Port Mafia - Blog Posts

This collaboration is my favourite so far! Chuuya looks so badass and fancy, Kouyou is an absolute queen and somehow Odasaku looks elegant while still keeping his scruffy charm

I've been working on this for all my future soukoku's fanarts, so if someone else like to use it, you are free to use it for your art works <3. (btw, the app used to make possible this has the name of milanote, it's a free online tool so feel free too of using it as your own board!)

People joke about Dazai and Chuuya being romantically experienced or whatever, but I think it's the opposite. Chuuya doesn't know what that stuff is because Mori thinks it's funny

Hirotsu & fukuzawa besties>>>>

mori: this is top secret so don't tell anyone, especially from the agency, alliance be damned

hirotsu, awkwardly exiting out of his chat with fukuzawa where they were making fun of mori and he was telling fukuzawa about how mori was like in this particular meeting: of course sir, i would never

akutagawa, ending his call with atsushi, who he had been talking to when he got asked to come here and never bothered to hang up on <3: i understand. this is port mafia business strictly.

chuuya, still texting everything to his chuuya-kunikida-dazai groupchat (named dazai and his bitches until they stole his phone and changed it and is now untitled): sure thing boss

kajii, asleep: hmm lemon bombs

I don't know if anyone will see this and you prob dont know me but 🥲

Chuuya: If we were together every day, all day, if we slept together, if we woke up together and if we ate together what would we be?

Dazai: A master and his dog?

Chuuya:

Chuuya: NO.

Dazai: We're finally getting along. It's been 24 hours since the last time we fought. Isn't that great?

Chuuya: No, it isn't. We complete the missions faster when we're fighting.

Dazai: Quick then, say something annoying!

Chuuya: Thank you for inviting me to mackerel's wedding today, Kouyou.

Kouyou: Yeah no problem.

Chuuya: This is probably a stupid question, but who is Dazai marrying?

Kouyou: You. You’re the fiancé. This is your wedding with Dazai!

Chuuya: Wait, what?

Mori: There’s your officiant. This is your wedding ring. I suggest taking him somewhere far, far away for your honeymoon.

Kouyou: For a week! No, a month!

Hirotsu: Here’s some money, make it two!

Dazai, walking in: Oh! This is beautiful! Who’s having a wedding today?

*some years later*

Dazai: Atsushi, Akutagawa...

Atsushi and Akutagawa: Yes, Dazai.

Dazai: About the rumour...

Atsushi, Akutagawa: What rumour?

Dazai: Poetry.

Atsushi, Akutagawa:

Dazai: It's not what everybody thinks it is.

Akutagawa: I'm afraid explaining any further while in your partner's bed will only make matters worse, Mrs. Nakahara.

Dazai: Did you just call me Mrs. Nakahara?

Atsushi: It's best if you get used to it sooner than later.

Dazai:

Akutagawa, opening a door he shouldn't have opened: Dazai, Chuuya?

Dazai and Chuuya shocked, as their kissing session just got disturbed: Akutagawa?

Akutagawa, concerned: Is everything alright?

Dazai: It's perfectly fine.

Dazai: Chibi, tell him what we're doing.

Chuuya: We...

Chuuya: I'm teaching him some poetry.

Akutagawa: Poetry?

Dazai:

Dazai: Yes, I love poetry.

Akutagawa:

Chuuya: I'm surprised as you are. He can't get enough of it.

Akutagawa: I'll leave you to do your poetry then...

Akutagawa: *closes the door, regretting all his life decisions*

Chuuya: When I have a crush I don't kick my feet or twirl my hair. Chuuya: Instead I am in my kitchen at 3am pacing in circles with my hands clasped behind my back like a middle-aged divorced detective haunted by a cold case he just can't crack.

Akutagawa, opening a door he shouldn't have opened: Dazai, Chuuya?

Dazai and Chuuya shocked, as their kissing session just got disturbed: Akutagawa?

Akutagawa, concerned: Is everything alright?

Dazai: It's perfectly fine.

Dazai: Chibi, tell him what we're doing.

Chuuya: We...

Chuuya: I'm teaching him some poetry.

Akutagawa: Poetry?

Dazai:

Dazai: Yes, I love poetry.

Akutagawa:

Chuuya: I'm surprised as you are. He can't get enough of it.

Akutagawa: I'll leave you to do your poetry then...

Akutagawa: *closes the door, regretting all his life decisions*

Dazai: *on the phone* Hey, Chuuya~

Dazai: Do you know my blood type?

Chuuya: Of course, its AB.

Dazai: Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, nurse-

Atsushi: Dazai, have you ever thought of getting married ?

Dazai: *gay panic* I'm pregnant!

ada: What?

Dazai: It's Chuuya's.

ada: WHAT?

*meanwhile in the pm*

Chuuya, feeling a disturbance in the force: He said something that will get me into trouble, I can feel it!

Chuuya: Hey, if I ask you a boy question, will you promise not to be weird about it?

Kouyou: Come on, when have I ever been? Go on, tell me!

Chuuya: Well, Dazai--

Kouyou: You can do better!

Chuuya:

Chuuya: What are you doing?

Dazai, eating a cake at 3am in the bath with a knife: My best.

Dazai: And then Chuuya walked by ignoring me like I wasn't there.

Odasaku: Does he even know you like him?

Dazai: Idk, I've been ignoring him, been mean to him. What else can I do?

Odasaku:

Ango:

Odasaku: Sounds you've tried everything.

Chuuya: Here's the thing. So I've known for a while now that Dazai has a little crush on me...

Kouyou: A little crush?

Chuuya:

Kouyou: Well, I suppose so, in the same way Menelaus had a little crush on Helen of Troy.

Chuuya: Yeah, I don't rlly know who they are...and I don't care, so listen...

Chuuya: The point is Dazai isn't the kind of guy I usually go out with.

Kouyou: Darling, Dazai isn't the kind of guy anyone usually goes out with...

Dazai: My feelings for Chuuya are strictly platonic.

Ango: I see...What color are his eyes?

Dazai: Ocean blue, not in a weird way but in a way your ship can get lost in their waves and you’d never want to escape because it feels like an adventure and discovering new things in life...

Odasaku: Right...

Ango: What color are my eyes?

Dazai: Idk brown? Shut up Ango I'm talking about Chuuya.

Chuuya, during a mission: How are we gonna get out of this?

Dazai: Don't worry, I have a plan!

Chuuya: *sighs* Ah, the four words society fears most.

Dazai: When I was 15 I googled "two men kissing" on Mori's computer and when he asked me why that was in his search bar, I said "Idk, you tell me"

Dazai: and it worked.

*in a port mafia meeting*

Chuuya, looking down at 69 new guns Dazai bought: How did you pay for all of these again?

Dazai: I used your credit card, I memorized the number.

Dazai: It's 9481 6400 2--

Chuuya: *punches Dazai in the face so he stops talking*

Atsushi: Chuuya kissed you?

Dazai, staring woefully out of his window: Aha...

Atsushi: And you said thank you…?

Dazai: Yeah...

Atsushi: Well that was very polite of you.

*meanwhile*

Chuuya: Thank you?!?! WTF DOES THAT MEAN?

Kouyou: He’s stupid Chuuya you know that!

Ango: They say partners can never be just friends. It's always sexual.

Dazai: *scoffs* That's dumb. Look at me and Chuuya. There's nothing sexual between us.

Oda:

Ango:

Dazai: I don't get paid enough to deal with Mori. He describes me as "also gay for girls."

Chuuya: Yuck.

Chuuya, drunk: I mean Dazai is just an egotistical bitch who only cares about himself.

Kajii: Literally I just said I dont care.

Chuuya: And then he'll call me and try to see how my day was and he'll pretend to care about me and comment on my photos and laugh at my jokes and~

Hirotsu: Oh well, that's definitely your clue right there that it's all bullshit.

Chuuya: Ikr,

Chuuya: he's just a fake privilege asshole.

Odasaku, to Dazai, about Chuuya: What is a rival if not a crush you're mad about having?

Dazai: Chuuya and I don't use pet names.

Odasaku: I see. Hey, what do bees make?

Dazai: Honey.

*silence*

Dazai: Ha, you thought, bitch.

Chuuya, yelling from another room: What do you want, whore?

Dazai: I don't know what I feel about chibi.

Natsume, in his cat form: You fucking spend all day and night thinking of ways to annoy him, you call him with pet names, he's your partner in crime, you trust him to save you every fucking time you're in death's door, he's the reason you don't wanna die anymore and you don't know how you feel? Please, for fuck sake, you love him.

Dazai:

Natsume: I mean— meaw.

Chuuya, pointing to his leather pants on the bed: Which one of these bottoms would look the best on me?

Kouyou: Well considering none of them are Dazai I would say none.

Chuuya:

Kouyou:

Chuuya, turning all red: The literal fuck?

Dazai: You're wearing make-up???

Chuuya: Oh, it's just eyeliner. Do you like it?

Dazai:

Dazai: No it looks stupid...

*some moments later*

Dazai, sobbing into Odasaku's shoulder: It looked so good!!!

Odasaku: I know.

Dazai: I'm so gay...

Odasaku: *sighs* I know...