@n0r3xia - Blog Posts
Help me my mum is ordering pizza tonight and I'm so scared I'll binge😭 I'm gonna try get the lowest calorie one and like I've had less than 100 calories so far today so I have the room but like I don't want to😭 why do all our dinners have to be so unhealthy
All up today I consumed 1190 kcal and I feel so gross😭 I can't wait for school tomorrow so it takes my mind off of being hungry, I just had that dinner and I actually feel disgusting
For breakfast I had:
poached eggs on toast (352 kcal) and a banana and cinnamon smoothie (163 kcal)
For a snack:
Fried tofu (106 kcal)
For lunch:
4 rice cakes with canned tuna (148 kcal)
For dinner:
Chips, coleslaw and half a bit of chicken schnitzel that my mum got me (421 kcal)
૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ DISCORD SERVER
I made a discord server for 18+ @n@/m1a/3d peeps who like anime and games!
There are lots of stuffs there already lmao. Gaming channel, anime channel, vent and a bunch of 3d related ones like th1nspø, m3alspø, tips and shared mesdia! You can reccomend your favourite music, movie that triggers you.
There is not a lot of people on it, and it's still under "construction", so suggestions are welcome!
Link:
https://disboard.org/server/1174491466287030303
૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ NOVEMBER
I decided that I am kot gonna date things lmao. Kinda feeling mentay frustrated, so I hoped a break would make it better. It, in fact, did not.
I am in one discord server and people are really really nice, but I feel like I abandoned that server and I just dunno. I'd like a community where I can ramble about my silly things and people motivate eachother to push through things. Don't get me wrong, like I said they are really nice, motivating and everything. I just feel like I didn't connect much, but that can be just me.
Anyhow, a gaming-ana server is what I wanna make. For sillies that are like me idk. I might just need more friends lmaoo.
Also I have been fasting for two days now but my period just decided to come, so ugh. Fortunately whenever it happens I don't feel much hunger, so I can just fast and be happy. I am planning on going til saturday because I am meeting up with a friend that day and we already made plans to visit a café. Im sure he will make a suggestion to eat something somewhere too.
So yes yippee. That is for this update. I might restart the logging.
૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ NOVEMBER 1-2
The last week was shitty in terms of starving myself. I plateaued at 73 and I haven't been gaining which is nice, but I haven't been losing either.
Because of the holidays, birthdays and other events I couldn't avoid eating normal amounts but sadly I have been craving things I haven't craved in a long time and it's making me crazy.
For example I really don't like white bread, yet I broke my 72 hour fast after the 27th hour because I had this instant need for it. I looked at the slice, conteplated only a little and bit into it. It was such a big slice too. I knew I can't eat it, that I shouldn't eat it, yet I still did.
Fucking other weight losing tactics haven't worked on me before only starving myself did. Only restricting my calorie intake to 800-400-200 did. What am I supposed to do? Stop because I failed even at something so simple like not fucking stuffing my mouth?
I even ate KFC like a pig. Ate the grander and the twist thing then drank the pumpkin spice shake. I knew I shouldn't but I couldn't stop. The craving and the hunger for it was too much.
God I wanna cry. I wanna tear everything out. They were so good, but for how long? Until I finished watching a moist critical video, which was 10 minutes long.
Why can't I wait? Why can't I control it? I hate it so much.
I hate food. I don't want it anymore.
૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 26
✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧
➀ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal
➀ Monster energy zero - 14 cal
➀ Tortilla with with tuna, corn and light mayo - 211 cal
➀ Tortilla with tuna, corn, broccoli, cheese and tomato sauce - 386 cal
Water - 1.4l/2l
Full - 611 cal
✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧
Steps - 9482/10000 - 381 cal
Exercise - No - 0 cal
Burned - 381 cal
૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 25
✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧
➁ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal
➁ Green apple 309g - 180 cal
➀ Tortilla with with tuna and corn - 545 cal
Water - 1.6l/2l
Full - 725 cal
✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧
Steps - 8698/10000 - 353 cal
Exercise - No - 0 cal
Burned - 353 cal
૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 24 + WEEK SUMMARY
I was so absent gah daym. I binge watched trigun again then watched trigun stampede and grrr the brainrot was so real and strong (curse you knives for being so crazy and yet so appealing for my brain) and quite honestly I just didn't bother to write logs.
The whole week been really chill, mostly spent my time at home mainly because I got kinda ill...for a day lmao. After that I was just kinda tired all day so I stayed in bed, only woke up to do my nails, which took me 4 days btw because Im not a professional and I wanted it to be perfect.
So yes, I only logged my food down in the tracker and wasted away. Makes me kinda sad, kinda guilty but at the same time it is what it is.
AlsonI noticed that now it's not as hot and warm outside so my body doesn't "crave" water so I forget to drink and that's not good. It makes me hungry and bored so I often catch myself wandering in the kitchen, opening and closing the fridge door to see if my stomach wants anything other than meat, veggies and fruits. Not too big on eating carbohydrates and if I can I will avoid it even tho my body supposedly needs it. (I was a hypocrite today tho I craved rice and gave)
✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧
➁ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal
➀ Pickwick green tea (lemon) 350ml - 0 cal
➁ Green apples 287g - 166 cal
➁ Eggs 106g - 152 cal
➁ Bowl of Basmati rice with tuna, corn and broccoli - 700 cal
Water - 1.6l/2l
Full - 1018 cal
✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧
Steps - 10217/10000 - 410 cal
Exercise - No - 0 cal
Burned - 420 cal
૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 17
Waking up early is never a pleasant thing, since family is home and they remind me to pack food. Fortunately my mom gives a lift to my brother who starts really early, so she wasn't be able to force me to bring food and my sister and father doesn't really care.
It was so cold today I could see my breath in the air. My dumbass also forgot to pack handcream into my bag because my hands dry out because of the chilly air, so much that it's starts to cut up or something. I could wear gloves sure, but it feels restricting.
Alsoo! I weighed myself in the morning and I was 73.5kg! When I was talking with my best friend I could see it on my face an neck how much thinner it is already so I am really happy.
✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧
➁ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal
➀ Pickwick green tea (lemon) 300ml - 0 cal
➂ Green apples - 291 cal
➁ Homemade margherita pizza - 204 cal
Water - 1.7l/2l
Full - 150 cal
✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧
Steps - 8249/10000 - 330 cal
Exercise - No - 0 cal
Burned - 330 cal
૮ฅ・ﻌ・აฅ OCTOBER 16
Today was surprisingly really cold, but fortunately not as cold to have the winter coat out just yet.
Other than going to school and coming home, nothing really note worthy happened.
✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧
➁ Plain black coffee 200ml - 0 cal
➁ Boiled eggs with hot sauce - 156 cal
➁ Green apples - 139 cal
➀ Tuna with hot sauce and light mayo 62g - 134 cal
Water - 1.4l/2l
Full - 429 cal
✧ ° ｡ʚ 🍓 ɞ ｡° ✧
Steps - 8973/10000 - 359 cal
Exercise - No - 0 cal