137 posts
Barty was moping.
Again, he knows- him and Regulus had gotten into an argument again, and he knew he’d lost, but he liked the thrill of arguing- and he’d said some things he really shouldn’t have… but maybe Regulus would see how sorry he was by the way he was being so mope-y. Yeah, maybe- he was curled up in his four-poster, moodily skimming through his potions book- how does that not scream “I’m sorry please come back and love me so I don’t think you hate me”?
Regulus, on the other hand, was- rather haughtily, in Barty’s opinion- ignoring Barty, and playing wizard’s chess with Evan on the other side of the room. Barty gave a dramatic sigh… still nothing. Damn it. He was being so obvious about it, why wouldn’t Reg just forgive him already?
Barty had basically already apologized, with how much of a show he was giving about it- but clearly, Regulus wanted a real one. Damn him, making Barty do all the work.
“Castle to E5,” Regulus had been saying, just as Barty flopped down onto the ground behind him, shoving himself up against the Black’s back, his cheek smushed against in the back of his sweater. Barty’s sweater.
“I’m sorry.” He finally mumbled, rather pitifully.
Barty couldn’t see it, but he could definitely sense the smirk he just knew was plastered on Regulus’ face right about now.
“Sorry, Crouch, what was that? Couldn’t quite hear you.”
“I said, I’m Sorry.”
“For?”
Barty just huffed, going quiet for a moment. His fingers lightly traced Regulus’ spine through his clothes, from his neck to his tailbone, and back up.
“I’m sorry Regulus for saying you’re a teacher’s-pet…”
Barty finally muttered, poking the middle of Regulus’ back, just to punctuate.
Regulus was surely grinning by now, he loved it when-
“Even if you really are.”
Barty really shouldn’t have tacked that last bit on, as he quickly found himself flattened on the ground, because Regulus had decided to forcibly lean back, right on top of him.
“Bitch.”
“Twat.”
“…love you.”
“Love you too, Barty.”
Evan took that moment to finally butt in, cooing,
“Aww, you guys are so swee-“
It was safe to say that Evan didn’t get to finish his sentence, and there was ‘magically’ one pawn now across the room.
history - @rosekillermicrofic - word count: 179 - NSFW
"Fucking Merlin, Barty!" Regulus swore as his best friend appeared through the Floo unexpectedly, looking like he was in a rush.
"Yes, yes, you're so surprised," Barty drawled. "Except you can't be that much because you haven't cursed my prick off, so let's move on. Can I borrow Potter's old Quidditch jersey and one of your textbooks?"
As he asked, he was already striding over to one of the bookshelves and pulling Hogwarts, a History from the stacks.
"Why, pray tell, do you need those things?" Regulus asked, already dreading the answer.
"Because Rosie and I are going to roleplay as you and Potter," Barty replied, sending him a lewd grin and beginning to walk down the hall to Regulus and James's room. "The jersey's in the closet?"
Sighing, Regulus considered sending a hex toward his friend, or at least kicking him out. But honestly, this wasn't even on the list of the top ten most obnoxious things he'd done this month. "Wash it before you return it," he mumbled, turning back to the crossword he'd been doing.
"Ta!"
Everytime I see something about Bartylus, Prongsfoot, Moonwater, ect. And the comments are ‘aww so best friends so platonic 🥰’ I start gnawing at the bars of my enclosure
Barty: Chill bro, he's dating both of us. You're my boyfriend in law.
James: whAT
Bad: "I think a lot of people would expect me to pick Pangi first, but I feel like Pangi would like the idea of being a part of another team for a little bit. So, I might actually let- not pick Pangi at all and let Pangi have fun, just memeing about. You know what I mean? I might pick the person that I know the other team desires the most. Like, if I was picking selfishly, I would definitely pick Pangi to be on my team. Like if I was just like, wanted a team of people I know or like awesome to work with, blah blah, you feel me? I would be like Pangi! Would be my first choice. But, at the same point, I'll probably talk to Pangi about it, see what Pangi thinks cause Pangi would be my first choice." (paraphrase)
Like an Oleander.. white white leaves..
what the FUCK is in the air today with pangili “I am deeply in love with you” “yuri wins” “I’ve been pissing on the floors” “we’re a married couple” “did you just call me white?!?!?” “Pili I know you wanna kill yourself and all that but..” all in the span of a 2 min ros combo
The absolute cinema as Pangi TPs away from the castle with arrows thinking Pili doesn't care about him while at the same time Pili TPs closer to the castle worried about Pangi
Bad watching the Pili/Pangi tellanovela
if there’s one thing you can count on, it’s that when there’s drama badboyhalo will follow it like a shark scenting blood
pov youre pangi and youve just been broken up with by your tmasc catboy previous patient situationship and you went to go get blackout drunk, plan to kill everyone, and build a railgun and then your ex-situationship’s mortal enemy that you hate by proxy walks up to you and asks if you can do another therapy session for her and the entire time she talks about the guy who just broke up with you
Pangi: I know that, Pili. Because you can't kill me.
Pili: Are you sure about that?
Pangi: (takes off armor and totem) Go on.
Pili: I have the opportunity to do the funniest thing right now.
Pangi: Go on.
Pili: Wait. Where's my thing?.. Okay, how would you like to die?
Pangi: (sighs) However you'd like.
Pili: Why are you so quiet? Why are you so quiet?
Pangi: Here, I'll even put my bed here, you can kill me three times now. Go on. Do it.
Pili: You look so naked right now.
Pangi: Kill me! You said you could! You said you would! Do it! You said you would! I'm literally a one shot for you right now, Pili.
Pili: That's a crazy sentence to say.
Pangi: Is it wrong?
Pili: No... You know, maybe the Derapchu effect is real-
Pangi: No, nononono, where did your big talk go, Pili? Where did your big talk go? "I could kill you", "I would kill you", "Yeah, let's kill Pangi!", huh?
Pili: (starts punching Pangi with a fist) See, I'm doing it!
Pangi: Yeah, go for it!
Pili: Why do you have no knockback?
Pangi: I don't know.
Pili: Why do you have no knockback, this is not fun, I can't push you into the water. I can't push you into the water! This is not fun!
Pangi: So when are you going to kill me, Pili? I'm waiting.
Pili: Why are you so... suicidal? You are-
Pangi: No! Nononononono, don't make this about me, don't make this about me! You were just like "Oh, let's kill Pangi, let's kill Pangi!" Nono, this isn't about me. You were just a second ago "Let's kill Pangi, let's do it, let's do it, let's kill him, let's kill him, I would kill him, what if I join the yellow team? What if I kill him?"
Pili: (still punching Pangi with a fist)
Pangi: There you go, you're almost there, you're getting there, you're getting there. Fi- si- five hearts. Come on. You got it. You were like "I'm gonna kill Pangi, I'm gonna kill Pangi."
Pangi: But you can't.
Pili: (stopped hitting him, laughs, continues to hit him)
Pangi: But you can't.
Pili: It would be so funny if I killed you, wouldn't it.
Pangi: It would be really funny. Two hearts.
Pili: (stops hitting him) But you will also get really pissed off at me... (walks off)
Pangi: (chuckles) That's what I thought.
Pili: There’s an axe, there’s a shovel, but no pickaxe.
Pangi: [Sniggers] Hello, voice chat invite.
Pili: Pleaseeee…pleaseee..please make me a new pickaxe.
Pangi: Hey man!
Pili: OH, oh, uhm. Hey Pangi bro what’s up, can you make me a new pickaxe-
Pangi: [Cackling]
Bad: Hey, is there water falling thing down there.
Pili: Yeah there’s water.
Pangi: Yeah, of course Pili I’ll get you uh-
the insane powerplay of letting someone Almost kill you and saying no no go ahead. do it look ill respawn right here go ahead and finish me off you were talking big before now follow through. and then being Right . pangi the man that you are
Pili: Nooooo, my only ally... I'm so sad
Aimsey: He's like totes dead, man.
Pili: Now me and Pangi are gonna be alone, together, just the two of us, no more Bad, just the two of us... This is so sad....
Aimsey: [...] Okay... Anyway...
Foolish: That little dirt island thing, that's Pangi's house. I dont know if that's still his current house or old, I don't really know-
Pili: No he lives with me. Under a hole. 24/7, we just (?). All day, yup.
Foolish: Well there we go, little update on that one.
Pangi: guys i need to do my essay i cant build to orbital strike cannon
also pangi as soon as pili tells him to wake up early to build: ok ill wake up at 7 am
Bad: "If you were stuck on a deserted island with Pili, and you were starving, do you think you would eat him?"
Pangi: "Wow- I- No, I don't think I would eat Pili, I don't think I could."
Bad: "So, you won't eat him, that means you don't consider Pili a real friend."
...
Pangi: "Are you trying to normalize cannibalism, Badboyhalo?"
Bad: "Cannibalism?"
...
Pangi: "You- you know I'm a human, right? I'm flesh and bone."
Pili from out of nowhere who's been silent this entire time: "So you're a furry!"
tr!Pangi thought tr!Pili wanted to dance with him 😭 poor guy...
Pangi: [Mocking Pili] Hey Pangi can you please make some more furnaces.
Pili: Oh sure, sure. Heyyy, Pangi. Pangi, heyyy. Hey. Can you look at me?
Pangi: Yeah I’m looking.
Pili: Can you pleaseeee, please please, make some furnaces, pleaseee can you help me please?
Pangi: Yeah, I already have some furnaces.
Pili: WHAT?
Pangi: Yup. Yup. No problem Pili, no problem. You know that’s what happens when you ask nicely.. You look like such a soggy cat right now, oh my god.
Pili: SHUT UP! Shut up, shut up, shut up.
Pangi: [Laughing]
god bbh, pangi and pili are the best trio ever like they are so fucking bloodthirsty and also deeply silly
they chat about how to murder everyone in the server while sipping their homemade chocolate milk
If I had a nickel for every time someone's chat has gone "are we interrupting?" upon seeing Pangili all up in each other's faces,,,,
Ros: Do you even have like, a family?
Pili: No. I am his family.
Pangi: That hits a little close to home, Ros.
Ros: Sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry- [Giggles] Oh no, I feel bad..
Pangi: [Laughing] No, it’s ok! It’s ok.
Pili: It’s ok, it’s ok, you know why? I am his family!
Ros: Awh- Oh..Aww!
Pangi: Yep! Mhm!
Pili: Yup, us furries we stick together.
Pangi: Im not a furry! I’m not a furry! I’m not a furry Ros.
Ros: You know what, you’re valid, you’re valid for that!
Pangi: Valid for what-?
Ros: What am I? Am I a fruit, I’m just a cucumber! (it’s not in this clip but Pili called her a fruit cake)
Pangi: Can you give us some of your wisdom, you mythical cat?
Pili: My wisdom is…everyone, is gay!
Pangi: FUCKKKK, NOOOO!!
Aimsey: Pg, PG, PG!!
Pangi: Oooops..sorry Ros! Aimsey: Do you not know the new rule? If you swear in front of a PG streamer, they get to kill you. That’s what Toby said.
Pangi: [SCREAMS] NO, NO. IM SORRY!
Ros: [Laughing] Calm down Pangi, calm down!
Pangili just existing and doing their thing while Aimsey becomes more homophobic the second /j
Pangi : Pili this morning dmed me chat, "Pangi do you want to have fun fun time with me today brewing potion with me. You know, it will be fun, it will be awesome FUN"
Pili : Actually, I'm pretty sure that was not how I wrote the message. I'm pretty sure I was being more mean than that
Pangi : Yeah, no, you were like, "You gotta log on"
Pili : You sugarcoated it a little bit, I'm gonna read it hold on
Pangi : Okay. Read it out, read it out !
Pili : Okay, so I basically said. Wait, hold on, let me scroll up, I said :
"Hey dude, just letting you know tomorrow you're on potion duty. You're gonna help my ass get to 100, you have no other option, see you later."
And then, huh, a dot [Roster noise] at the end
Pangi: Welcome back, welcome back!
Pili: Oh my god, so clingy! That’s crazy.
Pangi: [Laughs]
Pili: Hey man, I was muted, ok? I had to mute my mic. Don’t panic, I’m still here.
Pangi: Ah, I got scared Pili! I thought you hated me!
Pili: [Talking over] Scared that I fell down and died?
Pangi: Uh- Yeah! Yeah. 100% that’s what I was talking about, mhm!
bbh the biggest pangili truther