Chain Of Gold - Blog Posts
Anna: Yo, is that guy sleeping or dead?
Matthew: Hopefully dead, I hated that guy.
James: Yeah, so did I.
Alastair, laying on the floor: First of all, fuck you all-
Will: I found James. He was sleeping while training again.
James: I wasn’t sleeping, someone drugged me!
Will, turning around to Tessa: Cancel that, he was doing drugs.
Jem: Ok, Will, I know you mean well and everything, but please stop being a little bitch. We need to work together!
Will: Will do. But only if you take off your shirt for me.
Jem:
Jem: Weird flex but okay
Matthew: So the police showed up and everybody ran, so I did, too.
Matthew: And I started climbing down this fire escape.
Matthew: And then I heard a cop yell to put your hands up,
Matthew: so I did and I fell... onto him.
Matthew: You should take off your glasses more often
James: *stops*
James: *looks around*
Matthew: What is it? Did you lose anything?
James: It looks like I lost all my fucks and I have none to give
James: I’m not scared of you! None of us are!
Christopher: I kind of am
James: Christopher, shut up!
Cordelia: Knowledge is power
Alastair: Yes
Cordelia: *smacks him with a trigonometry textbook* KNOWLEDGE
James: I love you, Lucie. Even if you are Dad's favorite.
Lucie: Me? WHaT? No!
James: It's true. Look, if we were sitting in a sinking boat, you know who he's saving.
Lucie: Cordelia
James: ... yes
Tessa: You are an ADULT, Will. It’s your job to keep our children from making stupid decisions like this!
Will: That is true…
Will: … but I was also really curious to see how many donuts James and Lucie can eat in one minute.
James: A-C-D-F-B-G-
Lucie: What are you saying?
James: I’m singing the alphabet
Lucie: That’s not the alphabet-
Matthew from upstairs: YASSS GIRL REMIX
The Merry Thieves: [searching the beach]
James: Sorry guys, looks like there’s no sand dollars left
Christopher: Can’t the ocean just make more of them?
Matthew: And cause inflation? Destroy the sand economy? By the angel, Christopher, use your head.
I am very proud to announce that I am officially a lost cause. Thank you all for your continued support. Unfortunately, it was all for nothing.
- Matthew Fairchild, probably
Cordelia: He is probably thinking about other girls…
Lucie: You never know what’s going through a guys mind.
[Meanwhile]
James: If you sat on a voodoo doll of yourself would you ever be able to stand up?
Matthew: Holy shit, bro
Thomas: I have a boyfriend now
Matthew, encouragingly: A boyfriend?
Thomas: [reflexively gives a panicked peace sign]
Matthew: TWO boyfriends?!
Pillow Talk
James: Sometimes, Cordelia sleep talks
Cordelia, sleeping: KILL THE BITCH
James: I didn’t say I enjoyed it.
Cordelia, in the background: DIE
Will: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!
Will: *aggressively throws water bottles*
James: …
Matthew: Uh…
Lucie: He’s trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us.
Matthew, crying: It’s working
Kidnapper: I have one of your group members
Thomas: Oh, really?
Matthew, drunk in the background: IT’S ME, MATTHEW!
Thomas: You have the wrong number
Henry: So, I heard you like bad boys?
Charlotte: Umm, no, not really-
Henry: Not to get you excited, but I don’t look both ways before I cross the street.
Charlotte: That’s very dangerous.
Henry: I know. I don’t really do that…
Cecily: *loses Gabriel in a crowd*
Cecily: This calls for drastic-
Will: SHUT THE FUCK UP and keep walking
Matthew: MOVE!
Charles: You have room!
Matthew: No, move out. You're like forty!
Charles: ...
Playing Twister
Lucie: James, right hand red
James: [ends up on top of Cordelia]
James: Okay, you’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?
Lucie: I stopped spinning like 15 turns ago. Honestly, I’m surprised you didn’t notice sooner.
Matthew: I don't know where James is, but I can sense that he's ok. It's like we share the same brain.
Lucie: Who has it now?
Matthew: Welcome to the “I Hate Matthew Fairchild”-Club
Matthew: and I, of course, am the president.
Matthew: *looks over at James* Poke
James: *without looking up from his book* Poke
Matthew: Poke *pokes James on his cheek*
James: Poke *pokes Matthew on the arm*
Matthew: Poke!
James: Poke!
Matthew: POKE
James: POKE
*a poke war ensues that somehow ends up on the floor with Christopher on top thinking it was a hug party*
Thomas:
Thomas: WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING RIGHT NOW???
Tessa: Can I please stay in your room?
Jem: Why?
Tessa: Will and I played with a Ouija board and we cursed mine
Tessa: and Will isn’t much help. He doesn’t know how to banish spirits, so he just throws salt at them and yells: “Does this look like a hotel to you?!”
Will: You don’t understand, it’s my destiny to sacrifice myself, I deserve to die here if it means even the slimmest chance of stopping Mortmain from hurting anyone else.
Jem: If you live I’ll let you kiss me on the mouth.
Will: … on the mouth?
First day at the Shadowhunter Academy
Matthew: Hey. I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Matthew.
James: Hi. I’m disgusted.
Alexander: I’m moving in to the attic.
Thomas: The attic?!
Alexander: Hey, at least it’s big. Dad said you used to live in a closet.
