it is 11:40pm. i logically know that my friends are asleep and not deliberately ignoring me. does that stop the mean angry gnome in my brain from telling me they despise my existence in their lives? absolutely not
and the worst part is that the only person i have to talk to, is said mean angry brain gnome. 🙃
because everyone else is asleep. 🙃
am letting tumblr decide, should i get high on klonopin tonight? 👀👀
chat should i actually block every single one of my friends from my hometown and completely isolate myself in another province
weed does not fucking cut it at all anymore and im out of klonopin that means it is time to shed my skin suit and fly into the sun someone pls distract me lol
"read 2 hours ago" okay what if i just block you and you never hear from me again instead
is anyone else's mother a passive aggressive cunt for no reason or is it just mine
theres something about being called "buddy" by someone who used to call you their "babyboy" that really just stabs me 87 in the chest
might fuck around and get high on klonopin for the first time in awhile 👀
how the fuck do you make friends.
everyone else in my life gets to go hang out with their friends and go home to their partners and i hate it. i really hate to say that i hate seeing their happiness. it's not that i don't want them to b be happy and lead good lives, it's that im a fucking dumb jealous asshole.
everyone makes it seem like them and all of their friends just clicked together. there was no awkwardness at the start and everything just went so smoothly. meanwhile i can't get past the awkward small talk phase with everyone and it's completely discouraging. I dont want to end up alone. i don't wanna be forced into the shadows while i watch everyone else have a life besides me because i just flat out didn't deserve to have one.
tldr someone pls become unhealthily obsessed with me and i will offer the same in return
you know when you're talking to your friend who you also used to date and they're talking about their new love interests and it's all you can fucking do not to lose your shit and split on them and just listen and congratulate them because logically you love that person because they are your best friend and they also love you but shit just didn't work romantically between the two of you but now every time they talk about it you wanna put scissors in your ears because you feel so fucking lonely and disgusting and unworthy of the thing that everyone else has but you don't??
no me neither
if i see one more national boyfriend day post im throwing myself into traffic
i think all my friends want me to kill myself lol
literally all i want is someone who's excited to talk to me im tired of desperately sexualizing myself in the hopes that that'll come i just want to be loved and wanted lol
• Adam/Adrian (i am indecisive call me fuckface if you want idc)
• 21
• he/they
a vent blog or something idk there are many trigger warnings
if god doesnt to it, im taking matters into my own hands istfg
i hope this is my last year
Eating daisies, yellow paint,
Drinking water, taking pills.
Doing everything as I should
Following all the doctor's rules.
Working hard, walking often,
Happy wallpaper, pretty songs
I wrote my feelings in the notes app,
Going to therapy, watching birds.
I have a cat, have a roof,
Have a bed, have a girl.
I don't wanna be sad no more
But my mind has been made up for me.
The ball's not in my court, and I
Don't have hands anyways.
"It's all in your head" ok then why do I literally shake during my depressive episodes and get mega clumsy? Why do I have IBS flareups whenever my anxiety gets worse?