Cassie Clare - Blog Posts
Ty: So as some of us know, Julian may appeal a little scary…
Kit: “A little”? That boy's a stone cold Slytherin
Will [every time he’s broke]: I’d be an amazing prostitute
Jace: you see, I just realized I have two ears so it’s a waste to listen to just one thing.
Alec: let me get this straight
Alec: you’ve only just realized you have two ears?
Thomas: So, does everyone know what they’re doing?
Matthew: You mean in life or the plan?
Thomas:
Matthew: because I’ve no idea of either.
Matthew: You consider me a friend?
Cordelia: Sure. What else would I consider you?
Matthew: I don’t know. An embarrassment? A way to rebel against your family? A desperate cry for help? The list is endless.
Will: How do you always know when I’m sad?
Jem: Well, you look sad and you haven’t said anything mean to Gabriel for like 3 hours.
Jem: Oh, and you’re wearing a button that says “I’m sad, ask me why.”
Charlotte: Will, the assignment was to bring something important to you
Will: Yes, and I did!
Charlotte: I meant an object, not Jem
Jace: I’ve killed more demons than I can count
Jace: Because I’ve killed a lot of demons
Jace: Not because I can’t count very high
Mark: Oh shit, a cockroach!
Julian: Well, take off your shoe and kill it!
Mark: *takes shoe off and squashes it with his bare foot*
Julian: NO-
Julian: AND WHY THE FCK WOULD YOU DO THAT??!
Kit: Why is helping someone hide a body the standard for true friendship?
Kit: Look, if you’re in trouble, I’ll lie to the cops for you. I’ll dispose of evidence. Whatever.
Kit: But please I am begging you, do not make me dig a hole. That sounds so hard.
Dru: *Stares blankly*
😂❤
Simon, meeting the TMI gang after losing his memories: Wait, demons and are real? I thought they were just something made up to scare children... like vitamins
Magnus: Vitamins are real
Simon: Well, now I'm thinking they might be...
Alastair: When I die, you’re going to piss on my grave, aren’t you?
Matthew: Oh yes, most definitely
Alastair: Cool, just checking
Alastair: You’re perfect in every way
Thomas: what
Alastair: I said you’Re tErRIBLE AND PROBABLY GAY, Thomas!
Alastair, under his breath: please be at least a little gay…
James: Please tell me I’m imagining that I got drunk and claimed I was the King of All Ducks.
Matthew: I would, but then I’d be lying to the King of All Ducks.
So maybe I don’t have muscles, or hair in certain places and sure, when a girly pop song comes on the radio, sometimes I leave it on! ‘Cause dang it, top 40 hits are in the top 40 for a reason! They’re catchy!
Kit Herondale, probably
Jesse, blushing: So, I guess we are boyfriend and girlfriend now
Lucie: Only on one condition
Jesse: What?
Lucie: I get to be the girlfriend
Diego: Yesterday my fiancée Zara cheated on me with my best friend Manuel.
Jamie: Wait, since when is Manuel your best friend?
Diego: Since yesterday.
Thomas: I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief
Jem: You’re right
Will: That’s… that’s an unusual phrase for you, my beloved parabatai. Did you just learn it?
Jem: You didn’t let me finish
Will: I had a hunch
Tessa, looking around Kit’s room: That’s odd. There are takeout food containers in the trash...
Kit: That’s my dinner from last night.
Tessa: What’s odd is that they’re in the trash
James: Did you miss me?
Matthew: I always miss you. 24/6.
James: Why not 24/7?
Matthew: I worship Oscar Wilde on Sundays.
Gabriel: Just be casual, try some light flirting
Gideon: Got it
*later*
Sophie: Nice work out there, high five!
*high fives Gideon*
Gideon: *intertwines fingers*
Sophie: what-
Gideon: I am in love with you :3
Lucie: Once, when I was younger, I tried to start a gang.
Jesse: How did it go?
Lucie: It turned into a book club.
Jesse:
Lucie: Actually, it was just Mum, Dad, Jamie and me and Bridget used to make cookies.
Valentine: Voyages are like children
Valentine: You delete the ones that don’t succeed
Jocelyn: wHat?
Will: I really just keep getting prettier, it’s kind of alarming.
Will: In a couple of years, it’ll be impossible to look directly at me, I will be so pretty
Matthew: I would walk through fire for the Merry Thieves!
Matthew: Well, not FIRE because it’s dangerous, but like a super humid room
Matthew: Not too humid because… you know, my hair
*Jem giving Kit a present*
Jem: Happy birthday, Kit! I hope you love it. I’m sorry I couldn’t find any wrapping paper, so I wrapped it in hundred-dollar bills.
Kit: I love it already
Livvy: Hey, can you watch my drink for a second while I go to the bathroom?
Kit: Sure, but isn’t letting dudes watch your drink a bad idea?
Livvy: I just saw you mouth all the words to that Taylor Swift song and figured that you were harmless
Kit: I got you
Ty: Kit, please don’t pronounce “Hors D’oeuvres” as “horse divorce” ever again