Sander Sides - Blog Posts

v @the-floral-skeleton

Skshdjs now I'm just imagining this and all the possibilities

Light sides: *solving some problem in the middle of the night*

Janus, smacking the roof with a broom handle: SHUT! UP! WE'RE TRYING! TO SLEEP!

Alternatively—

Logan, stomping on the floor:

I DIDN'T GET NO SLEEP CUZ OF Y'ALL

Y'ALL NOT GONNA GET NO SLEEP CUZ OF ME

(Remus, tired: Isn't he keeping up the light sides too?

Janus: I believe that's intentional. )

Remus: Just stepped out of the shower while Janus was playing piano, felt like I was in a very classy movie about to be murdered

Patton: Are you guys okay down there??

Remus, Janus, and Virgil: No.

Roman: More importantly, Remus, you shower?

Remus: Of course!

Janus: He rolls around in volcanic ash like a chinchilla.

Roman: Oh. Uh, why?

Remus: I'm allergic to soap! :D

Roman, Logan, Patton, Thomas: ...

Remus: :DDD

Patton, trying his best: That's nice kiddo

C!Thomas: *cleaning a litterbox while catsitting for a friend*

Remus: Huh, that kinda looks like a salted nut roll.

C!Thomas:

C!Thomas: *deep sigh* And now I'm never eating one of those again.

Remus: Just stepped out of the shower while Janus was playing piano, felt like I was in a very classy movie about to be murdered

Patton: Are you guys okay down there??

Remus, Janus, and Virgil: No.

Roman: More importantly, Remus, you shower?

Remus: Of course!

Janus: He rolls around in volcanic ash like a chinchilla.

Roman: Oh. Uh, why?

Remus: I'm allergic to soap! :D

Roman, Logan, Patton, Thomas: ...

Remus: :DDD

Patton, trying his best: That's nice kiddo

So let's say the sides are at the party and they have a female friend. How would they react (as a group) if she said that some guy is not taking no for an answer and making her feel unsafe?

Roman, immediately taking charge: Which one is he?

Friend: Are you going to intimidate him?

Roman: No, I'm going to have Remus intimate him, I'm about as threatening as a sprig of rosemary.

Remus, looming behind Roman: Which one is he?

Friend: *points him out*

Remus, taking Janus with him: *heads in that direction*

Logan: *follows, so they don't do something they'll regret*

Patton, wrapping an arm around her if she's okay with that: Are you alright? Do you want to leave?

Friend: If you don't mind...

Patton: Of course we don't. You're more important than any dumb party.

Virgil: Yeah, I located all the exits when we first got here, the quickest one that doesn't go past him is this way.

Virgil: *leads group to exit*

Patton: *walks beside friend, keeping her close*

Roman: *walks close behind them, making sure nobody tries anything*

Virgil, Patton, Roman, Friend: *safely arrive to their homes/wherever they're headed back to*

Remus, Janus, Logan: *show up about an hour later, Remus with bruised knuckles that he refuses to explain, though he might have already had them, no one's totally sure*

Friend: How'd it go?

Janus: For us? Well. We won't have to worry about him bothering anyone again.

Friend: ...Is he alive?

Janus: Who's to say?

Logan, behind Janus: He's alive. And physically unharmed.

Friend, uncertain: Physically?

Logan, offering no elaboration: Yes.

Roman: *enters kitchen to see Janus sitting at the counter, face in his hands, Patton sitting beside him, rubbing his back, and Logan standing awkwardly in the corner*

Roman: Um... What?

Janus: *sniffling*

Roman: Is he crying?

Logan: Yes.

Roman: ...Why?

Logan: Patton convinced him to watch 'My Neighbor Totoro' with him. He...

Janus, through sobs: I thought it was going to be a cute story about a big fluffy rabbit-bear and it ripped out my heartstrings and used them to string a lute and then played it right in front of me!

Patton: *comforting intensifies*

Logan: That.

Roman: Right... I'm gonna go.

Logan: Take me with you.

My dog: Outside, staring in through the screen door

My cats, lounging around inside:

Logan: Just... Explain to me how you do this.

Remus: Simple. Cinnamon? Delicious flavor. Not super strong like cloves. In my life I have never made anything too cinnamon-y. A lot of recipes fear spices, so you gotta use your own judgement.

Remus: 'That's close enough?' I measure with my heart is my answer, but in reality I'm a lazy bitch and don't want to measure out all those tablespoons and teaspoons and then wash all the extra dishes.

Remus: Salt? Salt doesn't make things salty until you add too much. When you add the right amount, it just makes things taste. It enhances the natural flavor. Almost always add salt.

Remus: Almond flour? Almond flour is literally finely ground almonds. As long as you don't accidentally make almond butter, you can totally make it yourself.

Remus: Adding cinnamon and chili powder to hot chocolate is how they do it sometimes in some places in Mexico, and frankly, it's delicious. I just add it to taste.

Logan: But how do you know?

Remus: Uh... Experience? Intuition?

Logan: I CAN'T LEARN THOSE!

Logan, in front of camera: Yeah, I'm good at baking because it's a science, I follow instructions exactly and get the desired outcome.

- (Flashback) -

Remus: A fourth teaspoon of cinnamon? You're fucking with me. What do you think this is, radioactive?

Remus: 1/6 cup? Eh, this'll be close enough

Remus: This frosting doesn't have salt? Seriously, the recipe's fucking with me. You can't have frosting without salt.

Remus: I'm out of almond flour for macarons? Eh, I'll grind my own

-

Interviewer: And how do you feel about Remus's baking always turning out better than yours?

Remus: *in background, putting cinnamon and chili powder in his hot chocolate*

Logan: *eye twitches* It's fine.

Logan, in front of camera: Yeah, I'm good at baking because it's a science, I follow instructions exactly and get the desired outcome.

- (Flashback) -

Remus: A fourth teaspoon of cinnamon? You're fucking with me. What do you think this is, radioactive?

Remus: 1/6 cup? Eh, this'll be close enough

Remus: This frosting doesn't have salt? Seriously, the recipe's fucking with me. You can't have frosting without salt.

Remus: I'm out of almond flour for macarons? Eh, I'll grind my own

-

Interviewer: And how do you feel about Remus's baking always turning out better than yours?

Remus: *in background, putting cinnamon and chili powder in his hot chocolate*

Logan: *eye twitches* It's fine.

I had a dream there was a new halloween-themed Sander Sides and it was revealed that Janus kept Remus on a golden chain attached to a black o-ring collar around his neck

He held it loosely in his hand but if Remus starting giving intrusive thoughts he'd tug on it and like make him behave and everyone was like 'oh thank god he's under control'

It was weird but that'd be hilarious so here's hoping I have the gift of prophecy

The Sides Camping (Based On A True Story)

Patton: *drops his hotdog in the dirt*

Patton: :(

Patton: *gets a new hotdog*

Remus: Don't waste a perfectly good hotdog

Remus: *washes the hotdog in the nearby creek and cooks it*

Remus: Here

Patton: ...No thanks I'm good

Remus: Okay

Remus: *eats hotdog*

Virgil, Roman: *horror*

Logan: Don't worry, he cooked it, it's perfectly safe

Virgil: WHAT IF IT WASN'T??

Roman: I know that, but WTF, REMUS?

Janus: *watches and laughs and christens it The River Dog*

Patton: *now brings it up every camping trip*

Just Roman Being Relatable In My Band AU Fic

"We— wait, when did it get so dark outside?”

"I fucked up here, didn’t I?”

“This is it. This tells us if we get to play at the festival, in front of people, or not. ...I can't open it.”

Roman competed at a few games, whined about how they were rigged, and then was immediately shown up by Virgil as he nailed them. He pouted until the next game, and then the cycle continued.

“I don't know about anyone else, but I feel like I’m pretty obvious about my sexuality."

“Are they in a cult?”

“Okay, I’m asking now: What else can you do? What other special powers do you have? What else are you incredibly good at?”

"Mine’s not as deep or anything, but I’ve never actually dated anyone. I have this reputation for being loved by everyone and having had a bunch of relationship experience, but I’ve never even kissed anyone before."

(What are you going to do, threaten them?) “No, I’ll have Remus threaten them, because he’s much more intimidating than me. I’m about as scary as a sprig of rosemary.”

"I’m scared that when anyone gets close, they'll realize they don't love me and just leave."

Just Janus Being Relatable In My Band AU Fic

(When nobody else could open the envelope) Janus rolled their eyes, picking up the letter and opening it. "Dear..."

“I feel like Batman. I must go, Gaythem needs me. But Remus you’re coming with me.”

“Oh, I feel the love. I was singing too, where's my hug?”

“I’m not judging you. I’m just, well, judging you."

“If you want to talk, we’re here to listen."

“I’m polyamorous. That's not my thing, I’m still thinking, I just wanted to help move the attention off of you, um, ‘cuz Remus already knows that, um…"

“Put that on your resume. 'You’re good at that,’ Roman Prince."

“Who are these kids? I just wanna talk," Janus said, cracking their knuckles.

“For the record, you're perfectly valid."

Just Remus Being Relatable In My Band AU Fic

“This is very disconcerting. Patton, you sweet little puffball, come back." (When Patton's acting punk)

“Look, guy. I’m not in the mood to fight. But if you don't leave, I will fight you, and music’s not the only thing I’m trained in.” (What, karate?) “No, common sense. I have two knives on my body, want to find out where?”

(Do you really have two knives) “Nope. I have four. If he gets the two, he thinks it’s done, I pull out the third. He’s like, okay, that's pretty smart, he gets the third, and then I stab with the fourth.”

“I’m just making sure I don't get the wrong idea here! It's good to know the status of your friends’ relationships! Shut up.” (They haven't said anything) “They’re mocking me with their eyes.”

“Not to stereotype, but I’m kind of flaming."

(Glare) "You know you're going to win this because I’m not allowed to explain the situation.”

"How do you want to celebrate? Don't tell me you don't do something to celebrate after winning against the entire state."

“I like having smooth legs."

"Get on my back, I’ll carry you.” (Really?) “Yeah. We have to preserve your perfect marshmallow body, don't we?”

“Tell me if he bothers you again. I will make him regret it.”

"I crack jokes when I'm uncomfortable as a coping mechanism, so I can't have a serious conversation about it, so yeah, worm.”

“I’m afraid of going out unarmed at night or evening. I mean, it's a pretty simple fix, though; I arm myself.”

“I feel stupid arming myself just to go for a walk at night. I’m working on it.”

Just Virgil Being Relatable In My Band AU Fic

“Patton two-point-oh-my-god.” (When Patton gets a punk makeover)

In his corner of the garage, Virgil started snapping. His hands were up by his ears as he did, and he was grinning, seemingly in his own little world.

(I just realized— we’re all in the community, aren't we? Well, I don't know about Virgil.) Virgil’s snapping had stopped, but now he was rocking back and forth on his heels. “I’m gay. And trans, actually.”

“Looks like you gotta rap now, man. I don't make the rules.”

“Yikes, man. Er— sorry, is it alright if I call you that?”

"At school, to defend my hiding behind layers and black clothing, I pretended to be goth or emo ..."

”Do you want to kiss?” (Who?) "Me."

“I’m scared of someone finding out my deadname and using it. Any time I hear it, I just freeze up ..."

"I’m not really accepted in a lot of trans spaces, because I don't want surgery or HRT. I just… Identify as a guy. That's not enough, apparently."

Just Patton Being Relatable In My Band AU Fic

“I am a little marshmallow boy, I am not made for physical activity.”

“I’ve kind of always wanted an excuse to give myself a makeover. Make me punk.”

"Now I am happy and healthy and medicated.”

“Let's stick together, though. ‘Cuz two of us can't really talk right now and I get lost super easily.”

(About being obvious about their sexualities) “I don't try to talk about it, but just… Boys!”

TS El Dorado

If there was a Sander Side Themed The Road To El Dorado, these are the best pairings I can think of (ignoring the ships it implies)—

Roman as Miguel, Logan as Tulio, Janus as Chel

Remus as Miguel, Janus as Tulio, Virgil/Dark!Logan as Chel

And if I had to put them all as characters—

Janus: Chel (master of deception, the entire reason Miguel and Tulio get away with their lives, the only one in the trio with a braincell count in the double digits)

Logan: Speaker For The Gods dude (was adhering to the rules/lore that had been written, tried to bring down the liars who dared to impersonate gods by going batshit evil, 'being feared is the only way you can get them to respect you')

Remus: The King (sharp enough to notice Miguel and Tulio are only human, goofy enough to let them pretend to be gods because it's really raising his people's spirits and they got rid of The Speaker For The Gods, his rival)

Roman: The Horse (he's just along for the drama, baby)

Patton: Miguel (nice, friendly, hates that the villagers are scared of him, doesn't have a voice in his head, no braincells just a himbo)

Virgil: Tulio (wants to finish the plan and get out, much more anxious than Miguel, comes up with all the excuses to get them out of trouble, has like seven braincells but not all of them work at the same time)

THE BOYS HAVE BEEN BEANED!

A video with a closeup of them

The boys are finished! I'm so happy with them :D

Patterns: cut

Colors: matched

Bois: pinned together

Reference boi: ready

Special eyes for the special boi: Ready

Screw it, have some famILY

Patton: *yawn, opens eyes*

On Patton's bedside table: HUGE SPIDER

Patton: *shrieks, jumps out of bed, runs out of room*

Patton: Virgil! Virgil there's a giant bug in my room I need you to kill it!

Virgil: *gets up, follows Patton to his room*

Virgil: *kills bug*

Virgil: That was a big spider

Patton: Yeah I woke up and it was right in my face and I yelled... Well, I'm definitely awake now

Virgil: *laugh*

Patton: Thank you!!

Patton defending the dark sides from one of my fics, which I'm sharing because idk:

"If Thomas isn't evil, doesn't that mean none of us are either? He’s a good person, and we’re all parts of him. Plus, I say they’re good people, and I— I’m Morality!”

Remus, plopping in the kitchen: It's so hard to find a good top these days.

Roman: Right?? It's impossible!

Remus: It's like, too restricting, or too loose, or too short—

Roman: Too short? That's really a dealbreaker for you?

Remus: I mean, unless it's cropped, then yeah. It's a big problem, being above average height.

Roman: *comprehends*

Roman: *slowly turns bright red*

Remus: ...

Remus: We're both talking about shirts, right?

Roman, mumbling: Shut up.

Virgil, raising an eyebrow: I thought Remus was the—

Roman, redder: SHUT UP.

Eating Crofter's and yeah, I finally get Logan shoveling it in his mouth right from the jar, this shit SLAPS

Logan: I saw online today, someone freaking out about how you bake cookies and cook bacon.

Janus: Yeah, I never got that whole thing. I mean, you bake bacon.

Logan: ...Pardon?

Janus:

Janus: Do

Janus: Do you

Janus: Do you not bake bacon in the oven on a cookie sheet

Logan: No?? You fry it??

Janus: But it gets so crispy and nice ?? Why would you fry it???

Logan: *looks to Remus*

Remus: Don't look at me, I've had Janus's bacon. It's superior.

Logan: But that's not how it's done??? No bacon recipe says to bake it?

Janus: Oh I don't follow recipes exactly

Logan: But thEY'RE RULES

Janus: I mean recipes are really just suggestions when you have enough experience

Logan: (head explodes because oh my god everything Janus makes tastes so good and he's not even using recipes—)

Logan. "Why don't you believe ghosts are real?"

Janus. "I've never seen one."

Logan. "Okay, I mean, there's a lot of things that you can't see that you— that are real."

Janus. "What can't I see?"

Logan. "You can't see gravity, that's real."

Janus. "Yeah, I can drop an apple."

Logan. "Fuck."

I feel like that could be for a few reasons, these are the ones that make the most sense to me:

1. Logan's speaking for the fans, as Apollo is the god of prophecy/oracles, and we're definitely wishing there was more orange side stuff especially considering it was 'prophesied' by the fans that Logan and the Orange side would be connected/Logan would be the Orange side

2. Logan's referring to how Apollo is the god of truth/knowledge and Logan (truth/knowledge) was really ignored that episode

3. Apollo, being the 'averter of evil,' could have kept Remus at bay

4. Apollo, being the god of healing/health, could have helped C!Thomas's mental state

Bonus, kind of joking, kind of not:

5. The orange side's name is Apollo and Logan knows him

6. Logan is referring to himself because Apollo is the hottest god (pun intended)

But since Apollo is the god of just about everything it's gonna be really hard to know what he meant until Thomas tells us

Does anyone have any thoughts on the line “If only Apollo had more influence today” ?

Im just slightly confused by it…. Aphrodite makes sense to reference as the goddess of love, but why Apollo? Music and the sun and archery and healing and stuff? Why is that the god Logan chooses to reference? I might just be missing something obvious lol

Patton. "I wonder what's in that closet. Nope, don't even check."

Remus. "I'll check. What if I open this and a thousand rattlesnakes jump out?"

Patton. "Then I'm gonna run."

Remus. "Alright. Let's boogie, boys!" (Opens closet.) "It's a mattress. And dirt."

(Later)

Patton. "What's in this one?"

Remus. "This is fun, because now you have to open this door, because I opened that one. What if you pick the wrong one and there's like a, a clown with a decaying face in there?"

Patton. (Mocking) "'What if you pick the wrong one and there's a fucking clown with a decaying face in there?'"

Logan. "Open the door. Stop joking."

Patton. (Pause) "What if— Okay, I'm running, just letting you know."

A littol Virgil! (Does this count as fanart?)

Based off the Campfire Au Vee by @tscampfireau (HIGHLY recommend you check it out, it's awesome!)

Remus. Oh my god.

Janus. What?

Remus. It's a fucking dead bird.

Janus. What? Oh, that's an omen, or something.

Patton. Why is there a dead bird in here?

Logan. There was probably a live bird in here and then something happened that made it dead.

Remus. Oh. Great analysis, doc. Oh Jesus, it's all rotted and it's eyes are gone, this is horrifying.

Logan. Well, its eyes aren't gonna stick around.

Concept: Janus tries to teach the other sides to sew (I've been sewing a lot and this is all I can think of)

Remus: Is doing pretty well, has continued to stab needles and sewing scissors into his eyes so his workspace is a bit bloody, you can tell he is making an octopus though

Virgil: Refuses to use a sewing machine because it scares him (a very reasonable fear), uses thimbles, it's slow and clumsy but he makes a pretty cool stuffed stormcloud in the end

Patton: Is doing surprisingly well! He keeps stabbing his fingers with needles on accident and drawing blood (not much though), he ends up with a cute little blob frog that's definitely friend-shaped

Logan: He watched Janus sew once and immediately got the hang of it. He made a stuffed cube. It is a perfect cube. None of them know how he did this. He can't thread a needle to save his life though, he has to keep asking Janus to do it for him

Roman: Was crying because he tried something much too complicated and failed and Janus had to gently coax him back to the workspace and help him make a simpler design and assure him he wasn't a failure and the second design turned out and he was really happy with it and thanked Janus for not giving up on him and Janus just gave him a little smile

Logan: And 85 grams of dark molasses.

Patton: Molasses!

Logan: Or black treacle if you don't know what molasses are.

Roman: Looks like a jar of your soul, Virge.

Virgil: Aw, thank you, Princey. That is honestly all I aspire to.

Remus: One cactus.

Patton: No. No, put the cactus down. No cacti in the pumpkin cookies.