It's crazy how with a little bit of adhd and excelling grades you can convince everyone that Ur fine, even when Ur OD'ing.
So, I’m a Writer on Wattpad with a pretty good fan following. I write SoC fanfiction. But the things which get to me and INFURIATES me are the smutty Kaz x Oc fanfictions. Kaz Brekker is a boy who can’t even stand skin to skin. A boy who fainted in a prison cart cuz of PTSD. As a person with touch phobia and PTSD, it's fucking impossible to touch the PPL you love with your trauma. And Like y’all are coming at me with the smutty Kaz x Oc fanfictions, and making me sick. I mean smut is okay, but Kaz Brekker is a boy who fell in love with Inej Ghafa ( his ONE and ONLY true love ) within two fucking years. And if you tell me he's having sex with your fucking Oc who has a friggin flat personality and like SeVeRe (fake) TrAuMa within A DAMN WEEK of knowing eachother I—I, I have no damn words.
Tw: abuse
Just survived a couple hours with my abuser while casually chitchatting around family. I need to run away.
I hate ptsd bro I was having such a good day 😭
In the middle of class too like come on 💀
Can’t catch a fucking break everrrrrrr
the flashback and panic attack combo right after is like stubbing your toe on a lego brick and then immediately tripping and face planting into a pool full of legos.
We just saw something called "transtrauma". Some of my systemmates are having a breakdown now, thanks. That's so gross.
- (This is going to get a little vent/ranty rather than educational or shutting a point down)
Why would you want to go through that? That's so awful and horrible and disgusting and repulsive. I can't, I can't. Why would you ever want to be abused? This is too far. I don't care if you call us ableist or traumascum or whatever other name you've come up with. You're saying you fucking want to be traumatized.
I don't think you quite understand what that word means. The things you have to go through and deal with in a daily basis.
This is just people, mostly minors, trying to be quirky and attention-seeking. Get help. Seriously, this isn't funny anymore.
You don't want this for yourself. Please stop. You are so incredibly damaging.
If you attack us/me for being vulnerable and sensitive right now, you're just proving my point that you're a compassion-less asshole.
i want to be hugged.
i want someone to stroke my hair.
i want someone to tell me they’re proud of me.
i want someone to hold my hand in public.
i want someone to tell me everything’s gonna be okay.
i want someone to softly caress my skin.
i want someone to teach me their hobbies.
i want someone to explain to me stuff i don’t understand.
i want someone to give me forehead kisses.
i just want to feel safe, for once.
whole life convincing yourself that you’re emotionless, cold and unbothered only to realise many years later that you created that version of yourself because in reality you couldn’t bare the thought of being vulnerable in any way
and when you finally realise that it’s not something to be proud of you also realise that it’s too late to re-learn everything
you feel great shame because you finally see that you weren’t actually strong - all of it was a weakness. the thing you hated the most. you couldn’t embrace it
and worst of all - you realise that you’ve become exactly like the person who hurt you in the beginning
Someone said happiness will come to me but when? Am i the only one who believes that good things must come into my life in a stipulated time, otherwise it’s like trying to feed someone who’s already full?
And my ptsd driven brain just reaffirms this idea, a timely positive prescence is more important than anything else