Npd - Blog Posts
Raise your hand if you would kill every version of yourself to be the special unique one
bro im such a hater to like everyone and im so okay with it 😭😭😭 like if my friends knew the shit i think they would drop me SO FAST LMAO
Questioning NPD culture is getting annoyed when people don’t understand that NPD is a spectrum like any other disorder. Yes, sometimes the traits can make someone an asshole, that can happen with any disorder or any mentally stable person. But sometimes the traits can also make you one of the kindest people on earth because NPD is literally viewing yourself as the best and wanting everyone else to agree.
— 🕸🕷 (Is this one taken?)
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NPD (+ bpd?) culture is loving the idea of being hated by someone only to get upset when it really happens because you're sensitive
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any other narcs get uncomfortable when you're the center of attention without trying. like if you want to be the center of attention its great but if it happens on accident you feel weird and bad and uncomfortable like you somehow manipulated the situation without trying
Sick and tired of narcissists being talked about like mythological wild animals. I just read something that described covert narcissists as “highly defensive and extremely hostile”. I’m not a skittish dog. Why can’t you put it as “traumatised with extreme trust issues” like you would for any other less stigmatised disorder?
i think my most narcissistic trait is the fact that i would be uncomfortable being friend with another person with NPD because i have to be The One And Only Narcissist™️
friendly reminder there'd be a lot less abusive narcissists if there were reliable sources on npd symptoms and how to handle them 🥰
Me: If, hypothetically, a person’s trauma causes them to become severely mentally ill and that illness makes them potentially difficult or even harmful to be around, wouldn’t that mean that we as a society should therefore focus on preventing that type of trauma and encourage compassion and recovery for these people to reduce the risk of the cycle continuing?
“Narc abuse” mfs: Everyone I deem as having this rare personality disorder that is notoriously difficult to diagnose and psychiatrists often refuse to treat is a soul-sucking demonic Incubus that should be skinned alive
Bc Ive seen some ppl ask me about it (and bc im bored) Im just going to say what I* mean when I mention npd hierarchies
So basically some ppl with npd (myself included) have somewhat subconscious rankings of the ppl around them. For me personally these ranks are split into 5 main tiers and most ppl vaguely fall into 1 of them, unless I am close to that person and they get a more personalized rank
The tiers are:
1. Superior (negative) - where you are better than me and that is a threat. I highly dislike you and want to take you down somehow to prove myself better than you
2. Superior (positive) - i look up to you greatly and want you to notice me. I want to become friends or be recognized by you and I am personally interested in you
3. Equal - An ep pretty much. You are on the same level as me and my narcissistic traits are toned down greatly. I value our relationship a lot
4. Inbetween - I see you as somewhat lesser than me but I dont dislike you and often enjoy interacting with you. However you are not on the same level as an ep and I have a lot less things I am willing to put up with for our relationship. Most ppl are here
5. Inferior - You are so far below me I dislike you. I dont like talking to you and you are often exceptionately annoying to me. I will only interact out of either obligation or if something you have brought up personally interests me. Maybe also to fight you if youre a prick. Not many ppl are here
These ranks are not active choices and are entirely subconscious, only noticeable by how I feel about interactions with you. If you are very close to me you may have your own personalized rank, but that happens to very few ppl
*I, me, 1 person on the internet who is not a medical professional. This is what I mean when I talk about hierarchies and these are my experiences, not a universal definition or whatever
A lot of pop psychology gets thrown around and since I already have a headache, here's preventing you lot from making it worse.
Love-bombing: A manipulation tactic of increasing affection and grand gestures before or after doing something abusive, specifically to weasel one's way out of consequences.
What it is not: A streak of affection and generosity towards friends/loved ones.
Trauma-bonding: Knowingly traumatizing someone to take advantage of their vulnerable state, to then act like the "hero" or the one who cheers them up.
What it is not: Bonding over similar traumas.
Gaslighting: *Knowingly* convincing someone they cannot trust their own perception of a situation in pursuit of one's own narrative.
What it is not: Misaligned perception of events.
Narcissist: Someone afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, a traumagenic cluster B disorder, that struggles with self-obsession, paranoia, craving validity from the public, delusions of grandeur, and social disconnection.
It is not: Your rubbish ex that cheated on you.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
-Xanthe
It's very common for people to push those with demonised personality disorders to the end of their tether via manipulation, bullying, abuse, etc. and then get upset with them when they inevitably snap.
It happens a lot within the neurodivergent community, too! People spread lies about us, do things that purposely upset/trigger us and then when we start to get upset/stand up for ourselves/etc. it's "sEE??? we were right about them all along!!!!"
was scrolling through the npdcultureis blog because of the post you rebloged so now I have some question
I’m familiar with the term fp/favourite person in relation to Borderline Personality Disorder but I’ve never heard the term ‘ep’. What does that stand for? And what is it’s significance?
EP (in NPD) stands for equal person. Basically people someone with NPD sees as equal to themselves and grandiose patterns dont affect the relationship as much. The NPD tends to fuck around less with EPs and narcissists tend to be attached to their EPs, prioritizing them and having a very close relationship with them. Narcissists can have multiple EPs as well (personally i have 3... i think)
Different from FPs in BPD which turns many BPD symptoms up, EPs tend to calm down narcissistic traits
Btw anyone is free to add onto this post with more information and shit
ok congress let’s get this discussion started
i think i explained my point best here
a lot of narc abuse truthers use the argument that narcissism ≠ npd which
a) they don’t actually mean and that’s clear in the way that they actively attempt to tear down npd communities online and demonise npd symptoms
b) isn’t a fair justification for mislabeling abuse
nobody in the history of the universe (EVER) has tried to deny that people with npd are capable of abuse. the entire point is that people with npd are not MORE likely to be abusive than anybody else and that there is no pattern of behaviour exclusive to narcissists. every behaviour associated with narc abuse can be, and is, performed by egotypicals and otherwise mentally stable people.
it’s an inaccurate descriptor for a pattern of behaviour because it also assumes that pwnpd are a hivemind. in reality, there are hundreds of ways people could present with npd. the dsm5 criteria is far too broad to make sweeping generalisations about anybody with a diagnosis.
the word narcissist implies npd (and vice versa). that’s not going to change. the only way either party is benefited by the use of the label is that egotypicals get an entire group to hate instead of just their abuser. even if we adopt their mindset and argue that narcissists are inherently abusive (again, categorically false), the demonisation of the disorder has a massive impact on the accessibility of treatment and would, in turn, increase rates of “narcissistic abuse”.
i have a lot to say about how a lot of narc abuse truthers on this hellsite actually have a sufficient amount of npd symptoms to be diagnosed but i’m sure they’ll come at me with some shit about “reactive narcissism” and how their treatment of us is justifiable because they’re better (look in the mirror.)
narcissism/NPD recovery resources, because there’s like nothing good out there
Books and things to read:
Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations by Dr. Elinor Greenburg - Aimed at providers but apparently super great for self-help too
How Do You Develop Whole Object Relations as an Adult? by Dr. Elinor Greenburg - Tips on how to stop seeing yourself and other people as only either all-good or all-bad
10 Stages in the Treatment of Narcissistic Disorders by Dr. Elinor Greenburg - Goes through the stages of treating NPD
Rethinking Narcissism by Dr. Craig Malkin - A book about promoting healthy narcissism instead of unhealthy narcissism
Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders by Dr. Daniel Fox - what it says on the tin. May be best done guided by a therapist
Shame in patients with narcissistic personality disorder PDF - What it says on the tin.
Narcissus and the Daffodils - an essay about NPD by someone with NPD. Probably the best description I’ve ever seen
Things to watch and listen to:
Recovery FOR the Narcissist by Dr. Eric Perry - A compassionate podcast to provide insight, support, and encouragement to anyone who exhibits narcissistic tendencies. Very in-depth
Early Morning Barking - A YouTube channel by someone with BPD and NPD about coping with and educating people on BPD and NPD. He also has a Recovery from NPD by Dr. Todd Grande - A video about this provider’s experience with helping people recover from NPD
Misc:
Narcissism Self Help Therapy website - A daily program for people with NPD (may have some triggering aspects in Part 2 of the program)
NPD Safe carrd resources - More resources for NPD (I have not gone through all of these so I don’t know how good they are)
NPD Recovery Comics by The Ego System - A bunch of fantastic comics about recovering from NPD.
and ableists say that this sort of shit doesn’t happen.
Woe I made a hyper specific NPD bingo
Egotypicals can interact just dont be weird
HELP THE TIKTOK ABLEISTS ARE SAYING NARCS EYES CAN STRAIGHT UP GO BLACK⁉️⁉️⁉️
bro they think we're mythical fucking demons im done😭😭😭
npd culture is feeling exhausted or crashing after most social interactions because you didn't present as funny or cool as you wanted to
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HELP THE TIKTOK ABLEISTS ARE SAYING NARCS EYES CAN STRAIGHT UP GO BLACK⁉️⁉️⁉️
bro they think we're mythical fucking demons im done😭😭😭
NPD is also about having learned so much on how to present yourself because you were forced to perform at an age far too early for that, then growing up and looking down at everyone who cannot perform as well as you do and considering them weak and unprepared for life. How dare you not have the horrific experience of lacking any sense of self unless you’re praised and elevated.
“not everything in life is about winning” ok then what the fuck is it about? losing ?? genuinely how can you live with yourself if you just let others beat you
How can narcissistic personalities result from trauma?
While narcissism as a personality trait has existed for a long time, there is an increasing amount of people who associate the term the diagnosis "narcissistic personality disorder". I have put this in quotes because I believe cluster B personality disorders should not exist as diagnoses because they stigmatize maladaptive personality traits developed in response to trauma, and this stigmatization hinders a victim's ability to seek support and advocate for themselves.
I am a child abuse victim diagnosed borderline personality disorder with narcissistic traits and this post is based on a combination of research and personal experience. As mentioned above, I am opposed to referring to victims as narcissists, but for the sake of this post, I'll be using phrasing recognizable to people with misconceptions about the topic. Please bear with me.
Childhood trauma is a common contributing factor in cluster B personality disorders even in the psychiatric diagnosis; however, when most people think of these disorders, they think of an abuser and not a victim, especially in the case of narcissism--after all, the term 'narcissist' is a pejorative with synonyms such as 'conceited' and 'self absorbed'.
In order to grapple with the source of a narcissistic personality developed in response to trauma, you must first be aware of what narcissism in NPD is actually like. These narcissists are not supervillains who successfully gain the love and support of everyone. Narcissism holds you back in life. For example, it makes rejection and criticism especially difficult to deal with, which can make maintaining relationships or even having a consistent career difficult. The confident demeanor of a narcissist--while it lasts until narcissistic collapse--is not genuine self-love. It's a way to mask vulnerability to avoid harm that was inescapable in the past. A narcissist is significantly more self-conscious than the average person, as they must inflate themselves in every scenario in order to feel safe and secure. This is where we can see the internal suffering of a narcissist and how such a personality is, at its core, a defensive reaction to trauma.
But what about entitlement?
"I deserved the pain." Self-blaming response to trauma.
"I deserve better". Healing response to trauma.
"Others deserve worse". Vindictive response to trauma.
While narcissism is associated with the last response, it's entirely possible for narcissists to have escalated from the first, or even cycle between all three. You have to keep in mind a narcissist is not actually in love with themselves--but in order for a person to be entitled, you may be thinking they must see themselves as superior in some way, right? Well, it's more complicated than that. Different responses to trauma can arise depending on the person's life experience, past trauma, and current situation. Interaction with victims that have similar trauma, such as in a group therapy setting, can provoke a narcissist's view on vulnerability. With their perception of the world and human relationships, they may view other victims as weak if they appear to have a more 'sensitive' reaction, because this is the type of reaction narcissists try so badly to hide in themselves in order to avoid potential harm. If a narcissist views an abuse victim--or anyone, really--as 'weak' in comparison, they will feel wounded and experience vindictive jealousy when a person that triggers their vulnerability in some way has successes in life. This is where the sense of entitlement comes in. As a defensive reaction, narcissists try to convince themselves they are in some way more deserving of a better life. "A better life" for a narcissist, as developed through trauma, often involves some sort of power. This can lead to fixation on things like wealth, fame, and material items. Anything to appear 'better'. Anything to appear secure. Any way to feel in control and invincible from abuse.
It's not a sympathetic reaction to trauma, but it is equally painful and damaging as any other. If you are a victim with this sort of behavior, you're not "hopeless" like the internet will tell you. At age 25, I have not intentionally caused anyone pain in 6 years. The vindictive feelings are there, but I choose to back away when I feel I may involve others in my own pain. "I don't deserve it, but neither do you."
a friendly reminder from your local NPD/ASPD wolf:
you don't need empathy, whether emotional or cognitive, to be a "good person", and you don't need sympathy, either.
you don't need remorse, guilt, shame, or even regret to be a "good person".
you don't need to have anything else that "makes up for" any of the above to be a "good person".
those of us who don't have some or all of these things still deserve support. we should not have to strive to gain or emulate these things in any fashion in order to be worthy of the same decency you offer to those who do not need to try to gain these things on account of already having them.
it is a form of violence to demand that we change or hide parts of ourselves in order to fit into your definition of "good person" before you'll offer decency and humanity. decency and humanity is not an incentive for change, it is not a reward for doing what you want, it is a basic right that everyone--no matter who they are or what they've done or what they feel--is entitled to and is worthy of having.
if you want us to change in any way, you must first give us the room and support we need to do so, even if we choose not to change in the end. if your support is conditional, if there is a risk of losing it if we do not fit into your box, there is no point in us trying to gain it anyway.
questioning npd culture is always blaming mistakes you do on trauma or neurodivergencey because it’s not my fault im like this
-🎒🌲
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Maybe NPD Culture is seeing someone try to one-up other people and deciding to join in because you're the best at one-upping people.
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