I Want To Be Weightless - Blog Posts

il punto è che amo mangiare.

ma odio la sensazione di pienezza, di sazietà, la nausea.

odio il modo in cui trasforma il mio corpo, il suo continuo depositare grasso sulla pancia, sulle gambe, sulle braccia, sulla faccia.

odio il fatto che, per mangiare anche solo una mela, debba sbottonare i pantaloni, perché il mio addome si gonfia così tanto che non ce la faccio a sentire la pressione dei bottoni contro di esso.

odio il fatto che io non possa più vestirmi come una volta, perché non mi va più niente di ciò che mi piace, e perfino la gente attorno a me ha notato che vesto solo di tute e maglie larghe ormai.

odio i sensi di colpa dopo ogni pasto, odio il pentimento che deriva dall'aver mangiato l'ultimo boccone anche quando stavo già per sboccare, odio il fatto che io sia l'unica delle persone che conosco a non avere un bel fisico, soprattutto da nuda, e ciò mi fa vergognare terribilmente poiché sono fidanzata.

odio tutta questa rabbia repressa per me stessa, odio tutti questi dannati chili di troppo.

e un po', talvolta molto più di "un po'", odio me stessa per aver permesso che ciò accadesse, per aver permesso a questo corpo di diventare com'è ora.

13/10/22, ore 02:38.

How to stop binge cycle after school

Holiday didn’t help ate like trash anyway I’m starting school again so I hope it’ll help lol

Thank god I started my holiday it’s going to be so much easier to starv3 lol

Literally I recovered for a bit and gained 3kg I’m gonna relapse lol I show lose 5kg by the end of the month yea anyway meanspo in the comments pls

That’s it I’ve made a decision I’ll eat now then I’ll fast for one week if I break it I’ll km$ ughhh I need to lose 10kg I have 2weeks and that’s it I will lose them.

Bro I come back from school and literally eat anything I see then I don’t eat for the rest of the day how do I stop this like I starve at school then when I come back I binge (not that big of a binge) it’s so annoying.

I’ve been eating too much lately!!! I’m pretty Sure I gained 1-2kg. Ugh I’m gonna do this and I’ll update you guys when I finish it (also I made this challenge if you wanna do it do it at your own risk!!) I might as well blog what I eat so I’ll be pressured to eat clean!! Also meanspo in the comments pls!!!

Fasting isn’t working, I’m just gonna have to cut it all off 🤷🏻

Sometimes I wonder if people would like me more if I was literally just a skeleton

Did my very first 24hr fast today and I decided to break it with chia seed pudding, some blueberries and a banana, I'm so proud of myself it was easier than I was expecting tho ngl

Just tried one of these for the first time and it's so good!?!? They're super cheap too which is awesome

Monday 6/11

I'm posting this a little late because I was so tired yesterday I forgot😭 this wasn't all I ate (I had like an apple and stuff) but this was the meals and my net calories do reflect everything I ate, I think today I'm just gonna sleep😭

Sunday 5/11

Man I am so tired today😭 I also kinda wanna start drinking more smoothies/protein shakes just to kinda get me out of the habit of putting stuff in my mouth if that makes sense?? I wish I didn't love food so much man </3

Saturday 4/11

I almost forgot to post yesterday's food log I was so tired😭 it's getting easier to eat less though so that's always a plus

Friday 2/11

Sadly I couldn't do a full 24 hr liquid fast like I wanted to because my step sister was getting sus but I did consume net 0 calories instead😭 I went on like a 3 hr walk

I'm back and I'm gonna try a 24hr liquid fast for the first time, wish me luck♡

Monday 30/10

Today I had 945 calories which is a little too close for comfort for me but at least it's under I suppose. I wish I could make my own dinner so I can control what I eat more😭

For lunch I had an apple and some black tea because I was feeling pretty hungry, which was 50 calories

After school I had a little bowl filled with lettuce, salmon, scrambled eggs and a tiny bit of avocado which was 196 calories

For dinner mum made pasta, leas and crumbed sausages which I ended up having two of, that was 697 calories😭

Saturday 28/10

Today I had 729 calories, I really wanna cut down though because I haven't really lost any weight in the past week😭

For breakfast/lunch dad made me some sausages and eggs and I felt bad so I didn't wanna turn it down😭 it was 353 calories

I had a little meal around 5 because I get hungry around then, it was around 25 calories

For dinner I had what I had yesterday which is some glazed salmon with some leftover creamy potatoes which was 350 calories

Friday 27/10

Here's my food for the day! I got to make my own dinner so the total calories are only 575

For lunch I had some peanut butter on rice cakes, 175 calories

For dinner I had some leftover creamy potatoes and some glazed salmon I made! There wasn't much here to make a glaze though so I used some malt vinegar, pork bulgogi, sugar and tomato sauce. It was surprisingly tasty but I have no idea how many calories it was, I'm gonna guess like 50, in total for dinner though it was 400 calories

Wednesday 25/10

My parents still eat super unhealthy but I could manage it this time! Yippee!

Today I had 896 calories which now that I've added my dinner calories up that's kinda crazy like my smoothie (which looks gross but it was actually yum trust me) was less than 200 calories

After school I went on a walk and had a smoothie with banana, apple, cinnamon and a little milk which was 182 Cal

Mum made dinner and she gave me a huge portion for some reason?? It was 714 Cal though which I mean thank god I didn't eat anything more throughout the day like that's actually crazy. Surprisingly I ended up eating it all tho mainly because I didn't want my mum getting suspicious