Thomas Lightwood - Blog Posts
Matthew: Hey, do you know anybody that can teach me how to play the trumpet?
Thomas: Why do you need to learn how to play the trumpet?
Matthew: I wanna wander around and annoy Charles by playing it.
Thomas, thinking about how Charles mistreated Alastair: Technically you don’t need to know how to play it to do that.
Matthew: You have opened my eyes, Thomas
Matthew: My computer is broken
Thomas: Just give it to the IT guy
Matthew: Okay
Matthew, walking outside and tossing the computer into a sewer: Good luck
Christopher: I can’t believe that Britain is 1903 years old!
Matthew: You idiot, that’s how old Earth is
James: No way! :O
Matthew: I can’t believe you two didn’t know that!
Thomas, about to cry: They’re so fucking stupid
Christopher: I almost got surprise adopted yesterday
Thomas: What?
Matthew: He almost got kidnapped
Thomas: Oh, okay
Thomas: WAIT WHAT
Cordelia: I made a marshmallow Alastair, see? His arms are crossed because he’s mad at all the other marshmallows for annoying him. Do you like it?
Alastair, clearly emotional: It’s okay
Belial: I eat pieces of shit like you for BREAKFAST!
Thomas:
Matthew:
James:
Christopher, disturbed: … you eat pieces of shit?
Thomas: I want to show you a picture from last night that really upset me
Matthew: Okay, but in my defense, James bet me 3 pounds that I couldn’t drink all the shampoo
Thomas: That’s not what I wanted to-
Thomas: You drank SHAMPOO?
[TLH Group Chat]
Lucie: Hey guys, if you post your password in the groupchat it’ll block out!
Lucie: *******
Lucie: See?
Cordelia: That’s so cool!
Cordelia: *****
Matthew: heronchild4ever69
Matthew:
[Matthew has left the chat]
Police Officer: Turn around
Matthew: 🎵 Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you’re never comin’ round 🎵
Police Officer: TURN AROUND
Matthew: 🎵 Every now an-
Matthew: *gets tased*
Matthew: WELCOME TO FUCKING APPLEBEE’S, DO YOU WANT APPLES OR BEES?
Alastair: … Bees?
Matthew: HE HAS SELECTED THE BEES!
Alastair: Wait...
James, approaches them as he shakes a jar of bees: 😊
Alastair: wAit-
Anna: Yo, is that guy sleeping or dead?
Matthew: Hopefully dead, I hated that guy.
James: Yeah, so did I.
Alastair, laying on the floor: First of all, fuck you all-
James: I’m not scared of you! None of us are!
Christopher: I kind of am
James: Christopher, shut up!
The Merry Thieves: [searching the beach]
James: Sorry guys, looks like there’s no sand dollars left
Christopher: Can’t the ocean just make more of them?
Matthew: And cause inflation? Destroy the sand economy? By the angel, Christopher, use your head.
Thomas: I have a boyfriend now
Matthew, encouragingly: A boyfriend?
Thomas: [reflexively gives a panicked peace sign]
Matthew: TWO boyfriends?!
Kidnapper: I have one of your group members
Thomas: Oh, really?
Matthew, drunk in the background: IT’S ME, MATTHEW!
Thomas: You have the wrong number
Matthew: *looks over at James* Poke
James: *without looking up from his book* Poke
Matthew: Poke *pokes James on his cheek*
James: Poke *pokes Matthew on the arm*
Matthew: Poke!
James: Poke!
Matthew: POKE
James: POKE
*a poke war ensues that somehow ends up on the floor with Christopher on top thinking it was a hug party*
Thomas:
Thomas: WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING RIGHT NOW???
Alexander: I’m moving in to the attic.
Thomas: The attic?!
Alexander: Hey, at least it’s big. Dad said you used to live in a closet.
Christopher: People tell me I have a unique way to lighting up a room.
Thomas: That's called arson and those people are witnesses.
Alastair: Thomas, can you forgive me? Matthew forgave me.
Matthew, angry: Yeah, I can't wait for you to fall asleep tonight.
James: Where is Matthew?
Thomas: Well, apparently Matthew won a big award...
James: Nice try. The only person who'd believe that would be Matthew.
Christopher: He's in jail!
Thomas: Kit, what did I say?
Christopher: That it was only a matter of time?
Thomas, blushing: Okay, no, didn't say THAT.
Christopher and Thomas: *sing together*
Christopher: Wow, we sound amazing!
Thomas: I know. That was incredible. You know, we should do something with this.
Christopher: Yeah, maybe we could open up a mattress store!
Thomas: ...
Thomas: Or we could try singing?
Matthew: Jamie, what's that note?
Christopher: Bet it's from a girl in the lunchroom who wants a taste of corn dog.
Thomas: Was that a sex joke?
Christopher: It's...
Christopher: ...
Christopher: I don't know, shut up.
Alastair: Something tells me Matthew isn't crazy about me.
Thomas: Something tells me that too and it was him.
Alastair: It's Thomas' turn to be out in the world, interact with other grown-ups. While I get to stay home and plot the death of Dora the Explorer...
Alastair: ... fill her backpack with bricks and throw her into the Candy Cane River.
I don't know about y'all but girls who does necromancy>>>>>>>>
Petition to make Dancing with your ghost by Sasha Sloan Jesse×Lucie ship song 👉👈
Who's the hottest tsc character and why is it James Herondale.
James: I can't believe I commited arson.
Lucie: Me neither. Like you could have waited for me at least.