Tw Sui Ideation - Blog Posts

WAHHHH, I CANT TAKE BEING ALOONEEE, IF I DONT GET A PARTNER BY NEXT YEAR I'LL BE PUTTING MY HEAD INTO THE OVEN

10 days sober off klonopin and sh and all i wanna fucking do is relapse !! is it even fucking worth it to keep this up !! all i fuckin want is someone to talk to and be actual friends with but i guess that's impossible !!

am letting tumblr decide, should i get high on klonopin tonight? 👀👀

chat should i actually block every single one of my friends from my hometown and completely isolate myself in another province

weed does not fucking cut it at all anymore and im out of klonopin that means it is time to shed my skin suit and fly into the sun someone pls distract me lol

"read 2 hours ago" okay what if i just block you and you never hear from me again instead

might fuck around and get high on klonopin for the first time in awhile 👀

if i see one more national boyfriend day post im throwing myself into traffic

i think all my friends want me to kill myself lol

Ok can you guys tell me in the comments but am I a bad person for not reporting my friend to a teacher like I know I would hate it but I really care for my friend and I don't want to go back to school and them not being alive because of me i just feel like a shit friend and I don't know if I did the right thing.

I was telling you about how school is so draining that I dread getting up in the morning but you yelling at me to "clean my room"and"try harder"

What if the next time you see me I'm covered I'm my own blood with pills all around me would you tell me to "clean my room:

Gettimg a random burst of energy but I still wanna kms is so weird cause wdym I'm jumping around and acting silly but in my head I wanna die like what 😭

All I do is bleed

I bleed for you

I bleed for them

I bleed for her

I bleed for him

I bleed for me

All I am is a bleeding bloody mess

I feel my time is running out

something something politics are killing me

last night my dad told me that i shouldn’t be worrying about current events because there’s nothing i can do about anything.

this morning my mom told me that yes she knows that all of this terrible stuff going on affects me directly but i can’t let it get me down.

and then they literally ask me why i want to kill myself why i want to move out so bad why i am always so distant to them.

welp

were getting to the point where im ghosting ppl i love n care abt again

fuck

(chat, is it weird that i feel an attempt coming?)

im a bad person

i only hurt those around me

everyones lives would be better if i was dead

i only ruin things

i shouldve died a long time ago

i shouldve never made it this far

im not going to get further in life anyways

im going to die before im 20

either from su1cide or from my illness

i hope i die soon

everyone would be better off that way

(sooner or later im gonna sl1t my throat or ove3d0se on my meds or h4ng myself from a tree in my backyard)

if god doesnt to it, im taking matters into my own hands istfg

i hope this is my last year

i didnt care ( i slept with my mom for a week to make sure i woke up alive )

If this account goes inactive, I hope you all know I love you all even if I didn't really get to know you. This is Neelac, signing off.