Sander Sides - Blog Posts
[Patton and Emile meet]
Patton: Oh, hi, kiddo! The fans have told me so much about you, about how we'd get along super well—
Emile, whipping out a notepad: So, tell me about your need to always have the answer and inability to say that you don't know for fear of disappointing the others. When did that start?
Patton, tears already streaming down his face: What.
Patton, when Janus and Roman are fighting: Well, I guess we'll just have to look for proof to see who's not being truthful!
Janus, studying his gloves: Go ahead, search my room; I have nothing to hide.
Roman, indignant: Oh, and I do?!
Janus: Uh, did I say anything about you, stupid bitch?
Roman: ...
Janus, scoffing: Egocentric much?
So far every side name has two syllables.
Ro/man.
Ja/nus. (or Jan/us, depends on how you say it)
Re/mus.
Pat/ton.
Lo/gan.
Vir/gil.
Even Thom/as and Ni/co have two syllables.
Heck, even E/mile and Re/my have two syllables.
What if the next side doesn't? What if it's like, Craig or something?
Even Apollo (a common orange-side name theory, after Logan's comment about wishing Apollo had more of an influence in WTIT) would mess with the pattern, being A/pol/lo
Roman, sagely: Treat bugs as you wish to be treated.
Patton: Killed without hesitation.
Roman: NO— Do you need to talk?
Patton, voice breaking: Yeah that'd be nice
Virgil: (glances at Logan's computer that he left on)
A random google document:
Me: (stays in the bath for .7 seconds too long)
My fingertips: This is It, boys. We shall Revert Back to The Ways of underwater. We shall never see The Surface again.
Virgil: ...
Virgil: Hey Lo have you ever heard of Tumblr—
Sanders Sides Fans!
Janus Lovers!
Deceitful Minded and Self-Preserving!
Friends!
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Logan: You malodorous scenturian!
Roman: *blank look*
Logan: *sigh*
Logan: You stinky soldier boy.
Roman: *gasp* How dare you!
Patton: (unbuttons polo one button more than usual because it's hot out)
Logan, completely straight-faced: Whore.
Patton:
Patton: (unbuttons the next button just to see what will happen)
A Thought (CW: Eating/Eating Non-Edible Things)
Remus: Eats deodorant (canon)
Patton: Eats play dough (canon)
So...
Logan: Eats books (a joke from way back when)
Roman: Idk, like, makeup or glitter (to be beautiful on the inside too)
Virgil: ...spiders (will not elaborate)
Janus: Swallows whole raw eggs (because snake)
Respond to this (reply or reblog whatever you want) with your favorite Patton quote, canon or something you saw in a fan work
Janus, black veil attached to his bowler hat: This is so sad. I'll miss my husband so much.
Virgil: There's still blood on your hands. You obviously killed him.
Janus: So incredibly sad that my wealthy husband has died.
Virgil: You— This is so suspicious. How does nobody else find this incredibly suspicious?
Patton, hugging Janus: Shhh. He's grieving.
Logan, patting Janus's back: Shhh. He's single.
I had a cursed thought (Remon and Romus) and had to continue (disregarding the cool, plausible names, like Vergilius and Romulus)
Janus, Janan
Remus, Remon
Virgil, Virgus, Virgan
Roman, Romus
Logan, Logus
Patton, Pattus
Thomas, Thomus, Thomon
Janus’s light side name is Janan
A fic in which the 'it was all a dream' is the beginning of the story
I’m so tired of this. Logan rubbed his eyes, sighing. No matter how much research he did, he wasn't listened to.
He got up, leaving his ‘room,’ heading down the mind palace’s staircase to get himself water.
“Logan, watch out!” he heard a distant voice yell, and before he knew it, he’d tripped, tumbling down the steps before his world went dark.
–
“Mm?”
“Oh my god, Logan, are you alright?” he heard Virgil's voice ask him anxiously.
His body… hurt. He blinked, trying to remember what had happened. “Why am I experiencing pain?”
“You got hit by a car. I— I tried to warn you, but it was too late. Luckily you didn't break anything.”
He rubbed his eyes, sitting up. He was in a hospital room. He looked over at Virgil, blinking. “You look different.”
Janus: Hey I'm ba—
Remus, clinging onto his leg: NEVER LEAVE ME AGAIN
Janus: Are you alright?
Remus: I HAVE ABANDONMENT ISSUES JANNIE NEVER LEAVE ME
Janus: You— what?
Remus: Because Virgil left! And [R̴̢̢̧̟̭̲̗͍̔̓͐̒̈́͌̎͒̓͊̚͠Ę̵̫͙͔̗̤͆̌̌̀̿͋́̄͊̽̚͠ͅͅD̷̛̛̮̝̜́͋́̕̚Ả̷̛̲̟͍̃̇͋̑̇́͛̚C̶̢̱͔͈͎͔͚̤͍̿̀͛̇͗͗̈́̾͑̾̕͜͠T̵̟͎͖̘͈͎̻̑̊̾͛̓̀͊̄͝ͅÉ̶̢͇̭̜̋̇̑̀́̐͗̾̉̀̕͠͝ͅͅD̸͉̓̀̾̉̆̃̆̊̊̿̀̾̈́] left! And you can't leave too!
Janus: (picks him up) Hey, I just went to the store. Next time you can come with me, okay? I'm not going anywhere. Okay?
Remus: *sniffle* Okay...
Roman, still there: ...Who's [R̴̢̢̧̟̭̲̗͍̔̓͐̒̈́͌̎͒̓͊̚͠Ę̵̫͙͔̗̤͆̌̌̀̿͋́̄͊̽̚͠ͅͅD̷̛̛̮̝̜́͋́̕̚Ả̷̛̲̟͍̃̇͋̑̇́͛̚C̶̢̱͔͈͎͔͚̤͍̿̀͛̇͗͗̈́̾͑̾̕͜͠T̵̟͎͖̘͈͎̻̑̊̾͛̓̀͊̄͝ͅÉ̶̢͇̭̜̋̇̑̀́̐͗̾̉̀̕͠͝ͅͅD̸͉̓̀̾̉̆̃̆̊̊̿̀̾̈́]?
Janus: . . .
Janus: Thank you for making sure Remus didn't burn down the dark side. I appreciate it.
Roman: Wait, Janus, who's [R̴̢̢̧̟̭̲̗͍̔̓͐̒̈́͌̎͒̓͊̚͠Ę̵̫͙͔̗̤͆̌̌̀̿͋́̄͊̽̚͠ͅͅD̷̛̛̮̝̜́͋́̕̚Ả̷̛̲̟͍̃̇͋̑̇́͛̚C̶̢̱͔͈͎͔͚̤͍̿̀͛̇͗͗̈́̾͑̾̕͜͠T̵̟͎͖̘͈͎̻̑̊̾͛̓̀͊̄͝ͅÉ̶̢͇̭̜̋̇̑̀́̐͗̾̉̀̕͠͝ͅͅD̸͉̓̀̾̉̆̃̆̊̊̿̀̾̈́]?
Janus: I'm sure you have very important princely duties—
Remus: *snicker*
Janus: —to fulfill, I'd hate to keep you from them.
Roman, as he's being sent away: JANUS WHO IS—
Remus: *sigh* I miss Janus...
Roman: He just went to the store, he'll be back in an hour.
Remus: *bangs fist on table* THAT'S WHAT VIRGIL SAID TOO
Remus: *sigh* I miss Janus...
Roman: He just went to the store, he'll be back in an hour.
Remus: *bangs fist on table* THAT'S WHAT VIRGIL SAID TOO
Unstoppable force (Patton's love and affection and want to know more about him) vs immovable object (Virgil not wanting to open up to anyone about his past with the dark sides)
Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts
Before Thomas Sanders:
Me: *has intrusive thought*
Me, internally: No! No no ew no bad ugh *shakes head like etch-a-sketch* no no gross don't think like that no
After Thomas Sanders:
Me: *has intrusive thought*
Me, internally: Ew
Me: *continues doing whatever I was doing*
So cheers @thatsthat24 for informing me about something that none of my doctors ever did, even though with my mental health track record they really should have
Remus: I always thought young, good-looking, nice teachers were made up for fiction plots
Roman: And...?
Remus: Then I met this one teacher at my school, and I don't know, there's something about him. Handsome, button-down, glasses, dark, kinda curly hair, tall and lean, did a flammability lab where we got to light shit on fire—
Logan, handsome, button-down, glasses, dark, kinda curly hair, tall and lean, loves to light shit on fire with Remus: *speechless*
Roman, when Remus leaves: He's... He's friendzoning you so hard... He's projecting his attraction to you on someone who's like you...
Logan: I have to go. I'm going to smash something with a bat.
Theodore (my cat): *meow*
Me, through my closed room door: You can't come in buddy
Theodore: *sad meow*
Me: I'm sorry but my room isn't clean and you're a little bastard
Theodore: *sadder meow*
Now I can just imagine one of the sides having this conversation with Remus (Remus as my cat, obviously)
Logan, quietly, seeing a unisex bathroom sign: Ah, yes, the three genders: Pants, skirt, and wheelchair.
Thomas:
Everyone who can't hear/see Logan: *gives him strange looks*
“You know a lot about this,” Patton said, seeming surprised.
Roman’s cheeks turned pink. “Well, y’know, someone once came out to me as polyamorous and I realized I didn't know much about it so I decided to do some research so I could support them wholeheartedly.”
Patton smiled, touched.
Don't mind them having a sweet moment while Logan's mom is having a breakdown right beside them and Logan is in the hospital
Remus, clothes shopping: These pants make me feel like Harry Styles, but not in a fun & sexy way.
Patton: What?
Logan: They're too bunchy around the hip/thigh area, got it.
Remus: Yeah, I don't have the hips for these.
(Several days later)
Remus, shooting up in the middle of the night: THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HIGH-RISE!
[Roman]: Your problem is you didn't woo her with any gusto. You know what people like?
[Patton]: Bagels!
[Roman]: N-No, what? Maybe.
Can confirm that if someone asked me out with bagels, it'd work better than flowers
Between Remus and his complicated relationship with Patton, Janus probably hasn't slept in eight years
Logan, on phone: I heard you guys are at the emergency room. What happened? Are you okay?
Virgil: Oh, so Patton tried to pet a dingo—
Logan: Oh my god! Is he okay??
Virgil: Yeah he's fine, Roman got mauled by the dingo for trying to get him to stop petting it.
Logan: Oh my god, how did you handle that?
Virgil: Easy. Took Pat to a dog shelter so he can pet puppies safely, told Roman some stories about knights that got hurt while protecting their friends.
Logan: Wow. I'm impressed.
Virgil: How've you and Janus and Remus been?
Logan: *looks at kitchen that is in shambles from the two of them microwaving a microwave (for science) as Remus frantically tries to clean it up before Janus sees*
Logan: ...Equally good, I'd say.
Virgil, laughing: What, have one of you been mauled too?
Logan: Not yet.
Virgil: Wait, what?
Logan, hearing Janus's footsteps: Gotta go bye!
Virgil: LOGAN WHAT—
Logan, finishing ranting about how stupid it was: I wish I could give them a piece of my mind.
Remus: You were on the phone with them?
Logan: No, I was on the phone with their innocent secretary, who's just doing their job. I'm not gonna shoot the messenger. I'm gonna go to the corporate headquarters and shoot the CEO.
Remus: I have a gun.
Logan: What?
Remus: What?
Logan: ...That was a hyperbole. I'm not going to commit murder. It's eat the rich, not shoot the rich.
Remus: Haha yeah I know I'm joking
Logan: Remus why do you have a gun
Remus: I don't know what you mean—
Logan, on the phone: Oh, no, it's no problem....Alright, thank you so much for your help!...Thanks so much! Have a great day!
Logan: *ends call*
Logan, throwing his phone across the room: THOSE MOTHERFU—
Remus, watching this go down: Well, mark me down as scared and horny.
Janus, rolling his eyes: Can you even tell the difference between the two at this point?
Remus: No.
Logan, on the phone: Oh, no, it's no problem....Alright, thank you so much for your help!...Thanks so much! Have a great day!
Logan: *ends call*
Logan, throwing his phone across the room: THOSE MOTHERFU—
Remus, watching this go down: Well, mark me down as scared and horny.
Janus, rolling his eyes: Can you even tell the difference between the two at this point?
Remus: No.
The sides' quirks when entering a new house, based on my own
Virgil: Figures out where the exits/entrances are (just in case)
Logan: Figures out where the bathrooms are (practical)
Janus: Figures out where the outlets in commonly-access rooms are (practical)
Patton: Figures out if there are pets/where the pets are (a necessity)
Roman: Figures out which common-accessed window has the best view (harmless?)
Remus: Figures out where all the doors lead to (why)
Side Allergies
Canon ones, (with proof):
Patton: Allergic to cats
(It even has a front pouch to place an actual cat, if you so desire.)
"Oh, I can't. I'm allergic."
Remus: Allergic to soap
"It's got soap on it! I'm allergic to soap, you (beep)!"
Roman: Allergic to cats
"You think you know someone and then WHAM! Out of nowhere... they fill your apartment with feral cats?! And now you're somehow responsible for the vet bills? You've got to give them away, but despite your cat allergy, you've endeared yourself to them, especially to Mrs. Snuffles... more like Mrs. Sniffles! ...Because of the allergy."
So, for the others, my guesses for allergies are:
Logan: Allergic to bullshit
Janus: Allergic to society
Virgil: Allergic to makeup remover