.
Each landscape photo with crumpled corners, familiar melodies, movies and even phrases is associated with special particles of memory, often burdened with fear and pain, but deceptively felt happy.
Kevin's memory every time betrays him worse than anyone else. In moments of bitter weakness, in exhausting fatigue and defeats, the past always misleads the guy, replacing memories, mixing feelings, making him feel sorry and hate every hidden word, every thing that was abandoned, dreaming of returning and correcting every second.
Strict words through time seem like a sick concern. Cruelty, screams - the required attention.
Kevin can't stand loving his pain. He hates to need to desecrate his dignity, to want to return to nightmares to feel like a disaster again, so that feelings are hidden again, there is no pity in the eyes and there is a low reason to be unworthy.
Kevin wants to be needed, but the only salvation that can become a buoy in the endless ocean is his own dead past.
Sudden tag: I respect Thea or why the Kevin/Thea relationship actually works in my opinion.
I know that many people don't like or even hate Thea, but I think Nora was being as fair as possible when she made Kevin's object of attraction an older, "independent", possibly selfish, and not in need of monogamy woman.
Muldani, like most of the characters in the trilogy, has screwed up in many ways, but there is so much negativity about her attitude towards the ongoing violence in the Evermore, although the same Kevin was one of the participants in this nightmare.
Literally each of the ravens is a traumatized person who tried to survive in the conditions available to him. And the conditions there were brutal.
Many can justify the actions of Rico (and I'm not saying this in a negative way, but as one of the main antagonists with his own motive), who was engaged in voyeurism and was the one who encouraged Kevin to sleep with Thea.
At the same time, she received a lot of hatred because of the misunderstood “fourteen” in Nora’s twitter or tumbler answers and her free spirit in relationships (reading carefully, Kevin became interested in her already as a university student).
It's just, you know, it's Kevin? Always under control, forever codependent. And then Thea appears - a strict girl, with a “rough playing style”, which later interests him.
Day certainly needs love and tenderness (and therapy), no less than Thea, but their open relationship, their “innocent little notes”, the thrown words “a little practice will make you better” - this is their way of avoidance, a way of not limiting their feelings to boundaries, in where they spent their childhood and youth.
I do think Thea and Kevin's relationship is sick, but this is the only time I believe it can work.
Two people who have gone through the same traumatic experience are automatically a complex coexistence.
But they know their purpose and realize where they stand in each other’s lives. Yes, there is no verbal concept of “love” between them, which can be observed even in the dialogues between Andrew and Neil. Nevertheless, they simply know each other’s feelings, believe and carefully cherish the moments they are together.
i like how tsc just confirmed that kevin day is the sexist man alive. this mfkr had neil, jean, and jeremy all whipped
I love ethnicity ambiguous Kevin and headcanon that he lets his hair grow UP after the king's man
Ask and yee shall receive ✨✨✨ …. (belatedly)
The following things must be drawn for me right away please and thank you no time to delay. Kevin like that but the sash says queen:
And then this but it’s Kevin on the board and Jean looking. THANKS IN ADVANCE FOR THE ART (SOMEONE BETTER GET CRACKING GUYS)
heard birds of a feather and thought about karasuno instead of kevjeaneil im healed
i need aftg as a mockumentary more than anything. imagine the confessionals after neil says or does anything. the amount times andrew would just look directly at the camera.
i'm not sure what the technicalities were before kayleigh day's death, but the idea that she might have trusted tetsuji, the man she cofounded exy with, her legacy, with her son, and he betrayed that trust in the most horrendous of ways, the idea that they might've been been friends at some point. it's just so devastating
deleting all the dating apps so i can find love the old fashioned way (i join a sports team made out of misfits with the purpose of giving them a second and third and fifth chance and the goalie and the striker are kind of intense but i end up promising the goalie to keep the striker here if he protects me from the literal mafia and i join their group that's referred to as the monsters by the rest of the team and the goalie gives me keys and truths and cigarettes and he says the thing between us is nothing and that he hates me but i know that the simple fact that he even bothers to express these things means something because he's usually so apathetic but sometimes he shows feelings to me and he trusts me and i trust him and the thing between us is not nothing even if he claims he wants to kill me most of the time)
kevneil is everything to me. neil trusting kevin with the truth, neil trusting kevin with his binder over winter break, kevin believing in neil's potential, kevin being so convinced about it that he says it publicly, knowing he takes what he says to the public very seriously. kevin telling neil he should run away, he should survive. neil staying and giving his game to kevin, neil arguing with riko on national television for kevin, kevin teaching neil raven drills, kevin telling neil he will stay sober on thanksgiving so neil could drink if he wanted to, neil promising andrew to take care of kevin while he's away... neil and kevin man
despite all of their traumatic connections to exy, kevin and neil just love and enjoy it so much. when they had nothing, they had exy or the memory of exy. when everything crumbled down around them, exy saved them. in the form of a coach taking them in, in the form of a team having their backs, in the form of a boy promising to protect them and telling them to stay... fell to my knees in walmart crying over these jocks
thinking about wymack just looking at his foxes one day and realizing that they are doing okay, they are doing so much better than they were the moment he took them in. they're learning to heal, they're learning to accept love and care and affection and to give it back. they are fighting for each other instead of against each other. they're good people and they deserve good lives, and if he had even the smallest role in that, he's happy. he did good by them.
let's talk about how kevin and andrew's love languages are gift giving. kevin, going on his trips outside of the nest and buying little souvenirs for jean, taking neil to get his first heavy racquet, andrew buying little figurines for betsy, giving neil his keys, buying neil his outfits, buying neil his armbands...
the way any combination between neil, andrew, jean and kevin works is so funny you can pair any of them or all of them it just works
im so normal about kevin day i swear to god. imagine your mom invents a sport, imagine you grow up with this sport being your entire life, you get abused and punished and shoved into the spotlight from a young age, all for this sport. you don't know anything else. it's all you've ever done and all you've ever been. you have to be the best at it. and one day you get punished for that too, and this sport you've poured everything into gets ripped right out of your hands by the boy you've grown up forced to consider your brother. you have to learn it from zero with your non dominant hand. you have, in an incredibly short span of time, to get as good at it as you were before the injury. of course you're fucking obsessed with it to the point of being unsympathetic sometimes, of course there's no other choice. the pressure is unimaginable. you cannot afford to be anything but the best. you cannot afford to relax and let go of it even for a second. you left the cave but the shadows are all you've ever known
andrew: happy birthday kevin [hands gift to neil]
you ever think about how neil came to the foxhole court every inch a lie but his friends made him into someone real? how he began trusting them with little parts of himself gradually, how he accepted that staying with them would mean death, and stayed anyway. about how he was their family, they were his. they were worth every every cut and bruise and scream. i will never move on from how neil found himself in the middle of these misfits, found trust and friendship and love and protection, found the wish to live instead of just survive, found the wish to stay and fight and protect instead of run away, because he finally found something worth fighting and staying and risking his life for.
headcanon that kevin starts to pick up on a bit of german since he's around the monsters so much and he absolutely hates that he's starting to understand andreil's insane brand of flirting when they think nobody who could understand it is around
i think one of my favorite things about aftg is how it so subtly shows such a deep level of affection through languages. like kevin learning french for jean even though it is a dangerous thing to do at the nest and neil and andrew learning a new language together post tkm and one of the first things jeremy asks jean being to teach him french. i want to know who you are in your mother language, i want to speak to you in a language that no one but us understands, i want to understand the language that you dream in
in an universe where neil ended up being a raven, i wonder if after escaping the nest he and jean could ever remain close, or they would be doomed to the same fate as kevjean, to love and care so much about each other but to have a history so complex and horrifying that they can't ever actually be friends anymore
so infuriating how kevjean is so doomed by the narrative... they can never be together... the love is there... but so is the history
aftg is the opposite of that one post that's like "love was there, it didn't change anything" because love was there and it changed everything. i will always appreciate nora for believing in her characters' right to find love and heal and get their second and third and fifth chance.