117 posts
Latest Posts by kelvari - Page 2
you know it really isnt immoral, if you do it right, to raise cows and sheep for meat. so. well. i think there should be a story about, vampires who have a town of humans that they keep well-maintained, so long as the humans donate their blood once a month, like vampire blood farm stuff
but instead of antagonistic everyone's like. no he's a nice man you leave the count alone. he keeps us safe and cared for and he just needs a lil snack now and then, it dont hurt anyone. like a cow that loves the farmer and the farmer that loves the cow, even with both knowing one will end up on the other's table. because its like. its like. cows just have such pretty eyes, you know? they love you so much. i think it should be like that
Do you think the PJO Demigods, when they are allowed to use social media, are as obsessed with Epic as the rest of us?
Or do you think that College age Percy and Crew are secretly working with Jorge in making Epic?
Because, just imagine Percy just randomly appearing in Atlantis, walking up to his dad, and randomly asking "so what do you think of the Manwhore AU?"
And Poseidon is just utterly confused.
Jason collects stickers. He doesn't really use them, to scared to waste them. A habit from his childhood..his mother would always give Jason the sticker from her chewing gum, that she tried to use to get over her smoking addiction.
He has a whole sticker book, for his favorite stickers. Somethimes it's these fruit stickers, the ones he gets from the fruit a kind and grateful grandma will give him after helping her, or the sticker a street kid will hand him, like a good job treat. Or a sticker damian made in art class.
Dick of course, feeds into that addiction for jason. He finds out about jason having a hobby, and having a reserved spot for his favorite stickers.
He wants to make it to the favorite spot.
So he looks for stickers, like a bird does for sticks for a nest, or a pebble, just the perfect ones.
He goes and hands them to jason, like a dog will hand a big ol stick for their human to throw.
Jason was confused at first, because why is dick handing him stickers all the time? At first it were silly cat ones. He likes them, so they go to the box of silly animal stickers. Then he gets car themed ones. They are nice, he puts them to the transportation ones.
Dick, evrey week, asks to see jasons favorite sticker book collection, saying he just wants to see what made it on the list today.
dick is confused and frustated and how his never make the cut.
So dick just gave up with that. He didn't want jason to think that he was going distant with him, so he continued to hand him stickers evrey now and then, and ask to see his favorite stickers collection.
The other bats of course want stickers aswell. So one day, dick buys a sticker sheet with "god job!" "Great job!" "You are a star!" Ones,
Like praises for missions gone well.
The others don't really love stickers the same way as jason might, and dick knows. So he just sticks it to their forehead, or amor, like a joke. But hands it to jason carefully, so he can do whatever he wants with it.
One Friday, at the bar, dick looks over jasons collection.
To see his "God job!" Sticker, at the front page.
It made the cut.
No, Dick grayson made the cut.
because being himself was enough.
Mystery Inc. meet Holmes and Watson!
I am having a lot of fun with this Victorian Scooby Doo au!!
AU where in order to be able to secretly hang out with his favourite league bro, after he gets to Gotham Damian creates a second secret identity which is literally just him in a voice modulated motorcycle helmet so he can be Red Hood’s occasional sidekick without the bats knowing it’s him, except the issue is that Damian has a lot of ‘old man’ energy surrounding him. from his weirdly mature posture, his manner of speaking, to the odd knowledge he possesses that a child of his age should NOT have; when you can’t see any part of his head, theres pretty much nothing pointing towards the fact that he’s a little kid. this leads to Hood’s subordinates instantly assuming that Hood’s sidekick is not, infact, a child, but instead a very small man/somebody with some kind of dwarfism.
Jason honestly isn’t sure whether or not he should correct his men, because on one hand its kinda funny to watch Damian awkwardly interact with this group of people who clearly think he, like them, is some 30yr old geezer with a possible wife and kids at home, not to mention its a secret identity for a reason he doesn’t want to leak information for no reason-
but on the other hand they keep offering his kid brother beers and cigarettes. which.
Goon: hey man, you see the game last night? fucking wild.
Damian, spent last night letting Tim teach him how to play with Pokémon cards but doesn’t want to seem immature: …yes. i did, indeed, watch that game.
Goon 2: fucked up that that last play wasn’t called out; the bar practically rioted. hey you should come with us next week for the next game, let us buy you a beer or somthin. Hood tags along with us sometimes, should be fun!
Damian:
Jason, struggling not to laugh:
Damian:
Damian: i have prior engagements.
Goon 1: haha, let me guess, your s/o dont want you out late?
Damian:
Damian, leaning in to Jason to whisper: what… what is an ‘s/o’
Jason, coughing to cover laughter: they uh, they think you got a wife or a husband waiting for you at home.
Damian:
Damian, turning back to the goons: i… have no idea what to say right now.
Jason: *pats him on the shoulder* alright buddy, you go finish up the weapons shipment, dont worry.
Jason to the goons, after Damian leaves: recently divorced, sore subject.
the goons: *empathetic hums of understanding*
~
Goon: here man, have a drink to take home with ya *tries to pass Damian a bottle of whiskey*
Damian: um.
Damian: *slowly edging forward to hesitatingly take the bottle, for lack of knowing what else to do*
Jason, bellowing from across the warehouse: OI!
Damian: *freezes, bottle in hand*
Goon:
Damian:
Damian: *slowly, ashamed, passes the bottle back*
Jason: THATS WHAT I THOUGHT.
Goon: uhm…
~
Goon: hey, boss? why wont you let the new guy drink?
Jason:
Jason, doesn’t want to out Damian’s identity: he’s a recovering alcoholic. im his sponsor.
Goon:
~
Damian, on the way back to Jason’s apartment: Todd.
Jason: mm?
Damian: one of your men asked if i had any chiropractor reccomendations for back pain.
Jason: *bites lip*
Damian: how old do they think i AM?
Jason:
Jason: i may have implied somewhere in your fifties.
Damian:
Damian: WHY WOULD-
Jason: IT SEEMED FUNNY.
I just think Shang Qinghua should get so angry one time that he unconsciously overrides the System and unlocks Admin privileges and just deletes entire clans out of existance in the blink of an eye while going "writing you in was a mistake".
And I also think everyone who saw that refuses to ever talk about it, but they're all scared shitless of the tiny human by Mobei-jun's side now because they realize he's not just really smart and an amazing strategist, he's also a god and can kill them all in 0.5 seconds. And now they all think that Shang Qinghua is actually the one running the show and Mobei-jun is just, like, the face of the Northern kingdom only.
Shang Qinghua is utterly horrified when he snaps out of it and realizes what he's done (somehow??? He doesn't know wtf just happened) and how now everyone is terrified of him except for Mobei-jun who is just looking at him with heart in his eyes lmao
I absolutely love the genre of posts of Damian making up an excuse of how he knows of a Jason Todd to hide the fact he is alive and knew each other in the LOA.
For my take Jason Todd is now the name of the pet fox Damian has at home.
Damian under his breathe: Jason Todd you are the biggest fool to ever live.
Dick magically hearing him: What did you say Damian? Jason??
Damian panicking: I-I uh Jason Todd is the name of my pet fox.
Tim: You have a pet fox?
Dick: You named it Jason... Todd?
Damian: Yes... I was learning English at the time and thought it was amusing to call an animal a name that meant itself. Of course he needed a first name so I named him Jason as I had recently finished the Argonautica.
Not wanting to question his new brother Dick: That's very cute Damian 😀
Once Bruce hears about it.
Bruce: Damian why don't you ask your mother to bring your fox... Jason over?
Damian: uhhh no. He is quite old and would not do well with the long trip. He is very comfortable back home and I do not think he would like any of you.
Jason on the other side of Gotham sneezing.
Later in a safehouse.
Damian: Todd I need you to acquire a fox and send it back home to mother so that I have photo evidence.
Jason: What?
Damian: I may have accidentally send your name in the presence of Grayson and then fabricated a lie that I was referring to my pet fox named Jason Todd.
Jason sighing: What type?
Damian: A melanistic fox. To match your choice in hair color.
-🐳
THIS IS SO FUNNY. batfamily are absolutely concerned and freaking out on the background, which Damian is not aware with—
Dick: that's so scary. why would he name his fox like that? is that what kid do now?
Bruce: ...maybe Talia told him stories of our family, so he wouldn't feel alienated once he joins us, and he took an inspiration?
Tim: oh, come on. had you guys never had a weird obsession with your predecessor and just formed a strange unhealthy connection with him to the point of creating tulpa?
Dick: what.
Bruce: ?
Tim: uhh, anyway. i had seen Damian chatting with Jason Todd contact on his phone. but that's probably these character ai chats, yk?
Bruce and Dick: ?????
*a few weeks later*
Damian, calling Jason in panic: i demand you to work on your revenge plan FASTER.
Jason, in the Red Hood attire, slurping slushie, while playing Uno with his goons: gee, what happened this time?
Damian: i am waiting for my appointment to the child psychologist as we speak.
Jason: excuse me?
Damian: they think you are my... tulpa. whatever that means.
Jason: *dies out of laughter*
Free Me From These Shackles
The first time the JL met Marvel was during an alien invasion in Metropolis. The hero was new, and quite cheery whenever they interacted with him. He was like Superman 2.0., but more red and somehow more of a Boy Scout. In fact, speaking of Superman, the meshed together like peanut butter and jelly. Anyways, back to the point, when they first met him he was new and seemingly, emphasis on seemingly, naïve and inexperienced.
So, they tried to help him, much to Billy’s hidden annoyance. And he was annoyed! He won’t deny that. They were treating him like a newbie!
Like, the time Superman came to Fawcett and started critiquing every single thing he did in a fight against Captain Nazi.
Marvel and Captain Nazi(CN): *fighting*
Supes: *just hovering to the side*
CN: *throws a car*
Marvel: *catches it and puts it down*
Supes: “You know, you could’ve thrown that back at him?”
Marvel: “What?” *gets distracted and last minute dodges a punch, proceeds to fly far away from Captain Nazi*
Supes: *follows after him* “I’m saying you could’ve thrown the car back at him. Or the lamppost he threw you earlier. Or the hotdog stand.”
Marvel: “Why would I do that?”
CN: *flying after him*
Marvel: “What if he breaks it? That’s someone’s stuff. Or what if he deflects it? Property damage can kick your behind. How do you not know that?”
Supes: “Does your city not pay for it? Then again…”
…he was new, Clark thought. It would make sense for the city not to cover him yet.
Marvel: “What? Why would they? Wouldn’t that mess up taxes?”
Supes: “Now that I think about it, it really should.”
Clark was amazed as to how his taxes or rent never went up, no matter how much destruction happened in Metropolis.
Or the time Batman tried helping him diffuse a bomb even though Billy has had plenty experience already. They were at an alien site and trying to diffuse an alien bomb though so he supposed he could give him the benefit of the doubt.
Even if it was annoying.
Marvel: *squats down and rips off bomb lid*
Batman: “Careful.”
Marvel: “Careful what?” *looking at a bunch of wires*
Batman: *peers over his shoulder* “We don’t have enough informa—”
Marvel: “Uh huh uh huh.” *barely listening and snaps a blue wire with his fingers*
Solomon: *blabbling instructions*
Batman: *startles and jumps back*
Marvel: *gives him a look before snapping another two wires*
Batman: *baffled at how they aren’t literally dead, and wondering if Billy’s run into this tech before*
Marvel: *snaps one more wire and bomb powers off* “Alright.” *stands back up* “Man, I am starving. Your city has his joint called Bat-Burger, right? Is it good?”
Batman: “…Yes.” *somehow had a blank face but still conveying that he thinks Marvel is crazy*
Billy honestly didn’t know why he thought so. Sivana’s had more complicated stuff fit for random Tuesdays instead of long, dastardly plots or invasions.
Free Billy from these shackles of people thinking he’s a newbie as if he hasn’t done this longer than them.
Phantom Manor
Danny had been through a lot. He’d been half-killed in a lab accident, gained ghost powers, and then been chased through the multiverse by a government that would’ve loved to dissect him like a frog in eighth-grade biology. So when the portal spat him out into this dimension—one packed with capes, cowls, metas, and aliens—he figured he’d finally caught a break.
No GIW agents. No Fenton parents shouting about ectoplasmic anomalies. No Skulker showing up to hunt him down in the middle of English class. Just... peace.
Well, almost.
The major snag? He was homeless. Again.
No ID, no money, and the last place he tried to haunt had been a warehouse with exactly three raccoons who did not appreciate his presence. He couldn’t go back to school, didn’t know how to get a job, and sleeping on rooftops got old fast, even for a ghost boy.
That was when Danny heard the most ridiculously useful rumor ever: Billionaire Bruce Wayne had a habit of adopting black-haired, blue-eyed children like it was a competitive sport.
And Danny? Well, he had black hair and blue eyes... at least half the time.
Good enough for government work.
So one night, in the dead of moonlight, Danny phased through the locked gates, passed the high-tech security system, and slipped straight into Wayne Manor. The place was huge, quiet, and oddly comfortable despite its bat-themed overtones. He didn’t even try to sneak around like a spy—he just floated through until he found an empty bedroom with a made bed, thick curtains, and a view of the garden.
He claimed it.
No one said anything.
So Danny just... stayed.
Danny didn’t mean to con anyone. It’s just that no one noticed him. He figured maybe there were already so many black-haired, blue-eyed kids around here that adding one more didn’t even make a blip on the radar. And since Jack and Maddie Fenton may not have taught their kids about interdimensional politics, they did make sure their kids had proper manners.
So, the first time he ate in the massive kitchen, he washed the dishes afterward. Alfred showed up just as Danny was drying the last fork, his sharp eyes watching from the doorway.
“...I see Master Grayson’s taste in midnight snacks has rubbed off on someone,” Alfred remarked.
Danny froze. “Uh—yeah. Sorry. Just thought I’d clean up after myself.”
The butler narrowed his eyes. Then nodded. “A rare instinct in this household. Continue.”
And from then on, it became a routine.
Danny helped in the kitchen. He helped clean the manor. He weeded the garden (phasing out any actual creepy-crawlies). He carried laundry baskets. He repaired a broken picture frame. When one of the Batmobiles needed a patch-up job on a fin, Danny phased into the engine and fixed it from the inside out while humming along to an old Ghostbusters theme remix.
Alfred was absolutely delighted with the newest, polite, respectful, and hard-working “Wayne.” Even if he had no earthly clue when exactly this young man had joined the family.
It took a few weeks before anyone realized something was off.
“Alfred,” Bruce said over breakfast one morning, “why is there an unfamiliar teenage boy pressure-washing the back patio with what looks like... green plasma?”
Alfred sipped his tea without looking up. “That’s Master Daniel. He’s been most helpful.”
“…We don’t have a Master Daniel.”
Alfred finally looked up, deadpan. “Master Bruce, I have tolerated you bringing home orphans like stray cats in the rain. The boy helps clean. He gardens. He fixed the coffee machine. I will not be chasing him out. Adopt him, give him a room, or be quiet about it.”
Bruce blinked. “...Fair.”
Meanwhile, Danny was just glad he hadn’t been blasted with a Batarang on sight.
He had a bed, food, quiet (well, relatively), and access to the Wayne library’s wi-fi. He was pretty sure Damian glared at him more than necessary and that Jason kept trying to figure out if Danny was secretly a zombie, but otherwise?
He was kind of fitting in.
At least until someone walked in on him halfway intangible while reaching through the fridge for leftover pie.
“…Master Daniel,” Alfred said from behind him, entirely unshaken. “If you are going to help with the silverware later, do remember to phase after you wash your hands.”
Danny, still half inside the fridge, stared.
“…Yes, sir.”
And thus, somehow, without anyone signing a single form or asking too many questions, Danny Fenton became the most ghostly Wayne sibling yet.
And honestly?
He was kinda cool with that.
Cults Galore
Cults. If the JL had a nickel for every cult dedicated to Marvel they’ve found, they’d have two nickels. Don’t get them wrong, it’s not a lot, but it’s still concerning.
Aquaman, Green Lantern, and Marvel were sent to an alien planet. They needed to establish peaceful contact with the people there. That was the goal. So why? Why in the Gods’ names are the people here all tatted up with lightning bolts suspiciously similar to Marvel’s. Why are they calling Marvel Thavma? And most importantly, why are the three being lead to some type of shrine?
Hal: “Hey uh… I’m sorry to ask, but what does this shrine you told us about have to do with the treaty you need to sign?”
Alien Leader: “They are sacred grounds.”
Hal: “Okay…?”
Alien Leader: *continued to lead them until they came upon a bunch of people petrified into stone. The people were placed in a circle, in the middle was a grand shrine*
Aquaman: “What’s with all the statues?”
Alien Leader: “Statues- ah yes. The statues.” *looks to Marvel* “We’ve all kept them preserved just for you. Just in case that of off chance you decided to grace us with your presence again. And would you look at that? It paid off.”
Marvel: *awkwardly smiles at the Alien leader*
Alien Leader: *looks back ahead*
Marvel: *elbows Aquaman and starts speak in Atlantean* “This guy’s creepy.”
Aquaman: *responds in Atlantean* “I know.”
Hal: “What’d you guys say?”
Marvel: *switches back to English* “We’ll tell you when we get back to the ship.”
*awkward silence of following the Alien Leader*
Aquaman: “So… The statues. You make em or something?”
Alien Leader: “No no no. They’re all soldiers of the people who used to oppress our kind. They were petrified by our very lord themself during the uprising.” *looks over to Marvel* “Do tell me you remember?”
Marvel: *searches though memories and finds out a previous champion had done all of this* “I do.” *looks literally anywhere but Hal and Arthur*
Hal and Aquaman: *immediately share a look*
Later…
Marvel, Hal, and Arthur: *all at a burger joint eating in civvies*
Arthur: “I don’t get it. How do you just fail to mention that you petrified an entire army?”
Marvel: *shrugs* “I kinda forgot.”
Hal: “How do you just forget that? Also, you guys never told me about what you guys were saying. Are you guys gonna spill the beans now or what?”
Marvel: “What are you talking about?”
Hal: “When you elbowed Arthur?”
Marvel: “Ohhhh that.”
Arthur: “We were just talking about how the guy was creepy.”
Hal: *nods head* “True dat. True dat.”
Then there was the second cult. This one’s human though, don’t worry. This cult was found by Marvel, Batman and Robin.
Marvel: “I thought you just said this was just a cult. Not a cult for me.” *looking around at the various tapestries with his lightning bolt symbol*
Robin!Damian: “What makes you think it’s for you?”
Marvel: *gestures to the lightning bolt on his chest, then to the other lightning bolts on the decor of the place*
Batman: “They were worshiping someone named Keraunos.”
Robin!Damian: “And unless your name is Keraunos, it’s not for you.”
Marvel: “I’ll have you know it’s actually one of my names.” *walks until he stops in front of a fountain*
Robin: “You can’t be serious. Why would they worship you of all people? There’s hardly anything of value to worship in the first place.” *follows after him and stops near the fountain too*
Marvel: “Should I be offended by that?” *looks down at the water* “Geez, were they drinking electricity charged water? Normal humans cannot do that.”
Batman: *also walks over and kneels down slightly to read a plaque* “This plaque says the water was blessed by you.”
Marvel: “Uuuhhhh… No it isn’t.” *sticks a finger into the water* “This is just normal electricity.”
Robin: *tries to stick his own finger in*
Batman: *swats Damian’s hand away* “Regardless, what’s causing the electricity?”
Marvel: *puts some of his own lightning into the water*
Batman, Robin, Marvel: *hear something short fuse and look to see something off to the side smoking*
Marvel: “Probably that.”
i’ve been on a damian-jason brotherhood kick lately but specifically like. weirdly close damian and jason. codependent to the point where it’s starting to get on the rest of the family’s nerves. they’re used to relying on each other in the league and now that they’re in gotham together they just revert back to their oddly dependant ways and everybody else just watches them coexist in slightly jealous fascination.
-jason tastes every piece of food damian is given to check for poison. even if alfred makes it. its not even a belief that damian could be poisoned, it’s just second nature and damian’s used to handing over a small bite and waiting for the nod to go ahead and eat.
-damian uses jason’s body like a climbing frame whenever he feels like it. they don’t exchange words half the time, he just decides he wants to sit on jason’s shoulders so that’s where he puts himself. jason’s used to being halfway through making himself a coffee and suddenly having to readjust his weight, or hold out an arm so damian can use it as a branch to climb up with. they don’t even notice they do it.
-jason picks damian up from school every day. they go out afterwards just the two of them and never bother inviting the others to eat with them. dick has literally ran into them when they by chance ended up in the same cafe and he watched the two pick a booth as far away from him as possible.
-when people are checking for if jason is around the manor they don’t even bother calling for him, they just ask if damian’s home or not, because if damian isn’t home then jason won’t be either.
-damian knows how to cook exactly one dish and it’s jason’s comfort food.
-one time damian crashed the fuck out at school and refused to come out from under a table, and when the teachers eventually gave up and called his guardian to help handle him, bruce just sighed and said ‘you want his brother’s number, i’ll email you it.’
-damian only ever falls asleep on jason. one time after he fell asleep next to jason on the couch, jason got up to grab a drink and when he got back tim had taken his spot, so he sat on an armchair instead. seven seconds later damian woke up, kicked tim in the side like a rabbit, moved to the armchair with jason, and fell asleep again.
-duke once saw jason tie damian’s shoelaces because damian didn’t want to pause reading a case file to do them himself
-Damian: can somebody help me reach this shelf?
Dick: sure i can-!
Damian: no.
Dick:
Damian: *stares at Jason pointedly*
Jason: ……yeah ok. coming.
Dick:
-one time alfred asked if anyone needed anything from the store and damian declared ‘todd needs new socks.’ and jason just went ‘oh do i?’ and when damian nodded he said to alfred ‘yeah i could do with a pack of socks?’
-jason has kept all of damian’s baby teeth. they’re in a tin kept under his ammo stash.
just those two having a connection that continuously baffles yet resigns the family to the fact that they have to deal with those two codependent idiots 24/7
the batfam clocked that something might up regarding Jason’s death because when Damian came to Gotham he spoke like a victorian school boy 98% of the time UNLESS he was in a passionate debate/argument with somebody, at which point he would for some baffling reason unknowingly slip into a thick Crime Alley accent complete with slang terms and insults/sayings that the family have only ever heard spewed from Jason’s mouth. it blindsides them every fucking time and Damian doesn’t even realise he does it, just subconsciously picking up traits from his big brother back at nanda parbat without noticing.
Cousins, Clones and Conning the Family
Family Reunion AU, where cousins Maddie and Clark try to smuggle their clone children into the family reunion that happens every 5 years and pretend they've been there the whole time.
Spoiler alert, one of them does significantly better than the other. Mainly Kid POV, and also on AO3! Multichapter. ===
The problem with big family reunions, Danny thinks, is how utterly fucking lost Danny is all the gosh dang time.
"Well now, you're Maddie's son now ain'tcha? How old is you now?" The woman standing before him guffaws, ruffling his hair. He lets it, trying desperately to remember the speadsheet Jazz created for the family and (obviously) failing to recall this woman's name.
Agatha? Selene? Riri? No, Aunt Riri is over there—
"Yes ma'am," Danny smiles up at the unnamed aunt, accent going a little twangy like it always does at these functions, "I'll be hittin' 17 in a coupl'a months or so."
"My, my, you youngin's sure grow like weeds!" The aunt coos, gesturing to a height by her hip, "You used to be this tall last time I saw ya, betcha don't r'member me now do ya?"
It's a trap. If he says he doesn't remember, which is expected at reunions such as these that happen every 5 years or longer, she'll start going on and on about the stories she has of the family. Danny would have to stand here and demure and laugh at these cousins he doesn't really remember too well, but know enough to know that she's gotten them all mixed up.
"Pshaw," Danny doesn't react when a whisper breathes the answer into his ear, "I'd never forget a pretty lady like you, Aunt Helena!"
It works like a charm.
The second he's out of her clutches, he feels around for a cold spot. There, trailing just behind him, is Ellie. She's not invisible anymore, so he tucks her under his arm and bee-lines it towards the metaphorical kid's table.
"Thanks, Ellie. Weren't you supposed to stay with Dad?" Danny leads them around, trying to avoid any other mishaps. "Did Jazz send you?"
"She made me flashcards!" Ellie smirks up at him, ignoring his other question and pulling a corner of an index card out from the palm of her hand. She's always been better than him at manipulating the ecto in her body, for obvious reasons. Danny's not bitter about it at all.
"Damn, all I got was a presentation." Danny grumbles. Jazz and Dad somehow know every single one of their family members, which is ludicrous when even Mom doesn't know despite it being her side of the family.
He still can't really believe how big his family actually is, but he supposes that's natural. He only sees them once every couple of years, the only relative they see even on a remotely regular basis is Aunt Alicia, who has no kids and refuses (rightfully so) to remarry.
Danny's fine with that, he gets the best of both worlds after all. Cozy holiday stays with Aunt Alicia and he has places to stay all over the country if he really needs it, no questions asked.
Plus, crazy as they can be, these reunions have always felt like a big country festival for Danny.
"She likes me better." Ellie snickers, tugging him back to avoid Uncle Charlie's drunken stumbling.
"Everyone likes you better," Danny rolls his eyes, pushing Ellie's head down and ducking to avoid a stray kid's toy flying overhead, "I like you better."
As if somehow knowing Danny's being self deprecating again, Jazz shows up to smack him on the head. "I like both of you equally in special ways."
Danny makes a disgruntled noise, grumbling as he rubs his head, "Mooooom, Jazz is therapizing me again!"
Even though he was only half joking, Mom does show up specifically to laugh at him. "Honey, your father and I love all our children equally!"
"It's a secret," Dad says from behind Jazz, kids climbing all over him, "But Ellie's the favorite!"
"Jack!" Mom yells at the same time Jazz screams, "Dad!"
Ellie dissolves into giggles, making everyone but Dad helplessly laugh. It's good to see Ellie laugh, she does it a lot but it still doesn't feel like it's enough. Danny picks her up, giggling mess and all, and tosses her at Dad.
She lands, as expected, straight into the pile of children who scream and accept her easily.
"Nice." Jazz chuckles, this time patting him gently on his head in approval. Danny shrugs, dusting his hands off and heading back towards salvation: the food.
He and Jazz mingle a bit, exchanging greetings and school updates with the Aunts and Uncles they occasionally bump into, making their way slowly through and keeping an eye out for the other cousins.
Eventually, Jazz gets nabbed by Cousin Dermot just as Danny reaches the table, tossing a pig-in-a-blanket into his mouth and chewing with glee. The locals of the family usually something potluck style—and though Dad's genes are strong and the Fentons can't cook, the bulk of the Walker family definitely can.
In fact—Great Aunt Martha said she was going to bring some mini pies right?
Danny spies a pile of them in the middle of the large table and reaches for one, only to bump into the spikes of black fingerless gloves.
The gloves are, of course, attached to someone else.
It's a boy, around Danny's age, in a spiked leather jacket (matching the gloves) and white tee shirt with ripped jeans. He's got the tiniest John Lennon sunglasses and piercings everywhere—it makes Danny squint at him, with how much the sun keeps catching on everything—the spikes, the piercings, the metal arms of the sunglasses, is this dude also wearing lipgloss?
Danny's not judging, a guy can appreciate proper hydration to avoid chapped lips or even just for the aesthetic, but it doesn't help with the glare.
"Sorry, my bad." Right, okay, city slicker then. Not that Danny's much of a country boy or anything. "Did my spikes get you?"
Maybe Cousin Jenny brought a plus one? Danny eyes the guys jeans—they look tight. Was Cousin Mark into guys? Is this dude a guy or possibly a masculine girl? Ack. Stupid sun frying his brain.
"It's okay," Danny says, blinking away and tossing mini pie to the other person. "Aunt Martha's pies are worth the minor injury. You comin' in with one of the cousins?"
"Uh, yeah." Citypunk looks at Danny nervously, "I mean, I am one of the cousins." The guy bites his lips, shrugging, "Uh, one of the Kents, actually. Ma's real proud of the pies."
Danny blinks.
"…You're not Jon." Danny says, very carefully and slowly.
"…No…" Stranger Danger draws his vowels out, "I'm Conner. His, uh, older brother? Can't blame ya for being confused though!"
"…You can't." Danny agrees, because out of the two them, Danny definitely isn't to blame for the confusion.
"Yeah, lots of cousins, and all," Curiouser and Curiouser beams at Danny, shrugging and rubbing the back of his neck, "Plus, I know Jon's more sociable at these things."
"Right, he really is rambunctious, that guy." Danny nods, as if that's the problem, and not the fact that Danny knows every single cousin his age. Big as his family might be, Danny's generation came out the smallest. Cousin Jenny and Cousin Mark are the only two his age.
With Ellie and Jazz each being four years younger and older than Danny, and the other cousins being well beyond those ages in gaps, there is no way this guy is a cousin.
"Don't worry," Punk'd laughs self deprecatingly, "I know he's the favorite. even if Mom won't admit it."
Danny feels a vein throb in his right temple.
He's unsure if he should slowly back away or get up in the guy's face. It's just—now that Danny thinks about it, if wedding crashing is a thing, does that mean family reunion crashing is a thing too?
What's the protocol here? Should he fight this guy for having the audacity to use Great Aunt Martha's name in vein?
Wait, no, that's Jesus.
Is Great Aunt Martha Catholic? ...Is that the one with Jesus, or was that Christianity?
Wait, Danny, you knuckle head, Uncle Clark was adopted. Conner could be adopted too! Even though he looks exactly like that Uncle Clark when he was younger…
"Is this your first time at a reunion?" Danny ventures, "We only have 'em—"
"Every 5 years, yeah." Conner huffs, "Nah, I just used to hide with Ma in the kitchens."
Okay, clearly Great Aunt Martha isn't in on this, because Danny used to hide with Great Aunt Martha in the kitchens. Danny's about to lose his shit on this guy—or maybe sic Ellie on him. Whichever is worse.
"Oh yeah? That's must have been cozy." Danny grits out, taking a deep breath so his eyes don't flash.
"Yeah, it was!" Conner beams shyly. though all Danny sees is a smug smirk. "She's real nice-like, I'm sure you know. Real lucky to have her for a Grandma."
"Real lucky." Danny agrees, because Great Aunt Martha really was one of the better Great Aunts. Though most of the Walker Kin were hardy and tough, in that badass kind of way. Mom really liked Great Aunt Martha's lessons on bull wranglin' back when they were younger. "Speakin' of, she ain't here?"
"Nah," Conner makes a sad little pout. "She hadta stop by Auntie Agatha's for an emergency. She left two days ago, so she's runnin' a little behind. Cl—Dad went to go pick her up."
Danny squints at the possible imposter. That sounded like he was going to call Uncle Clark by his name, which makes things confusing for Danny. Guy will call Aunt Lois Mom but he won't call Uncle Clark Dad easily? Maybe he's a kid Aunt Lois had before marrying Uncle Clark? But Aunt Lois would never hide a kid, and Great Aunt Martha would never let her treat a kid like that. That's not even taking into account that this kid looks way too much like Uncle Clark for it to be a fucking coincidence. Plus, Danny knew about Aunt Aggie's emergency and how she might not be making it to this year's reunion—this gives Conner's story credibility.
But Danny knows that the best way to lie is with truths, even if the truths are confusing.
So what the hell is going on? Is Clockwork fucking with him? Did an alternate timeline get switched with his?
It wouldn't be the first time, but Clockwork at least had the decency to let him know at least.
"What the—" Danny blinks, as Conner picks up a very familiar, eye-searingly green colored post it note that was stuck to the plate under a mini pie. "Is this yours?"
"Yeah," Danny huffs. taking the note and rolling his eyes as lies roll off his tongue, "Sorry, y'know how it goes with Jazz."
"Oh, yeah." And Danny has to give it Conner, he at least rolls with the punches real quick, "I heard about it but didn't ever uh, see it in action."
"Really?" Danny feigns surprise, head pulsing in irritation at the words all is as it should be written in purple pen. There's no mocking smiley face, but Danny feels it in the ink anyway. "Thought she got all the cousins at the last reunion."
Conner chuckles nervously, "Oh, yeah—Guess I'm just, easy to miss you know?"
"Uh huh…" Danny eyes the guy and his piercings and very distinct style, from the tip of his clearly styled hair and needlessly ostentatious big black studded boots. "…Right."
Conner laughs, wincing. "These're new. High school debut."
"…You're a freshman?" Danny tilts his head, squinting.
"Junior." Conner automatically corrects, before stiffening. "…I just wanted to reinvent myself for Junior Prom."
"Right." Danny repeats, drawing out the vowels and finally giving up. He can tell Conner already knows what Danny is going to ask, and is trying to exit this conversation post-haste.
Fortunately for Conner and unfortunately for Danny, Jazz comes barreling in, almost knocking the former out in the process as she grips the latter's biceps tightly with her eyes wide and nervous.
Unfortunately for Conner and fortunately for Danny, though the look in Jazz's eyes thoroughly distracts the latter and gives the former a window to escape, Jazz's hissed out words end up keeping Conner rooted to the floor.
"Baby Jon has powers!" Jazz hisses as she moves Danny away from the possible imposter a couple feet. Even though she says it low enough for only Danny to hear, Conner's wide eyes as he whips his gaze towards them suggests that Jon's not the only one with powers.
And then words actually register along with that thought.
Danny hisses out the first thing he thinks of. "Since when?? I thought he took after Aunt Lois!"
"Since now," Jazz gruffs, switching her grip to drag Danny away, "and I need you to do something about it!"
"What?" Danny doesn't struggle, going along even as he eyes Conner who seems to be following them at a distance. "Why?"
Jazz pushes him towards the kid's area, rushing out a frantic "He's in the bounce house with Ellie!"
Danny freezes, or tries to even as Jazz keeps tugging him along, before shaking off her hand and booking it towards the bounce house.
Once the bounce house (a castle) comes into view, Danny clocks several things in succession:
One: Ellie and Jon are thankfully the only ones in the bounce house right now.
Two: Ellie and Jon are laughing, and through the mesh Danny can see Ellie watching Jon jump way too high to be considered normal.
And three: The bounce house is about to fucking tip over.
There's a gaggle of Aunts herding the younger cousins towards the food that's dense enough for cover, but sparse enough for Danny to dash through.
Between one blink and the next, he disappears.
![Loid, Yor, Anya & Bond Forger [Spy X Family] By TsuyaNoUchi](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5b0332fb748ac97f893680019f3c7816/135b423273deaa61-c9/s500x750/a2869138802d340ed9e3ab3205bfacea7b83a9fb.png)
DP x DC prompt where Bruce and Tim go to investigate Amity Park, with Jason in tow, all suited up. They’ve heard a strange claim about “ghosts” there, and trying to research the town revealed a concerning government presence and tampered records.
The moment they enter the town, the ectoplasm in the air starts rapidly filtering out the corrupted ectoplasm in Jason’s system and strengthening his underdeveloped core (kinda like To Join the Whispers). Jason doesn’t tell Bruce or Tim at first since he’s kind of freaking out about how the Pit is responding to the town. Then Jason’s arm goes through a table and they don’t really have any idea what is happening and are now all freaking out about it. Danny sees this happen and immediately recognizes the same sudden, uncontrollable power displays he had after the Accident.
Danny is extremely torn because he wants to help (a new halfa?? or something close enough??? and he’s a vigilante???? hell yeah), but he’s also Terrified of Batman going anywhere near his fucking house. So he introduces himself as Phantom and tries his best to steer them away from FentonWorks while also trying to help talk Red Hood through everything and dump a lot of ghost facts on them. Going to see Frostbite is extremely tempting, but Danny’s pretty sure he can handle this. Pretty sure. (He does Not want Batman near the portal, since it means being in his gd house, and he doubts he can get Red Hood there without Batman following.)
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