Su1c1dal - Blog Posts

shaving over my old scars feels so weird like blades of the razor are going over my scars without actually causing harm. does that make sense lol

can someone please tell me if the urge to relapse ever stops like when I'm 30 am I still going to be cutting myself 🙏🙏

“it’s your choice” “you have options” “you know what to do” actually i am very much not well and giving me a ‘choice’ that has no outcome that makes everyone feel good is making me wanna kms!!!

being iced tf out by people who ‘care’ and ‘love me’ and ‘understand me’ even though they don’t care to see that i’m literally at the lowest point of my life!!!

fake ass mfs made a whole separate gc to chat shit about me when i’m currently sitting in my bathroom wondering how many cvts i deserve today

i gave you one end of the string, now all you have to do is hold on and slowly let it unravel.

please, listen to the silent words and watch my eyes.

my life depends on you, love.

all these expectations. fuck you and fuck everyone else.

do what i want!!

no do what i want!!

nah bro what about what i fucking want. i can’t deal with this anymore. every outcome just ends up with me wanting to slice my wrists open, hang myself from the ceiling, jump from a bridge and EVEN THEN none of you would care.

“we didn’t even notice” man stfu i’m clearly losing my fucking mind and HAVE BEEN FOR YEARS.

lord just let this end, please. i’m begging with everything i have. please.

i’m such an unlovable piece of shit but god please just let me feel loved just one last time before the silence

will you notice my fat rolls if i split my wrists open and bleed out in the bathtub???

it’s fucking summer and here i am with my fat rolls hanging out in front of all these skinny people. i can’t stop staring. i wish that was me. someone just cut the fat off me i beg

i'm a disease. a lethal, deadly disease. everything i touch ends up ruined. i'm ruined and i'm ruining others. everyone would just be better off if i dropped dead.

i don't wanna speak, I don't wanna do any form of communication, I don't wanna type or write, I don't wanna talk. i don't wanna move. i don't wanna do anything.

again.

again.

again.

i just want to not exist, just wanna lay and rot, just wanna die.