Ron Slider Kerner - Blog Posts
Viper:
Iceman: I dunno what’s wrong with me, sir. I can’t eat, can’t sleep, maybe I’m coming down with something?!
Viper: O-hoho, I know what you’ve got, the L word.
Slider: Yeahhhh, leprosy!
Viper: No, Kener. It’s 4 letters, starts with L, ends with E.
Slider: …
Slider: A-ha! Lice!
This is perfect!
And violà! @kazanskys-mitchell
Mav + Slider: *running away from something/someone*
Carole: Should we help them?
Ice: *running after Mav + Slider*
Goose: Nah, I think they're okay
They were not
Slider: Why is Goose unconscious, and why is Mav dying on the floor, laughing?
Ice: Goose was going to hit his head on the doorframe so Maverick told him to duck, and he quacked at him. And then he hit his head.
Slider: *wheezes*
Slider: Why are you smiling?
Ice: What, I'm not allowed to smile just because I feel like it?
Goose: Maverick tripped and fell down the stairs...
Slider: lol.
Iceman: When I am rich *points at Slider* you're getting therapy, *points at Wolf* you're getting therapy, *points at Mav* you're getting double therapy. Everyone's HEALING.
Based on this:
"Would you still love me if I was a worm?"
Maverick with Goose...
Mav: Goose, would you still love me if I was a worm?
Goose: Sure, honey.
OR
Goose: Hey, Mav, would you still love me if I was a worm?
Mav: A what?
Goose: A worm. Would you still love me?
Mav: Yeah, Goose, I'd still love you.
Maverick with Penny...
Mav: Penny?
Penny: Yeah?
Mav: You'd still love me if I was a worm, right?
Penny: *unimpressed/amused* Pete....
Mav: What???
Penny: *rolls eyes fondly* Yes. I'd still love you.
OR
Penny: Pete?
Mav: Mmm?
Penny: Would you still love me if I was a worm?
Mav: *totally unphased* Yeah, of course.
Iceman with Slider...
Ice: Would you still love me if I was a worm?
Slider: If you- What?? What do you- *stops* Actually. You know what? Sure, man. I'd love you if you were a worm.
OR
Slider: Hey, Ice, would you still love me if I was a worm?
Ice: Like, if you were always a worm, or if you got turned into one?
Slider: *shrugs*
Ice: *rolls eyes fondly* Sure, Ron.
Iceman with Sarah...
Sarah: Tom?
Ice: Yeah?
Sarah: Would you still love me if I was a worm?
Ice: Of course.
OR
Ice: Would you still love me if I was a worm?
Sarah: *laughing* What?
Ice: Humour me.
Sarah: *kisses him* Of course, love.
Ice and Mav with each other........
Ice: Mitchell, would you still love me if I was a worm?
Mav: *immediately* No, because you're annoying.
OR
Mav: Hey, Ice-
Ice: No.
Mav: What?
Ice: No. Do not ask me if I would still love you if you were a worm.
Mav: I WASN'T GOING TO!!!
BONUS ROUND!
Carole and Goose...
Carole: *yells across a room full of people* Hey, Goose, you'd still love me if I was a worm?
Goose: *yells back* Damn straight, Honey!
Carole: *blows him a kiss*
Hangman and Rooster...
Hangman: Hey, Bradshaw, would you love me if I was a a worm?
Rooster: *without looking up* Yeah, sure.
Hangman: Wait, what???
Phoenix: *manifesting out of nowhere* It's because if you were a worm you wouldn't be able to talk, Bagman.
Rooster: *silently high-fives Phoenix*
*Ice is causally taking a quiet walk one evening when suddenly two drunk people run past, yelling and chasing a raccoon, pursued by security*
Ice: Not my circus, not my monkeys...
*realising it was Maverick and Slider*
Ice: *running after them* My circus, my monkeys, my circus, my monkeys...
Maverick: Do you think I could fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
Iceman: *facepalms* You're a hazard to society...
Slider: And a coward, do 20!
Had very mixed responses to this on Reddit. What do you guys think?
Top Gun Headcanons #3
After his death, Slider replaces Iceman as COMPACFLT.
When he enters the office for the first time, there is a neatly written note left on the desk:
Dear Admiral Kerner,
Have fun with Maverick.
- Ice.
Slider: GODDAMNIT, TOM!
Mav: it's a mental breakdown
Rest of the class: dooo do dooo do
Mav: Come to Top Gun! We have:
Mav: Meltdown monday.
Goose: Too tired tuesday.
Ice: Why am i here wednesday.
Slider: This week needs to end thursday.
Hollywood: Finally freakin friday.
Wolfman: Super lit saturday.
Chipper: Shit i have a lot to do sunday.
Art collab with @zeromav !!
I drew Goose and Zero drew Maverick and Slider
Collective agreement that Mav absolutely goes running to Goose if Slider gave him the smallest tap just to get the man in trouble even if Mav egged Slider on.. i love them
Base used
Hybrid au!!!
Again au inspo from @paxdracona !!
Totally didn’t forget about slider when doodling the bird au.. 🧍♂️
Maverick is a Fire Dragon, Ice is an Ice Dragon, Goose is a Werewolf, and Slider is a Harpy (+ Baby Goose)
Slider: I'd make fun of your height but there isn't enough to make fun of.
Mav: *sulks in the corner for the rest of the preflight*
Mav: This food is too hot... I cant eat it. Ice: You’re very hot, and I still eat you. Everyone at the table: *silence* Goose: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING! Slider: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!
Mav: Bad news—Goose locked themself outside of their own house. Mav: Good news—we didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith. Mav: Bad news—Slider finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory(TM). I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned it was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute guys. Mav: Good news—a cute guy saw me do it. Mav: Bad news—it was Ice, and since they’ve already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, they’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. They know.
Based on a True Story:
Ice and Goose: cooking.
Mav and Slider: Joking around at the end of the counter.
Slider: Mav, is the Microwave supposed to be smoking?
Mav looks over to see smoke pouring out of the microwave: ICE THE POTATOES ARE ON FIRE.
Ice running over and opening the microwave. Additional smoke comes out. The potatoes are fine: WHERE THE FUCK IS THE SMOKE COMIMG FROM THE POTATOES AREN'T BURNT.
The microwave begins making weird noises. More smoke come out, then the microwave makes a popping sound. and the smoke stops coming.
The Microwave caught on fire.